Training and practice[I]f I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.
EMILY DICKINSON
When preparing to heal yourself or another, all of the philosophical questions about healing turn into a quest for healing. The quest is one of activating and bringing to the surface that underlying wholeness. So what is the key to this activation?
What I have usually found is that the real shifts—whether they are physical, emotional, relational, or another type—begin once the client is able to accept some level of self-responsibility. If we’re engaged in self-healing, the shifts usually begin to happen when we ourselves accept some level of self-responsibility. In either case, we must understand that self-responsibility is not about self-blaming. We must avoid the trap of “I caused a problem.” The root cause of the problem might be genetic, or stemming from a childhood trauma, or spurred on by an accident. Even if our wounds were self-inflicted, what I have seen in working with many thousands of individuals is that we usually didn’t know better at the time.
One of the most empowering perceptions we can hold is the assumption of wholeness rather than guilt. If we are a practitioner, this attitude sets the resonance for healing to take place. If we are a client, it is the precursor to deciding not to wait for someone else to do the healing for us. When we stop blaming ourselves, a healing shift in consciousness can get underway.
For practitioners, understanding the significance of self-responsibility marks the beginning of true empathy. In working with others, it is important to understand that pain is sometimes the doorway for change. Even if the urge to swoop in and “save” someone bubbles up, we must instead acknowledge that the other will not change (in the way their soul may intend) unless they, not us, take responsibility for owning the healing process, while remembering that ownership has nothing to do with self-recrimination. If we are our own client, we must simultaneously assume responsibility for our own issues and be kind to ourselves.
We can’t fix another’s dilemmas, nor can we assume responsibility for their outcomes. What we can assume responsibility for is how we work with them. We can assume responsibility for our integrity, attitude, knowledge base, and commitment to do our best.
Paradoxically, showing up strong, clear, and competent as practitioners is what allows us to get out of the way and allow the healing current to flow. In truth, the healing is done by something bigger than us. Whether we relate to that power as a force beyond us or simply as the greater part of ourselves, the impact of subtle energy is anything but subtle. In some way, all healing is a miracle—a big or small miracle.
When we’re in the role of client or patient working with a practitioner, or when we’re acting as our own self-healer, doing our part and welcoming self-responsibility eventually comes down to specific and tangible behaviors. For example, if I have some weight to lose, Spirit will come in to help me, but I have to do my part and not eat the cake. If I’m working on myself, I have to differentiate between fantasy and reality. There might be a miracle available, but I’m only setting myself up for disappointment if I expect overnight success.
As subtle-energy healers, one of the key ways we commit to the healing process is to set reasonable goals, both for ourselves and with our clients. This always starts with being aware of what is actually within our own control. Our job is to take care of the following:
Training and practice
Knowledge and understanding
Perception and attitude
Intention and commitment
Self-care and encouraging self-care in others
Beyond that, energy will do what energy is going to do. In my own practice, I have been reminded again and again that subtle energy is extraordinarily powerful. Our goals must be set based on what we can define and move toward. And as we open the doorway to the potency of subtle energy, more may actually happen than what we, or our clients, anticipate. In that regard, we always have the wonderful opportunity to be open to the miracle at the heart of all healing, while keeping our feet grounded in the world of the utterly practical.
Early in my career, I thought that I had failed if a client dealing with a life-threatening illness wasn’t miraculously and instantly healed. (No pressure there, right?) I remember working with a woman who had stage-four cancer. One of our first sessions together was so powerful that both of us left the room thinking that the cancer would be gone by the next day. And yet it wasn’t. There was improvement with her cancer right away, but I distinctly remember the feeling of wanting it to be entirely cured overnight. It turned out to be an eye-opening moment in my career. Although I’m happy to report that this client did eventually heal completely, it was the gradual improvements she made along the way—and the unpredictable timing of the healing process—that were some of my greatest teachers.
Working with subtle energy, we don’t know what is going to improve or when. I once worked with a woman who had lung cancer. Although her cancer didn’t disappear overnight either, she discovered that she had actually grown taller after our first few sessions together! Her spine had actually straightened out. She also found herself experiencing moments of inexplicable joy, even in the midst of dealing with cancer. These disparate and unpredictable signs of healing perhaps pointed to a rebalancing that was taking place on different levels, as her cancer eventually went into complete remission.
What makes working with subtle energy so uncanny is that you don’t really know what is going to shift or what is going to cause the shift. For instance, I have found that sometimes subtle energy medicine enabled clients’ healing by making their allopathic treatments more effective. This is an example of why managing our expectations as subtle energy practitioners is inestimably important. The energy work may not be the method that heals a client, but it may enable them to be receptive to a conventional treatment protocol—and markedly more peaceful while going through it.
As subtle energy practitioners, we concentrate on what we can do—what we can work with. But we can’t make promises. Energy has a life of its own. Again, working with the subtle body may allow surgery to go more smoothly, or it may facilitate an openness that helps someone to embrace their emotions. It might also connect a client to their inner wisdom, allowing them to approach their situation with greater equanimity, confidence, or clarity.
