Chapter 3

I WENT TO SLEEP that evening convinced that the Peaches letter and the Gillsworth letter had been written on the same machine, if not by the same miscreant. But what the snatching of a cranky cat had to do with a murderous threat against a poet’s wife, the deponent kneweth not.

I awoke the next morning full of p. and v., eager to devote a day to detecting and sorry I lacked a meerschaum pipe and deerstalker cap. Unfortunately I also awoke an hour late, and by the time I traipsed downstairs my father had left for the office in his Lexus and mother and Ursi had taken the Ford to go provisioning. Jamie Olson was seated in the kitchen, slurping from a mug of black coffee.

We exchanged matutinal greetings, and Jamie—our houseman and Ursi’s husband—asked if I wanted a “solid” breakfast. Jamie is a septuagenarian with a teenager’s appetite. His idea of a “solid” breakfast is four eggs over with home fries, pork sausages, a deck of rye toast, and a quart of black coffee—with maybe a dram of aquavit added for flavor. I settled for a glass of OJ, buttered bagel, and a cup of his coffee—strong enough to numb one’s tonsils.

“Jamie,” I said, sitting across the table from him, “do you know Leon Medallion, the Willigans’ butler?”

“Uh-huh,” he said.

Our Swedish-born houseman was so laconic he made Gary Cooper sound like a chatterbox. But Jamie had an encyclopedic knowledge of local scandals—past, present, and those likely to occur. Most of his information came from the corps of Palm Beach servants, who enjoyed trading tidbits of gossip about their employers. It was partial recompense for tedious hours spent shining the master’s polo boots or polishing milady’s gems.

“You ever hear anything freaky about Leon?” I asked. “Like he might be inclined to pinch a few pennies from Mrs. Willigan’s purse or perhaps take a kickback from their butcher?”

“Nope.”

“How about the cook and the maid? Also straight?”

Jamie nodded.

“I know Harry Willigan strays from the hearth,” I said. “Everyone knows that. What about his missus? Does she ever kick over the traces?”

The houseman slowly packed and lighted his pipe, an old discolored briar, the stem wound with adhesive tape. “Mebbe,” he said. “I heard some hints.”

“Well, if you learn anything definite, pass it along to me, please. Their cat’s been swiped.”

“I know.”

“Have you heard anything about the Gillsworths, the poet and his wife?”

“She’s got the money,” Jamie said.

“That I know.”

“And she’s tight. He’s on an allowance.”

“What about their personal lives? Either or both seeking recreation elsewhere?”

“Haven’t heard.”

“Ask around, will you?” I urged. “Just in a casual way.”

“Uh-huh,” Jamie said. “The Miata could use a good wash. Get the salt off. You going to be around this morning?”

“No,” I said, “I have to hit the road. But I should be back late this afternoon. I’d appreciate it if you could get to it then.”

“Sure,” he said and accepted with a nod the tenner I slipped him. I wasn’t supposed to do that, and my father would be outraged if he knew. But Jamie and I understood the pourboire was for the information he provided, not a domestic chore. The Olsons were amply paid for managing the McNally household.

I drove southward to the Willigans’ hacienda. That ominous message sent to Lydia Gillsworth had given new urgency to my search for Peaches’ abductors. It didn’t seem incredible to me that the two cases might be connected; I had learned to accept the bizarreness of life.

Leon Medallion opened the door to my ring, and if it wasn’t so early in the morning I would have sworn the fellow was smashed. His pale blue eyes were bleary and his greeting was slurred, as if he had breakfasted on a beaker of the old nasty.

He must have seen my astonishment because he said, “I ain’t hammered, Mr. McNally. I got my allergies back again. I been sneezing up a storm and now I’m stuffed with antihistamines.”

“So it wasn’t the cat after all?”

“I guess not,” he said mournfully. “But this place has enough molds and pollens to keep my peepers leaking for the rest of my life. You find Peaches?”

“Not yet, Leon. That’s why I stopped by—to talk to you and the rest of the staff. Is Mrs. Willigan home?”

“Nah, she took off about a half-hour ago.”

