4
BRUTAL
Having an uncle who is the president of the college you attend may seem like a big deal but for me it wasn’t. Thankfully, he stayed out of my way and I stayed out of his. Well, that was until he summoned me to his office during class. Most people didn’t know we were related because we had different last names, but now they surely knew something was up when he sent a messenger to get me. I didn’t really like that. I just wanted to be normal. If I only saw him on holidays or when I needed money was fine with me.
“Hey Hayden,” his secretary said. “He’s in a meeting right now.”
“No, he just called for me to come here. I’m gonna see him,” I said, opening up the door to his office.
I was stunned when I opened the door and saw my aunt’s hands around my uncle’s throat. I didn’t know what was going on, but his secretary was right. I wasn’t supposed to see this.
Unsure how to react, I said, “Sorry to interrupt, but Uncle Wade, you called me.”
The two of them went to separate sides of his office. I’d never seen my uncle look so distraught. Obviously, the tension lingering in the air was a sign that this whole incident was serious. His wife, stuck-up Aunt Anne, as my sister and I always called her, grabbed her purse as she grunted. She fled past me, brushing my arm.
“Hayden, now you know you gotta knock,” my uncle said, trying to play it off.
“Okay, what was that all about?” I went over to him and demanded. He ignored me, got on his phone and blasted his secretary.
“I told her you were busy, sir,” I heard her say.
“Are you and Aunt Anne having problems? Was she beating you?” I asked when he hung up the phone. I couldn’t believe I was asking the toughest man I knew such personal questions, but I’d seen for myself what was going on, and it didn’t look right.
When he didn’t respond, silence came over the room. All my life he’d played the protective role in my life. My mom’s younger brother had schooled my high school boyfriends when my dad was overseas traveling. Now, I felt like I needed to protect him.
“I didn’t think I was interrupting, because you got me from class,” I said, still unable to shake the images I’d seen moments before.
“Okay baby, you’re a sophomore in college now, a big girl. You know adults have issues,” he said, still unable to look at me.
“Oh really? I’ve forgotten how married couples interact. My dad’s been away for so long now,” I said, getting a little sad.
“I know,” he said, coming over to give me a hug.
I truly missed my father, but he was an officer in the United States Navy. When it was time for him to go, he had to go. When it was time for him to come home, he often stayed overseas. It was more than duty to him. It was his life. He’d write, call and say he loved me, my mom and Hailey. However, how could that be the case when he was often away? I had a small family, my sister was four years younger than me and my mom had her own life. I was happy to be away at college trying to find my way and later tonight I would finally have that opportunity. There were flyers all over campus, tonight was rush night. I had waited for so long. Pledging would extend my family and I was excited about that.
“Look, don’t you go telling your mom about what you saw here between your aunt and me, okay? Everything’s fine. She and I just—well, everything’s fine.”
“Naw, it’s cool. I won’t say a word. Whatever you say,” I told him. “Why’d you want to see me though?”
“Your mom told me that you were about to pledge. I know all the sororities are having their rush tonight and I’m just trying to make sure this is seriously something you want. A lot of girls think it is and end up getting in way over their heads. These sororities and fraternities nowadays can get off track if they have the wrong members leading. So many of them are in so much trouble. We just want to make sure you know what you’re doing,”
“I was just standing here thinking that if I can become a member of Beta Gamma Pi, that would be a dream realized for me. This is the beginning. Going to rush is not me signing up to be a member of anything. I’m not sure I’m going to do it,” I said, giving him the answer I knew he wanted. “You’ve got a smart niece. Let me go and evaluate it. I won’t let you down.”
“I’d like to be able to look at you and say that everybody does their pledge process by the book. However, that wouldn’t be true. Even on my campus, I’m not oblivious to the fact that craziness goes on. I try to crack down on it. I meet with the advisors, my faculty and staff, and I even talk to the presidents of each of the chapters. But if people want to have stuff messed up, they will. If they know they can get away with doing stupid things, they’ll do that too.”
Being real with him, I asked, “I’m just curious why my aunt thinks it’s okay to put her hands around your neck. Has that happened before? Does she think she can get away with it?”
“Come on, Hayden. Drop it, okay? Your uncle can take care of himself. I run this big ol’ school, right?” He kissed me on the forehead, opened the office door and shoved me out.
I sighed. I hoped he really could take care of himself. My family had issues.
The Betas had their rush, an informational session to tell potential pledges all about their organization. The meaningful event was held at an exquisite restaurant not far from campus. Lavender and turquoise candles were lit everywhere. On one side of the room sat the sisters of Beta Gamma Pi and on the other side were all of the hopefuls, like me. They had a small stage set up with a mic and everything. But I just kept wishing that someone I knew would walk through the door.
Before I left our apartment, as hard as I tried to convince Chandra to come with me, she held true to the fact that she was not going to pledge. Myra got dressed wearing anything but brown or peach because she went to the Nu rush. And Bridget wanted to show the MEMs she looked great in silver and gold. Despite what we tried to tell her, she went out of the door sporting their colors to their rush.
As I stood alone, I had to stand tall in my mind. I watched the different ladies of the sorority look me up and down. No one was smiling until I saw Penelope, who was the Vice President of the chapter and head of the line.
She came over to me and said, “You’re going to be fine.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think your sorority sisters like me very much,” I said as I grew even more uncomfortable with the way Keisha was eyeballing me.
“Oh they like you a lot, trust me. Some of these other girls in here may have to worry. But of course they have to be tough on you. The Chapter President’s about to come up and introduce herself, so sit!”
“Hi, I’m Edythe Stone, the Chapter President,” the confident girl with short sassy hair said to the audience of approximately forty. “Welcome to the Beta Gamma Pi rush. It’s obvious that you all are curious about our wonderful sorority. Today we’re just here to make sure that you leave without any doubts that Beta Gamma Pi is definitely something you want to be a part of. Founded in 1919, here, on the campus of Western Smith, five women were impressed by the sororities being established in the east for equality and change. With lots of injustices in the central part of the country as well, they came together and decided to take a stand. Pi Lambda Beta was also founded that same year here. Make no mistake about it though, the men decided to get behind their women and join them in the cause, but of course they couldn’t be in the sorority so they formed a fraternity to help.”
A very short girl I noticed was taking notes. I didn’t know if I should be doing the same. Certainly, I didn’t want to miss or forget anything.
Edythe continued, “Beta Gamma Pi stands on five key points and everything we do is around those five things: leadership, sisterhood, education, spirituality and service. We build up leaders. We believe the bond of sisterhood is the essence of our survival and education is how we build our strength. We’re a Christian-based organization that believes in serving the public from our heart. I believe most of you already got it going on, but if you want to join a dynamic group of women ready, empowered, charged, motivated and determined to make a difference in this world that we live in, then this sorority is for you. If you seek to be a part of a group of women who want to make this world better than they found it, then this sorority is for you. If your heart is big and you’re not the center of your own world, then maybe ... just maybe, you too can be a Beta.”
“Like they don’t need us,” I heard a girl behind me say.
I almost wanted to turn around and tell her to be quiet. She was going to ruin her chance. Though I knew it was highly unlikely, I was down with us all making it.
“Trisha, hush!” I heard a chick next to her say.
“What, Chris? You know I’m telling the truth.”
Penelope held up a white 8 x 10 envelope and said, “If you are interested, please pick up an application packet before you leave. You must have a letter of recommendation by a member of our sorority, two letters showing you’ve consistently done community service, and didn’t just start last week. Also, the twelve-page application itself must be typed and we need your official transcript. All of this needs to be in one week from today to the place specified on the packet.”
She also went on to tell us each packet would be scored and if we got enough points we’d get an interview. If we got enough points after that then we’d be invited to be on their line. I had a feeling this was going to take much more work than I could have imagined. Looking at the Betas I knew they weren’t impressed easily.
Then the chapter advisor got up and started talking about the academic requirements involved in us getting into the organization. That Trisha girl behind me just kept talking though.
“Whatever. I know I have a 2.5 GPA, but it’s not like they don’t want me to be on their line. Are you kidding?”
Someone from the other side of the room said, “Hush!” loudly, a little too loudly. Then five of the Betas got up from their seats and came to our side, giving us intimidating glares.
When we were dismissed and had time to mingle, I couldn’t believe three of the Betas cornered me and asked me why was I talking during their presentation. Thankfully, Penelope came over and escorted me away from the heat.
“It wasn’t me!” I said to her, feeling like they hated me.
“They know it wasn’t you. You were in the front row. We could all see you weren’t talking. Plus, you were sitting all by yourself. You gotta know how to handle them. But we all have a favorite in the room and I really like you,” Penelope said.
“Why?” I asked her.
“Because of all the girls I’ve talked to that say they want to be Betas, you outshine them all. Their reasons for wanting to pledge are shallow. They say to wear the letters, to sport the colors, to try to get guys, I mean you wouldn’t believe some of the stupid stuff they say. And even though I know you are a legacy ... Yeah, we know,” she said, seeing the tension on my face.
I wished I could have kept that a secret. I’d always heard mixed things about being the daughter of a Beta. Either that gave you an edge, or the chapter members would cast you out because they felt you were too cocky. I didn’t know what would be my fate if they found out so I kept it low key.
“Your roommates are all trying to pledge something different, and yet you still want this. I saw you pushing a guy in a wheelchair the other day down the hall to class. Somebody else dropped their books and you were there to help them out. I don’t know. You have outstanding character. The character we need in our group. I’m happy you came to rush tonight. I’m glad the night after our party didn’t deter you.” I reached over to hug her and she backed away. “I’m not that glad. I’m not just gonna hand you my letters. You’re going to have to work for them. You ready to work for them, Hayden?”
I nodded.
“Cool.”
I hoped it was.
The next evening, I was home working on a paper for my psychology professor, Dr. Griffin. The dude was so rigid, he needed a female to loosen him up. It felt like school had just started and I was already weighed down with work. Then my doorbell rang, giving me the break I needed. “Come on, we gotta go!” a familiar voice said to me as I opened my apartment door and got yanked out of it.
“Wait a minute. I don’t have my purse, my wallet or my keys. What’s this about?”
“Okay, I’m Trisha. I’m trying to pledge Beta. We’ve been instructed to come and pick you up. You in this or what?”
Now, I understood. I guess the crazy rollercoaster ride of pledging was on. I held up my finger to say one minute. Part of me was excited. At least this time I wouldn’t be around the crazy girls alone.
“I’ll be at the car,” Trisha said.
“Sounds good. I’ll be right out.”
When I went inside to get my purse Chandra yelled out, “Hayden, who’s that at the door?”
“It’s nobody,” I said quickly, truly not needing her to act like a parent.
“I know you not going underground,” she said as I looked away. “All right, hard head. Don’t get your head smashed in.”
“I’ll be back later. Don’t worry,” I said to her.
“Take your phone!”
“Alright, alright, I’m straight,” I said, as I opened the front door.
“I’m writing down the license plate of this girl’s car. You don’t even know her!”
I blew a kiss and she smiled.
I went out to Trisha’s car and got in the back. It was tight. But I wasn’t going to complain.
Trisha’s trying to pledge too. I mean how much trouble could I get in, really?
When I got in the car with the other three girls, no one said hello. Maybe we all had knots in our stomachs.
“I can’t believe you had to pick me up. It’s tight back here. I could have driven,” the plus-size girl sitting with me in the backseat complained as I strapped in.
Trisha was driving and replied, “You can get out of my car and walk for all I care. But I’m the one with the instructions and directions. They said follow them completely and that’s what I’m doing.”
The two of them argued back and forth. It was madness. One thing I learned from psychology class is how to analyze people. It looked like both Trisha and this other girl were strong people. Sitting beside Trisha in the front passenger side of the car was a girl who introduced herself as Kellie.
I responded by introducing myself as well, and then said, “Hey guys, don’t we all want the same thing? If we’re about to walk into the lion’s den with the Betas, shouldn’t we all be on the same side?”
“And she speaks,” Trisha said.
“Yeah, how can you be at the rush and not try to meet anybody? I’m Bea, by the way,” the larger girl said to me.
“That was the advice I got,” I said to them. “Listen and stay low-key.”
“Well, the President, Edythe, likes me and she told me that I should have allies,” Bea said.
Thinking about this I took a deep breath and said, “So, now we know that it’s not just what they tell one of us that matters. We now have to compile what they say to a few of us and decipher what it all really means.”
“Oh yeah, I see,” Bea said, “they’ll tell each of us something different and we gotta put it together to make sense of it. They’re forcing us to work together.”
I nodded. This was going to be more work than I ever thought. Mind games were something.
We pulled into the parking lot that Trisha had been instructed to go to. Four other cars were there waiting. It looked like people were in those cars. None of us in Trisha’s car wanted to exit.
“So what, are we just supposed to sit here?” Bea said.
No one had answers, so we sat. All of a sudden, my cell phone rang. I looked at it and saw it was Penelope. I answered.
“Yes, I understand,” I said to her as she confirmed that we were in a parking lot with four other automobiles.
She gave me twenty minutes to get everyone to a new location. But we had to be in uniform. Once I explained that to the girls in my car, we panicked, thinking there was no way that could happen.
“They want us to go twenty miles from here, and be there in twenty minutes, dressed alike?” Bea said.
“We’ve got to figure out a way to do this,” Trisha said.
I stepped out of the car and motioned for everyone to get out of the other cars too. After I explained our task, everyone was talking at once. There was no way we could devise a plan. We lost two minutes just trying to figure the whole thing out.
So I yelled out, “How many people got a few dollars on them? We gotta pass Wal-Mart heading out of town. Let’s get some white T-shirts. I think six come in a pack or something.”
I looked around and tried to figure out what else we could do. I prayed, “Lord, this may seem crazy to you, but we all want to be successful. Help us figure this out. Please.”
