- Zeus, the Titans, and Every1 Else -

Zeus

Zeus and Metis are now married.

Zeus

For our wedding present, I want revenge on my father.

Metis

I have an idea. Just do what I tell u, k?

Metis

Hey, Kronos. I got you this magic herb as a gift.

It’s not 1 of your kids or anything, but it’s still pretty delicious.

Kronos

Cool. Thx.

Kronos

That magic herb made me so I just threw up ALL my kids, including that one who looked like a rock! ROTFLMAO

Hades, Poseidon, Hestia, Demeter, Hera, and Rock like this.

Hades: The inside of your stomach was terrifying.

And keep in mind I’m the god of the underworld. SMH.

Hades

Hades, Poseidon, Hestia, Demeter, Hera, and Zeus have created a group: Time to Get Revenge on Dad for Eating Us.

Kronos: Yikes. Ummm. Hi, kids.

I g2g.

Zeus is in charge.

Group text: Oceanus, Hyperion, Koios, Krios, Iapetus

Oceanus

Did you guys see wut just happened? ICYMI, Dad gave all his power 2 our younger siblings. WTF. #FirstBorns

Hyperion

We should be in charge.

Koios

Agreed!

Krios

What should we do?

Iapetus

Let’s take them

Zeus

Hey, Mom, whatever happened 2 those weird brothers & sisters we used 2 have? #Cyclopes #Hekatonkheires

Gaia

They are in

Tartarus

bc ur father couldn’t stand 2 look @ them.

Zeus

Tartarus. U mean that sauce Poseidon puts on his sandwiches? I always thought it tasted funny.

Gaia

No, it’s a PLACE. I’ll send u the address.

Zeus

K, cool. I’m going to free them. #FreeTartarus

Zeus has checked into Tartarus.

Cyclopes and Hekatonkheires like this.

Poseidon

Check out this bad@$$ trident my long-lost siblings made me!

Zeus

Zeus has ordered a T-shirt: I went to Tartarus to free my siblings, and all I got were these lousy lightning bolts.

Hades: Zeus is lit!

Hera:

Hades

And check out my Invisibility Helmet.

Zeus: I can’t anything.

Poseidon: That’s the whole point!

Zeus

Zeus has created an event: Battle to the DEATH: Fourth-Borns vs. Firstborns. #SiblingRivalry

Titans, Cyclopes, and Hekatonkheires are going.

Poseidon: Is this a land thing? Ugh. Why is everything always on LAND???

Poseidon

What’s going on? I can’t see anything from here.

Hera

We are winning!

Poseidon

Hera

Now we are losing!

Poseidon

Hera

Wait—we are winning again!

Poseidon

Zeus

We won! Way 2 go, Fourth-Borns! Titans, you are 4ever banished to Tartarus. And, Hekatonkheires, I want u 2 stay there & guard them.

Atlas: Wasn’t the whole point of this 2 free ur siblings from Tartarus?

Zeus: That’s enough out of you, person I’m related to but not sure how. Go hold this super-heavy sky thing 4ever on ur shoulders.

Atlas: You mean that globe?

Zeus: It’s not a globe! It’s the heavens!!

Atlas: It looks like a globe. Ppl are going 2 think it’s a globe.

Zeus: That’s ENOUGH. Just do as I say.

Atlas: Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn u….

Iapetus

Son, check it out. You’re trending! #FreeAtlas

Atlas

*Shrugs* NBD.