“And Miss Trumble?”

“In the pool doing her laps. The woman’s a bloomin’ fish. You want to talk to all us peons together?”

“Might as well,” I said. “No use repeating the same questions three times.”

We assembled in the big kitchen: Leon; Ruby Jackson, the cook-housekeeper; the maid, Julie Blessington; and me. Ruby was a tiny, oldish woman who looked too frail to hammer a scaloppine of veal. Julie was younger, larger, and exceedingly plain. Trust Laverne not to employ a skivvy who might light her husband’s fuse.

I questioned the three of them for about twenty minutes and got precisely nowhere. Only Julie and Leon had been in the house the afternoon Peaches disappeared. They swore the back door of the screened patio had been securely closed. There were no holes in the screening through which the cat might have vamoosed.

None of the three had seen strangers hanging about recently. No one lurking in the shrubbery; nothing like that. And none could even hazard a guess as to who might have shanghaied Peaches. They all testified to Harry Willigan’s mad infatuation for his pet and hinted they’d all be happy to endure the permanent loss of that irascible feline. I could understand that.

I hadn’t expected to learn anything new and I didn’t. I thanked them for their cooperation and wandered out to the back lawn. Meg Trumble was still slicing back and forth in the pool, wearing the shiny black maillot that looked like a body painting. She saw me approach, paused to wave, then continued her disciplined swim. I moved a sling chair into the shade and waited.

She finished her workout in about five minutes. I loved the way she got out of the pool. No ladder for her. She simply placed her hands flat on the tiled coping and in one rhythmic surge heaved up and out, a bent leg raised for a foothold. It was a joy to see, and I never could have done it in a million years.

She came padding to me across the lawn, dripping and using her palms to scrape water from hair, face, arms. “Good morning, Archy,” she said, smiling. “Isn’t it a lovely day?”

“Scrumptious,” I said, staring at her admiringly. She really was an artfully constructed young lady. “Would you care to have dinner with me tonight?”

“What?” she said, startled.

“Dinner. Tonight. You. Me.”

“I don’t—” she said, confused. “I shouldn’t—I better—Perhaps if—”

I waited patiently.

“May I pay my own way?” she asked finally.

“Keep talking that way,” I said, “and you’ll be asked to resign from the female sex. No, you may not pay your own way. I’m inviting you to have dinner with me. Ergo, you will be my guest.”

“All right,” she said faintly. “What shall I wear?”

I was able to repress the reply that came immediately to mind. “Something informal,” I said instead. “A flannel muumuu in a Black Watch tartan might be nice.”

“Are you insane?” she said.

“Totally,” I assured her. “Pick you up around seven.”

I left hastily before she had second thoughts. I walked through the house, down that long corridor lined with antique weapons. They made me wonder if someone might, at that very moment, be taking a scimitar to Peaches. I do believe the plight of that offensive beast was beginning to concern me.

I exited and closed the front door behind me. Took two strides toward the Miata and stopped. Turned around and rang the bell again. Eventually the butler reappeared.

“Sorry to bother you, Leon,” I said, “but a question occurred to me that I neglected to ask before. Was Peaches ever taken to the vet?”

“Oh sure,” he said. “Once a year for her shots, but more often than that for a bath and to have her teeth and ears cleaned. And once when she got a tapeworm.”

“How was she taken? Do you have a carrier—one of those suitcase things with air holes and maybe wire mesh at one end?”

“Yeah, we got a carrier.”

“Could I take a look at it, please?”

“I’ll dig it out,” he said and departed, leaving me standing in the foyer.

I waited. And waited. And waited. It must have been at least ten minutes before he returned. He looked flummoxed.

“Can’t find the damned thing,” he reported. “It’s always been kept in the utility room, but it’s not there now. It’s probably around here somewhere.”

“Sure it is,” I said, knowing it wasn’t. “Give me a call when you find it, will you.”

