CHAPTER 12

STARTING A Q PLACE

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

MATTHEW 28:18-20

Who is to bring the knowledge that will answer life’s great questions to our world today? That would be you. If you are a follower of Jesus . . . you have a calling far more important than you may know.

JOHN ORTBERG

MY (MARY’S) FAMILY LIVED in Portola Valley, California, for nineteen years. During that time, Paul and I coached our three kids’ sports teams, volunteered in many school functions, and led several community groups. We knew a lot of people there. Most of them were not regular churchgoers.

In late 2001, I spoke to two of my Christian friends, Kristin and Judy, about the possibility of starting a spiritual discussion group for friends in our community. We started praying about whom to invite and when to start. Most of the people we considered inviting would have told you at the time that they were not actively seeking anything spiritual. They were more skeptics than seekers. But God placed them on our hearts as potential participants in our big experiment to have ongoing spiritual conversations with our friends.

We invited thirty women to come to my house to check out the possibility of a spiritual discussion group, which we described as “a nonthreatening place to have conversations about God.” Fourteen women came that first day, and they eventually brought friends. Each person who came back in the subsequent weeks and years has been profoundly touched by this life-changing experience, including me. I believe that God guided us through our discussions about faith-related issues, and as a result each person’s understanding of him deepened. Concurrently, we came to genuinely love and respect one another and had a ton of fun through these weekly authentic conversations about God.

Many participants had not known what it meant to be a Christian, even though they had grown up attending Catholic, Protestant, Christian Scientist, or Mormon churches. Others had no background at all in Christianity, describing themselves as agnostics, atheists, or New Age. It was a pretty diverse group!

One of the regular participants was Denise. She and I had become friends when she was a Brownie troop leader and I volunteered at the troop meetings each week. When I started this group, she was one of the first people I invited because I sensed that she was spiritually curious and I thought she’d trust me enough to check it out.

An attorney who worked part-time, Denise enjoyed our discussions so much that she regularly arranged her work schedule around our group meetings. After several months of discussing difficult faith questions and considering Scripture in our group, Denise stayed around to talk with me after one of our meetings. In the process of responding to one of the questions that day, I had briefly shared that I had a personal relationship with Jesus. Another participant had shared with the group that the previous week she had made a decision to become a Christian.

These comments were on Denise’s mind. She told me that even though she had gone to church most of her life, she didn’t think she had a relationship with Jesus, and she wanted to know how she could. I shared with her a simple way to invite Jesus into her life, and she chose to do so right there in my living room that day.

Denise was eager to share the good news about Jesus and invite others to explore faith the way that she had. Over the next few years, she brought several women to our group, including her sister-in-law, Monica. Monica had been struggling with infertility, and every week Denise asked our group to pray that Monica would conceive. When Monica did end up getting pregnant, she discovered she was going to have twins! Our group celebrated with a baby shower. Overwhelmed by the love and prayers of this group, Monica decided she also wanted to have a personal relationship with this God who had provided such a miracle.

Denise’s husband, Brad, was another person affected by her growing faith. In between our Tuesday group meetings, Denise shared with him what she was learning about God and the Bible. Before long, Denise and Brad were attending church again and getting fed spiritually. Two years later, at age forty-six, Brad was in a fatal ski accident. This was tragic for Denise and her family, but she was confident that a few months before he died, Brad had figured out what was true about Jesus and had made a decision to follow him. “While his death is devastating news to all of us, I am at peace knowing that Brad was finally on a spiritual path, getting to know Jesus, right before his death,” she said.

The previous chapters describe practices that equip you to engage in meaningful conversations about God. However, without intentionality to create an ongoing opportunity, your conversations may be hit-or-miss. In chapter 9 we looked at the value of small groups and facilitating them well. When safe, meaningful conversations get started, the most natural next step is to keep them going by gathering a group of spiritually curious people who are interested in learning more about God and what they believe. The result will be ripple effects in everyone’s lives. New disciples make more new disciples.

