Chapter 50

Blake’s phone rang, waking him from a deep slumber. At first, he was uncertain of where he was, but then it all came back.

“Hello,” he mumbled into the phone, trying to get a grip on reality. As he glanced around the room, he noticed that Megan had left.

“Hey, Blake,” Noah said. “Did I wake you?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, I’m sorry, man, but you didn’t show up for dinner, and the search party is back. We were wondering if you left or if you were dead.”

Blake sat up, now fully awake. “Sorry, still here and alive and kicking. What did they find?”

The “kicking” part was an overstatement, but his heart still beat, so he’d gotten it right on the “alive” part.

“Why don’t you come up to the War Room and we can all be informed at once.”

“On my way.”

As he waited for the elevator, he prayed they hadn’t found Sophia’s body. The thought of delivering the news to Megan made his monster scream and yell.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the button that would take him up to the War Room and leaned against the wall of the elevator, praying they hadn’t discovered Sophia’s corpse.

As the doors opened, he was greeted with laughter and squeals of happiness, as well as the sounds of seventies’ disco. Beverly, Faith, and Alaina were in the kitchen with Killian and Megan, all of them dancing, and Blake couldn’t help but smile. Megan’s cheeks were rosy, her hair a mess around her cherub face. She screeched and giggled, moving around to no beat or rhythm, just flailing her arms and legs as she wanted. Killian danced right next to her, doing the same, while the women moved to the beat and cheered the kids on.

Blake stepped out of the elevator and grinned. How carefree and happy they all were.

“Join us, Blake!” Beverly called over the music.

No. Fucking. Way. He didn’t dance, unless it was some slow groove that would get him laid.

“Come on, Blake!” Faith called.

Not going to happen.

“Blake!” Megan yelled, and ran over to him. “Come dance with me!”

As she led him over to their little circle, he wondered again what it was about this little girl that caused him to go all mushy and do stupid shit like dance to the Bee Gees?

The Bee Gees crooned “Stayin’ Alive,” and Megan took both his hands in hers. As she moved in her little girl way, Blake grinned and moved with her. He loved to see her laugh and have fun, loved to watch her morph from that serious child he’d met a few days ago into this silly little girl dancing to disco.

When the song ended, she begged him for more. He bent down and said, “I can’t, princess. I’ve got a meeting to go to. We’re looking for your mom.”

Her face got serious and she nodded. “Go do your work, Blake,” she commanded.

He stood and glanced at the women. After Killian and Megan took off down the hall, they turned to him.

“Princess?” Alaina questioned, smiling.

Blake laughed. “She said her mom was royalty on SR44 and never had to do anything for herself. I told her that women on Earth who live like that are princesses.”

Alaina threw her head back and laughed. She was another one who started off in this house as cautious and reserved, but had grown so much over the past months. “That’s sweet, Blake,” she said.

“I’ll see all you lovely ladies later,” Blake called over his shoulder with a wave as he made his way down to the War Room.

When he entered, the bright eyes of those around the table bathed the room in a variety of colors. A part of him wished he was as special as these men, but he wasn’t. He was simply Blake, the traitor to his country, and the junkie.

“You’re looking better,” Noah said, gesturing for Blake to sit in his regular chair.

“Thanks, Noah.”

“So, Hudson, fill us in on what you found at the house.”

Blake took a deep breath and crossed his arms over his chest.

“We found a body in the back shed,” Hudson said.

Blake’s monster roared, promising that a hit of heroin would calm him and make his stress dissipate. He closed his eyes for a moment. Hudson hadn’t said whose body they found, so there was no use jumping to the worst possible conclusion.

“Who was it?” Jovan asked. “Did you know them?”

Cohen nodded. “It was Simon of the Platoon.”

Blake looked at Cohen, totally surprised.

“Did you have anything to do with that, Blake?” Cohen asked. “It was a clean shot to the head. Instant death.”

“No, I didn’t,” he answered. Blake knew Cohen hated death, especially among his own people.

Cohen’s eyes narrowed as if he tried to see through Blake’s lies. There were none to be found. “I didn’t even know Simon was there,” Blake continued. “When Megan and I were waiting for the right time to get away, all I heard was Micah and Jael.”

Cohen nodded and turned his attention to Noah.

“So, if Blake didn’t kill him, that leaves two choices: Sophia, or one of the Platoon turned on him,” Noah speculated.

Blake didn’t think Sophia had it in her to kill another, but he also never imagined she would send him on his way with her daughter. “My guess would be the Platoon,” he said. “Based on what I know of Sophia, she’s not a killer.”

Noah rapped his knuckles on the tabletop. “So, I guess we just wait.”

Blake sighed. His monster howled and writhed within him, wanting to be fed. He needed a distraction. “I, uh, I was wondering if it would be okay if I went to the gym? I know you don’t want me having free roam of the place, and I get that, but I’d like to get in a workout.

There was a beat of silence, and finally Jovan answered. “I’ll go with you, if it’s okay with Noah.”

Noah nodded.

“Obviously, you’re going to take it slow, right?” Jovan asked. “You don’t look like you could beat the stuffing out of a pillow, Blake.”

There were chuckles around the table from everyone but Hudson, and Blake figured it was a good time to come clean.

“I know I look like shit,” he said. “I know I’ve lost a lot of weight, and Liberty could probably knock me out with a couple of well-placed punches.”

The table went quiet.

“There were . . . a series of events that went down,” he continued, staring at Annis, “that really fucked me up. No matter how hard I tried to get over them, or ignore them, nothing worked.”

Annis’s golden stare pierced him, and yet he didn’t feel the normal pain he had felt for so long. “I turned to drugs . . . heroin and cocaine, to be precise.”

There were gasps around the table, and Blake glanced at Hudson, who gave him a small smile and a nod of encouragement.

“Heroin?” Rayner asked.

Blake nodded. “I’m not going to go into those circumstances. I’ll discuss those with the people involved when the time is right.”

He took a deep breath and turned to Cohen. Time for the mea culpa. “I just wanted to apologize to all of you for my behavior, my actions, and lack thereof. I was completely out of it, running on half a brain, and I’m sorry for the pain and misery I caused everyone in this house.”

Annis reached for Cohen’s hand, and their fingers intertwined. Blake recalled how his own fair skin used to stand out against Annis’s dark tone when they held hands, and how beautiful it had looked. But again, there wasn’t any pain at these thoughts, just sweet memories.

Silence filled the room at his words, and he focused again on the table.

“Blake,” Noah said, “I wish you would have said something to someone.”

He shrugged, knowing he never would have admitted his dependency or pain to anyone.

“We could have helped you,” Noah continued. “We could have saved you from your . . . implosion.”

“Let’s head down to the gym,” Jovan said. “The first thing we need to do is get you back into fighting shape. Right now, Megan could kick your ass.”

Blake chuckled. Jovan gave him a wink left the War Room.

His soul felt just a little lighter at his apology, and he wondered what his future would hold. Would the Saviors ask him to stay, or had he done too much damage? Would they trust him to remain clean?

He didn’t know, but at this point, it wouldn’t be very smart of them to trust him because he didn’t think he trusted himself.