There was a long-ago, ghostly anecdote, once told to Sophie and Josie by their great-grandma. They had listened wide-eyed and fearful, watching the old lady’s wrinkly lips, as she told them how her beloved father had contracted smallpox and had been sent to an isolation boat in the Thames. How she had woken as a small girl in the middle of the night and had seen his faint shape move across the end of her bed. She had pointed with her sinewy finger to demonstrate how the ghostly corpse had paused to bow and then had flowed away. She told the girls how she had known in that instant that this apparition was her father’s farewell and how her mother had received notification the next evening that he had died the night before. The girls had mostly discounted the story as the fantastical ramblings of a very old lady but stories like that linger on in the depths of your subconscious. And then, when you have no idea that they are still there, when your thoughts are running wild, they ease their way to the surface of your mind and haunt you…
It was still dark when some slight movement, perhaps no movement at all, perhaps a prod from a sinewy finger, caused Sophie to wake and see a faint shape drift past her bedroom door. With no time for fear, her immediate concern was Laura. She hurried into the next room and discovered her daughter sleeping peacefully, her small features illuminated by the dim light beside her cot. Sophie sagged down onto the floor and imagined the great-great-granddad she had known only through an old woman’s reflections. She watched the dark corridor outside but there was nothing. She thought of Jonah, his head that harboured so many lies, swathed in bandages. Perhaps something had happened. Perhaps he had wanted to apologise to her for the unhappiness he was causing her, before he was gone. These were not the things Sophie would normally think, but it was the middle of the night and she was thinking them. She hurried back to her room, turned on the light and phoned the hospital. The phone rang for some time. She hoped it wasn’t disturbing desperately ill people. Eventually someone answered. Mr Perrin’s condition was unchanged.
Sophie went back onto the landing and turned on the light, returned to her bed and sat going over the day: Sam. She’d upset him. Declared her distrust. What if that had been Sam’s spirit calling out to her. She crushed her mind’s suggestion that such things were possible. But at ten past three in the morning, alone in her bed, all things were possible. She couldn’t phone him. Not in the middle of the night. So, she sat, watching her bedroom curtains, and waited for the daylight to gather and drive away her fears.
By late morning Sam hadn’t called. When the phone did finally ring, it was Katie. She was about to have lunch with a potential client, in Guildford. She could drop round for coffee at around two thirty. If that was convenient. Sophie said yes, please come, she’d be on her own, then she went to the kitchen to make lunch. The doorbell rang. She hurried to open it and found herself confronted by two large men, one bearded and bald, one ginger with a nasty-looking mole on his cheek. The bald one was standing on her bottom step, the ginger one on the pavement. She felt anxious. Vulnerable.
‘Sorry to bother you, love,’ said the bald man, ‘but we need to contact Mr Robert Perrin and we believe ’e is resident at this address.’ He placed a foot on the top step and, as he did so, Sophie was overwhelmed by the stench of stale beer and cigarette smoke. She immediately relaxed. These men were obviously members of the Fox and Gander skittles team, wondering what had happened to Jonah. Odd that they knew him by his Exeter name. He must have assumed she’d never go to watch him play. She briefly explained that Robert would not be competing in the foreseeable future due to being unconscious in hospital with brain damage following a road accident, the Neurological Unit at Southampton General. And would they please apologise to the other team members on Jonah’s behalf.
Ginger man looked irritated, but bald man stepped down onto the pavement, his face affecting an ugly attempt at sympathy. ‘Sorry to ’ear that, love. Please give Robert our good wishes, would you? And when ’e comes round, tell ’im Joe and Col arsed after ’im.’ With that the two men left.
Sophie watched them walk away towards the town centre then carried Laura through to give her lunch. As she was clearing away, the doorbell rang once again. She hurried through, desperate to find Sam standing on the top step. She pulled open the door. It was Sam, but it wasn’t. For a start, Sam hadn’t had that designer stubble last night and as far as she knew he didn’t own any clothes that were half as decent as those that were on the Sam that was in front of her: expensive chinos…
‘Hello, Sophie. I’m Sam’s brother.’
