Chapter Twenty-Three

Sera

After being asked not to wander the halls of the base, I was directed outside, where I settled beneath a large pine tree. I was on overload. I just needed a minute—or a lifetime—to think.

I knew I had to have been Ava. But to hear G call me that, to listen as he admitted to knowing about my life, that had been devastating. I wrapped my arms around myself and fought back the urge to vomit. Deep down, a part of me thought the scars were self-inflicted. But thinking and knowing were so incredibly different. To consider that my life had been so unbearable that I’d tried to opt out made me queasy. It churned the acid in my belly and made my head spin with even more questions than I’d had before.

Despite all of that, a part of me understood why G had kept it from me. Understood and sympathized. I didn’t remember how he’d treated me when he first got to Infinity. I didn’t recall the harsh words. But it all made sense. Sick, twisted sense. He’d gotten to know me. To care about me. And when the time came, and he had the ability to wipe the horrors of my life away, he’d taken it. Could I honestly say that I wouldn’t have done the same thing for him? If I had the opportunity to wipe his slate clean, I would take it in a heartbeat.

I knew I should be mad that he’d lied. That I should fear the person he’d been—because he’d never lost it. That person, unlike the person I was, wasn’t gone. He’d tried to bury him, but that heartless soldier would always be there, would always haunt him. But just because that person was still with him didn’t mean he hadn’t changed. A heartless man wouldn’t have cared about someone else. He wouldn’t have tried to keep me from learning the truth. His motives weren’t selfish. They were pure. Misguided and foolish, but pure.

I was up and moving before I really even understood what I was doing. My feet carried me forward, and I asked for directions as I went, eventually ending up at the science building, in front of the lab next door to Cora Anderson’s.

I knocked twice, then pushed it open. “Hello?”

He was inside, standing across the room and bent over a long work table. His hair was shaggy, long in the back and on the sides, and was dyed a dark blue. When he turned and our eyes met, my gray to his dark brown, a wave of panic washed over me, and I had to force my feet to move me into the room.

“Hi. I, uh, sorry to bother you, but I’m—”

His eyes were wide, and his lips parted just slightly. Poor guy looked like he’d seen a ghost. “Ava…”

“Sera, actually.” Another step forward. I could do this. For G… “I’m—”

“Right! Right, sorry. Sorry. You just look so much like her.” He tugged at the longer strands of hair on his head. “Ya know, with longer hair and stuff. And the still breathing part…”

“I’m really sorry to bother you.” One more step. My heart was racing, and goose bumps had popped up all over my skin. “I was hoping to ask you a favor.”

He cocked his head to the side, then squinted. “Sure. What did you—are you okay?” I must have been doing a shit job of hiding it because he stood there, obviously confused by my reaction. “You look ready to pass out.”

When he made a move to grab me—more than likely to help me to the chair beside his desk—I jerked away violently. I didn’t remember him. Not really. It was more like a hazy feeling. His voice was the ghost that had haunted my nightmares, his watery face one of the many devils that danced in my head. Now that I knew, now that I understood why the sight of Phil MaKaden turned my blood cold, it was hard not to see him as he’d been in my old life. “Don’t. I’m okay.”

He looked stricken, and in that moment, I believed what Cade had said about him. This Rabbit was kind. He wasn’t like mine.

“Have they told you? About what’s going on?”

He nodded, still watching me. His moves were slower now, though. Softer and more controlled. As he walked across to pull over a chair, he kept his eyes on me. “They gave me the rundown. What did you need?”

“The poison killing G—virus, actually—it’s made from my blood. We thought your Dylan had the antidote, but apparently he’s hidden it.”

“And he won’t tell you where.”

“No.” I held out my arm. “Do you think you can…”

“I know they’d planned on trying to cook up an antidote.”

I nodded. Good. That was good. But planned wasn’t good enough. Waiting wouldn’t work. We didn’t have time. “Can you—”

He frowned. “Not sure what other mes you’ve seen, but here I’m a tech guy.” His smile brightened. “Pretty rockin’ one, too. But medic stuff? Not my bag.”