It’s All about Relationships

Greg Ogden, pastor and author of several books on disciples and leadership, says, “If the mantra regarding the value of real estate is ‘location, location, location,’ then the core ingredient in making disciples is ‘relationship, relationship, relationship.’”[89]

As Christ followers, we know that being a Christian is not about following rules but about having a relationship with Jesus because of what he did for us on the cross. Yet as we’ve discussed throughout the book, so often our approach to making new disciples misses that very point. Rather than being in a relationship with followers of Jesus who talk naturally about God, most people have experienced the gospel message as a one-time hit from a stranger or a download of information from a speaker—or they have never heard it at all. The ministry example that Jesus himself gave us is one of relationship—of pouring his time and energy into a small group of twelve. He prayed fervently in choosing his disciples, and over three years’ time he experienced life with them, engaged them in discussions, and challenged them to take action as well as to observe, think, and draw conclusions about who he was.

Jesus’ life contains an even more profound illustration of relationship that is readily taught as doctrine, yet so easy to miss in significance: the Trinity. Luke records the event at Jesus’ baptism: “While He was praying, heaven was opened, and the Holy Spirit descended upon Him in bodily form like a dove, and a voice came out of heaven, ‘You are My beloved Son, in You I am well-pleased’” (Luke 3:21-22, NASB).

In everything Jesus did during his earthly ministry, as well as throughout time and eternity, he was in a perfect relationship with the Father and the Holy Spirit. In the most perfect community ever, there are three persons, and each one is in constant fellowship with the other two. This divine triad is equal in all ways, equally expressing the fullness of the attributes of God—his love, grace, truth, holiness, and power. What can we learn from this beautiful illustration of a triad that is relevant to disciple making?

Finding Twelve through Three

When Jesus led his closest followers, he wasn’t acting independently but in perfect communion with the Father and the Holy Spirit. If we follow his example in making disciples, we’ll set out not by ourselves but with the community of a triad of like-minded believers.

No matter the strengths and weaknesses of individual facilitators, triad leadership fosters greater success and greater synergy through the power of partnership. The writer of the book of Ecclesiastes describes this power and highlights the unique advantages of three working together:

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. . . . A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10, 12, NLT

Any discussion of triads warrants considerable study of Greg Ogden’s work regarding making disciples a few at a time, which is the subtitle of his book Transforming Discipleship. Ogden addresses the assumption that the best biblical paradigm for making disciples is the Paul-Timothy model, with an older, wiser follower of Jesus making a disciple of a teachable younger person in a teacher-student or parent-child kind of relationship. Ogden maintains that this one-on-one relationship sets up a hierarchy that tends to result in a dependency of the disciple on the discipler, a false perfectionism on the part of the discipler, and too much primary influence on the new disciple that limits his or her development as a follower of Christ.[90]

Ogden proposes an alternative biblical model: a side-by-side relational approach to disciple making that reflects the nature of the Trinity and involves three people (or four at most). This shift from the hierarchical relationship of two to an “alongside” relational approach of a triad creates a “mutual journey” in which the focus is not on one discipler as much as it is upon Christ as the teacher through God’s Word and his Spirit.[91]

Ogden identifies several shifts that take place when three (or four) people work together rather than just two:

Ogden is careful to clarify that he is not attacking one-on-one mentoring relationships. In fact, he affirms the great value of three types of such relationships: spiritual director, coach, and sponsor. But as a primary strategy for discipleship, he sees triads as “hothouses” of Christian spiritual growth. Just as a hothouse maximizes the environmental conditions for living things to grow at an optimal rate, discipleship through triads can create a hothouse effect when specific “climatic conditions” are built into the relationship:

When a group of three followers of Jesus cultivates these conditions in their relationship, they grow together spiritually, and they have a community that can easily expand to include others who don’t yet have a relationship with Jesus.

Church planter Neil Cole has designed a similar strategy for “micro groups” of two to four that he calls “Life Transformation Groups” (LTGs). These groups place a high value on “accountability that consists of three essential disciplines for personal spiritual growth: a steady diet of Scripture, confession of sin, and prayer for others who need Christ.”[93] No experience or training is necessary to be in one of these groups, as they are highly organic.