I drove officeward, not pondering so much on the significance of the missing cat carrier as wondering what inspired me to ask about it in the first place. Frequently, during the course of an investigation, I get these utterly meshuga ideas. Most of them turn out to be Looney Tunes, but occasionally they lead to something important. I had a creepy feeling this particular brainstorm would prove a winner.

My office in the McNally Building had the spaciousness and ambience of a split-level coffin. I suspected my father had condemned me to that closet to prove to the other employees there was no nepotism in his establishment. But allowing me one miserable window would hardly be evidence of filial favoritism, would it? All I had was an air-conditioning vent.

So it was understandable that I rarely occupied my cubby, using it mainly as a message drop. On those rare occasions when I was forced to write a business letter, my father’s private secretary, Mrs. Trelawney, typed it for me and provided a stamp. She also informed me when my salary check was available, the dear lady.

On that morning a telephone message placed precisely in the middle of my pristine desk blotter requested that I call Mrs. Lydia Gillsworth. I lighted and smoked my first cigarette of the day while planning what I might say to a woman who had received a dreadful prediction of her doom.

Actually, when I phoned, she could not have been more gracious and lighthearted. She inquired as to my health and that of my parents. She expressed regret that she did not see the McNallys more often. She said she had brought a small Eyelash begonia back from Rhode Island especially for my mother, and as soon as it recovered from jet lag, she would send it over. I thanked her.

“Now then, Archy,” she said, “Roderick says you’d like to talk to me about that silly letter I received.”

“If I may, please,” I said. “I really don’t think it should be taken lightly.”

“Much ado about nothing,” she said firmly. “People who mail letters like that exhaust all their hostility by writing. They never do anything.”

“I would like to believe you’re correct, Mrs. Gillsworth,” I said. “But surely it will do no harm if I look into it a bit.”

“Rod said you thought the police should be consulted. I will not allow that. I don’t wish this matter to become public knowledge and perhaps find its way into the tabloids.”

She spoke so decisively that I knew it would be hopeless to plead with her, but I reckoned her command could be finessed. I have sometimes been called “devious”; I much prefer “adroit.” It calls up the image of a skilled fencer and a murmured “Touché.”

“No police,” I agreed. “Just a private, low-key investigation.”

“Very well then,” she said. “Can you come over at two o’clock this afternoon?”

“With pleasure,” I said. “Thank you.”

“And I’ll take another look at the Eyelash begonia,” she added. “If it seems fit to travel, perhaps you can carry it back to your mother.”

“Delighted,” I said bravely.

After she hung up, I took the box of English Ovals from my jacket, stared at it a moment, then returned it unopened to my pocket. I was attempting to renounce the things and was at the point where denying myself a cigarette yielded almost as much satisfaction as smoking one. Almost—but not quite.

I phoned Sgt. Al Rogoff at the Palm Beach Police Department. Al was a compadre of many years, and we had worked together on several cases, usually to our mutual benefit.

“Sergeant Rogoff,” he answered.

“Archy McNally,” I said. “How was the vacation?”

“Great,” he said. “I spent a week bonefishing off the Keys.”

“Liar,” I said. “You spent a week in Manhattan and went to the ballet every night.”

“Shhh,” he said, “not so loud. If that got around, you know what a ribbing I’d take from the Joe Sixpacks?”

“Your secret is safe with me,” I said. “How about lunch in an hour?”

“Nope,” he said promptly. “I could make it but I’m not going to.”

“Al!” I said, shocked. “Since when do you turn down a decent lunch? I’ll pay the bill.”

“You’ll pay the bill for the food,” he said, “but every time I have lunch with you I end up paying a lot more—like more work, more stress, more headaches. No, thanks. You solve your own problems.”

“I have no problems,” I protested. “I’m not working a case. I merely wanted to have a pleasant social get-together.”

“Oh sure,” he said. “When shrimp fly. I appreciate the invitation, but I’ll pass.”

“Well, will you at least answer one little question for me?”

“Trot it out and I’ll let you know.”

“Has the Department had any complaints lately from people receiving poison-pen letters? Vicious stuff. Threats of murder.”

“I knew it!” Rogoff said, almost shouting. “I knew you’d never feed me without getting me involved in one of your cockamamy investigations. Who got the letter?”

