FOUR MONTHS AGO
She said she loved me.
As I closed the door, Dae said she loved me, and I didn’t know if I should have believed her. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. That she-hobbit lied all the time meant that I couldn’t trust her.
She was in tears, and I couldn’t see her cry for another minute, or I would have doubted my decision. I pushed her out of my home and my life. Once I closed the door, I thought she would go, but she didn’t. Dae remained by my door, crying for a long while. Little did she know, I was crying with her on the other side of that door. I had my head against the wood, with a hand over my mouth to keep myself from making a sound, but my pain-filled tears couldn’t stop falling.
I couldn’t control it. I needed to drown out the cries somehow, so I turned on the TV, hoping she wouldn’t hear me. Dae finally left my door, but I heard her scream soon after. I saw through a corner of my window how she fell to her knees and cried her heart out. It fucking hurt.
At first, I wasn’t completely sure if she was honest, but the way her body shook out of control on the sidewalk couldn’t have been faked. Okay, she wasn’t completely lying.
I became concerned about her. I worried I had been too harsh, that I was a jerk. A minute of her hyperventilating passed, and I was about to open my door and hug her when she stood.
Dae walked barefoot to her car and then to the garage. I moved to a window closer to the garage and heard her cry again. This was painful now, but I had to push her out of my life for my own good and hers.
It fucking felt wrong.
I didn’t like how hard this was becoming for her. She wasn’t supposed to become so emotional. I didn’t think she would. Maybe I should have let her talk as she wanted and then let her down gently. I supposed I wasn’t willing to allow her to persuade me. I didn’t think I could be strong enough. The feeling of her skin on mine would have changed my mind in one minute, and I would have let her step over me once more.
Breaking up with Dae was the right thing. She treated me like shit, and I wasn’t what she needed. Dae was on her way to greatness, and I would do nothing but hold her back, even when I didn’t want to. I wanted a family; she wanted a fancy career. It wouldn’t work either way.
Dae had walked like a zombie back to the garage, rubbing her eyes, and as soon as she entered, I heard a rumble. There was a metallic sound followed by her curses, and I knew she must have fallen again. That midget was fucking mayhem. I wanted to go out and ensure she hadn’t killed herself, but I didn’t. I heard things moving around, telling me she wasn’t dead yet before she cried once more.
Okay, she was definitely not taking this well, even worse than me. Dae ran to her car with the last box, then oddly went back to the garage. There was another set of rumbles before Dae peeked her head out like a meerkat and then stepped out with the fucking monster costume in her hands.
“How the fuck did she. . .”
I forgot that thing was there. Dae clumsily dropped it and then struggled to pick it back up. That crazy woman put the smiling monster mask on and ran.
“She lost her shit!” I murmured, pulling my beard.
With my amused eyes, I followed that small girl with that huge monster mask as she toddled away from her car. Dae tripped with the thing and face-planted in the middle of my lawn under the pouring rain. I had to cover my mouth with a fist so as not to laugh.
I forgot how easily fucking Dae and her crazy shit could make me smile. She stood, dragged the costume to her car, and left.
And like that, she was gone. I told myself I would be okay, but I wasn’t. That short woman took with her part of my heart, and I felt the void.
She had me worried sick about her. Sitting in my living room with my head in my hands, I anxiously stared at the clock. After a while, I reached for my phone and texted Aanya.
Mark
I pressed the send button, dropped my head back in my hands, and wept. I should have sent her home. If she got hurt, I wouldn’t forgive myself. Aanya’s reply was simple, and I let myself breathe.
Aanya
For weeks after that, I was useless. I went from work to sleep and then back to work. Life lost its charm, and I felt empty. Jemal saw me moping around and told me I couldn’t continue that way.
We had a crazy impulse and went to buy bikes, learned how to ride them and got a license. Once we had everything ready, we went for long drives. Being outdoors and visiting different places distracted me. But as soon as I was alone with my head on my pillow, I missed the small set of arms that would wrap around my chest. I missed the feeling of her breasts on my skin and the softness of her legs between mine. It was hell.
Sometimes, I would go riding by myself. Jemal was dating someone, so he couldn’t be out with me all the time. I would meander through the back roads, watching how the trees changed colors throughout the fall, then return home and sit on my sofa.
I was lonely, but I held myself back like a champion. Not even drunk, I wanted to go to Dae or call her. That meant jerking off every morning to the thought of her pussy pulsing around me. Every time I finished, I would put an arm under my head, lay back on my bed, and wait for her to text.
Dae texted me almost religiously, around the same time in the morning. She would tell me small things about her and ask questions. I avoided it, but I would sometimes answer with a single word. I didn’t want her to think she could crawl back into my life. The only time I texted her first was on her birthday.
Occasionally, I would text Aanya and ask her how Dae was really doing. She said she was doing great, going out, meeting friends, and cooking. Aanya said Dae had nailed it at work but wanted to move elsewhere and find new opportunities. That sort of hurt. I was still a fucking mess, and she was moving on with her life. Letting her go hurt like hell, but it had proven to be for the best.
After work, as usual, I went to sit by myself on my sofa with a half-full cup of coffee and mindlessly stared at the TV, hoping time would pass faster when I got a call. It was Dae.
With the phone clutched in my hand, I stared at her name and held my breath. She hadn’t called me before, so I didn’t know what to expect. I let it ring until it stopped. Dae called me back-to-back, and again, I stared at it but didn’t answer.
Knowing Dae, for sure, it was something stupid. Why would she want to mess with me after so long? It was hard enough trying to forget her, and she then began that shit?
Gathering some courage, I called her back. I was ready to tell her off, to not have her mess with my mind like this, but I was wrong. I answered as dryly as possible, but soon, my heart took a nosedive.
Her voice.
I had missed her voice with every cell in me. Dae began by saying something stupid, and I assumed I was right before and she was playing with me. I was about to end the call, not wanting to fall for it, when she talked more. I refused to believe she was serious and was about to send her the fuck away and hang up the phone when she said she was driving and knew something was wrong.
There was a storm outside, and her car was shit. What she described sounded as if her alternator had failed.
I paused as I thought about it. She was out in a storm with a broken-down car and in the cold. Fucking Dae got herself into trouble once more. I asked her where she was, and she didn’t know. That wasn’t unexpected.
She texted me her location so I could go pick her up. Dae was far north, and it would take me hours to reach her.
“What are you doing that far?” I asked, and her voice shook as if she was cold. My heart plummeted. Her car was dead, so she had no way of getting heat. She wasn’t safe.
“Wait, how long have you been there for?” I inquired with my heart racing and feeling sick to my stomach. Dae first beat around the bush. When she answered, she lied. God knew how long she had been sitting on her ass in the cold.
She was in danger, and I was too fucking far. As I got to my feet, I felt my rage grow. I almost fucking hung up on her, and she needed me.
“Fuck!”
In an outburst of anger, I smashed my cup on the floor and headed out. “Hang in there. I’m on my way.” I hung up, grabbed my keys and my coat, put my boots on, and rushed out. Thankfully, my truck already had the snowplow attached. I had put it on in case I got called by the town to help clear the roads.
I sat in the driver’s seat, wanting to punch myself in the dick. My fucking stupidity almost put her in greater danger. It terrified me, remembering how useless I felt when I couldn’t save that child. If something happened to her, I wouldn’t live through it.
I sped down the icy road like a lunatic, fearing she wouldn’t make it. She had to be freezing, so I heated the seats and turned up the heat in the truck. When I arrived, she hopped out of her car, looking well. To think I was worried sick, ready to rush her to the ER if needed.
On edge, I stepped out of the truck and avoided her. “Get your things and go sit in the truck,” I ordered, wanting her to be in a warm place as soon as possible, but she stayed beside me.
I was only seconds away from embracing her and holding her close to me, but if I did, all the pain I had endured to move on from her for the previous four months would have been in vain. I didn’t want to go back on my word and allow her to stomp over me again. Besides, Dae could still do better than me.
A rage boiled in my chest, and I avoided looking at her, not wanting to lash out and show her my fucking temper. I had suppressed this aspect of myself and hated that it came out when she needed me the most.
“The keys,” she said, and I reached back. Dae placed the keys in my hand, letting her fingers touch me. They were frozen. She didn’t have a proper coat or boots and was trembling. Still, she stood outside for me. What for? That woman. She looked sad as fuck. Why the hell hadn’t she gotten in the truck? I got so angry I yelled at her, “Go to the truck now!” and she went in.
After securing the car, I sat in my seat, slammed the door closed, and breathed. I had been so fucking worried about her, so angry with myself. It was as if the adrenaline rush had ended, and I could stop tensing. Dae was safe beside me.
I glanced her way. She had her head low and was looking woeful. I sighed, and she turned her head toward me. I missed them, Dae’s gorgeously brown Asian eyes. They were hypnotizingly beautiful. My sight dropped to her blue lips; she was so cold.
Without realizing it, I lifted a hand and touched them. Those were the lips I wanted to taste, to softly kiss until I took her breath away. Seeing those lips smiling first thing in the morning was what I thought could make me truly happy, but not to her. I, along with all my love, wasn’t enough for her. I averted my eyes from her before losing it, before I kissed her.
“Drink the fucking water.” That was harsh. She was about to cry. I was furious with myself for treating her that way, but I still thought we didn’t belong together.
“I’m sorry for this. I promise I’ll pay you. . .” Dae held back her tears.
“You were in danger, Dae!” I screamed, losing my composure. “What if I couldn’t get to you?” In a slip, I let it show—my fear. Wanting to get her out of the storm, I agreed to take her wherever she wanted, and I didn’t even ask where. At that point, I just needed her safe.
Dae asked about her car, and I told her I would take it to my dad’s. She called him Dan as if they were friends. Dae had never done that before, and I found it odd.
I would be trapped with her for hours, so I couldn’t give her an inch. I had to avoid talking too much with her. She tried to speak to me, but I cut her off before she could finish.
“Oh, that’s not it,” she uttered, and I paid little attention. “I miss. . . I miss you,” Dae confessed, and I froze. By how much I stiffened up, she could tell how affected I was by those words.
“I miss you like crazy. Do you—” I cut her words short, stopping her before she said them. I couldn’t hear them.
“I have a girlfriend, Dae.” I was desperate, so I lied.
“Ah, fuck!” Dae cursed, and then she got lost in her own thoughts. I thought that would shut her up, but it made her cry.
Damn it!
I felt like a jackass, not knowing if I should be nicer or stand my ground. This was messed up. I fucking hated it when she cried, but I couldn’t show it.
Dae first faked being okay, making small talk. I could only hope to keep up with all the lies I was making up. She randomly murmured something I couldn’t hear, and then, as if she had lost her mind, she smiled. That was when I knew I was in trouble. Dae didn’t give a shit about me having an imaginary girlfriend.
She began asking questions, and I knew I was in deep shit. I avoided telling her anything important and picked a common, easy-to-remember name. To mess with Dae and keep her away, I told her my pretend girlfriend was everything I needed from her and didn’t get.
I was keeping it together until she asked me if I loved her. Dae was the only woman I loved, and I feared she would always be. Nevertheless, I nodded. I had to keep the lie afloat.
“Do you love her less or more than what you loved me?” Dae asked, not knowing I would never love anyone more than I loved her. She would know if I answered, so I didn’t.
“Does she like the beach at night?” that jerk asked, and my brain stopped. The image of Dae’s tight pussy taking me in and her legs trembling had me almost getting a hard-on. If only she knew I had jerked off to that moment countless times, to her eyes rolling back and her mouth stuffed with my cock.
“That was one of the best days of my life. I came so fucking hard.” She bit her lip, and I wanted to park the truck and fuck her until she convulsed around me.
Fuck!
I was wrong. Dae knew how to climb my walls. I felt my face heating. Maybe if I ignored her, she would shut up.
“If I knew you had moved on, I wouldn’t have waited. I haven’t been with anyone else,” she said, and again, I had to fight myself to ignore her. Deep down, I was glad no one had touched her. I would be so pissed, but I couldn’t say shit. It was me who dumped her, and she was single.
Fuck! Dae was available.
“What do you think?” she asked. I pretended to ignore her, but she ran a finger over my arm. “Should I get a quickie? I deserve one.” Dae acted seductively, and my cock reacted. That fucker couldn’t be the one calling the shots. I held my ground.
“I told you I have a girlfriend, Dae,” I groaned, and the fucker laughed.
“I know, silly, not with you." She grabbed her phone. “There are a ton of apps for that.” Dae began to search, and I clenched my jaw.
Tell me she was fucking joking!
“Tinder. . .” she said, and my eyes darted to her.
She fucking wasn’t!
I tried to take a peek, but she covered the screen. “What are you doing?” I asked, and Dae answered as if nothing was happening.
“Downloading Tinder to my. . .” I snatched that fucking thing away from her hands. “Hey!" Like fuck she would!
Over my dead body! I put that piece of crap out of her reach. I wanted to toss it out the window, but that might have been too much. Who was I kidding? Deep down, I didn’t want Dae close to another guy.
“No! There are a ton of creeps on those apps,” I scolded, trying to cover my ass, but she knew me. Fucking Dae corrected me.
“You meant to say dicks, and that’s good cuz I need one,” she said and tried to get the phone. I swatted her hand away. I would cut off any dick that got too close to her.
“But. . .” Nothing! I made another excuse. She would not search for a fucking dick beside me. I told her she had to save the battery and then avoided her eyes. She knew, and I didn’t give a fuck. I didn’t know how much I could make up on the fly, so I kept my words short.
“Show me a picture.” Dae tried to get my phone, but I grabbed it before she could.
“No!” I screamed. She almost found out I was lying. The only pictures I had in there were hers, with her chest pressed on mine, kissing my neck while I smiled like a lovesick idiot.
I had to place it out of her reach as well. She thought I didn’t want her to see my fake girlfriend because she was ugly and joked about it. I told her she was beautiful, and Dae replied: “But no more than me, right?” My sight moved in her direction to see her posing, looking cute as fuck. The wheel screeched under my hands again.
“For sure she isn’t. I’m fucking gorgeous.” I peered at her. “The most beautiful woman you have ever seen in your life,” Dae repeated the words I told her in Jemal’s restaurant, and an image of her in her white dress crossed my mind. That was still true, and it would always be.
That moment was priceless. The memory of the day we started to date took a toll on my emotions. I lost my concentration and will to continue with the conversation, so I asked her to stop talking. She cooperated for a while but soon began pulling one on me.
Dae fucking moaned, and I glanced at her. She was licking the fucking granola bar like she used to lick my cock. I took a deep breath and tried to ignore her, but she moaned more sensually. As Dae sucked on it, I swore the last thing I pictured between her lips was that fucking bar. In my mind, she had my cock in her tiny hands and was licking my pre-cum off my sensitive tip—licking the slit clean like a good girl.
The truck slid left, and I woke the fuck up. I almost killed us both. I shook my head.
“Eat the fucking bar like a normal person, would ya?” I shouted and tried to ignore her. She would be my downfall.
“It’s not my fault you gave me something so delicious to stick in my mouth,” she sassed, and I groaned.
“Mmm, fuck, I feel so nasty.” Dae licked her lips. “Uhh, it’s all over my face. So sticky,” she said, and I pictured my thick cum dripping down her cheeks, covering her eyes, and me smacking that thick cock on her pouty lips.
