BY ARIEL BUTTERS
Copyright © by Ariel Butters. All rights reserved. Published with permission from the author. Inquiries concerning rights should be addressed to Ariel Butters at ArielLynnButters@gmail.com.
Premiered October 6, 2011 | Swain Hall, Studio 6 Theatre, UNC Department of Communication |Directed by Paul Ferguson
Original cast members are in brackets.
EVELYN LARDER 15, female. Just released from a psychiatric hospital [Melanie Johnson].
DIANE LARDER 40s, female. Evelyn’s mother [Jennifer Stander].
BOB LARDER 40s, male. Evelyn’s father [Estes Tarver].
CARTER LARDER 21, male. Evelyn’s brother [Scott Vicari].
WAITER 30s, male [Colin Warren Hicks].
HOMELESS MAN 50s, male [Korde Tuttle].
CRISCO The homeless man’s small dog [Phoebe].
Present. Inside a car, suburban dining room, inside and outside a restaurant.
On the two front seats of a CAR. DIANE LARDER is driving with her daughter, EVELYN. Diane is upbeat, but Evelyn is sullen, stares ahead.
DIANE Daddy totally reseeded the lawn, y’know. You won’t even recognize the yard.
[Diane looks at her daughter and smiles, waiting for a response that she does not get.]
DIANE Carter’s so excited you’re coming home. It’s crazy to think he hasn’t seen you since he left at the beginning of the semester. He thinks about you all the time, though.
[Diane pats Evelyn’s leg. She stares ahead, motionless.]
DIANE [excitedly] Oh! And, we got you a new bed. . . . on a whim this morning, at the mall with Carter. Dr. Jonas says that sleeping soundly is the first step to success, so we picked out the most successful-looking one we could find.
[Beat. Diane strokes her daughter’s hair and smiles. Evelyn says nothing.]
END OF SCENE
BOB, Evelyn’s father, sits at the dining table. Diane and Evelyn ENTER.
DIANE We’re home! Carter, we’re home! Beautiful day out, perfect day for our baby to come home.
BOB [to Evelyn] Sure is. Hey, kiddo, how’s it going?
[Evelyn sits down next to him at the table. She reaches for a stray section of the paper.]
DIANE Evelyn, we have dinner reservations at Margaux’s tonight. It only seems fit that we celebrate your recovery at your favorite restaurant.
BOB [without looking up] They’ve got great sole piccata.
DIANE They do, they most certainly do. [yelling off] Carter, your sister’s home! Come see your sister! Evelyn, I swear your friends have just been calling off the hook. I made a list of everyone, the date they called, their numbers, and if they asked anything specific. I taped it right here by the phone. They’ve missed you so much! Can I get you anything, baby? A soda? Toast?
[Evelyn looks up from her paper. She RISES and prepares herself a glass of water. While she’s pouring from the pitcher, her brother, CARTER, BOUNDS IN.]
CARTER Evelyn! What’s up, little sis?
[He picks her up off the ground into a bear hug, spilling her water. She frowns and glares at him. He ruffles her hair. She shrinks away from his touch.]
CARTER [offended] What, you’re not talking to me?
DIANE Carter! Don’t be rude to your sister. She doesn’t have to talk if she doesn’t want to.
[Carter throws up his hands in confusion. Evelyn returns to her newspaper.]
DIANE [to Carter] Help me bring in Evelyn’s new bed from the garage?
[Diane EXITS in a hurry. Carter glares disapprovingly at his unresponsive sister as he answers.]
CARTER Sure, Mom.
[He EXITS stage right. Immediately after he EXITS, Bob SIGHS.]
BOB [reading the newspaper pensively] Let’s see what Betty and Veronica are up to this week.
[Evelyn lowers her paper to look at her father. She is silent but attentive.]
BOB [reading as he goes] Betty says, “Veronica, what color is your prom dress?” Veronica says, “I’m not telling you, Betty,” and Betty says, “But if we have the same color prom dress, I’ll just have to. . . . ”
[Bob cuts the final words off and clears his throat, quickly changing the subject. Evelyn stares at him.]