Jesus also demonstrated this model of forming a smaller circle of disciples with a greater level of accountability, transparency, and sharing in the revelation of truth. As mentioned in chapter 9 of this book, Jesus prayerfully selected twelve individuals to follow him closely. He invested even more of himself in three men: Peter, James, and John. In one instance, related in Mark 9:1-12, Jesus took these three to be alone with him on a mountainside to witness the Transfiguration—to get a glimpse of Christ’s radiant glory and his interaction with Elijah and Moses! How amazing that must have been! And then the three were told not to tell anyone, including the other nine disciples, until after “the Son of Man had risen from the dead.”

From biblical example and also from personal experience, we believe that a powerful way to make disciples relationally is to start with a triad of three committed followers of Jesus who are transparent, accountable to each other, and centered in Scripture. When these three followers spend time in prayer together, grow together in the Word of God, and take action to serve others, they can select and walk alongside nine others in a small-group community to discover who Jesus is. This is what we are calling the Jesus 3:12 strategy. It’s modeled by Jesus, in community with the Trinity, walking alongside a handful of people and letting them see who he is. The strategy is simple but profound, and it’s easily reproducible.

It starts with three Christians we call initiators, who are willing to be discipled by Jesus as they walk with each other. He is still at the center of this group when they invite nine more to join them—people who are not yet ready to follow Jesus but are curious about him at some level. When the group of three Christians and nine non-Christians meet together, all twelve people can learn from one another in community by engaging in meaningful conversations about God and the Bible, even though they may not all believe the same thing. Because Jesus is at the center of the three initiators’ relationship, the nine are not only experiencing a trusting relationship with the three, but they are also seeing Jesus in them!

Launching the Jesus 3:12 strategy works best when church leaders follow the same principles themselves—forming a leadership triad to pray, grow, and serve, and then inviting nine Christians who are capable of developing these groups into a community where they can learn and discover together from each other, catching the vision of how this works.

Prayer Is Essential

When I (Mary) started a Q Place in the Northwest several years ago, I began by asking God who would be the two who could facilitate the group with me. I had several people in mind who I thought could do it, but I really wanted them to be God’s pick. Over a couple of months, two names consistently began to rise to the top: Krissy and Colin. Krissy was a good friend of mine who had a naturally compassionate heart for people. Colin was an associate pastor in my church. Both were familiar with Q Place. Once I was pretty sure that they were God’s choice for my triad, I asked whether they would be interested in starting a group with me for the spiritually curious. They both prayed about it and sensed that the Lord was leading them to try it.

The three of us began praying for people whom God had laid on our own hearts who might be open to coming. Soon, we were praying for about twenty people compiled from our three separate lists. Our hearts were knit together as we prayed for each other’s friends and for what God might be doing in their lives.

We also prayed that God would show us new friends who had questions about God. We encountered dozens of people every day who were not Christians. Had we taken the time to know their names or their stories? Which of them would benefit from ongoing spiritual discussions about God and the Bible? We knew the people most likely to accept an invitation were those who already knew and trusted us.

Without much extra effort, we started to get to know people who had come to our minds as we prayed together. For example, when I stopped for coffee in town, I made a point of meeting the couple who owned the café, and I started to learn some of their story. Tim had been in the army and stationed in Germany when he met his wife, Manuela. They had two kids and now lived in our town. He knew a lot about coffee before he launched the cafe, since he had worked for a local coffee roaster.

I was mindful of following Jesus as I encountered people in my everyday path. Before he called Peter and Andrew to follow him, Jesus related to them as fishermen, taking an interest in their work and even helping them catch a record number of fish (Luke 5:2-11). The miracle he performed in the great catch of fish was followed by an invitation given in terms that they would understand: “Follow Me, and I will make you become fishers of men” (Mark 1:17, NASB). I wanted any invitations I offered to come out of genuine relationships I’d developed with people.

