Jane

Jane sat in her car drumming her thumbs on the steering wheel, trying to work up the courage to venture into unfamiliar territory. The gym at the Sweethaven Community Center had never been a place she wanted to go, but the weather wasn’t cooperating with her plan to exercise outdoors. At least not until she’d built up some strength. How could she take off in the opposite direction of her house with no indication of how far she could go—especially with these frigid temperatures?

But sitting there, watching people come and go, looking like born athletes, Jane suddenly lost her nerve.

A knock on her car window startled her out of her self-pity.

She looked up and saw Meghan standing beside her window. “What are you doing out here?”

Jane sighed. “Trying to work up the nerve to go in.”

Meghan glanced at the door of the community center. “Come on. I’ll show you around.”

“Really?”

“Of course.” Meghan opened the car door and Jane got out. “You already look like you’ve lost some weight.”

Jane shrank at the compliment. “I’ve been too scared to get on the scale.”

They walked toward the front door of the community center. “I’m proud of you, Janie. You’re taking care of yourself. It’s nice to see.”

Jane smiled as they approached the front desk, but the good feelings vanished when they were met by a twentysomething Barbie doll in very tight clothes.

Heat rushed up to her cheeks and suddenly Jane realized how very much she didn’t belong there. Meghan must’ve sensed her apprehension because she grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to the counter. “You just sign your name here and pay Morgan.”

Jane glanced up at Morgan and forced a smile. The Barbie doll smiled back. “It’s your first time?”

Jane nodded and scribbled her name on the line below where Meghan had signed.

“I’d offer to take you on a tour, but you’re in good hands. Ms. Rhodes is one of our most faithful clients.” Jane could swear she heard a little bell ring at the sparkle of Morgan’s flashy smile.

Jane followed Meghan through the locker rooms and then out to the pool where her nostrils filled with the smell of chlorine.

“The lap pool is open all day, so you could try that if you want. And they have water aerobics classes.” Meghan motioned toward a row of old ladies bobbing up and down in the water following the lead of a fully clothed woman teaching them from the side of the pool.

“I think maybe a treadmill or something,” Jane said. She couldn’t imagine getting into a swimsuit every day.

Meghan laughed. “Water aerobics isn’t for everybody.”

They walked upstairs through the weight room and into the cardio room where a row of treadmills and other similar machines stared at her.

“Why don’t we try the elliptical?” Meghan grabbed a magazine and Jane did the same.

Two sweat-tinged women on stair-stepping machines watched as Jane followed behind Meghan. Probably wondering what such a big person was doing at the gym. Again, she had to force herself not to run for the door.

Meghan hopped up on one of the elliptical machines—a cross between a stair stepper and a treadmill and far more intimidating than either.

Jane stood beside her machine and stared at it. “I don’t know about this, Meg.”

“Look, it’s easy.” Meghan flipped on the machine, clicked around on its digital face, adjusting the settings until finally she had thirty minutes on the timer. Meghan’s legs started moving in a gliding motion, like she was running without lifting her feet off the ground.

Jane set her bottle of water in the drink holder and climbed up onto the machine. Scared to mess up the settings, she concentrated on the timer and started moving her legs.

After five minutes, she was dripping sweat. On one side of her, Meghan was coasting along, and on the other side, a muscular guy ran four-minute miles on the treadmill. Jane caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and met the eyes of a woman across the room on a stationary bike.

She’s probably timing me to see how long I last.

She’s probably waiting for me to have a heart attack.

“Jane?” Meghan’s voice pulled her from her self-deprecation.

“Yeah?”

“You’ve got it on the highest resistance.”

“What?” Jane looked down at the settings. “I don’t know what that means.”

“Ten is the hardest.” Meghan reached over and clicked a downward facing arrow to the number two. “Try that for a little while.”

Suddenly, Jane’s legs felt like Jell-O, but the ease of resistance made a huge difference. She still didn’t last the entire thirty minutes, but at least it was a start.

“I’m going into the weight room,” Meghan said when their half hour was up.

“I think I’m done for the day,” Jane said, wiping sweat from her forehead.

“You did so well today, Janie. Really,” Meghan said with a smile. “Just coming here is half the battle.”

Jane responded with a weak smile. She looked at the woman across the gym. Would she ever stop feeling so inadequate?