- Oedipus -

Oracle of Delphi
FYI, I had a prophecy this morning that ur son will u & marry ur , Jocasta. Just thought u should know.
King Laius
STFU! R u sure it wasn’t food poisoning from leftover Pelops Stew?
Oracle of Delphi
I have literally nvr been wrong about anything in my entire life.
King Laius
FML
dingbat
King Laius
Hey, you work for me, right? Can u do me a favor? I need u 2 bring my son, Oedipus, out into the & kill him.
Servant
Ur newborn ? WTF?!
King Laius
Do it. Or else I’ll kill u instead.

Servant and Oedipus have checked into Deep, Dark Forest in Corinth.

Corinthian Shepherd has checked into Deep, Dark Forest in Corinth.

Oracle of Delphi
FYI, u r destined 2 kill ur father & marry ur mother. Just thought u should know, now that u r all grown & everything.
Oedipus
OMG, what?! Do u have the wrong guy??? My name is actually pronounced w/o the 1st “O” so ppl mix me up w/ Edipus from the next town over.
Oracle of Delphi
YES. YOU. You’ll kill ur dad and marry ur mom.
Oedipus
The King and Queen of Corinth?! Say it ain’t so! I my parents so much! I must run away & never come back.
dingbat
King Laius
Out for a stroll in the . I’ll be gone for a while. I take my strolls very srsly. Nobody better try to get in the way of my STROLL!!!
Jocasta
Lol, you and your strolls!
OEDIPUS

Just got in2 the biggest fight w/ these jerks trying 2 push me off the path on my way 2 Thebes. It turned in2 an all-out brawl & I ended up killing all but 1 guy!!! One of them was wearing a crown. Which IMHO is kind of weird for just a normal guy out on a stroll. #SelfDefense #QuestionMark

Finder

IT’S A MATCH!

Oedipus and Jocasta have liked each other.

Send Message

The Sphinx has checked into City Wall Outside Thebes.

Oedipus has checked into City Wall Outside Thebes.

The Sphinx
What r u looking @? Haven’t u ever seen an enormous winged monster with a female head + a lion’s body b4?
Oedipus
Can’t say that I have.
The Sphinx
Well, get outta here. I am vry obviously guarding this gate & eating any1 who tries 2 go in or out!!!
Oedipus
Well, I want 2 get thru.
The Sphinx
The only way u can get thru is if u can answer my riddle: What walks on 4 feet in the morning, 2 feet at noon, and 3 feet in the evening?
Oedipus
I know. It’s a person! As a child, we crawl on 4 legs. As an adult, we walk on 2 feet. And when we’re old, we often walk w/ a cane.
The Sphinx
NOOOOOO!!!!! U r correct & I have therefore lost all my powers. There is nothing 4 me 2 do now except plummet 2 a violent death.
Oedipus
And there is nothing 4 me 2 do now except be welcomed as a hero & marry ur beautiful and conveniently newly widowed queen, Jocasta.

HermesList

WANTED: If anyone has information involving King Laius’s murder, please notify local authorities immediately. Information leading to the arrest and conviction of his murderer will result in a 10,000 drachma reward.

REPLY

Do NOT contact us with unsolicited services or offers. Posted by Oedipus

Servant: I was w/ King Laius when he was waylaid on his stroll.

Oedipus: Tell me who killed him.

Servant: Promise not to get mad?

Oedipus: Yeah. Just say it.

Servant: Okay. It was you.

Oedipus: WTF?!

Servant: Also, I was the one who left you in the as a , and I saw the King and Queen of Corinth take you in. I was going to tell u the truth about ur past, but I guess I just never got around to it.

Oedipus: FML

Jocasta
Oedipus, r the rumors true? That ur rly my long-lost son???
Oedipus
I don’t know how to tell u this…but yes.
Mom?
Hellooo?
dingbat
Antigone
Dad, I just Mom killed herself.
Oedipus
This is absolutely awful. I can’t believe I caused all this pain. I will put out my own as I said I would do 2 the traitor responsible 4 killing King Laius. I guess u can’t escape ur own destiny.
Antigone
Wut r u going 2 do now?
Oedipus
Probably just wander the endlessly telling my story.