- Leto and Niobe -

Zeus

Zeus is now in a relationship with Leto.

REPLY

Hera:

Leto

Leto has registered for “His and Hers Cribs” at Mount Olympus Baby: Where the Prices Are Heroic #Artemis #Apollo

REPLY

Leto

Hey. I am going 2 have the twins any day now.

Did u find somewhere safe 4 me to give birth?

Zeus

Well…Hera is jealous again, u being my new wife & all, and kinda forbade all the lands on from letting u give birth.

Leto

WHAT?!?! I’m not going 2 do some kind of weird water birth, if that’s what ur thinking.

Zeus

Don’t freak out—there is this 1 little island, Delos, that doesn’t *technically* fall under her rule.

Leto

Fine. What’s there?

Zeus

Leto

Yeah, what else?

Zeus

Um, that’s it. Delos is literally a tiny island with one palm tree.

Leto

FML

Zeus

That reminds me! Did u register 4 baby things yet?

Leto

Just finished, y?

Zeus

No reason.

Leto

What did you buy?

Zeus

It’s not important.

Leto

Tell me. Did you buy the twins something dangerous?

Zeus

Just, like, one itty, bitty, tiny silver bow. And a quiver of arrows. Each.

Leto

*facepalm*

Zeus

Before u lose it, me out. Artemis’s arrows r soft & painless! They’ll cause happy deaths!

Leto

GREAT. Now I’m totally OK with this! #FatherOfTheYear

Zeus

But…

Leto

Spit it out.

Zeus

Apollo’s are—how do I put this?—rock hard and piercing like rays of the .

Leto

Ugh. And ppl think Hephaestus is a terrible husband.

Leto

I love my kids SO much. Artemis & Apollo, u guys mean the 2 me! #ProudMama

REPLY

Niobe: Oh, u only have 2 kids? That’s so sad! I have 14 kids. Family is so important to me. #Blessed

Apollo: You mean you HAD 7 sons before you posted that super obnoxious msg.

Artemis: And you HAD 7 daughters before you came @ my mom.

Leto: Guys, did u 2 just kill all of Niobe’s kids?

Apollo: Mom, she was talking crap about u!!!

Artemis: What were we supposed 2 do?

Niobe: WAHHHHHHH

Random Gods: Niobe, don’t be ! We can help! We’ll turn u into a rock so u don’t feel feelings anymore! (But watch out 4 Kronos, cos he might try and eat u.)

Niobe

Even as a rock, water flows from me like tears.

REPLY

Artemis: Why is that rock all wet?

Apollo: I could make a joke…but I won’t.