My arm fell slack at my side.

“I can draw the blood, though. Get it to someone in the lab and put a jump on it. That work?”

A spark of hope ignited in my chest. “I can’t tell you how happy that would make me.”

He nodded and slid off his stool, rummaging around in a cabinet before approaching slowly. When he reached me, he said, “May I?”

I nodded, and he went to work. “You knew me, huh?”

I swallowed as he tied off the rubber strip and ran the sterilizing wipe across the inside of my arm. “That’s not an easy answer.”

“Right. They messed with your head, yeah?”

“Yeah.” The needle was uncapped.

“But you remember something about me. Not something good, I take it?”

“Not something good,” I confirmed.

He slid the needle in, and I cringed—but there was no pain. Unlike the millions of times Cora had jabbed me, quick and heartless, Rabbit was careful and tender. Nothing like my fuzzy memories of the cruel man who’d viewed me as property.

“That kinda sucks, ya know? I’m not a bad guy. Have a few bad habits…” He lifted his free hand to his lips and made an inhaling motion with a boyish grin. “But I’m really not a monster. Not here, anyway. Drag to know there’s a dick version of me running around out there.”

He withdrew the needle and taped a piece of cotton to my arm. I forced a smile. “I’m sure there’s more good than bad.”

He smiled. “I’d bet my hands on it.” He fidgeted with the needle a moment before setting it down. “I, uh, can take a peek into your head if you want. Ya know, since you’re here?”

“Peek into my—”

He tapped the side of his head. “You’re the one with the chip, right? Or is that your friend as well?”

Oh my God. It hadn’t even occurred to me to ask him about the chip. I’d been so worried about G…

“They were planning to give me a crack at it, anyway,” he rushed on when I hadn’t answered. “Long as you’re okay with it, that is.”

“Yes!” I realized I sounded like an overenthusiastic child. “I mean, that would be great. Thank you.”

His entire face lit up. “Killer! This is the shit I live for.” He clapped his hands and kind of jumped. “I’ve been tinkering with chips lately, with Cora’s help, and I think we’re moving in the direction of the ones the guys have now.”

He patted a large chair on the other side of the room. He had an odd-looking tube in his hand, with red lights and a small keypad.

“Is this going to hurt?”

He waved the tube-thing. “Nah. This bad boy will just give me a general reading. Chip power, where exactly they have it embedded. Just some basics. You won’t feel a thing. Promise.”

I nodded and settled into the chair…and waited. Rabbit moved the device back and forth, over the top of my head, down the sides, and around in a circle. He had an odd look on his face, which worried me, but I didn’t ask. Knowing Cora, I didn’t want to know. Maybe she had the thing booby-trapped.

For ten minutes, he skimmed his device back and forth, up and down, all without saying a word. There were a lot of hmms and huhs—even an ahh…but no words.

Finally, when I couldn’t stand it anymore, I said, “Are those sounds of joy or anger?”

He set the device down and straddled the chair across from me. “Well, I guess that depends on your point of view. From mine, it sucks salty balls. From yours, it’s probably more of a cute kitten playing with those balls.”

“So, that means…?”

“There’s no chip in there, Sera. Your head is empty. I mean, not empty. Your brain is in there. Fluid and goop, too, but nothing manmade is floating around inside.”

“That’s impossible. Couldn’t your machine have just missed it? The last of Cora’s tech was a little more advanced, right?” I didn’t want to insult him, but he had to be wrong. There was no way the whole chip story was…a lie.

Oh my God…

Rabbit shook his head and grabbed the tube thing, flinging it up into the air, then catching it again and giving it a good wiggle. “Designed this baby myself. Trust me, your head is clean.”

I jumped from the chair and whirled around, almost knocking Rabbit backward. “I have to go!”

He fumbled and called out an apology for whatever slight he thought I was fleeing from, but I ignored it and burst from the building.