“I can’t tell you that,” I said. “Client confidentiality. And I’m not trying to get you involved. I just want to know if it’s part of a local pattern.”

“Not to my knowledge,” he said. “I’ll ask around but I haven’t heard of any similar squeals.”

“Al,” I said, “the crazies who mail filth like that—do they ever do what they threaten?”

“Sometimes they do,” he said, “and sometimes they don’t.”

“Thank you very much,” I said. “That’s a big help.”

“We’re here to serve,” he said. Then, gruffly, “Keep me up to speed on this, Archy. I don’t like the sound of it.”

“I don’t either,” said I, and we hung up.

I drove home for lunch reflecting that Sgt. Rogoff was right; sooner or later I’d have to get him involved. I needed professional help on the Willigan and Gillsworth letters: analysis of the paper and the printing machine used, perhaps a psychological profile of the writer. I laughed aloud at what Al’s reaction would be when he learned I wanted his assistance to recover an abducted pussycat.

It was not, after all, a major criminal act. In fact, considering Peaches’ personality, I didn’t think it was a crime at all. I remembered The Ransom of Red Chief, and wondered if the case might end with the catnappers paying Harry Willigan to take back his disagreeable pet.

My mother had departed for the monthly meeting of her garden club so I lunched in the kitchen with Ursi and Jamie Olson. We had a big platter of cold cuts, a bowl of German potato salad, and the marvelous sour rye Ursi bakes once a week. We all made sandwiches, of course, with a hairy mustard and cold bottles of St. Pauli Girl to cool the fire.

It was all so satisfying that I went up to my digs for a short nap. I had a demented dream that involved Peaches wearing pajamas in convict stripes. The pj’s then turned into a sleek black maillot. Can you help me, Dr. Freud?

I awoke in time to freshen up, smoke a cigarette (No. 2), and vault into the freshly washed Miata for my trip to the Gillsworth home. I was looking forward to my conversation with Lydia, a lovely woman.

She was younger than her husband by about ten years, which would put her in my age bracket. But I always thought of her as a married woman and that made her seem older. I can’t explain it. Why do married people strike one as older than singles of the same age? I must puzzle that out one of these days.

Physiognomically Lydia Gillsworth was unique—at least in my experience. She had an overbite so extreme that I once heard it cruelly remarked that she was the only woman in Palm Beach who could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence. But to compensate for this anomaly she had the county’s most wonderful eyes. They used to be called bedroom eyes: large, deep-set, luminous. It was almost impossible to turn one’s gaze away from those seductive orbs.

And charm? A plentitude! She had the rare faculty of making you believe she thought you the most fascinating creature on God’s green earth. She listened intently, she asked pertinent questions, she expressed sympathy when needed. All with integrity and dignity. Can a woman be a mensch—or is that a term reserved for honorable men? If it is, then Lydia was a menschess.

I knew the Gillsworths had no staff of live-in servants but employed a Haitian housekeeper who worked thrice a week. So I wasn’t surprised when the mistress herself opened the door in answer to my knock. She drew me inside in a half-embrace and kissed my cheek.

“Archy!” she cried. “This is nice! Guess what I have for you.”

“An autographed photo of Thelma Todd?”

“No,” she said, laughing, “a pitcher of pink lemonade. Let’s go out on the patio. It’s a super day.”

She led the way through the Gillsworth home. It was decorated in the French Country style: everything light, airy, in muted colors. Fresh flowers were abundant, and the high-ceilinged rooms seemed to float in the afternoon sunlight. Overhead fans billowed gossamer curtains, and the uncarpeted floor, random-planked and waxed to a high gloss, reflected the antique bestiary prints framed on the whitewashed walls.

The patio was small but trig. It faced west but a striped awning shielded it from the glare of the setting sun. We sat at a glass-topped table and drank iced pink lemonade from pilsners engraved with a vine design.

