- Orion -
Orion
Hey, Artemis. Sry about my idiotic brothers, Otis & Ephialtes. I worship u & would never disrespect u.
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Artemis
Good 2 know. U still into hunting?
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Orion
Am I into hunting?? I am literally the 2nd best hunter in all of ancient Greece!
Artemis
2nd best?
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Orion
After u.
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#HumbleBrag
Artemis
Well played, sir. U still have that beautiful jeweled sword?
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Orion
YOU MEAN THIS JEWELED SWORD?
Artemis
Lol, I wasn’t sure what u were going 2 send me.
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Orion has checked into Island of Chios.
King of Chios
How did u get here w/o a
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?
Orion
NBD I can walk on water. #ForRealTho
King of Chios
GTFO! That is so bad@$$! Can u also hunt? This island is covered in
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and
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!
Orion
Nvmd. I can kill them.
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But it will cost u.
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King of Chios
Gr8! In exchange, u can have my daughter’s hand.
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Orion
No thx. I have 2 already & she prob needs it.
King of Chios
Lol, ur so funny. I meant u can marry her.
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Orion
Sweet. I was goin 2 ask 4 a novelty key chain
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or tiny snow globe
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, but that works 2.
Orion
So when can I marry ur daughter?
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King of Chios
I changed my mind. Also, there might still be 1
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left bc I
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growling.
Orion
That is the sound of ur lies, King of Chios! I will kidnap the
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& run away w/ her…or at the very least ask her 2 dinner.
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King of Chios
Wait! Wait! Instead of getting
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, let’s just have a drink.
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Orion
That sounds like a trick
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…but I am kinda thirsty. *Cheers*
King of Chios
Keep refilling his
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until he is
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. Then blind him.
Orion
WTF?! Kng of Chios, u wil pay 4 ur treachery! I wil regain my
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by staring in2 the
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—which I kno doesnt make sens at all but
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me tryy!
& dont even bothr writng back, bc I can’t see ur msgs anywway. U jerk.
Hephaestus
Oh no. What happened, Orion?
Orion
I can’t
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ur txts, but if u happn 2 b Hephaestusss & r askng how u can help, send me a Cyclops 2 lead me 2 #TheRisingSun.
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Hephaestus
Consider it done.
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Orion
Again, IDK wut u wrote, but if u sed OK, thx.
Hephaestus
Trust me. I know what it’s like 2 have girl problems.
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Orion has checked into The Rising Sun.
Orion
I can see again!
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King of Chios
Oh
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. G2g!
King of Chios has posted to the marketplace: “Large, beautiful palace for sale by owner. Motivated seller!”
Orion has checked into Empty Chios Palace.
Orion
Well, that sux. The king is gone. How will I get my revenge?
Artemis
IDK. Want 2 go hunting 2gether all over the
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?
Orion
Sure!
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Orion and Artemis have updated their status to: BEST friends.
Apollo has added Deadly Scorpion to his cart.
Artemis
Ur such a weirdo sometimes.
Artemis
WTF, Apollo! I just found Orion dead!
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FROM A SCORPION STING!
Apollo
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That would b an awesome band name.
Artemis
ANSWER ME! DID YOU KILL ORION?
Apollo
Sorry not sorry. He was getting way 2 close 2 u.
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Artemis
Well, maybe I liked it, Apollo. Maybe 4 ONCE I liked having a relationship w/ a
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who wasn’t RELATED TO ME.
Apollo
Ur right. I messed up. I just get so jealous.
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Is there any way I can make it
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2 u?
Artemis
No. But I would like u 2 help me turn Orion into a constellation of
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so he can be remembered always.
Rest in peace, dear friend xo
Apollo likes this.