In Luke 6:12 we read that Jesus went to a mountainside to pray all night, asking God to show him which of the men he knew would be his twelve disciples. No doubt he prayed for each individual one by one, and he may even have identified the closer relationship that he would have with Peter, James, and John. Not many of us would think to pray all night for our three and additional nine, but Jesus’ actions show us that identifying people to invite merits concentrated time in prayer to discern God’s will.

Getting Started

If you want to have ongoing discussions about God with people who are spiritually open and curious, you and your other triad members are the initiators of the process. To turn your initiative into action, set a date. Setting the start date adds a common focus for your triad, increases your passion for prayer and dependence on God, and provides accountability for following through with your plan.

You’ll have to resist the temptation to judge who will be interested when you are assembling a list of people to invite. As mentioned earlier, let God help you select the potential attendees through prayer and quiet listening to him. You might be surprised at who ends up attending that first gathering. God is going before you and softening people’s hearts to accept the invitation.

Make it clear to people that they are coming one time to hear about the possibility of a discussion group on spiritual topics about God and the Bible. In presenting the idea, emphasize some or all of these points taken from our book How to Start a Q Place:

  1. This group will discuss questions about God. People are respected as thinking adults and are not judged. No previous knowledge about God or the Bible is necessary.
  2. The group is not for experts. It’s for new discoveries. People who think they are experts are especially encouraged to listen and ask questions so that all group members can discover answers for themselves. Everyone is a learner.
  3. The format is informal discussion, not lecture. Questions on life, God, and the Bible can provide material for the discussion.
  4. People are encouraged to share their ideas honestly and openly.
  5. People learn as they express their discoveries. One person’s insights sharpen another’s understanding as the group discusses a topic together. Participation in the discussion increases. Interest grows. The focus is not on the leader but on the questions (and possibly the Bible passage) being discussed.
  6. It is helpful for the group to consist of people from different backgrounds who are willing to share their perspectives as the group learns together from each person.
  7. Most groups meet weekly for about an hour and a half. Some groups meet for a shorter period if there is a time limitation, such as a lunch hour at work or child-care constraints.[94]

After the initial meeting, a group typically is open to getting together for six to eight weeks. The group members decide on the topic they are most interested in discussing, which often stems from the questions people raised about God in the first meeting. When the group has completed a six- to eight-week session, they can decide whether to continue beyond that period. If people are benefiting from the discussions and a caring community has started to develop, they will want to keep meeting. Most people recognize the rarity of this kind of gathering.

Typically, the people you invite will have some fears about attending a group like this. Understanding potential concerns ahead of time will help you be empathetic as you extend an invitation. People are afraid to expose their ignorance and be judged. They don’t know what to expect, and they worry they’ll be stuck in a long-term commitment. If you have built trusting relationships with those you are inviting, some of these fears will be minimized or can be discussed openly as you invite them. It helps to ask open-ended questions to find out more about any concerns they express. Listen well to what they share and address their fears with short but clear answers.

Colin, Krissy, and I set a date, but we faced some challenges when we began inviting people to our newly forming group. I was relatively new to the area and didn’t have a lot of non-Christian friends. I didn’t know if the people I was thinking of asking would trust me enough to seriously consider my invitation. Colin worried that inviting his non-Christian friends would ruin or change the relationships he had with them. Krissy planned to invite a few friends from her workplace, and she was not only afraid to ask but also was concerned that asking would cause trouble with her job.

We prayed that God would make it easy for Krissy to extend invitations. One day she went to work knowing that the time had arrived for her to invite her friend Laurie. But as soon as Krissy arrived, Laurie came right up to her and asked if Krissy knew of a Bible study that she could join! Are you kidding? Krissy thought. Did God ever make it easy!