She wasted no time with small talk. “Archy,” she said, “I do wish Roderick hadn’t consulted your father and you about that letter.” She was as close to petulance as I had ever seen her. “It’s so embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing? Mrs. Gillsworth, through no fault of yours, you have received a very venomous message. I could understand your being concerned, but why should you be embarrassed?”

“Because I seem to be causing such a foofaraw. Isn’t that a lovely word? I’ve wanted to use it for ages. The letter doesn’t bother me; it’s such a stupid thing. But I am upset by the disturbance it’s causing. Poor Rod hasn’t been able to write a line since it arrived, and now you’ve been dragooned into trying to find the writer when I’m sure there are a dozen other things you’d rather be doing. That’s why I’m embarrassed—because I’m causing so much trouble.”

“One,” I said, “I wasn’t dragooned; I volunteered. Two, there is nothing I’d rather be doing than getting to the bottom of this thing. Three, your welfare is important to your husband and to McNally and Son. None of us take the matter lightly. Speaking for my father and myself, we would be derelict in our duty if we did not make every effort possible to identify the sender. And only you can help.”

“I don’t see how I can, Archy,” she said, pouring us more lemonade. “I haven’t the faintest idea who might want to murder me.”

“Have you ever been threatened in person?”

“No.”

“Have you had any recent arguments with anyone?”

“No.”

“What about some event in your past? Can you think of anyone who might have harbored a grudge, even for years and years?”

“No.”

“Have you, however unintentionally, given anyone cause to believe he or she has been injured by you, insulted, offended, or even slighted?”

“No.”

I sighed. “Mrs. Gillsworth, the writer of that piece of filth is obviously not playing with a full deck. Please think hard. Is there anyone amongst your friends and acquaintances you have felt, occasionally or often, might be emotionally or mentally off the wall?”

She was silent a moment, and I hoped she was obeying my adjuration to “think hard.”

“No,” she said finally, “I know of no one like that.”

“What about a chance meeting with someone unknown to you? A clerk in a store, for example. A parking attendant. A waiter. Have you had any problems at all with people who serve the public? Any disagreements, no matter how trivial? Complaints you’ve made?”

“No, I can’t recall anything like that.”

I could not believe this woman was deliberately lying, but I found it hard to believe her denial of any altercation whatsoever with clerk, waiter, or bureaucrat. The world being what it is, we all have occasional disputes with those being paid to serve us.

I finished my lemonade. It was a bit sweetish for my taste. Lydia attempted to fill my glass again, but I shook my head, held a palm over the glass.

“Delicious,” I told her, “but I’m fighting a losing war against calories. Mrs. Gillsworth, do you know of anyone who envies you?”

She was startled, then looked at me with a wry smile. “What an odd question to ask.”

“Not so odd,” I said. “You are an attractive, charming lady. Everyone in Palm Beach knows you are well-to-do, if not wealthy. You are happily married to an intelligent, creative man. Your life seems to be serene and trouble-free. You have a lovely home and you dress beautifully. It appears to me that there are many reasons why you might be envied.”

That discomposed her and she showed her perturbation by standing suddenly to lower the patio awning farther so that we sat in warm shade.

“You know, Archy,” she said, frowning, “it has never occurred to me that I might be envied. But when you list my blessings in that fashion, I can understand why I might be. But I assure you I have never heard anyone express anything that could be construed as envy. Oh, I’ve had compliments on my gowns or on the house, but those were just conventional social remarks. Nothing that suggested the speaker was jealous.”

Then we sat in silence a moment. I was depressed by all her negative reactions to my questions. She had given me nothing, not a hint of a lead that might give direction to my discreet inquiries. She caught my mood, because she leaned forward and placed a hand lightly on my arm.

“I’m sorry, Archy,” she said softly. “I really think you should drop it.”

“No, ma’am,” I said stubbornly, “I won’t do that. The letter you received frightens me.”

She gave me a smile that surprised me. It was an amused smile, as if she appreciated my concern but thought my determination excessive.

