- Otis and Ephialtes -

GodBod

Otis is now 99.9% muscle.

Ephialtes is now 99.9% muscle.

Group text: Gaia, Otis, Ephialtes
Poseidon
Did you guys just go through another growth spurt? You’re almost as big as ur old man!
Otis
I’m about 60 feet now. NBD
Ephialtes
Same. But if we keep growing, no1 will want 2 date us.
Poseidon
True. But no1 will want 2 overthrow u, either!
Otis
That’s true, I guess. But I’m kind of into Artemis.
Ephialtes
Yeah. She could overthrow me any day.
GAIA

Still pretty pissed @ Zeus 4 sending my kids to Tartarus…and can’t help but notice how big Otis & Ephialtes have gotten. I wonder if I could convince them 2 overthrow Zeus….Here goes nothing!

Group text: Gaia, Otis, Ephialtes
Gaia
Hey, guys. Any chance u’d be interested in helping me take Zeus?
Otis
That’s a great idea! Why don’t we pile those 2 on top of each other and if we can make a sweet NEW the size of Olympus?
Ephialtes
YESSS! THAT!
Gaia

Otis and Ephialtes have checked into Enormous New Mountain to Rival Olympus.

Gaia likes this.

Zeus: WTF?! Is this for real?

Ephialtes: Yep! #NoFilter

Zeus: NOT WHAT I MEANT

Otis: Check ur

Group text: Ephialtes, Otis, Artemis, Hera, Zeus, Ares, Apollo
Ephialtes
Surrender, Zeus! We’re going to rule the now.
Otis
Yeah! And also I want 2 ur daughter Artemis.
Ephialtes
Yeah, and I want 2 marry ur wife Hera.
Artemis
*facepalm*
Hera
*rolls eyes*
Zeus
R u sure that’s what u want? R u sure u don’t want ALL THESE FIERY THUNDERBOLTS HURLED AT YOUR FACE?!
Ares
A fight! HECK YES! I’m in.
Ephialtes
More like you’re in…this tiny little bronze jar I just captured you in.
Ares
Whaaaa??? Help! I’m trapped!!
And I can barely get a signal.
Otis
Lol. Good work, bro.
Ephialtes
Thanks, bro.
Apollo
Must I be the voice of reason? Srsly? No one is able 2 kill us, remember?
Otis
Well, we’ll find out soon enough, won’t we?
Apollo
I don’t have 4 this. Artemis, what do u think we should do? <wink, wink>
Artemis
Right. Uh, Otis, yes, I totally want 2 marry you. And I’m not just saying that bc it’s part of a much larger plan.
Otis
Whoa! And I thought this was going 2 b hard lol.
Artemis
Yeah. Uh, I’m so in w/ u even tho we just met via this awkward txt chain. Let’s run away together 2 the of Naxos. Which BTW is a random I have chosen just now. Because romance.
Otis
Great! See u there. xo
Ephialtes
So, Hera, do u have anything u want 2 say?
Hera
Oh, there is plenty I want 2 say. But nothing u want to , trust me.
Ephialtes
Sigh.
Otis
Don’t be sad, bro. You can run away w/ me & my beautiful and it won’t be weird at all!
Ephialtes
If u say so. #ThirdWheel
Otis
Hey. Did u that creepy white deer?
Ephialtes
Totally. Was just about 2 txt u the same thing!
Otis
Let’s kill it w/ our manly javelins.
Ephialtes
Sweet.
dingbat
Otis
OMG you just hit me w/ ur javelin!!!
Ephialtes
More like YOU just hit ME w/ ur javelin!
Otis
OMG! I’m, like, dying!
Ephialtes
Me 2.
Otis
Want to who can bleed out first?
Ephialtes
Totally
Otis
I’m winni
Ephialtes
No, I’m w

GodBod

Otis now has pulse rate of 0 beats per minute.

Ephialtes now has pulse rate of 0 beats per minute.

Otis and Ephialtes have checked into Tartarus.

Artemis
Lol, can some1 pls tie them up w/ angry so they never escape? That’d be great. Thx.
All the gods
Yay, Artemis!
Ares
Little help here, pls?
Still trapped in this bronze jar….