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Tamryn hadn’t known it was possible to feel so good with someone else. She’d touched herself before, curious about the hidden places on her body and wondering what was so special about the marriage bed. It had felt nice and she’d reached her peak, but it was nothing like the energy and desire she felt with Nolan.
She hadn’t been cautioned to save herself for marriage like the humans of her time, as that hadn’t been the dragons’ way, but she also hadn’t figured out what was so great about intercourse, anyway.
Now she had a pretty good idea of what lay in store for her, and she was eager.
Nolan grinned at her while they took apart her tent, and she smiled back. They were out in the forest, worried about being caught by someone called Bronson while they tried to find Tamryn’s fiancé, and yet she was happy. Was that what orgasms did to people?
No, a voice said in her head. That was love.
But it was a love that wasn’t allowed.
She had to marry Charles and continue the dragon line.
Jubilee stood nearby on her skinny fawn legs, nibbling some grass. As if sensing Tamryn’s attention of her, she looked up and twitched her ears. The expression on her face was slightly disdainful, as if she didn’t approve of what Tamryn had done.
Tamryn smiled at her. Whether or not she had the deer’s approval, she had no regrets about what she and Nolan had done.
Nolan hadn’t allowed her to return the favor of granting an orgasm. After Tamryn had stopped shaking from her own, he’d sweetly kissed her lips and told her they should think about getting a move on.
So, there was a single regret, then: Tamryn regretted that they couldn’t remain in her tent, sharing orgasms all day long.
The wind whipped her hair around her face and she quickly wove it into a braid. The sun was making a feeble attempt to warm them, but the wind kept snatching away the heat. Even little Jubilee looked cold, and she wore a fur coat.
“Maybe we should wait here for Illary,” Tamryn said. “It would be terrible to keep traveling if she’s trying to catch up with us.”
Nolan gave her a look and fastened the tent pouch. “We’re supposed to find Charles.”
“I know, but maybe we could wait a day, possibly two. That way if Illary is trying to reach us, she’ll have a better chance.”
“It would give Bronson and his men a better chance to reach us, as well. We can’t risk it.”
Tamryn bit her lip. She could argue until she ran out of breath, but it wouldn’t change the fact that Nolan was right. She was merely stalling. Illary would catch up with them if and when she wanted to. In the meantime, they should continue on their quest.
And so they would continue, even though her heart was insisting that she spend more time with Nolan. This giant bear shifter had stolen her affections without even trying, it seemed.
“We’ll get rain today,” Nolan said as he hoisted his pack to his shoulders. “Maybe snow. We should walk as far as we can before it happens.”
“Snow, in August?”
“Not that uncommon around here,” he said. “Elevation is high enough, so an early storm could bring it.”
He seemed thoughtful as he walked, and she could sense an air of regret surrounding him. The feeling persisted even though she tried to ignore it, and she hoped that with every hour they hiked, he might get over the sour heaviness tingeing his aura. Jubilee’s playful leaps over small rocks and her distractions with random bits of vegetation seemed to help, at least.
They came to another stream. Nolan yanked off his boots and socks and rolled up his pants.
Tamryn bent over to tug off one of her boots, but Nolan darted to her side. She felt his strong arms behind her. The world twisted and spun as he picked her up.
“Nolan!” she yelled—surprised, but also giddy.
“You’re not getting cold like this anymore,” he said.
She nuzzled his neck as he carried her upstream. Jubilee pranced alongside them from bank to bank, occasionally pausing to drink.
No denying Nolan was strong, just as strong as a dragon shifter. Her backpack dug into her back, and he also wore his pack, along with carrying her. That was quite a lot of extra weight. And he wasn’t even out of breath.
Looking up, she saw dark clouds gathering over the top of the mountain. “Should we find shelter somewhere?”
“Nah. If you’re up to keep going, I think we should continue.”
She didn’t want to go anywhere, but she had a duty to her people. “Of course. Let’s go.”