BOB [rambling uncomfortably] Never mind, I think I read that one last week. The comics these days, they’re really lacking. I heard there might even be a comic strike. You know what, I bet that’s why they reprinted this one. They didn’t have any new material because the artists are on strike.
[Sensing her father’s discomfort, Evelyn reaches a hand across the table to cover his. He looks up at her.]
BOB I’m sorry, baby. It was distasteful, that’s why I stopped reading it. Nothing funny about it. They’d think differently about the situation if they’d been through the roller coaster we have.
DIANE [offstage] EVELYN!
[Diane ENTERS]
DIANE Evelyn, could you help your brother with this behemoth of a bed? I really don’t think I’m spry enough, and you know your father has a bad back. I’m sorry to make you lug your own gift, but I don’t see how else we’re going to get it in the house. Bob, could you help bring in all the bedding and extra pieces from the car? I still haven’t unloaded them and it will be at least a few trips.
[Bob, Evelyn, and Diane all EXIT. Carter is heard SHOUTING.]
CARTER [offstage] Okay, move right. Wait, no, my right. Your left. Okay. Do you have a good grip?
[Carter and Evelyn slowly ENTER, haphazardly carrying a massive bed, mattress, and frame together. Carter leads by walking backward. Evelyn ENTERS a few paces behind.]
CARTER [getting angry] Could you at least, like, nod your head or something? I’m trying to communicate here. I’m dropping this side. Pick it up.
[Evelyn is clearly struggling to hold up the bed. She grimaces and glares at her brother.]
CARTER [raising his voice] No, the other side, Evie! Do you have it or not? God, just grunt or something!
[Evelyn fumbles for the correct side and ends up dropping the bed on Carter’s foot. He CRIES OUT in pain. She EXITS in a hurry. Diane ENTERS.]
DIANE [peppy] How’s it going, guys? It’s a big thing, huh? So pretty, though, with the headboard, and it looks really. . . . [realizing things have gone awry] Where’s Evelyn?
CARTER She dropped the bed on me and ran away! Geez, I think she could have broken my toe.
DIANE She obviously didn’t mean to drop the bed.
CARTER You know what, Mom, I don’t know what she means because she’s not using any words!
DIANE [shaking head] Dr. Jonas said she’d start talking as soon as she got in a comfortable. . . .
[Carter gestures for Diane to be quiet as Evelyn ENTERS, carrying a plastic bag filled with ice.]
DIANE [upbeat] Oh, Evelyn! How nice of you! Here, Carter, put this on your foot. [to Evelyn] Dinner reservations are in an hour, baby. Why don’t you go get ready?
[Evelyn obediently trots off stage.]
END OF SCENE
An upscale restaurant. All four family members are seated at a table.
DIANE Evelyn, you know your brother has been working on a community project in New Haven that focuses on teens battling depression.
CARTER [ grumbling] Yeah, except they actually talk.
DIANE Carter! This celebration is for your sister, who has had a very difficult year. Now please just can the sass for one night so we can at least pretend to be normal.
[A WAITER enters, carrying plates of food.]
WAITER [to Carter] Braised chicken with grilled kale. [to Bob] Sole piccata.
[The Waiter takes a deep breath before handing Diane her food.]
WAITER Sole piccata, minus the sole plus the halibut, with asparagus instead of capers and a lemon-free sauce.
[He hands Evelyn a plate.]
WAITER This is what you were pointing to, right?
[Evelyn smiles and nods. The waiter EXITS politely. Before even looking at her own dish, Diane cranes her neck curiously over the table to see what her daughter has ordered.]
DIANE [sweetly] Filet mignon? Oh, sweetie, you can’t eat that. Here, let me get the waiter back, and we’ll get you something better.
CARTER Why can’t she eat that?
DIANE [under her breath] No sharp objects.
CARTER [laughing heartily] What, like she’s just going to stab herself in the middle of the restaurant? [realization] Oh my God, you took away all of our steak knives, didn’t you? When did you even do that?
DIANE [ignoring Carter; to Evelyn] Sweetie, you’re going to have to eat that with a butter knife.
[Evelyn SUDDENLY RISES and searches the table, finding no knife.]
DIANE Evelyn, honey, I had them taken away, there’s none here on the table.