Laurie became one of our group’s most faithful participants. She had many questions and was eager to learn. The group meant so much to her, giving her a good understanding of what it meant to be a Christian and why it was important to study the Bible. With a growing foundation of what she believed about God, she attended her Catholic church with a new sense of purpose. I loved Laurie’s seeking heart. The prophet Jeremiah speaks on God’s behalf when he writes, “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me” (Jeremiah 29:12-13, MSG). Our invitation gave Laurie the chance to look for God. He was already at work in her life before Krissy invited her to join us.

Paul was another regular participant in our group, and he had not been on anyone’s list! Here’s what happened: Colin asked his friend Ed to join our group, and in turn, Ed invited Colin to a different event about a spiritual topic where Colin met Paul. Paul was interested in biblical prophecy and the Bible, but he wasn’t sure whether that meant he wanted a personal relationship with Jesus. After being part of our group, Paul is a now a strong believer who loves Jesus. He’d say he grew to love everyone in our group too. He also met his girlfriend, Anna, there—a huge added bonus!

Establishing Guidelines

When you begin to talk about spiritual matters with a diverse group of people, they are likely to be uneasy. People relax when there are clear ground rules that will guide the discussions, maintain a safe environment, and respect each person’s opinions and time.

Q Place guidelines have been developed and time-tested by thousands of small groups. They are printed in the back of every Q Place discussion guide and are also available on a separate guidelines card so that each participant in a Q Place can have them in hand for every discussion.[95] When initiators go through the guidelines together at the first meeting, they set the stage for everyone to understand the nature of the group and the tips for a healthy discussion. The guidelines help everyone feel from the beginning that the group will be a safe place for exploring the real questions they have about life, God, and the Bible.

Whenever a new person joins the group, it’s good to read the guidelines again with everyone. Over time, initiators can have the group self-evaluate, discuss areas for improvement, and encourage everyone to keep each other—including the initiators themselves—on track.

One of the basic guidelines is to begin and end on time. Another reminds everyone not to judge others. Each participant then knows that he or she can share a belief that won’t be criticized or immediately “fixed” by a well-meaning facilitator or participant. When there is acceptance and respect regardless of opinions shared, people can feel safe to express themselves honestly in the group discussions.

More Prayer

Did I mention that prayer is essential? I’ll say it again. Prayer is the foundational building block of any Q Place. From the beginning, prayer is needed to start an ongoing spiritual discussion group, and it will continue to be a necessary component as you meet because this is God’s work. He certainly invites you to participate with him, but as Jesus says in John 6:44-45, “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me.”

In the beginning of a group, prayer will not be visible to participants. It’s something that happens behind the scenes. It’s good to pray before the participants arrive, after they leave, and during the days between your meetings. At some point in time, when you sense it is appropriate, let the participants know that you and your co-initiators are willing to pray for them as they are willing to share prayer requests. You could keep a prayer journal in which someone from the group writes down requests. Toward the end of the meeting, before you conclude, you could ask the group if there are things about which they’d like prayer. Assure them that what they share is confidential. After prayer requests are shared, one of the initiators could briefly close in prayer, covering those requests, if your triad believes the group is ready for praying out loud.

Choosing Curriculum

We talked a lot in chapter 9 about the importance of being learner centered as we facilitate. But if the facilitators are not teaching during these ongoing discussions, then how will people learn and grow in their understanding of God? It may start with very simple, icebreaker-type questions that encourage people to share honest thoughts about life and to discover that the group really will be a nonthreatening place to explore what they believe.

When the group communicates specific needs or questions about God, you may suggest a topic that you could discuss together. Having a good discussion resource helps to support topical discussions. While you will find thousands of possibilities out there, not all of them use the inductive or asking approach, focused on the learner. Many Bible study resources are designed to show you the conclusions of the author of the study rather than to help you make discoveries and reach conclusions for yourself. Also, while there are many great books and great DVDs out there about God and the Bible, often the authors or teachers become the main text rather than the Bible itself.

Here are two helpful criteria for choosing discussion resources for your group:

  1. Is the curriculum inductive, promoting self-discovery by asking open-ended, discussion-producing questions?
  2. Does the curriculum point participants to the Bible and to Jesus?

