5
GIFT
“We’ve got to get Katie to a hospital and get her checked out,” I said to all of the girls on the underground lines with me.
Everyone stepped back to give her room. Trisha got on her cell and tried to call 911. A girl on her line rushed over and knocked the cell out of Trisha’s hand.
“No, no. We can’t take her to a hospital,” she said. “The Betas would get in trouble and we would never be able to be on line.”
I wanted letters, but not at the expense of someone dying. This was insane. Trisha shoved the girl out of the way and picked up her phone, ready to make the call.
Thankfully, one of the girls on the University of Southeastern Arkansas line said she’d interned in a doctor’s office. She thumped the choking girl on her back, and all of a sudden the girl started coughing instead of choking. What a relief!
“Yeah, I’m going to be fine,” the girl said to us moments later as her line sisters looked after her. “You guys have blessed me. You just don’t know. Thanks for not leaving me. I’m quitting this.”
“Alright, well let’s get out of here,” Bea said to me. “Everyone from Western Smith round up. Let’s go.”
Though the girl was fine, I was dumbfounded at what had taken place. The Betas had left without knowing she was going to be okay. What was I signing myself up for?
I thought about Creed’s bruises. I so hoped Creed wasn’t experiencing any of this drama himself. I could only pray he was okay.
Trisha came over to me and said, “Come on, Hayden, let’s get out of here.”
“I know, but ...”
“There’s no buts—we have to get out of here, her line sisters got her,” Trisha said as she grabbed my hand and we waved goodbye.
As soon as we stepped out of the building, it was darkness. I was so angry, if I had seen one of those Beta Gamma Pi girls, I might have had to stuff something down their throats myself. Then all of a sudden bright headlights were shining on us. The Betas hadn’t left after all.
“What are we supposed to do?” one of the girls called out.
Bea said, “We’re going to get in our cars and leave. Do them like they did us. When it all goes down they don’t want to get their hands dirty. What kind of mess is that? Come on, y’all don’t stop, don’t stop.”
But before we could get into our cars, Big Sister Keisha Mean Machine got out of her car and said, “I see you guys got some medical experience in your blood. Well, that’s good. Since you’re so crafty and can work everything out, I’m going to give you a present. We told you at the rush that your packets were due in a week. They better be to us in three days. See ya!”
She got into her car and left. Eight other cars sporting Beta Gamma Pi tags roared out of the parking lot one after another.
One girl said, “How am I going to get my packet together that quickly?”
Looking at our bewildered faces, most of us didn’t know what we were going to do. The way the Betas had handled the trouble they created should have made us all nervous enough not to continue, but it seemed like we all wanted this so bad that no one was running to tell.
We all went back to Bea’s place, since she lived alone, and started working on filling out the questionnaire. Most of my stuff was lined up. I had to have a recommendation letter from a Beta who had been active for three consecutive years; since my mom was the president of her chapter and pretty much knew every Beta in the state, I had all kinds of surrogate aunts willing to write my letter. I felt bad when some girls said they didn’t know anybody. Betas weren’t like any other sorority where you could call up a favor letter. No, they were real particular, especially the ladies from the alumnae chapter. If they didn’t know you, they weren’t writing anything for you. You also had to have a letter of recommendation from a public service organization.
Bea asked, “Hayden, you think the people you worked with will write mine?”
With a syrupy sweet expression, I shook my head. I took working in the community seriously. Whether I became a Beta or not, I wanted to give back. My roommates and I had been serving others all last year when we were freshman. Every Thursday after school we were at the local middle school working with at-risk girls. So getting my service letter wasn’t an issue either. Since my grades were good, getting my transcript wasn’t a problem.
Trisha said, “If I got the grades, I barely made it. I might have to get mine altered.”
“I don’t understand,” I said to her.
“People do it all the time. They get somebody in the registrar’s office to change a few grades to get their GPA up. I think I need higher than a 2.5.”