“Let me try to explain how I feel,” she said. “And give you the reason why that letter doesn’t terrify me. I don’t know whether or not my husband spoke to you about my faith, but I believe deeply that life is but one form of existence and what we call death is another. I believe that when we die, we pass into another world as viable as this one but much more wonderful because it is inhabited by all those who have gone before. The soul never dies. Never! So corporeal existence is just a temporary state. When we give it up, voluntarily or not, we pass to a higher spiritual plane, just as a butterfly emerges from a cocoon. I am not trying to convert you, Archy; really I’m not! I’m just trying to explain why death holds no terrors for me.”

I abstained from reminding her that the death promised by the poison-pen letter involved torture and agony; it would not be a peaceful passing to her higher spiritual plane. But I was curious. “Tell me, Mrs. Gillsworth, are there many people, do you think, who share your beliefs?”

She laughed. “Many more than you think, I assure you. I call them ‘kindred souls.’ That’s a nice, old-fashioned phrase, isn’t it? Oh yes, there are many who feel as I do. Right here in Palm Beach, as a matter of fact. A number of us meet frequently to discuss out-of-body experiences and attempt to communicate with those who have already passed over.”

I hoped she didn’t notice, but I came to attention like a gun dog on point.

“Oh?” I said, as casually as I could. “These gatherings—something like a club, are they? You meet at members’ homes?”

“Not exactly,” she said, seemingly gratified by my interest. “They’re orchestrated by our psychic adviser and held in her home. Mrs. Gloriana. A wonderful woman. So sensitive.”

“That is fascinating,” I said, and it was because I now had a name. “Is she a medium? A seer?”

Not a seer,” Lydia said definitely. “Hertha doesn’t attempt to predict the future or tell your fortune or any claptrap like that. But I suppose you might call her a medium. We prefer to think of her as a channel, our means of communication to the great beyond.”

She spoke so simply and sincerely that I had no inclination to snicker. I am something of an infidel myself but I never scorn belief. If you are convinced the earth is flat, that’s okay with me as long as it gives you comfort.

“And this is Mrs. Gloriana’s profession?” I asked. “I mean, she does it for a living?”

“Oh yes. But don’t get the idea that it’s some kind of a con game. Hertha is licensed and bonded.”

“But she does charge for her services?” I said gently.

“Of course she does,” Mrs. Gillsworth said. “And why shouldn’t she, since her talents are so special. But her fees are quite reasonable and she takes credit cards.”

“Uh-huh,” I said. “And these meetings—sort of like séances, are they?”

“Well...” she said hesitantly, “somewhat. But there are no blobs of protoplasm floating in space or weird noises. We meet in a well-lighted room, sit in a circle around a table, and hold hands. To increase our psychic power, you see. Then Mrs. Gloriana tries to communicate with the other world. Her contact is a Mayan shaman who passed over hundreds of years ago. His name is Xatyl. Through him, Hertha attempts to reach people her clients wish to question. Sometimes they are famous people but usually they are relatives. I’ve spoken to my great-grandmother many times.”

“And communication with the, ah, deceased is made through Xatyl via Mrs. Gloriana?”

“Not always,” Lydia said sharply. “The contact fails as often as it succeeds. Sometimes the departed person requested is not available, or the line of communication is too faint to produce results because our combined psychic power that particular night is simply not strong enough to allow Mrs. Gloriana to get through to Xatyl.”

“Incredible,” I said, shaking my head, “and positively entrancing. Does Mrs. Gloriana provide private, uh, consultations?”

“Of course she does. But she’ll warn you that the chances of a successful contact are less for an individual than for a group. Because the psychic power is usually not sufficient, you see. A gathering of believers with linked hands generates much more energy than one person.”

That seemed reasonable to me. If you accepted the original premise, it even sounded logical.

“Tell me something else,” I said, “and this is just idle curiosity on my part, but has your husband ever attended the meetings with Mrs. Gloriana?”

“Oh, Rod came to three or four,” she said lightly, “but then he just drifted away. He never scoffed, but he never accepted the concept wholeheartedly. Rod’s interests are more intellectual than spiritual. And he’s uncomfortable in groups. He needs solitude to create.”

