thirty-four

Maggie

I head toward home with Leah.

“Thanks for that,” Leah says. “I was gonna miss on purpose. I never liked Kendra.”

I stop and turn to her. “What would you think about Caleb and me as a couple?”

She doesn’t answer. Her non-answer is my answer.

“I’m leaving for Spain in less than two weeks, so you won’t have to see us together for much longer.” My words come out quick and I know she can tell I’m upset. “Leah, something’s gotta give.”

I limp away from her now, but I hear Caleb calling after me.

“Where’s everyone else?” I ask.

“Lenny ended up driving Brian home—he was pretty wasted—and Julio and Trish went with them,” Caleb says. “Listen Maggie. About the game … I’m sorry.” He moves in front of me. “I shouldn’t have forced that situation on you. I just thought we could be a normal couple and—”

“We’ll never be a normal couple, Caleb. We have so much baggage it’s ridiculous.” I hold a hand up when I see he’s about to protest. “I’m living in reality. Reality is that Kendra still wants you in her life and your sister still wants me out of your life—it’s easier on her that way.”

Just thinking about Kendra and Leah is overwhelming right now. “I need to get away from here,” I tell him.

“Where are you going?”

I take out the keys to my car. “Where I always go to think.”

“If it’s any consolation,” he says, “I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks about us being together.”

“I know. I wish I didn’t care, but I do.”

When I get to my car, I immediately head over to Mrs. Reynolds’ house. Lou isn’t there, and neither is the For Sale sign. A sinking feeling forms the pit of my stomach when I think about someone else living in this house.

As I finger the white-painted wood of the gazebo, I think about what I said to Caleb. I know he’s still struggling being at home where he doesn’t feel like he belongs. I saw where he’s been sleeping—on the couch in his living room.

Lenny can’t stay in the Beckers’ house forever. I don’t know why he doesn’t have a home or family to go back to after our Re-START trip, but he’s obviously sleeping at the Beckers’ because he has nowhere else to go.

And Julio was practically begging for a place to stay.

Even though I don’t want to, I need to brace myself for the inevitable. Caleb is in my life temporarily. When I leave for Spain, we’ll be going our separate ways. Should I make the most out of what we have now? Reality is, Caleb will soon be out of my life for good.