I said, “Well, if 2.5 is the requirement then they should vote you in.”
“What? Are you kidding me?” Bea cut in. “These girls are ruthless. They’re looking for anything they can to eliminate us. Even if your packet is the best one they have seen, if they don’t want you they’ll find a way to kick you off.” Even after knowing this, we all continued working on our packets late into the night.
The next evening, Creed and I went to the movies. When he called to see me, I had to take him up on it. Just being with him gave me comfort. I couldn’t talk about what I’d been going through with anyone, but when he embraced me as we watched the flick, I could tell he understood.
“Hayden, you’ll be okay,” he leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Know that I think about you every day.”
We were both exhausted, but the touching we did in the dark spoke a million words. The brother cared for me. And thankfully, the Pi’s hadn’t killed him.
When he dropped me off back at my place, the kiss he planted on my lips soothed my soul better than a cup of hot chamomile tea. I knew we wouldn’t see each other often while pledging, but we put some gas in our tank of love to carry us for a while.
Five days after the horrific choking incident, I was sitting in front of thirty Betas for an interview. My mom had prepped me: “Wear a suit. Don’t look too jazzy. Don’t go in there with your face bland, throw on just a bit of makeup, smile after each question, but don’t look too confident or cocky. Wear neutral colors, no red, no pink, no purple or blue.”
My interview was going well. I answered five questions in a row. Every time one of them asked me something I was there, ready with the answer. But when the advisor stepped out of the room you would have thought a barracuda had just attacked me or something.
The President, Edythe, said, “So you just think that you are God’s gift to the world? If you’ve got it going on so well, why do you want to be a Beta?”
“We don’t want her,” Big Sister Keisha Mean Machine screamed out.
Taking a deep breath, I said, “First of all, I do apologize if I have led you all to believe that I think I am all that. I consider myself a very humble person and I’d like to be a member of this organization because of the Betas that I have seen all last year. They were helping people who cannot help themselves, confident in running things within the Student Government Association and they have the best GPA on campus. I’ve had to strive hard to even be a part of this group, but if you make me a member, hopefully you will be confident that I won’t bring you guys down. I’d just be a bonus to a group of girls who already have it going on.”
“Alright now!” Penelope called out.
I saw them mumbling to each other. I guess I gave a pretty good answer. Now I just had to wait and see if I made their line.
“Well, Father,” I prayed aloud, on my knees in my bedroom, “I know it’s been a while since I’ve really talked to You. And if my mother knew I hadn’t been to church all semester I’d certainly be in trouble with her as well. I know You’ve got to be disappointed and I am sorry about that. It’s just school and this line, but You’re God so You know. I haven’t heard anything so I’m a little worried. I wanted to be a Beta, but like always I only want Your will for me. These last few weeks I have certainly seen another side of sorority life that I didn’t even know existed, but I feel firmly from the depths of my soul that this is something that You support. After all, it is an organization founded on Christian principles. If I could just get in, I’d make sure that we get our business back in order. Please Lord, I so want to wear that lavender and turquoise. In Jesus’ name ...”
Before I said Amen, I heard screaming through the house as the front door closed. Somebody had great news. No matter what it was I was going to be supportive.
“What’s going on?” I asked as I peeked outside of my door.
Chandra turned around and said, “Girl, it’s Bridget and Myra. You know what just happened?”
“Yeah, Bridget must have made the MEM line and Myra must have made the Nu one.”
I knew one had good news, but both, already. Chandra saw that it was a bittersweet moment for me. She came over and gave me a hug.
“You know we always girls, right? If them Betas don’t select you it would be the stupidest thing they’ve ever done.”
“Yeah,” I told her, trying to sound like I had put it all in God’s hands. “So far it’s a no.”
“Did you hear anything yet?” Bridget asked as she rushed over and showed me her letter from the MEMs national headquarters. “And look, it’s even on silver and gold stationery.”