He stepped out of the stream and set her down. The way was uphill, and the storm battered their backs. Her hair, freeing itself from its braid, whipped around her face. Sometimes, they walked at a slant to give their tired legs a break.
The fawn had lost some of her playfulness, as if understanding the seriousness of their quest. Or perhaps the cold had made her as miserable as Tamryn.
Tamryn remembered a nursery rhyme her mother used to sing to her. She’d sit cuddled in her mother’s lap when she was small and sleepy, and the queen would make up little melodies and rhymes, just for Tamryn.
The cold wind blows
And we shall have snow
And what will the dragons do then?
They’ll light up with fire
And circle the spires
And soar through the sky on jeweled wings.
“What are you humming?” Nolan asked, startling Tamryn out of her memories.
“A nursery rhyme that my mother used to sing,” Tamryn said.
“I know it,” Nolan said, and sang, “The white flames dance, bringing romance, and warming the coldest of things.”
Tamryn gaped at him. His face was the same as always, his gray eyes open and honest.
“How do you know that?” she asked.
He shrugged.
“No, you must answer me, because this is impossible. My mother invented that little song. For me. She started with an existing rhyme and built it into a song for dragons. No one else should know it.”
“I dreamed it,” he said simply.
Impossible. Tamryn didn’t know what to say, other than to repeat what she’d just spoken, and that wasn’t helpful. He had dreamed it? She walked ahead, vaguely conscious of his progress behind her as they made their way up the mountain. Jubilee walked at her side, dark eyes huge and watchful. Tamryn didn’t know how to look at Nolan, or what to believe.
“I learn things in dreams sometimes,” he said, his voice soft as if he was afraid of startling her and the fawn. “My father was a dream-walker. You’ve heard of dream-walkers, haven’t you?”
“Yes.” Tamryn had heard of them through stories; they were a band of witch shifters, particularly dangerous because of their ability to manipulate minds. They had been hunted almost as much as dragon shifters.
“I don’t have his abilities, but my brother does. Still, I know things sometimes, and I hear them. I’ll wake up with a thought in my head. Or, like the night before you came out of the sphere, a song.”
“That song in particular?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
He was quiet, but she sensed more beyond what he’d said. Thunder rumbled in the distance, and Tamryn wondered just how strong of a storm they were about to face.
“Can you direct the dream-walking at all?” she asked after a long moment. The sound of their steps was drowned by the wind blowing around them, and she had to raise her voice to be heard over the gale.
“No. If I could...” He trailed off.
That sadness she’d sensed in him before was back, stronger than ever.
“Do you think you could have stopped something bad that happened?” she asked, turning to look at him.
He gazed back at her. “Yes.”
A series of raindrops fell on her head and neck. She looked around and listened. Drops pelted the vegetation, driven harder and colder by the wind.
“Come on,” he said. “We’ll find a place to make camp.”
She imagined discovering a nice dry cavern somewhere and sitting out the storm with Nolan. Maybe they’d set out their sleeping bags and “play” some more, like they had in her tent this morning. Maybe they would do more than play, although she was happy with what they’d done.
A shadowed crevice in the rock ahead looked like it could be a cavern. The steep incline had flattened out somewhat, and her exhausted legs were grateful. She aimed herself at the rocky face and dragged herself forward.
Her foot caught on something and her ankle twisted. Jubilee leaped back, startled, as Tamryn fell to the ground. She caught herself with her hands. Sharp pain radiated from her wrists and palms. Her ankle ached like it had been wrenched the wrong way.
“Hey, I’ve got you,” Nolan said, lifting her up.
She couldn’t put weight on her twisted ankle. The rain pelted them, stronger than ever, and thunder rumbled, louder than it had been moments ago.
“The sooner we’re under cover, the better,” Nolan muttered.
“I thought I saw a cave ahead,” Tamryn said. “I couldn’t be sure, though.”
Keeping a hand on Tamryn, Nolan squinted through the falling rain to where she pointed. “I think you’re right.”
