Chapter 47

He sat on the gurney and resigned himself to the doctor side of Beverly. She looked in his ears, up his nose, down his throat, took his blood pressure, felt his abdomen, and then pinched the back of his hand.

“Ouch!” he cried.

“You’re dehydrated,” Beverly murmured. “Lie down.”

He didn’t have the energy to fight her, so he stretched out and watched her back as she fussed with something on the table a few feet away.

“How’re you doing, Blake?’ she asked, keeping her back to him.

“Okay,” he mumbled. His body didn’t ache as badly as it had a few days ago, but damn, exhaustion still steamrolled him.

She grabbed his arm and pushed it down into the gurney. Panic gripped him when he saw the needle, and he tried to pull his arm away.

Beverly leveraged her weight on the arm and glared at him. “You need fluids and vitamins in your body, Blake. Don’t fight me on this, or so help me God, I will let them throw you out of here like they want to,” she murmured.

After a few seconds of considering her words, he relented, and the needle slid into his arm. At his core, he knew he could trust Beverly, but after the last time someone slid a needle into his arm he wasn’t too thrilled with the whole process.

There wasn’t any floating, blacking out, or panic, but he tracked the fluids moving through his body and actually experienced his tissue getting the nourishment it needed. After a few moments, he whispered, “Thank you.”

Beverly nodded. “What were you on?”

Blake smiled. Beverly’s appearance screamed high-class snootiness, with her perfect porcelain skin, her probing green eyes, her flawless facial structure, and her pretty blonde hair. However, in reality, she was as blunt as a fist to the face.

Beverly never tried to hide her addiction to painkillers. She was open to anyone who wanted to hear her story, and she looked at Blake as if she expected the same from him, and that made him uncomfortable. But Beverly might also be a good person to have on his side right now.

“How did you know?” he asked.

She smiled. “It takes one to know one, Blake. I knew something was up, but I wasn’t sure what it was until you left your gun behind the bar.”

“Look, I’m really sorry about that. I just . . . I wasn’t in my right mind.”

“I know. Like I said, that’s when I knew something was going on with you, and the only thing I could think of was some sort of substance abuse. So, what were you on?”

“Heroin, and sometimes cocaine.”

Beverly let out a low whistle. “Hard stuff.”

“Yeah.”

She looked at his arms. “I don’t see any track marks. Were you snorting the heroin, or did you shoot up through your feet?”

“I’m kind of a wuss when it comes to needles, so I sniffed it.”

“Are you clean now?” she asked as she checked the IV.

“Yep. Three days.”

“How are the withdrawals going?”

Blake remembered the torturous pain, the way his insides twisted and writhed, and how his skin hurt at the touch of a blanket. “At first they were horrible and I wanted to die. When the cravings hit, I kind of still do.”

Beverly nodded. “Staying clean is hard work, Blake, especially when things in life get tough. I always think of my addiction as a little monster living inside of me. When Hudson and I fight, or someone does something that irritates me, my little monster is there telling me that one little pill won’t hurt, that the pill will make it all go away. And sometimes, it’s hard to ignore the bastard. However, I know if I feed him the little pill, then he will grow and want more. Eventually he’ll become unmanageable and I’ll be right back where I started.”

Blake was surprised just how accurate her description was. “Yeah, right now my monster isn’t so small and is begging me to be fed.”

“I bet he is. If you deny him, he’ll shrink, and that loud roar you hear will eventually become a whisper you can ignore.”

He tried to imagine living without the constant barrage of “give me more,” and frankly, it was pretty appealing.

“I’m here if you need me, Blake,” Beverly said, placing her hand on his arm. “If you want, I can help you get through this. We can do this together.”

Blake was so moved by her words, tears stung his eyes, and he looked down at her hand. His recklessness could have caused the death of her son and her mate. He appreciated her words, but he had the feeling he was on his own, especially after his talk with Noah. His main priority was getting Sophia back and into the hands of the Saviors, and then . . . well, he really hadn’t given any consideration to his plan after that.

He cleared his throat. “Thanks, Bev, but didn’t you just tell me they want to throw me out?”

Beverly smiled. “I honestly haven’t heard anything like that. I just made it up as a threat to get the needle into you.”

Blake narrowed his eyes. “You’re terrible,” he said, smiling.

Beverly laughed. “I think I prefer resourceful.”

“Noah told me not to get too comfortable here, so I think it’s definite that I won’t be staying.”

The stared at each other a moment, then Beverly shrugged and said, “You don’t know for sure, Blake. However, you did make a lot of people angry and hurt a lot of feelings.”

“I know.”

“Stay here for another half-hour,” Beverly said. “I’ll go check on the kids and be right back.”

Blake nodded, watching her go. As the gym door shut, he gazed up at the ceiling. He knew he would eventually have to come clean to everyone, including Annis and Cohen, and explain the reason for his actions and behavior. Sighing, he concluded a good helping of humble pie was in his near future.