‘Jesse? Is Sam OK? Has something happened?’
‘No, nothing like that. Do you mind if I…?’
Sophie invited him in, led him through the hallway and into the kitchen, offered coffee. ‘My daughter’s just had lunch. It’s a bit of a war zone in here.’
He smiled, checked one of the chairs for debris and sat down. ‘I just wanted to have a chat with you. About Sam.’
Sophie looked at him, uncertain. ‘What about Sam?’
He sighed. ‘Look, this is difficult. I just wanted to say, well, to say… I don’t want to see Sam get hurt.’
‘I wouldn’t…’
‘He was devastated when he got home last night.’
‘Oh, I didn’t mean to upset him. It’s just… did he tell you how we met?’
‘Your partner’s accident?’
‘Yes, but other things I’ve found out about Jonah… about my partner, it’s made me suspicious of everybody. Then a couple of things made me suspect something was going on that involved Sam.’ She told him about the business cards.
Jesse frowned. ‘Actually, Sam did give someone my contact details. I think I’ve booked a meeting.’ He pulled out his phone and checked. ‘September the fourteenth? Royston Computers. Is that your partner’s company?’
‘Yes, but I don’t suppose he’ll be making that meeting. I’m sorry I upset Sam.’
Jesse shook his head. ‘My brother’s a bit… well, someone let him down.’
‘Eleven years ago?’
‘Has he told you about it?’
‘Not much. He said she was an older woman.’ Sophie made coffee and listened.
‘Yes, she was older. Amelia. She was South American. She got pregnant. So, Sam signed away his life and then, when she was about six months gone, she went back to Argentina. She phoned to tell him her half of the house would be sufficient to cover any future child care. My mother helped pay her off then hired a private investigator. It turned out she was actually married to an English guy in Buenos Aires. He wasn’t able to have children, so they came across to the UK to find a nice blond father for their child. And a significant amount of child support. And that was pretty much that.’
Sophie handed him a mug and sat down opposite him. ‘Couldn’t she just have opted for AI?’
‘I think it was the child support that tipped the balance.’
‘What about the baby?’
‘Sam’s never seen him.’ Jesse gave her a cautious look. ‘When Sam discovered the extent to which Amelia had used him, he fell apart. Booked himself into a hotel just outside Brighton and swallowed a bottle of fine rioja and a fistful of temazepam. Fortunately, there was a fire and they discovered him when they were checking the rooms. I probably shouldn’t be telling you all this, but… I don’t want anything like that to happen to him again.’
Sophie shook her head to drive away the image of Sam in his hotel room, swigging down sleeping pills. She watched Jesse’s awkward silence. Wondered how people with such perfect stubble managed to stop it turning into an actual beard.
Jesse cleared his throat. ‘As far as I know, he’s avoided any serious attachment since Amelia. Right up until now. Sophie, if you think this relationship is just your reaction to the situation you’ve found yourself in then… Christ, I shouldn’t be doing this. I… has Sam told you anything else about himself? Apart from Amelia?’
‘Only that he teaches English. And he has a lot of books.’ That didn’t sound much to know about a person she’d just encouraged to move in with her. She got to her feet. ‘I’m just going to put Laura upstairs. She missed her morning sleep. I won’t be a minute. Then we can talk some more. Are you in a hurry?’
‘Not really. I’ve got a meeting at four.’
Sophie hurried Laura into her cot then returned to the kitchen. Jesse looked up. ‘Sophie, I’m sorry to do this to you.’ He ran his fingers through his hair just like Sam. ‘And I’d prefer it if Sam didn’t know I told you about him trying to top himself. OK? But I need to tell…’
‘Would you like another coffee?’
‘What? No, I’m fine. I…’
‘Did Sam tell you that I discovered Jonah’s been living a double life and that, when the accident happened, he was leaving me to go back to his wife and children?’