Opening my eyes, I looked at Bea. Her pants looked weird. I saw a tag. So I asked, “Bea, what kind of pants are you wearing?”
“Girl, don’t laugh. I’m wearing my pants inside out.”
“Why?”
“That’s what a Beta told me to do,” Bea said.
“Then that’s the ticket. It doesn’t matter what kind of pants we have on—as long as they’re inside out, they’ll be uniform,” I announced.
Twenty minutes later we arrived at the University of Southeastern Arkansas campus. My stomach dropped worse than when I was on the wildest amusement park ride. I only hoped we could stay on our game.
“We can’t just walk into an empty building on campus like this,” a girl, whose gold chain said Lanna, shouted out.
I smiled. “Yup. We can. Line up. Shortest to tallest. All the lines I saw last year were that way, so they would expect us to enter correctly.”
There were twenty of us. I was number ten in the line. When we walked into the room we couldn’t believe there were ten other girls from the host school lined up tight by height, all wearing nice black jogging suits. There had to be about sixty or seventy Betas scattered throughout. It was crazy. They even had scary music playing in the background, like we were in some horror flick. The Betas were practically salivating, ready to pledge our two lines together.
“You guys couldn’t even be on time,” Keisha said, moving close to us and looking scarier than a witch.
“I heard Keisha is the craziest of them all,” Trisha said from in front of me.
“Who was that?” Bea was number eleven, so she was behind me.
Trisha said, “She’s called the meanest Beta in the state of Arkansas. We’re probably about to get our butts kicked tonight.”
“Who told the fat girl to come in?” Keisha said, as she pulled Bea out of the line and punched her in her gut.
I couldn’t believe I was just standing there and doing nothing. Bea was tough though. She didn’t let out one moan.
“Oh, so that’s not gonna do it. Then how about your whole line pay for me having to look at your bulging stomach? This T-shirt is too short.” Keisha turned and looked at her sorority sisters. “Y’all, because I’m looking at her big self, um, I want a cake. I want to see which of these two lines can get me a cake first.”
The other ten girls got together and headed for the door. “But before you guys can do anything, I want one hundred push-ups, one hundred sit-ups and one hundred jumping jacks from everybody.”
We huddled together. The other group was starting their push-ups. Already we were behind.
“Sorry you guys, my fault. How we gonna do all this and beat them?” Bea said, looking down.
I tapped her on the back as I said, “Well, can anybody draw?”
Trisha raised her hand. She went to her jean backpack and pulled out a drawing pad and showed us all some clothes she sketched. She even had colored pencils. The rest of us were amazed.
I said, “Girl, you came ready. You’re so good. Okay, draw the prettiest cake you can think of. We need to break up in groups. Some of us do push-ups, some do jumping jacks, while the rest do sit-ups. Let’s put Trisha in the middle.”
Fifteen minutes later, we were done. The other group had just left. Bea stood and went over to Keisha.
Keisha said, “What? You just gonna hand me something and not address me?”
Bea didn’t look her in the eye. “What am I supposed to call you?”
“Big Sister Mean Machine,” Keisha said, as she rolled her eyes and neck.
Bea said, “Big Sister Mean Machine, we’ve done our push-ups, our sit-ups and our jumping jacks, and here is your cake.”
“Y’all may not be the coolest looking bunch, but y’all sure got sense,” Keisha told us.
Edythe and Penelope, whom we hadn’t seen the whole time we’d been in the place, came up to us and smiled. We heard the cheers from the Betas, who wore Alpha chapter emblems. The Betas from University of Southeastern Arkansas were upset at the poor performance of their line.
One Beta that was from the other school said, “Keisha, dog their tails out when they come back, embarrassing us like this. Give it to them.”
Big Sister Mean Machine said, “Oh, you ain’t got to worry. No scrub trying to get my letters will be shown up that easily. We just asked them to think. If they can’t use their brains now, then I know they won’t be able to use them later.”
I was so terrified. What was she planning to do? Surely she was all talk and no action, right?
When the other girls came back with a cake from Publix, Keisha cut it and roughly stuffed a piece in each of their mouths, lightly pushing it back as far as it could go.
Suddenly, we heard coughing. Bea hit me and pointed at this girl that was having a tough time. The pledge started choking, and the Betas got scared. They just fled the room. Girls from her line swarmed around her. Some chick from my line started praying out loud. Trisha and Bea ran over and got water from a vending machine.
“I don’t know if I want any part of this,” Lanna called out.
The looks on all our faces reflected our horror and confusion. Cries and screams echoed from the room. I think we all knew we weren’t supposed to be participating in this unsanctioned activity, and now we knew why. We were just starting this pledge stuff. How could the Betas just bail and leave someone choking? None of us were doctors. This was seriously brutal.