“Take care of Wookiee. And dad. Sometimes likes ear scratches. Uh— the cat, not dad,” Rebecca handed the carrier to her sister. Angie laughed and her father grinned.
“I know
, Beck. Don’t worry, we’ll all be here and happy when you get back.”
“I’ll miss you,” she said, hugging her sister, and then her father.
“We’ll miss you too,” said her father. He squeezed her again. “And I’m so proud of you. Now go, before they leave you behind!”
Angie gave her a gentle push toward the flight ramp and waved. Her father turned away to blow his nose. Spixworth blushed as his own father crushed him in a long hug. Al Jahi cried as she kissed her little girl and stroked her boy’s hair. The observation balcony was packed and Rebecca could see Peter and Celia Titov waving frantically to Andrei who was grinning, happier than she’d ever seen him. The Admiral shook Captain Stratton’s hand, his speeches already over and the Wolfinger stood fueled and ready, its hatch standing open and waiting for them.
But Rebecca was not looking at the Wolfinger. She was looking back, at the Keseburg. At all the people she’d ever known. At the only home they had. Dented and scratched, the
interior a maze of changing decks and apartments, the ship evolved around them generation after generation. She wondered if there was anything left that the original Earthlings would have recognized. After sixteen hundred years, it was doubtful. She marveled at the kind of courage it had taken to leave their world, to launch themselves away knowing they’d never see it again. Did she have the same courage? Could she bear to let it drift out of sight?
The Keseburg’s band played an upbeat rendition of the ship’s anthem and Captain Stratton climbed the ladder to the hatch. It was time to go. The sound of cheering was overwhelming until Rebecca stepped into the Wolfinger and the door latched behind Leroux. She strapped herself into her chair as Liu finished his preflight routine and Al Jahi asked formal permission to depart. The Wolfinger growled and hummed beneath Rebecca’s feet. The doors of the Keseburg slid gradually open and the planet swirled gray and blue against the dark blank of space. She resisted the urge to flip the filament on and watch the observation balcony feed. No looking back
, she told herself. The Wolfinger slipped out of the flight deck, free and floating and alone.
Dorothy Hackford began to hyperventilate beside her. Rebecca reached out and clasped the geologist’s hand. “It’s okay,” she said, “this is the hard part. When we get there, you’ll be so busy, you’ll forget to miss it. Liu knows what he’s doing, he’s flown the Wolfinger dozens of time. It’s okay, Dorothy. Take a deep breath.” She rubbed a soothing circle on the back of Hackford’s hand with her thumb. Hackford squeezed back and managed to slow her breath into shuddering gasps.
“Thanks, Emery,” she managed. “It’s just— when I was little, I wandered into Engineering once. My mom was talking to someone in Central and I followed a draybot to the next deck. I got distracted by the light from the hydrogen injectors. And
when I realized I was alone, I was terrified. I couldn’t find my way back. It was only ten minutes before someone found me and returned me to my mother, but I’ll never forget that feeling. Until today, I never had to worry about being lost again. I know every inch of the Keseburg. We all do. Like the decks are the bones of our own bodies. But now— I’ve got that panicky feeling again. And I know if I lose my way this time, nobody’s going to come find me and bring me back.”
“Aw, Dorothy, that’s not true. If you got lost, we’d find you. Might take us a little longer than ten minutes, but our landing zone is only a few miles, barely bigger than the Keseburg.”
“I— hadn’t thought of it that way. You’re right. We don’t have to cover the whole planet, just our little zone. That’s not so bad, is it?”
Rebecca smiled and shook her head. “No, it’s not so bad. You can do this.”
“We’re clear,” said Liu. “Forty-eight hours to landing.”
The others began unbuckling. Spixworth laughed as he floated between the seats, doing a somersault midair. Leroux shook her head with a smile.