As subtle energy practitioners, we cannot legally diagnose an illness or condition; that must be left to licensed healthcare professionals. Even licensed practitioners who integrate subtle energy work into their practices can’t precisely diagnose when working within the realm of the subtle body. For example, a doctor of Oriental medicine (an OMD) might assess that your Liver meridian is stagnant, but they can’t say, “You have liver cancer, and here is the protocol that will get rid of it.” Also, they cannot say that they can cure cancer. The OMD must accept the limitations of working with subtle energies.
As subtle energy practitioners, we just can’t make promises to our clients, but we have something even better, and stronger, than promises: we have commitments. So rather than making promises, we can start by making a commitment to managing ourselves—managing our own internal process (which might include processing our beliefs, agendas, and projections, as well as tending to our energetic boundaries, for starters), and managing the practices and protocols we use with our clients. There is no guarantee what the outcomes will be and what our tools and techniques will do for others. The results may be less than what we, or our clients, are hoping for, or the results may be more. In any case, by understanding and acknowledging the nature of subtle energy medicine, we are better able to get out of the way and let the healing take its course in whatever way the energy chooses.
Rather than diagnose, subtle energy healers utilize their training and skills to accomplish the following:
Accurately analyzing what is occurring in the subtle realms
Remaining flexible about how to work with the subtle energies—about which tools and techniques to draw upon
Working in collaboration with clients to set reasonable goals
If you, as a subtle energy practitioner, are (1) grounded in the importance of self-responsibility (yours and your client’s), (2) focused on the imbalance or challenge that has presented itself, and (3) clear about the tools and techniques you are going to proceed with, it is time to set goals with your client.
Whether you are working on your own self-healing or with a client, it is important to set reasonable goals. Rather than setting yourself up to fail by creating potentially grandiose goals (where the progress isn’t good enough or big enough), set yourself up to win. In determining your goals, I recommend “taking AIM”—in other words, basing each of your goals on the following criteria:
Is this goal achievable?
Is this goal important?
Is this goal measurable?
Taking AIM is a practical and effective way to approach goals for healing on every level, be it physical, emotional, spiritual, relational, psychological, or mental. For example, on the relational level, you might be working with your client to set goals for their intimate relationship with their spouse or how they conduct themselves socially. Mentally, goals might be focused on their belief system, their thinking process, or how to express what they have learned. Or, on the psychological level, goals could be focused on inner-child work or the deep issues involved with becoming a healthier and more integrated human being, such as identifying the interpretations and perceptions that are having the greatest impact on their health and life.
I believe that progress is being made when we see some measurable success in any of these core areas. In other words, if your client is experiencing progress in any part of their life, you are being effective.
However, you also don’t want to see a slip in any of those areas, which is one of the reasons that goal-setting is so valuable. Setting achievable, important, and measurable goals will prove to be one of the best tools in your subtle energy medicine bag, which we will continue to add to chapter by chapter.
The following two-page worksheet can be used when you are beginning to work with a new client or when you reach a new healing phase with an existing client. If you are performing self-healing, you can change the pronouns and use the worksheet to evaluate and set healing goals for yourself. Obtaining a more objective viewpoint will only benefit you.
The third page is a separate worksheet that you can use to remind clients of key steps they’ve agreed to take outside of your session work with them.
Step 1: Clarifying the presenting problem
Write down your initial understanding of your client’s presenting problem.
Step 2: Assessing the bigger picture
Interview your client to discover their level of satisfaction, fulfillment, or happiness within each of the primary areas of life, with 0 being no satisfaction and 5 being high satisfaction.
| Body/health | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Business/career | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Money and financial wellbeing | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Friendship/community | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Family life | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Home/physical environment | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Love/romance/partnership | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Fun/recreation | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Spirituality/personal growth | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Purpose/meaning/contribution | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
Step 3: Identifying top priorities and objectives
Based on the information gathered in Step 1 and Step 2, what are your client’s top one to three priorities in their healing work with you? What matters most to them right now and in the future? List these priorities in order of the importance your client has expressed:
1.
2.
3.
Step 4: Taking AIM—setting achievable, important, and measurable goals
Goal #1:
Timeframe:
In-session plan (techniques, tools, processes):
At-home plan (specific action steps, regular activities, processes):
Goal #2:
Timeframe: In-session plan (techniques, tools, processes):
At-home plan (specific action steps, regular activities, processes):
Goal #3:
Timeframe: In-session plan (techniques, tools, processes):
At-home plan (specific action steps, regular activities, processes):
Step 5: Marking your progress
Based on the number of sessions you and your client agree to do together, assess and track their progress with each stated goal during each session. Here is a basic template for marking and staying mindful of their progress.
Goal #1/Session #2
Measurable change:
Client action(s) taken:
Client’s level of satisfaction on the 0 to 5 scale: 0 1 2 3 4 5
Measurable change:
Client action(s) taken:
Client’s level of satisfaction on the 0 to 5 scale: 0 1 2 3 4 5
Goal #1/Session #4
Measurable change:
Client action(s) taken:
Client’s level of satisfaction on the 0 to 5 scale: 0 1 2 3 4 5
Practitioner Notes
Client’s at-home assignments for health and wellbeing
| Date assigned: | Date assigned: | Date assigned: |
| Activity or action step: | Activity or action step: | Activity or action step: |
This is what I (the client) am agreeing to do:
Date assigned:
Activity or action step:
Next session date and time:
Date assigned:
Activity or action step:
Next session date and time:
Date assigned:
Activity or action step:
Next session date and time: