AFTER UNIQUE DROPS us off, Donna rushes out of the car and bursts into the house, yelling, “I won, bitches!”
She opens the door wide to make way for my grand entrance. But Pri and Chantal are not in the living room—it’s Matant Jo and the four men who were here weeks ago. One of them is counting a pile of cash on the coffee table. Deep in concentration, he doesn’t even look up.
“Oh, nice,” Matant Jo says in her deep voice. “Donna’s trying to make you her Barbie doll?”
Pri and Chantal hear the shouting and come down—one shaking her head, the other with her mouth open.
Donna pulls me up the stairs and into her bedroom, where it’s a frenzy of finding the right outfit for my very new hair and my very new face. Again, I put on a dress, pose for pictures, change into jeans, pose for more pictures. And finally, I’m settled in a pair of tight black pants and an even tighter denim shirt that makes my breasts look much bigger than they really are.
I don’t argue with Donna. I let her win. Because tonight, I will be the Ezili-Danto that she is too afraid to be.
We hear the heavy bass from Dray’s car outside, and Donna changes her outfit for the twentieth time. It’s Dray’s birthday, she tells me again. She has to look perfect.
Before we leave, Chantal grabs my arm and says, “Don’t change, Fabiola. Be yourself. You don’t have to do none of this.”
I smile, nod, and follow Donna to Dray’s car. Kasim is there waiting, too.
He doesn’t smile when he sees me. He looks confused. He doesn’t hug me or kiss me; he just stares at my very long fake hair, my long eyelashes, my too-red lipstick, and my perfect eyebrows.
I kiss him, take his hand, and ease into the dark space of the car.
The building where Dray’s having his party is like a giant Petwo drum that pulses with a heavy rhythm. I feel like I have entered the underworld.
“What’s up with that new weave?” Kasim asks as he takes my hand.
“Do you like it?” I ask, gently tossing the hair over my shoulder like I’ve seen Donna do many times.
“No” is all he says. “But I like you.”
I feel so bad that Kasim is confused by the new me, but I’m not here for him. Not tonight.
“Don’t let Detroit change you,” Kasim says into my ear. His warm breath against my face makes my whole body tingle. “I know you’re not used to this. If you wanna leave, just say the word.”
I shake my head and gently push him away.
A large group of people greet Dray in all different ways—girls kiss him on the cheek, guys slap his hand and hug him with one arm.
This party is different from the one at Q’s club. The beat changes and everyone raises their hand and starts swaying to the music. Kasim starts to recite the words and I wish I knew the words, too.
Dray looks my way and our eyes meet. Kasim puts his arm around me and pulls me in close while we walk toward Dray and Donna.
“You look good, cuzz. Finally. I’m glad you came to your senses,” Donna says to me as I reach her side.
I lean in toward her. “Kasim doesn’t like it, but all the other boys do,” I say as I keep my eyes on Dray. He looks at me again. This time, he smiles and winks because Donna is turned away from him.
“Kasim is nice and all, but honestly, he’s a cornball,” Donna says.
Dray doesn’t take his eyes off me.
“I like him. He’s nice” is all I say. Then Kasim goes over to stand next to Dray, and he looks at me, too.
I quickly turn away, afraid to see any hurt in Kasim’s eyes. I almost don’t want to be with him here; I’m in battle. There’s no room for love in this war.
Then I recognize the fat guy from the doorway at Q’s. He approaches Dray and says something in his ear. My heart skips because Dray changes. He looks around, shifts his weight from foot to foot, pounds a fist into his palm. I nudge Donna, who keeps her eyes on what’s going on, too.
Dray comes toward us. He digs into his pocket and pulls out his keys and phone and hands them to Donna. He kisses her on the cheek. Kasim steps over to me, smiling.
“You gonna be all right?” he asks.
“Where are you going?”
“I’ll be right back. Just gotta take care of these dudes trying to start shit in the front.” He gives my hand a squeeze before he walks away.
Donna puts Dray’s keys in her purse and fidgets with his phone as she leads me to the bathroom.
The music is muted in here. I can finally breathe a little. In the mirror, I look more like Donna’s twin than Pri. Unique gave us the same hairstyle, and our faces are similar with our deep-set eyes and high cheekbones. Donna leans against the wall, still playing with Dray’s phone.
“Why did he give you his phone, anyway?” I ask.
She puts the phone and her purse down near the sink. “If Kasim ever gives you his phone to hold for him, then you’ll know it’s legit.”
When she goes into the stall, I grab the phone and slide the home screen open before it locks. I glance into the mirror to watch Donna’s feet underneath the door. Someone comes in, but I ignore her. I check Dray’s messages and scroll up really fast. I see the word Ka and know that it’s Kasim. I scan the messages that say: Come thru. Where you at? What’s good? Got it. The spot. And once, Fab. She cool.
Donna starts peeing. I scroll down until I find a set of numbers instead of a name. I click on the message: Come thru the spot on Anderdon on the east side tomorrow. Be ready with my shit.
Donna is pulling up her pants. The phone buzzes and a new text comes in: You letting them niggas in son?
Donna flushes the toilet and I quickly turn off the screen and put the phone back on the counter.
“Did some bitch just text him?” she asks as she washes her hands.
I shrug.
She takes his phone and checks the text.
“Do you think he’s cheating on you?” I ask.
She dries her hands, sighs, and says, “No.”
I go into one of the stalls, shut the door, pull out my phone, and text Detective Stevens: Something is happening tomorrow on Anderdon on the east side.
It’s proof. This is what I need to get my manman home.
Kasim is standing by the bathroom door when I come out. He kisses me on the cheek and leans in to say, “Come on. We got a VIP booth. I wanna toast Dray and then we could bounce. I can tell this ain’t your vibe. Dray said I could take his car.”
The VIP booth is lined with red and blue lightbulbs. Donna sits down next to Dray on a long narrow couch. Other girls surround them, too, but Donna doesn’t seem to care. In front of them is a small table holding a big birthday cake. It’s Dray’s twenty-first birthday. He’s holding a bottle in one hand and a glass in the other. Dray stares at me for a long minute before he offers the glass to me.
“Fabulous, come here,” he says.
I walk over to him and take the glass.
He picks up another glass and offers it to Kasim. Soon, we’re both standing around Dray, his cake, his girls, and his boys raising our glasses of champagne.
“I wanna shout out my man Kasim,” Dray says over the music. “I think he found the one.”
Kasim puts his arm around me and kisses me on the cheek. But out of the corner of my eye, I can tell that Dray keeps looking at me as he sips his champagne. I don’t drink any of it. Instead, I place the full glass on the table next to Dray’s cake. Donna is too busy talking and laughing with the other girls to notice when I leave the VIP booth with Kasim.
We’re out of the club and in Dray’s car. Again, I’m in Donna’s seat, on the passenger side.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask Kasim when I notice that he’s driving toward the tall buildings downtown. We’re on Livernois, and before long, after a few turns, we’re on Atwater Street pulling into a parking lot. I can see the dark stretch of water greeting me in the distance. I smile because rivers are Ezili’s home. Kasim comes around to open the door for me, and he places his coat over my shoulders.
The air is cold and sharp. There are tall and wide buildings on one side of the street and trees, walkways, and the river on the other side. It’s as if they were building this city until it reached the very edge of the river here. I pull up the hood of the coat and pull down the sleeves over my bare hands. When we reach the brightly lit walkway near the river, Kasim’s phone rings and he answers it.
“Yo, man, I just had to take Fab home right quick. I’ll be back soon—just save a bottle for me. . . . What?” He takes the phone away from his ear. “Fab, Dray wants to talk to you.”
My stomach twists. I start to shake my head, but I change my mind. I take his phone. “Hello?”
“Why you gotta bounce like that, Fab? Your cousin’s looking all over the place for you. I invited you to celebrate my birthday with me. I dropped some coins just so you look good for my boy. And you just gonna leave without saying shit?”
“I didn’t feel well.” I glance at Kasim, who is holding his head down with both hands in his pockets. “Tell Donna I’m sorry.”
“Oh, tell Donna you’re sorry? Even though it was my party? Okay.”
I don’t say anything and Kasim sees my face, so he takes the phone from me.
“Yo, Dray, I’ll check you in a few, a’ight? Happy birthday, man.” Kasim inhales long and deep and puts the phone in his pocket. “Dray just looks out for me, that’s all. Don’t matter if it’s dudes or girls—he just has my back.”
I turn to head back to the car. “Take me home.”
“No. Not yet,” he says, and grabs both my hands and pulls me in. “Can we just chill for a minute?”
I lean into him. He eases his arms around my waist and my whole body warms. I rest my head on his shoulder. But he steps back and takes my face and kisses my forehead, then kisses me long and deep.
I am two sides of the same coin. Ezili has made all of me like honey—sweet, sticky, and oozing under Kasim’s hold. But Ezili-Danto has lit a fire inside of me—with rage in my heart and a dagger in my hand, I want nothing more than to slice away this sore named Dray so I can free Donna and get my mother back.