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The sound of DeShondra rumbling about in the kitchenette woke Cabrina with a start. Sitting straight up in bed, her eyes wide and hair disheveled, she looked on the floor for her pajama pants. Hastily dressing in a loose fitted tee, she padded barefoot into the main room of the suite, feebly trying to tie the drawstring in the pants. Too late she realized she had put the pants on inside out and her good friend, taking into account her state, gave an approving look.
“Thank goodness you got some last night. Maybe you won’t look so tight about the mouth like you sucked on a tart lime,” DeShondra said, puckering up making fish lips.
“You don’t seem too worse for wear,” Cabrina added, sticking her hands into the pockets of the striped pink pajama bottoms. It took three tries, considering the pockets were on the outside of the pants.
“Girl, that bearded bastard hit it so hard and so deep, he reset my reproductive clock. I can hear it ticking in my ears to run back downstairs and start working on giving him three adorable little ashy babies,” DeShondra said. She rummaged through the cupboards, looking for a little packet of complimentary hotel coffee to jumpstart her love hungover brain.
Cabrina, trying to shake off her own love hangover, asked, “Shondra, why do the babies have to be ashy?”
Without warning, DeShondra pulled up her dress, showing off her bottom which was in fact, in dire need of a chunk of cocoa butter. The dryness of her skin had surpassed the ability of lotion to be of any benefit. Cabrina reached forward, pulling the tail of the dress down. She didn’t need to see all of that before her first cup of coffee.
“See, my skin is so dry that I have to use prescription strength lotion. I see you’re frowning at me. You and Mae Laun can both kiss my ashy ass,” DeShondra said.
“I don’t even know who Mae Laun is or how she factors into this conversation,” Cabrina retorted, trying with very little success to get her friend back on topic.
“Mae Laun is the little Vietnamese lady that does my feet,” she said with wide eyes. “I started this course on Pronunciator to learn the language, because every time I walked into the shop, she would always say the same thing to the girl behind the desk. Like, here comes chân cá sấu. I looked that shit up, too.”
“Well, what does it mean?”
“It means alligator feet,” DeShondra said. Cabrina pressed her lips tightly together to keep from laughing. “That heffah is saying my skin is so dry, that she calls me alligator feet!”
“Shondra, why do you keep going back to her if you know the lady is insulting you? You don’t pay people to talk down to you,” Cabrina said in an effort to offer an ounce of comfort.
“I have to. She takes good care of my feet, and they don’t feel so rough when she is done,” she said, adding water to the coffee hopper. “Besides, I would have to start all over and train someone else how to shave my bunions.”
At that point, Cabrina did laugh. She needed to ease her way into the remaining conversation and the change of plans for the day. DeShondra wasn’t going to be happy, but this was important to her. Aisha was important to her and she needed to see her in the new role she’d taken on as the wife of Gabriel’s brother. More than anything, she wanted to make sure if Aisha was unhappy, she could leave.
“Ahh, Shondra, I have a slight change of plans,” she said softly. “I am going to leave this morning and head to Georgia to see Aisha.”
“Are you out of your gourd? Didn’t they tell you it was dangerous to go sniffing around them mountain folks! I swear, sometimes, you act like you don’t have the sense God gave a chicken. At least a chicken knows its job is to peck in the dirt and lay eggs.”
Cabrina lowered her head. “I’m not going alone. Gabe and I are going to rent a car and drive to Georgia, then spend a few days before driving on up to Ohio. He lives in Elyria,” she offered.
“Shut up! Shut the front door and call me Becky! You, of all people, are going to drive across country with a man you don’t know in a rented car, for damn near 40 hours. You got cabin fever driving for three hours with me to the beach,” DeShondra said.
“I got sick because you wear too much perfume, and the car was hot and smelled like feet and old French fries,” she countered.
“Don’t be dissing my car. I am a woman on the move plus this is not like you,” DeShondra said. “You had sex with him and now you are planning to drive across country. That must have been some mighty powerful loving.”
“It’s going to be our honeymoon,” Cabrina said in a hushed tone. Her cheeks grew red under the confession.
“Your what?” DeShondra asked, her head cocked to the side.
Cabrina pulled her left hand from her pocket to show off her new wedding rings. The diamonds glittered brightly on her finger, catching the light. DeShondra took a seat. Words had left her.
“See, what had happened was...we went to dinner at Cut, he was playing this game with me, pulling me into this sexy match of wits, and it was kind of fun,” she said, grinning. “After dinner, we went to the hypnotist show and got called on stage.”
Meticulously Cabrina recounted the evening. First, she explained that neither of them believed in hypnosis, and the man really didn’t put them under. “He asked Gabe if we were dating, and Gabe said yes, which kind of shocked me. Then the Great Ronzini, that was the hypnotist’s name, asked if we were in a committed relationship, and Gabe answered yes again. And here is where it gets all screwy. Ronzini asked what he was waiting for in order to make me his wife. That’s when Gabe got down on one knee and proposed. Right there on stage in front of a crowd of people,” Cabrina said, her cheeks pinking.