He scooped her up and carried her to the shadowed rock, Jubilee keeping pace at his side. The hollow wasn’t a large enough cavern to lie down in, but they could sit and lean against the rock along with Jubilee, and the overhang would keep most of the rain off of them.
She felt warm in his arms, protected. She hadn’t truly felt safe in so long, and this was the closest thing to safety and security.
The desire to cling to him was strong, and she wondered how he would react if she refused to let go of him. But she allowed him to set her on the cold ground. She shivered. He rummaged in his pack until he found a sleeping bag, which he unfolded and lay across the driest part of the hollow. He gestured for Tamryn to scoot onto it, so she did, and then he finished laying it out where she’d been sitting. Jubilee at once came to Tamryn’s side and curled against her leg.
This wasn’t as good as resting in his arms, but it beat the cold ground. “Thank you,” Tamryn said.
“You’re welcome. Let’s take a look at your foot.”
Before she could move, he’d pulled her leg into his lap.
Nolan untied Tamryn’s laces and eased off her boot. She bit her lip against the pain.
Feeling along her ankle and heel, he gently applied pressure. “Does this hurt?”
“Not terribly.”
“I don’t think anything is broken,” he said.
“All right.”
“You know, if you shifted into your dragon, it would heal faster.”
She shook her head. “I can’t.”
After a pause, he said, “That doesn’t sound true to me.”
“It is. I can’t do it.”
“Can’t, or won’t?”
She pursed her lips, trying to think. Can’t. It was can’t. She physically could not shift into her dragon.
But if she could, would she do it?
“Both?” she said. “I can’t, and I won’t.”
Instead of reacting with impatience, as Illary had been doing before she disappeared, Nolan held her injured foot in his lap and gave her a gentle smile. “Care to tell me why?”
She took a deep breath. “Have you ever been hunted?”
“No,” he said. “Can’t say that I have.”
Flashes of her childhood and adolescence bombarded her mind. She struggled to focus only on one thing at a time. “My people have been hunted since before my grandparents were born. Other shifters learned that they could use the magic in a dragon’s skin, and they began hunting us for that power. They force a shift, then peel the skin from our bodies.”
Nolan was quiet, although his eyes blazed. She wondered at the raw anger pulsing through him.
“Is everything all right?” she asked.
“Just mad that people would do that, is all,” he said.
“Yes. It’s unspeakably awful.” She twisted her fingers in her lap before pointing to her face. “My burn scar is from my father defending us. I was very small, and we were walking in the forest near our castle. Skin-hunters came upon us unexpectedly. My father shifted and breathed fire. I didn’t get away quite in time.”
The wind howled, gusts sending unexpected raindrops into her face. She blinked them away.
“My father felt terrible, of course. But we escaped those skin-hunters and the others didn’t return to our territory for a long time. My mother told me that I was safe. She said that I didn’t have my dragon form yet, and so the bad people wouldn’t hurt me. It was a child’s understanding of a difficult concept, but I wasn’t the only dragon shifter to take the lesson to heart.”
“I’m not sure what you mean,” Nolan said softly.
“There were others. Friends, courtiers, allies in other countries. Quite a few of us decided not to take our dragon forms, even when we were old enough to do so.”
“The change doesn’t force itself on you?” Nolan asked, his eyebrows raised.
“No...is it different for you?”
“For me and everyone I know. Involuntary shifts, around the time puberty hits.”
Tamryn couldn’t imagine how hard that would be. She knew her dragon was within her, but the dragon wouldn’t appear until Tamryn allowed it.
And even then, it seemed her dragon was hiding from her.
Or she was hiding her dragon.
She buried her face in her hands. “I’m a coward.”
“No.” He tugged her against him and she pressed her face into his shoulder instead of her palms. He felt so alive, so warm and real. “You’re not a coward, Tamryn. You’re brave.”
It was hard to believe, but he made her want to believe. He made her want to be brave.
This man, who she’d met only a few days prior, made her want to be better.