“Is she okay?” I overheard Myra asking Chandra.
They were such great roommates. We were all doing our own individual thing, but we had a deep connection to each other. No one wanted to see the others not get what they longed for.
“It’s no big deal. I know everybody is getting their information tonight. Before you ask again, I haven’t gotten a call or a letter. So I probably didn’t make the Beta line, but I’ll be able to help you guys.” I threw my arms around Bridget and Myra.
“Well, I’d like to stay and chat but I’ve got to go. You know I’m praying for you, Hayden. It’s going to work out,” Myra said, an overnight bag in her arms.
“Where you going?” Chandra asked, trying to get all of the scoop. “And I thought sororities didn’t haze?”
“Now, I did not say that I was going to get hazed,” Myra replied quickly.
Bridget said nothing, she just went into her room and packed as well.
“You want to go get some Chinese food?” Chandra asked me.
“Naw.”
“Girl, you cannot stay in here and sulk. I will not have it. Pack your stuff up and let’s go.”
“Well, what if the Betas come looking for me or whatever?” I said, trying to be optimistic.
“If they want you they’ll find you. Plus, you’ve got your cell phone, right?”
She had a point. I had been locked up in the house all day hoping, wishing and praying for some kind of letter saying I was on line. Why should I stay in all night sulking?
We went to our favorite Chinese spot and pigged out. An hour and a half later, I still had not received a phone call as we headed back to our place. As we reached the front door, lights flashed.
“What’s that?” Chandra said, shielding her eyes from the blinding light.
I was already hip to the signal. Someone was here for me. I was scared to believe this could be good news.
“Go on in, Chandra. I think I made it,” I told her as my heart raced.
“You sure you straight?”
“Yeah, bye girl.” We hugged and I walked to the car where the light was coming from.
I knew not to tap on the window or anything and after about three minutes the door opened. I sighed in relief when I saw Penelope. She didn’t say I made it and she looked kind of worried. She just handed me a piece of paper and got back into the car. It was the address for a nearby park. After searching through my purse for my keys, I jumped in my car and was there within minutes. As soon as I got there the lights were on me again and I saw a clear lighted path. I stepped on a lavender colored brick, as a chorus sang from the darkness.
“Congratulations Hayden, you’re the last person to be on the Beta Gamma Pi line. Follow the lavender and turquoise lights to meet your line sisters,” Edythe said.
The singing continued as I walked. It seemed so surreal, so sweet, so precious. My heart was calm and I forgot all the drama I had endured. I felt special being serenaded.
“You are now my sister, no longer just my friend, though you’re just a baby Beta, we’re connected till the end. I will show you the way, our bond will be great, now you will forever have Beta Gamma Pi on your mind. What a blessing you have made line.”
As soon as they were finished singing, I was in a circle formed by a group of girls that I didn’t know. These girls couldn’t be my line sisters. All of the ladies who had been with me during all of the underground stuff were not around. I was hardly able to breathe, I was so excited, but completely devastated that my new-found friends that I had bonded with weren’t with me.
Then I felt a touch and heard a familiar voice. “I’m here, girl,” Bea said.
Trisha said, “Me too.”
The three of us hugged so tight.
“Where is everybody else?” I said, hoping they were around the corner.
“We’re the only three that made it,” Trisha said, as the three of us hugged again. We had a bittersweet moment, crying tears of joy for ourselves. We also cried tears of sorrow for those who didn’t make it. I didn’t know why they weren’t picked. I heard when you participate in underground lines, you’re taking a chance to see if you’ll actually make the real pledge line, but I never thought that rumor to be true. I guess I was wrong.
Bea said, “I guess we better count our blessings.”
I had arrived at the park at one in the morning and I didn’t leave until four AM. I was so tired. I did make it back to my apartment in one piece.