“Hold the hell up. I need some coffee,” DeShondra said, pouring half a mug for them both.
Next, Cabrina elaborated on the fake ring Ronzini gave Gabe to put on her finger. The showman also gave them a free ceremony at the Brighter Nights Wedding Chapel. She even explained that Ronzini had written down the password to break the hypnotic spell and stuck it in Gabe’s jeans pocket.
“Shondra, honestly, I went along with it to see how far he was going to take it, not knowing that we would end up as man and wife,” Cabrina said.
“Those are some pretty fancy rings. They must have maxed out his credit card,” DeShondra observed.
“No, we got these for $600 bucks at a pawn shop! Gabe said the stores in Vegas were overpriced for impulse buyers. The pawn shops are where to find the best deals in the city, and lo and behold, this set, we snagged these jewels for a fraction of the cost. I also found an interesting wedding band for him as well,” she said with pride.
“Well, whoop de damned doo for you two,” DeShondra said taking a large gulp of the coffee. “So, tell me. Did you get married by an Elvis?”
Cabrina blushed, as she rose from the chair to fetch her purse. She pulled from the contents a folder which held their wedding photos. The groom presented a dashing figure on film in his black tux and Cabrina was radiant in a full-length white gown, with a veil, baby’s breath in her hair, and a pretty bouquet full of pink fresh flowers.
“Wow, not too shabby,” DeShondra said eyeing the couple.
“The wedding ceremony was free, so we paid the extra $50 each to rent the gowns and tux,” she said smiling. “The minister was really nice, and Gabe insisted upon seeing his credentials before he did the ceremony.”
“Oh, how thorough of him,” DeShondra said snidely.
“Gabriel, hmm...he married his brother and Aisha. He is an ordained minister, and he wanted to make sure a man of the cloth married us and not some guy who got a certificate online,” she said proudly.
“You cannot, on any given Sunday in a Baptist Church standing on a stack of black Bibles, convince me, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that man with the come get some eyes is a minister. Of what church? What faith? Who ordained his sexy ass?”
“He actually went to divinity school,” she said, feeling a bit of pride in her handsome hunk of a hubby.
“You may want to pray for Jesus to do more than take the wheel while you are driving with that one. Cabrina! Really!”
“I know. I know, but there is this connection between us that is like sparkles on a unicorn’s butt when we touch. He’s smart, intelligent, and a heck of a lover, and I don’t know. Right now, I needed some light in my life, and even if it doesn’t work out, for a week, I get to have some fun. I need some fun, DeShondra,” she said, her eyes watering.
“Fun is screwing him then getting up and going on about your business. You could have had some fun without marrying the man!”
“DeShondra, this may sound strange, but I think I’m going to enjoy being his wife,” Cabrina said.
“That is until he pulls that piece of paper out of his pocket and reads what’s on it and wakes up from the dream love state you are in and says, Hell, no!” she retorted. As she spoke the words, the bedroom door opened, revealing a sleepy Gabriel, rubbing his eyes.
“Cabrina, is there enough coffee for me to take a swig and get my eyes open?” he asked. “Good morning, Ms. Leman.”
“I’ll pour you a cup,” Cabrina volunteered.
“Thank you, and good morning, my beautiful wife,” he said to Cabrina, kissing her on the mouth.
“Hey, magic kisser man, in your pants pocket is a piece of paper. Pull out the note and read it to me,” DeShondra said.
Long fingers slid into the front pockets of his jeans, pulling out a strip of yellow paper. Her unfolded it slowly, looking down at the word. “Hashtag,” Gabriel said, looking at DeShondra.
She clapped her hands in an aha moment, waiting for something to happen. Both he and Cabrina stared at her. She shrugged her shoulders in confusion.
“That word was supposed to bring you out of the hypnosis,” DeShondra told him.
“I wasn’t hypnotized. Were you, Cabrina?”
“No, I wasn’t,” she said.
“So, you are telling me, you two got married because you wanted to?”
“Yep, she is a babe and all mine,” he said, taking the cup handed to him. “Speaking of being all mine, we need to get moving so we can get on the road. DeShondra, do you need a lift to the airport or any assistance getting out of Vegas?’
“No, I got it. Y'all are actually just gonna leave me here...like I’m an old bad habit or something,” she said. Gabriel ignored DeShondra’s statement of the obvious, focusing his attention on his wife.
“Cabrina, is 45 minutes sufficient to meet me in the lobby?”
“Yes, that’s fine, Gabe,” she said to her husband. Husband. We are married. This is either going to be the worst decision or the best one of my life. She turned her attention to her friend after Gabriel left the room.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to duck out on you, but I want to see Aisha,” she said to her friend. “I will call you once we arrive in Georgia.”
“I can’t stand you sometimes. You brought me all the way out here and for what, so you could run off with a jack-legged preacher,” DeShondra said.
“Don’t give me that. You got what you came for, and then some,” she said.
