Humor Hall of Fame
Cartoon by Mick Stevens
“Dear Diary: Incredible news! Unfortunately, it’s all classified.”
I asked a scruffy-looking soldier if he’d shaved. He answered, “Yes, Top Sergeant.” I got into his face and said, “OK, tomorrow I want you to stand closer to your razor.”
A military base commander called to complain that the weather-forecasting software our company created for them kept reporting unexplainable wind shifts. “Do you know where the sensor is located?” my coworker asked. “Of course,” he responded. “It’s where we park the helicopters.”
—ANGELO GIORDANO BELLEVUE, NEBRASKA
My five-year-old brother’s eyes grew large as our father opened the top drawer of his dresser. Seeing John’s reaction, Dad took out his Purple Heart and explained how he’d earned it during the Korean War. John was so impressed, the only thing he managed to say was, “Dad, are all those socks really yours?”
—TRICIA HARNEY GRAND HAVEN, MICHIGAN
Cartoon by Terry Colon
GREAT WEAPONS THROUGH HISTORY: THE TROJAN COCKROACH Unfortunately, it was easily repulsed by the Trojan Boot in their first and only encounter.
My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, “Did you ever kill anyone?” Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, “Probably. I was the cook.”
—MARIAN BABULA PENN RUN, PENNSYLVANIA