Jesse looked startled. ‘No, he didn’t. That’s awful.’
‘I can’t believe I was so gullible. But, Jesse…’
The letterbox scraped open. ‘Soph, it’s me!’
Sophie explained that her friend was dropping by for coffee then ran to open the front door. Katie strode in. ‘Hi, Soph, I thought I’d better not ring the bell in case Laura was asleep. I could murder a coffee.’
‘How was your meeting?’
‘Well, there’s businesses you can punch life into and then there’s miracles. We charge more for miracles. And these stupid sods are willing to pay for one. So…’ She stepped into the kitchen and paused. ‘Have you had a makeover or something?’
Sophie laughed. ‘It’s not Sam. It’s his brother, Jesse. Jesse, this is my best friend Katie. She’s known for saying exactly what she thinks. Without thinking about it first.’
Jesse got to his feet and offered his hand. Katie frowned and accepted it. ‘Good Lord. Sophie, why don’t you try and make Sam look like this?’
Jesse failed to suppress a smile. Sophie offered Katie a chair. ‘Do you actually want coffee or have you just called round to embarrass me?’
‘Both will do me. Is Sam here?’
‘No. Jesse just nipped over for a chat.’
‘What, a chat about Sam behind his back?’
A brief anxiety flashed across Jesse’s brow.
‘Jesse was just checking that my intentions towards Sam were honourable.’
‘What?’
‘I wanted to make sure my brother wasn’t going to get hurt.’
Katie gaped at him. ‘What kind of freak are you? What do you think Sophie’s likely to do? Steal his virginity then move on to the next guy she can find with a bad-hair day?’
Jesse stared speechless. Sophie sighed. ‘Katie, Jesse’s just concerned about Sam.’
‘Why?’
‘Because… Look, can we just change the subject? Everything’s fine. Sam will be back later.’ She felt her cheeks flushing. ‘He’s been staying over. And…’
‘And his big brother’s just checking out the facilities?’
‘He’s not his big brother. Jesse’s twelve minutes younger than Sam.’
Katie effected one of her legendary attitude reversals and said, ‘That was clearly a very creative twelve minutes.’
Jesse looked confused. Sophie glanced at him and rolled her eyes. ‘Jesse, would you like to change your mind about the coffee?’
‘I don’t know. What did I say about the coffee?’
‘That you didn’t want one.’
‘Oh. Yes, I’ll change my mind, if that’s OK.’
Jesse handled Katie’s intrusive questioning stoically, hurried to finish his coffee and left to attend his meeting. Katie sat back and folded her arms.
‘So, why’s Sam’s brother so concerned that you don’t transmute into the bitch from Hell. With a baby?’
Sophie rubbed her eyes, painfully aware that she had spent most of the night thinking about floating spirits. ‘Katie, don’t you have to go back to work?’
‘I’m currently in the hotel lobby writing up my report. Tell me what’s going on.’
So, Sophie supplied a few brief snippets of Sam’s history, taking care not to mention the hotel. Katie listened, and when Sophie’s summary came to an end, she said nothing. Sophie folded her arms. ‘Aren’t you going to offer some kind of annoying opinion?’
‘Nope. I’ll just offer to stand by you when it all falls apart.’
‘That’s equivalent to an annoying opinion.’
‘Soph, the last thing you need at the moment is to get yourself involved with a guy whose life is as stable as a train wreck. What about Laura?’
‘It was you who pointed out how good he is with her.’ She supressed a yawn. ‘And I’m in love with him.’
‘Well, that’s always a good basis upon which to redirect your life. Look how well being in love with Jonah turned out.’
‘I never felt this way about Jonah. I’m just scared I’ve ruined everything. I found one of Jonah’s business cards in Sam’s wallet and accused him of knowing Jonah already and being involved in some kind of… I don’t know what.’
Katie frowned for a moment then slowly shook her head. ‘You went through his wallet? That’s a good start, Soph. Really great. Make more coffee.’