Getting people into the Bible is the best vehicle for reaching the ultimate destination of knowing God completely through Jesus Christ. People are often ambivalent or even resistant to the Bible, but it’s the best source we have to understand God’s plan, purpose, and love for us. The greatest story of all time, the living Word of God can expose our need for him better than any Christian trying to “convert” someone. The author of Hebrews declares, “The word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).

Prayer is essential in your triad as you seek discernment about your group’s readiness to read Scripture together. Many people are not willing to look at Scripture when they first join a group; they are not sure it has something to say to them personally, and they are not convinced that it is true. In the trial meeting, where participants get a taste of what it would be like to discuss important questions of life, God, and the Bible, it usually works well to read a short section of Scripture and ask questions that help the group discuss it.

The trial meeting usually reveals the interest of the participants. Often groups just want to discuss their questions about God, and initially there isn’t a lot of reference to Scripture. It’s good to be careful. Rushing into something that participants are not ready to discuss is likely to reduce trust, causing them to feel that you have an agenda. As initiators are sensitive to the readiness of group participants, they can take Spirit-led risks to introduce Scripture into the group in a way that honors their level of openness.

It may start with reading a short section of Scripture printed on a sheet of paper, having copies for everyone to read and discuss, or pulling up a verse through an app like YouVersion. You could ask five simple questions of each passage:

  1. What does this reveal about God?
  2. What does this reveal about people?
  3. What else did you learn?
  4. If you believed this was true, how would you apply it in your life?
  5. If you put it into practice, what could be the challenges? What could be the benefits?

Later, if your group is ready to look at what the Bible says in more depth, together either choose a book of the Bible that is likely to answer the main questions the group is asking, or see what the Bible has to say about a topic the group has picked. If participants are curious about Jesus, study the Gospel of Mark, which is the shortest and simplest account of his life and teachings.

Scripture is a powerful tool for transforming the human heart. In 2011, Lifeway Research did a study to discover the common traits of disciples who were maturing in their faith. They surveyed one thousand pastors and four thousand Protestants in the US and Canada. The survey identified eight attributes of discipleship: (1) Bible engagement, (2) obeying God and denying self, (3) serving God and others, (4) sharing Christ, (5) exercising faith, (6) seeking God, (7) building relationships, and (8) being unashamed and transparent. They found that Bible engagement was the top attribute that affects one’s spiritual maturity—more than the rest of the seven discipleship attributes combined! Not only that, but growth in Bible engagement is correlated with growth in all seven of the other attributes.[96]

One thing is clear: As God leads, he will also use his Word in the lives of everyone in the group. In Isaiah 55:10-11 God declares:

As the rain and the snow

come down from heaven,

and do not return to it

without watering the earth

and making it bud and flourish,

so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

It will not return to me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire

and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Doubting and Drop-Off Is Normal

People living far from God may not be predictable when it comes to regular attendance and preparation for a group. That’s another reason prayer is so important; it protects participants from some of the normal distractions that could keep them from coming, and it protects initiators from discouragement.

In one of the final scenes the Bible shows us of Jesus with his disciples, we see them gathered on a mountain just before he ascends to heaven. Over the previous three years, Jesus had spent the majority of his time with these men. One of the Twelve had betrayed him. The remaining eleven had seen him die and then experienced the miracle of his resurrection. Yet in Matthew 28:17, we read astonishing words about these remaining eleven: “When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted.”

I am blown away that these guys who saw Jesus perform countless miracles, speak with more authority than anyone, and conquer death still had doubts that made them hesitant to worship Jesus. What’s more, although Jesus knew their doubts, he proceeded to commission them, with “all authority in heaven and on earth” backing him, to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit” (28:18-19). The good news about this passage is it reminds us that doubting doesn’t faze Jesus. It’s normal. Believers have doubts at times, and people who are on a journey of seeking God will have plenty of them too. Our job is to guide them toward unchanging truth as they seek to resolve those doubts in the context of caring community, where healing, love, and spiritual growth can flourish.

