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WHEN I REACH Home, I'm an emotional wreck. After the mission with Isaiah, I feel like I want to lay down and sleep forever.
If only I could sleep. To be honest, sleep is pretty high on the list of things I miss. There was nothing better than burrowing under my blankets and losing myself for awhile. Alyx and I do have beds, but they're a little pointless. You can get cozy in them, but sleep never happens. And it hurts. It's like having permanent insomnia.
When I enter my room, I expect to find Alyx. Instead, I find Jophiel, and he's laying in my bed.
I rub my eyes to make sure I'm not dreaming. If I'm the student, and Jophiel's like the principal, it makes sense that he would want to check my progress. But you know what doesn't make sense? The fact that he's in my bed. I think he just threw our professional relationship out the window.
God, he looks even more gorgeous than usual. His golden hair is adorably windswept, his shirt is half-unbuttoned, and his many freckles are practically begging for kisses. Should I be having these thoughts about an angel? No, probably not. But I have no shame.
“Leigh!” Jophiel exclaims as he rises from bed. “I've been waiting on you for awhile. I hope you don't mind that I made myself comfortable?”
“Uh... no.” I'm telling the truth. I really don't mind. But it's still a little weird. “Where's Alyx?”
“Your roommate is finishing up her mission. Or rather... failing at her mission,” Jophiel's lips dip into a frown as he updates me. As he stalks around the room, his eyes pass over the many Regal Crimson posters. Alyx has basically wallpapered our room in them. “I think you need a new roommate, Leigh. You need someone a little less immature. You need someone who's on the same level as you. You need a...” Before he finishes, his downturned lips flip into a grin. “You need a kindred spirit, so to speak.”
“Maybe,” I halfheartedly agree. “I like Alyx, though.”
“You might like her, but she's nothing like you. I'm concerned for her. Alyx needs a reason to care. That's why she took her own life in the mortals' world. She's never had a reason to care, so she seeks out menial pleasures to fill the holes in her heart.” When Jophiel stops walking, he's standing right next to me. “But enough about Alyx! I'd rather talk about you, Leigh. For such a young spirit, you're very levelheaded and wise.”
“Thanks.” I try to match his grin. “That was supposed to be a compliment, right? You're not trying to say I'm boring or anything?”
“No.” Jophiel chuckles at my question. “Not at all. Actually, you're far from boring. I like to be around you.”
Jophiel's words are killing me. His British accent is killing me. He smells like mint, and that's killing me too. Archangel Jophiel is giving me a slow second death. This unconscionably beautiful man is standing in my bedroom, and I somehow haven't swooned.
“If I could, I would even join you on your missions,” Jophiel continues. “Taishi Nakamura is a lucky man.”
“You, uh...” When I try to talk, my words temporarily die in my throat. His close proximity is making it difficult to speak. “You can't accompany me on missions?”
“No. Unfortunately, angels aren't allowed to assist their students. They aren't supposed to, anyway. And they aren't allowed to be biased... even though I am.”
“So... you like me more than Alyx?” I ask the question and hold my breath.
Jophiel's answer almost puts me in a heavenly grave. “I like you more than anyone, dear.”
Wow. What am I supposed to say now? How am I supposed to reply to that? “That's quite a bias, then. I didn't realize you liked me that much.”
“Well... I do.” Jophiel suddenly spins away from me. Now that I'm looking at his back, I'm wondering what he would look like with wings. “And I... I shouldn't have said that.”
“No!” I practically shout at him. “I like that you said it. I, uh... I really like you too, Jophiel.” The word like doesn't even begin to describe the extent of my feelings. It's too weak and too sweet. Lust would be more appropriate.
“Do you?” When he faces my direction again, I realize he's blushing too. Even his ears are a little bit red, which is beyond adorable. “I don't know how to explain it, Leigh. As soon as I saw you in the back of the classroom, struggling to manifest a banana, I knew you were special. I was drawn to you. I wanted to see you succeed, and I wanted to see a smile on your face.”
Everything about this entire moment is unbelievable. There aren't enough words to express how completely and utterly shocked I am. I've been crushing on Jophiel since moment one, and I had no idea he was crushing on me too. This is surreal. If I could still sleep, I would think I was dreaming.
Jophiel's unbelievable speech continues. “I was drawn to the sweetness of your character. I was fascinated by your purity. It's been a long time since I've felt this way about anyone.”
“Really?” After all that, all I can manage is a one-word answer. I probably sound like an idiot.
“I've been celibate for three thousand years.”
My jaw drops at his unexpected confession. “Really?”
“Yes.” Jophiel's answer is accompanied by a chuckle—and it's a nervous chuckle. “I made a vow to myself a long time ago. I never wanted to succumb to the carnal parts of my nature. Many angels make this vow.”
For a third time in a row, all I can say is “Really?” My loss for words is seriously frustrating.
“What I feel for you... hasn't happened to me in centuries. I can't stop thinking about you, Leigh. I don't want to stop thinking about you.”
I can't stop thinking about you either. That's what I want to say, but my tongue is truly tied. Besides, for some weird reason, Taishi's face keeps flashing into my mind.
“Have I shocked you?” Jophiel asks. “Perhaps I've said too much?”
“No, I'm glad you said all this.” If I was even a little bit brave, I would reach for his hand right now. “Honestly, Jophiel, I feel exactly the same way.”
“Ugh! You're terrible, Leigh! You're an awful, awful girl. You're really testing me!” He playfully throws up a fist. “I don't want to break my vow of celibacy, but you're making it very difficult.”
Of course, I want him to break it, but there's no way I could tell him that.
“If I can't stand it...” As he speaks, Jophiel sweeps a lock of my hair behind my ear. “If I absolutely cannot hold out... would you mind if I indulged myself in a kiss?”
“I think I could live with that.” My answer is perfect. It's slightly witty and a little bit flirty.
“That's good to know. But for now, I should really drag myself away.” Jophiel slides to the door, putting an end to our perfect moment.
I still can't believe it actually happened. I can't believe he was standing in front of me, confessing his feelings. I always thought Jophiel was totally unattainable.
Apparently, I was wrong.