“Thank you, Lord,” I said. “This is exactly what I prayed for and because You honored my request, I know this is going to be a good experience. Help me not to lose my mind on line. I love You, Lord. Thank You and I pray for all of those who didn’t make it. May they keep on knowing that it’ll be okay.”
When I stepped out of the car, I heard a car honk. Now, I was a little nervous. Though our area was secure it was scarcely patrolled by college police. It was after four in the morning and the bushes that surrounded my path made the place look so dark. Who would be honking at me? I already knew the Betas put on their headlights, so I knew it wasn’t them. I walked a little briskly to my door, but then the honking started again and a car started moving in my direction.
“Wait, wait. It’s me,” the faint yet familiar voice called out through the window.
When the car got close enough, I noticed it was Creed’s. “Hey you!”
“You seem alone,” Creed said, looking all around the parking lot. “Hayden, I can’t go to my place. Can I come in? I need to hide out.”
“Yeah, just park your car way down there. I don’t want anyone thinking you’re at my house.”
“Cool, I’ll be right there.”
I never let a guy into my apartment and I knew my dad would be totally angry if he knew I was entertaining a young man at four in the morning. But he was overseas fighting a war and we didn’t exactly see eye to eye on everything. I was in college now, I had to do my thing. If Creed was out this late and couldn’t go back to his place obviously he had good news, and I could tell him I made line too.
When he came through the front door, I wrapped my arms around his neck and my lips found their way to his. I was a little bummed out that he wasn’t hugging me back. Then he put me down and pulled out a bouquet of lilies.
“These are the sorority’s flower,” I said.
“Yeah!”
“How’d you know?”
“You’re not home at this hour of the night, and that could only mean you’re doing what the rest of us are—you’re on somebody’s line. Congratulations girl, I knew you’d make it.”
“I didn’t know I would. How many are on your line?” I asked him.
“Thirteen of us—and you?” he asked.
“It’s sixteen.”
“Cool.”
“Come on.” I pulled him into my bedroom. Thankfully, I had cleaned up since I was home all day long.
“So how did you feel when you found out?” he asked me.
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? I’m a little sore on my bottom, but I feel great,” he teased, as he rubbed his butt.
“It’s just most of the girls we were underground with didn’t make line.”
“That happens all of the time; everyone knows the risk you take. Supposedly the ones who didn’t take part in any of the underground stuff are really going to get it when it really gets down to it, so they won’t be paper. It should balance out. How many of y’all survived?”
“Only three.”
“Dang, they were brutal. On my line, ten of us made it and we only have three new guys.”
“See what I’m saying? How am I supposed to be happy when so many people who wanted this didn’t get it? Why did they choose me?”
“Uh, because you’re beautiful, smart, and you’re fine as I don’t know what,” Creed said, as he pulled my body toward his and we fell onto my bed.
“Okay, soooo you got to go home.”
“I just told you I can’t.”
“What do you mean you can’t?”
“They told us we can’t go home for twenty-four hours. They took our keys. I’m sure they’re staying there. I know when I get back I won’t have a TV, a stereo, food, I might not even have books.”
“Are you serious? Now how is that supposed to make you a better Pi?”
“To figure out how to survive, I guess. I don’t know if all of this stuff is supposed to have some kind of subliminal message to make us better for the organization. Half of it is stupid, but I’m excited to go through the process, you know?”
“But I can’t have some boy in my crib, in the middle of the night, in my bed with me. No.”
“I’m not just some boy, how about I’m your boyfriend.”
“Says who?”
“Says the girl that is going to say yes. You are going to have to help me get through this. These guys are crazy and I need to have something special, someone awesome, and someone all mine. I need to be thinking of you.”
So very excited, I nodded, yes.
He kissed my neck and went to my ear. If I hadn’t been lying down I would have fallen. I was so mesmerized by his touch. Tired in each other’s arms we lay still.
“You’re gorgeous and you’re mine,” Creed said, as we drifted off to sleep. “What a gift!”