“I can appreciate that,” I said. “He has his work to do, and very important work it is, too.” I stood up. “Mrs. Gillsworth, I thank you for your time and hospitality.”

“You intend to continue your investigation?”

I nodded. “I can’t promise success, but I must try.”

“I haven’t been much help, have I?”

“I’m sure you’ve provided all the information you possibly can.”

“And you promise not to take this ridiculous matter to the police? It’s really of no consequence.”

I made no reply. She conducted me back through the house, then suddenly stopped and put a hand on my arm.

“Wait just a moment, Archy,” she said. “I must show you something I brought back from Rhode Island for Rod’s collection. I found it at a country shop near Woonsocket.”

Roderick Gillsworth collected antique canes and walking sticks. In fact, collecting was an absolute frenzy in Palm Beach, and the more outré the collectibles, the stronger the passion. I myself had succumbed to the madness and was buying up every crystal shotglass I could find. The star of my collection was an etched Lalique jigger.

I had seen Gillsworth’s collection before, and he had some beauts, including several sword canes, one that concealed a dagger, a walking stick that held a half-pint of whiskey, and a formal evening stick which, when one peered through a small hole in the handle, revealed a tiny photo of a billowy maiden wearing nothing but long black stockings and a coy smile.

The cane Lydia had brought her husband from Rhode Island was a polished, tapered cone of ash topped with a heavy head of sterling silver in the shape of a unicorn. It really was an impressive piece, probably about two hundred years old, and I longed to know what it cost—but didn’t ask, of course.

I complimented Mrs. Gillsworth on her purchase and thanked her again for the pink lemonade. But I was not to escape so easily. She brought me that Eyelash begonia intended for my mother. I thought it should have been called a Godzilla begonia but thanked Lydia once again and lugged it out to the Miata. I drove home slowly, mulling over everything I had just learned. I am an amateur muller. I get that from my father, who is a world-class muller and has been known to ponder for two minutes trying to decide whether or not to salt a radish.

Mother was still absent when I arrived home so I left the monstrous plant on her workbench in the potting shed. I had plenty of time for my ocean swim before the family cocktail hour. It was while plowing through the murky sea that I had an idea which was absolutely bonkers. What if Mrs. Lydia Gillsworth had written the poison-pen letter herself and mailed it to herself?

I could think of several possible motives. (1) She wished to elicit sympathy from friends. (2) She wanted attention from her husband, who apparently spent most of his time cuddling with his muse. (3) She yearned for a little drama in a life that had become hopelessly humdrum. (4) She herself was around the bend and was now subject to irrational impulses.

A case could be made for suspecting Lydia as the culprit, but it fell apart when I remembered the similarly printed ransom note delivered to the Willigans. I doubted if Mrs. Gillsworth even knew the Willigans, and it was absurd to believe her guilty of swiping their cat.

I showered and dressed carefully for my date with Meg Trumble. I was in a Bulldog Drummond mood and wore total black: raw silk jacket, jeans, turtleneck, socks, and loafers. My father took one look, elevated an eyebrow, and commented, “You look like a shadow.” But of course his taste in male attire is stultified. He thinks my tasseled loafers are twee. I think of him as the Prince of Wingtips.

“We sipped our martinis, and mother told us how delighted she was with Lydia Gillsworth’s gift. The pater asked offhandedly if I had made any progress with the “Gillsworth matter,” and I said I had not.

“And the Willigans’ missing cat?” he added.

“Negative,” I said, and was tempted to tell him I was convinced the two cases were connected. But I didn’t, fearing he might have me certified.

We finished our drinks, and my parents went downstairs to dine. I went out to the Miata and sat long enough to smoke my third English Oval of the day, knowing that in Meg Trumble’s company I would have to forgo nicotine.

Then I drove down to the Willigans’ home, ruminating on where I could take Meg for dinner. It had to be someplace so distant that my presence with another woman might escape the notice of Consuela Garcia’s corps of informants. I finally decided to make the journey to Fort Lauderdale.

I was familiar with W. Scott’s warning about tangled webs. But I wasn’t really practicing to deceive Connie.

Was I?