“Oh come on, Leroux, even you
can’t be bored by this. I don’t think you’re half as flight hardened as you seem.” Spixworth flapped, trying to pull himself higher and Hackford laughed. Rebecca smiled, releasing her hand. She unstrapped from the seat, watching the way her body moved without the Keseburg’s gravity.
“Six hours to loss of communication with the Keseburg,” called Al Jahi. “If you want to send messages, get them back to me before then.”
They’d known it was coming, it was why they had to send a manned mission in the first place. Still, the idea of the coming silence put a damper even on Spixworth. In six hours, they’d be on their own. And the Keseburg would have to wait two months to know if they’d found a new home or not.
Captain Stratton patted Liu on the shoulder before gliding toward the labs. “Emery, can you give me a hand with the gear check?”
Rebecca nodded and followed him through the Wolfinger, pulling herself along by the handrails. The others were already headed to their labs to begin their experiment setups and obsessively inspect their equipment and specimens for the tenth time. Rebecca waved at Alice and Leroux as they passed her on the way to the infirmary. The equipment lock was large, but with twelve crew members, it was still crowded with equipment. Stratton wove through the clamped bins and hanging suits.
“Just checking the landing suits over,” he called as she twisted past the shrunken counter-pressure suits, knocking an elbow on one of the large helmets. She tried to stop herself from crashing into him but only succeeded in yanking herself partially back toward the wall.
“Sorry, Captain,” she muttered, trying to right herself after bumping into his side. He caught her and pointed to the anchor rung on the floor. She slid her foot in and settled.
“It’s fine Emery. I forget that most of you haven’t had much micro-grav practice.”
“How many times have you been out?”
The Captain looked up from the suit he was holding. “On the Wolfinger? Dozens of trips. I was a pilot on the Tamsen for a few years before that. This is the first planetary mission though. We’re mostly sent out to scout mining trips. So we’ll be on even footing when we land.” He handed her a suit.
“Do you think this will be the one?”
Stratton stared at her. “You know the odds as well as I.”
“Yes. But you’ve been out here. You’ve seen the data the Hardcoop grabbed, you know what it means. What do you
think?”
He hesitated and then bent back to one of the seals on the
suit. “No. I don’t think it will be. Sure, the size is right, the orbital distance is right, the little bit of atmospheric data the Hardcoop was able to bring back is promising. But, we’ve been here before. Well, not you and me, but our grandparents and theirs all the way back. Every time we were disappointed. Why should this trip be any different?”
Rebecca nodded.
Stratton jabbed her gently in the shoulder. “Hey Emery, it’s not so bad. We’ll get water and resources at least— things the Keseburg desperately needs.”
“I know. It’s more— I used to be glad I wasn’t part of the original crew. That I didn’t have to make the decision that they did. That our situation was out of our hands. I was— at peace with the idea that I’d never see a life outside the Keseburg, that I would live and die as part of this journey, an anonymous middle life. There have been no rebellions in several gens, the resources aren’t abundant, but they are adequate. I like the people I live with. I’m not Spindling. I really do have a good life. But now, the possibility of more
has become very attractive. I find that I want
to be part of the end, I want to live to see a new home, somewhere to stretch out and explore.”
“You know, I could approve a transfer when we get back, if you want. The Wolfinger could use another element surveyor, and between the training you’ve already had and the experience you’ll get on the ground in a few weeks, you’d be up to speed with the others. If this doesn’t turn out to be the place, I mean.”
Rebecca laughed. “And give up the fast paced life of space anthropology? Thanks, Captain, I’ll think about it. Really, I will. And thank you for including me in this mission. I know the other researchers don’t think I’ll add anything—”
“Then it’s a good thing it wasn’t their decision to make. You earned your spot, Emery. Consider it— consider it my act of faith, bringing you along. Not faith in you
, you’ve proven
yourself capable. Faith in this mission. My little bet that there truly is
a chance we’ll find a living planet, and that we’ll need people like you. That we’re not completely alone out here.” He bent over the suit again.