[Evelyn indignantly STOMPS OVER to a dining cart.]
DIANE Evie, now just where are you going? Don’t be mad, honey, it’s for your own safety.
[Evelyn pulls a steak knife out of the tray and triumphantly holds it above her head.]
DIANE Evelyn, what are you doing? That is so rude, Evelyn, please just come back to your. . . .
[Evelyn returns to the table and points the knife angrily at her mother, who GASPS loudly.]
DIANE Evelyn! This is so embarrassing.
[Evelyn calmly returns to her seat and begins cutting up her food.]
DIANE Honestly, Evelyn, was that really necessary? You could have just asked for a steak knife.
BOB Why would she have asked? It’s not like you would have given it to her.
DIANE Well, of course I would have.
BOB What, so depriving her of everyday objects is some sort of punishment for not talking? Like you’ll reward her with the object she needs if she just uses words?
CARTER Dude, I totally thought she was just going to stab herself in the middle of the restaurant.
DIANE Bob, would you please stop putting words in my mouth? I am just trying to do what’s best for Evelyn.
BOB No, you’re not, you’re trying to do what it takes to sweep our problems under the rug and pretend like nothing ever happened. And I don’t have to put words in your mouth because there are enough of them spilling out all of the time anyway!
DIANE Robert! You know what, this was a terrible idea. We weren’t ready for this.
CARTER So, you want to leave or something?
BOB Doubtful. Leaving before eating would cause a scene. As if we haven’t already.
DIANE Bob, I am really hurt by the way you’re speaking to me right now.
[Suddenly, Evelyn LAUNCHES FROM HER CHAIR and EXITS. Diane calls after her.]
DIANE Are you going to the bathroom, sweetie? Okay! Good luck! Be careful! I’ll come check on you in a little while!
[Diane lowers her voice to speak with her son and husband.]
DIANE Goodness, she’s sucked down so many Cokes, I’m not surprised she has to pee this early through the meal. And in such a rush.
[They return to their meals.]
END OF SCENE
The street outside the restaurant. Evelyn EXITS to find a HOMELESS MAN SINGING “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.” She lets out an exasperated sigh and then plops down next to him and his small DOG.
HOMELESS MAN Well, hello there. I don’t suppose you’re here to give me money. Usually people who do just throw it and run. You want a smoke or something? I just finished my last one. You got a smoke or something?
[Evelyn shakes her head.]
HOMELESS MAN Not talking, huh? That’s okay, you can just sit and keep me company.
[Evelyn smiles at the man. She is at ease in his presence.]
HOMELESS MAN You don’t talk, but do you sing? I like to sing.
[He breaks out again into his SONG for a moment. Evelyn leans forward to pat the dog.]
HOMELESS MAN That’s Crisco. I named her that ’cause I found her in an alley licking the inside of a Crisco can. See that wound on her leg? Last week some mangy mutt got a hold of her. Some guy, I guess a vet or something, gave me some gauze and alcohol, but he said the bite looked bad. Do you think it looks bad? Crisco’s my best friend. I don’t want anything to happen to her, but it’s not like I can pay a vet bill. What do you think I should do?
DIANE [RUSHES OUT, panicked] EVELYN! EVELYN! Oh my God, EVELYN!
[Carter and Bob FOLLOW.]
DIANE [ furious] EVELYN! What the hell are you doing out here? You told us you were going to the bathroom! No, wait, you didn’t tell us, because you’re not talking. You know, we’re really doing the best we can here, but it would be really fucking nice if you could throw us a bone or something. It’s not like I took some special parenting class on emotionally unstable adolescent girls that’s supposed to help me handle this. I don’t know what to do as much as anyone else does, so. . . .
BOB [interrupting] Diane, please, would you just shut up? For once, SHUT UP!
[A startled Diane shuts down. For the first time, there is LONG, GLORIOUS SILENCE. Evelyn continues to pet Crisco the dog. Then. . . . ]
EVELYN [to the Homeless Man] I think all she needs is time to heal.
[The Homeless Man nods in agreement. The family looks on listening. . . . just listening.]
FADE TO BLACK
END OF PLAY