“Girl, for that reason alone, you are forgiven. Hell, I kissed Isaiah before I even brushed my teeth this morning, that loving was so good. Hey, he is getting left here too. Maybe he and I can spend the rest of the weekend together,” she said, shimmying her shoulders.
For the first time in nearly a year, the worry in Cabrina’s eyes was gone. She’d fretted so much over Aisha that DeShondra felt Cabrina had lost a part of herself along with their friend. Today Cabrina seemed like a new woman, with a glow about her that DeShondra hadn’t noticed when she initially walked into the kitchen.
“Please don’t be upset with me,” Cabrina said, moving closer and laying her head on DeShondra’s shoulder like a wounded puppy.
“I’m not. It’s good to see some color in your cheeks and a smile on your face. Go, wash the love funk off you and meet your husband. Have a great time,” she said.
“I’m planning to,” Cabrina said, squeezing her friend. “Thanks for understanding.”
“I don’t understand none of this shit! Aisha blindly married his brother, you blindly married this dude, and I’m just fucking. I ain’t marrying no damned body,” DeShondra said emphatically. “I’m not under the spell of the Neary brothers.”
“Okay, you are planning to make those three babies bastards?”
“Girl, I am not about to ruin this figure with no babies. Go on, get out of here,” DeShondra said, looking at her phone. Isiah had given her his number. Feeling bold, she picked up the phone and called her bearded Romeo. The weekend was hers to enjoy, either in this suite or his.
Cabrina wasn’t the only one planning to have some fun.
****
GABRIEL RETURNED TO the hotel room he shared with his brother Isiah, whom he found sprawled out on the bed, barefoot, wearing only a pair of jeans. He’d seen that look before and knew it meant trouble in his baby brother’s head. In his estimation, the worst kind of trouble− of the female variety.
“Hey little brother,” Gabriel said, “how goes it?”
Isiah growled.
Gabriel tried again. “Rough night?”
“That would be an understatement,” he mumbled. “I was stupid and it is going to cost me.”
“Can’t be any worse than me. I got married,” Gabriel said.
This statement made Isiah sit up on the bed, red eyed and looking hung over. His brother had his full attention and he needed details. Gabriel was happy to supply him with the information on his wedding to Cabrina, the wedding night and the plan to drive to Georgia.
“Which means, I am going to have to leave you. The hotel room is paid through the weekend, so you can feel free to stay,” Gabriel offered as consolation.
“Why do I have to get left here? I didn’t even want to come,” Isiah said, almost pouting.
“You came because you saw the boodie on Ms. Leman,” he said. “How did that go?”
“It went too well,” he said somberly. “I honestly think that after last night, I just made that woman a mother.”
Gabriel scowled at Isiah. It was totally out of his little brother’s nature to practice risky behaviors no matter how attractive the woman had been and he needed to know more. Not the details, but the reason for him taking such a chance.
“Gabe, I kid you not, it was like my pipes had a clog and she was the drain cleaner. Imagine a bad scene from a porn movie,” he said sadly. “The bukkake kind of porn.”
“That’s nasty and I thought you had condoms,” Gabriel said.
“We did,’ Isiah replied. “I filled them up. I had DNA oozing out of them.”
“Them?”
“Yeah, we ran out of the six I brought and the last two times, my body was still insistent upon procreating with that woman. I could not get enough of her,” he said. “It was like a drug or something. Man, I know. I just know she is going to be carrying my baby.”
He sighed a bit, running his fingers across his beard. He was pondering a reason for his behavior and came up with the only logical solution. “The match maker woman is a witch!”
“How did we get there, Bleu?” He asked his younger brother, who had a penchant for bleu cheese and the only one of the brothers to have inherited their father’s blue eyes.
“You married. Me, the stud let out of the barn,” he said. “We had dinner and saw this show. The little glow in the dark pod people were making little glow in the dark pod babies. It was beautiful and made me horny as hell. The more I watched the more I couldn’t wait to get my hands on her. We started in the seats at the show.”
“Oh, okay then, Stud” Gabriel said. “Well, what’s your plan in the next few months?”
“She lives in Louisville, which means first, I need a house. Second, I have to put in for a transfer to get a desk job where rednecks aren’t shooting at me. Last, I need to get to know the lady better,” he said.
“Sounds like you have a plan,” Gabriel said. “You can start with this weekend. Is there anything you need me to do?”
“Yeah, look for me a farm house in Louisville, because based on how she’s dressed, she lives in some suburb with all the houses looking the same with four feet between her kitchen window and the neighbor’s bathroom. I can’t live like that,” Isiah replied.
“I’m on it,” Gabriel said. “I guess congrats are in order.”
“Oh shut up and just pray for me,” Isiah said.
That part was easy. He could do that for his brother, but first, he needed to pray for himself and his new marriage. It was his intention to make it work, but Cabrina had a set heart. The biggest type of fool was a stubborn one. His wife, in her opinions of others, were stubborn. Prayer can change things. He only hoped his would be instrumental in changing her heart.