Power of Community and These Nine Arts

When Don Ross, the senior pastor at Creekside Church in the Seattle area, was introduced to The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations, they immediately resonated with him. He decided to try to incorporate the nine practices into his own life. In the middle of writing a book called The Turnaround Pastor, he decided to write at a local McDonald’s; it had free wi-fi and decent coffee at a reasonable price. And although he hadn’t been aware of this before or seen it as a need, McDonald’s was a place where he could meet people.

After sitting in the same spot almost every day for a few weeks, Don noticed a man who sat at the next table nearly every day he was there. At first all they did was nod a brief hello. Eventually Don learned the man’s name was Carl, and he started to regularly pray for Carl without knowing much about him. Before long the men had a brief conversation every time they saw each other, with Don asking Carl some questions and listening to what he shared. Carl had been married three times and had eleven women in his past. He’d been to jail and had battled alcoholism. Don had a common challenge with recovery from an addiction. Carl must have sensed that Don was relating well with him because at one point, Carl said, “I don’t know why I feel like I can tell you all this stuff!”

One day, Carl came into McDonald’s very upset as Don was on his way out. Carl said that his four-year-old grandson, Truin, was having open-heart surgery that day to repair two holes in his heart. He asked Don if he would mind praying for Truin, since Carl didn’t think he “had the right kind of pipeline to God.” So right there, near the trash cans outside of McDonald’s, Don said a short prayer for Carl’s little grandson. The next time Carl saw Don at their usual spot, he could hardly contain himself! He said that his grandson was fine now. Somehow the bottom hole in his heart had healed itself, and the top hole had been an easy fix for the surgeon. Carl said, “This prayer stuff really works!”

Pretty soon there was a community of guys—some of whom were homeless—gathering around Don at McDonald’s. Don gave them a booklet to read called “What on Earth Am I Here For?” by Rick Warren. He told them to underline everything they were curious about, and then they’d talk about it. During one of their conversations about the book, Don asked Carl if he was ready to start walking with Jesus. Carl said yes, and the two prayed together once again. After that, the two prayed together regularly.

A few of Carl’s friends who also had lived hard lives began to get sick and were dying. Carl wanted Don to visit them, but Don encouraged Carl to go instead and to share what he was learning about Jesus. One of these friends ended up praying to have a relationship with Jesus just before he died. Carl said he “could feel the Spirit of God moving through him” as he made these visits. Don describes Carl’s impact on his friends as a spiritual chain reaction.

When Don asked Carl how his life is different since they met, Carl said, “I used to feel so alone. But now I feel like I have a regular friend in Jesus who’s always with me. And I feel like I have a purpose in life with those around me.”

Don is now the Pacific Northwest regional director of the largest denomination in the Pacific Northwest, the Assemblies of God. Because of his experiences with Carl and his other McDonald’s friends, he has encouraged his network of nearly three hundred churches to practice The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations and start Q Places.

What challenges you about putting all of the 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations into practice? Can you begin praying about whom God would have you partner with to start a Q Place? We see that on average, about half of the people who join a Q Place end up placing their faith in Jesus as a result of their exploration of God and the Bible. If eight spiritually curious people joined a Q Place to discuss faith matters, that means that about four people could make a decision to follow Jesus through your initiative, enabling you to faithfully live out the Great Commission and make new disciples. What an impact for God’s Kingdom!

Discover

  1. Have you ever had the privilege of walking alongside someone on their faith journey? What impact did it have on your own faith?
  2. Review your list of people God is calling you to engage with in spiritual conversations. Who would benefit from a small group where they could figure out what they believe about God? Pray about developing a group and inviting those people.

Practice

  1. Talk to someone you know who is not a Christian but may be spiritually curious, and ask them what they think of this small-group concept. Would they ever consider becoming a participant? Why or why not?
  2. Host a movie night or a book discussion that would prompt some good spiritual discussion with a few good open-ended questions. What went well? What did you find challenging? How might this experience prepare you for starting a Q Place?