“Fucking stop it!” Dae chuckled as she heard me grumble. I was nothing but a game to her. I always was. It was easy for her to make me do whatever she wanted, fucking worship her on my knees. I shouldn’t allow it again.
“What?”
If I didn’t love her that much, I would have tossed her out of a window. Fucking. . . “Jerk!”
It wasn’t until we arrived that I realized I didn’t know where the fuck I had taken her to. I asked, and she joked like the fucking clown she was. When she asked me to relax, that this was her parent’s home, I hoped she was joking.
Her family.
She took me to her family, and I would be in the spotlight. Dae convinced me to get out for a while, but as soon as we reached the door, my expectations about this encounter quickly went to shit.
I didn’t know what they would think about me, but for sure, it wasn’t what I was expecting. Her father knew my name and hugged me. That alone had confused me enough; then her mother came out of the house, and she also knew me. I clarified to everyone that we weren’t together, and they also knew that.
They were chill. Fuck! These people knew I had pounded their daughter and then dumped her, and they were okay. More than that, they were on my side. It appears that Dae really did not omit any details about us, as she said.
We started a conversation, and her mother let out that Dae had been crying for months thanks to the breakup. It gave my heart another blow. Dae cried for months over me? She wasn’t as okay as I thought she was. And I thought I was the only one fucked up by all this.
She fucking suffered, just as I had.
Did Dae still love me, or was I just a game she lost? I wanted to take her out, hug her, and say I was sorry for putting her through that. It wasn’t fake. She wasn’t lying. Dae fucking loved me, or so she thought.
This couldn’t change things. Dae would chew me up in a minute if I let her. She might have wanted me around, but as soon as things got serious, she would do the same—use me, then ghost me.
We finished eating, and I sat down to talk to her father. The man was simple and a good person. No wonder Dae loved him so much. At one moment, I heard the word vagina and looked her way. The fuck was she talking about? Should I be worried? She seemed ashamed.
Dae came over and said we should go to bed. Her father put us on the spot, telling her to go to her own room. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to, not in their house, not with their paper-thin walls. Each time I fucked her, Dae would moan like a slut for me, and I loved it. I would moan for her as well.
She took me upstairs and tried to stay with me, but I closed the door in her face. Taking a few steps back, I sat, trying to process everything that had happened. A few minutes passed, and she knocked at my door.
“Mark, can I have my phone back?” she pleaded, and I took out the battery, opened the door, and gave it to her. Dae held my hand, and I looked down at her body.
Fuck!
That jerk had on a white tank with no bra. I could perfectly see her hard nipples pressing against the fabric, begging for attention. Fuck, I wanted to touch her so badly.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to keep you company?” With my eyes stupidly set on her boobs, I gulped. I remembered them bouncing on my face as I fucked her. I shook my head.
“Nope!” I closed the door in her face, locked it, laid down, and took my cock out. I wouldn’t make it until the morning, not with that raging boner keeping me up.
As quietly as I could, I jerked my cock, thinking about her.
“What the fuck!” I heard Dae curse, hitting her cell phone, trying to make it work.
Fat chance!
I beat my meat faster. Thankfully, her parents had a box of tissues there, and I took a bunch and put them close to the tip. My reddened head became sensitive, and I pictured Dae’s mouth open and ready to take my cum.
“Uuhh! Fuck!” I muttered, leaning my head back and drenching the tissues in my hand. It was so fucking much. Having Dae across the wall made me come harder than I had in the last four months.
There wasn’t a trash bin in the room, so I was afraid to put the jizz down. Like an idiot, I held on to it until I was sure Dae had fallen asleep and then sneaked out. I tossed it away in the bathroom, peed, and returned to my room, passing by hers.
Dae kept her door open, and I stood by the frame. I hadn’t watched her sleep in so long. Everything in me screamed at me to go in and spoon her. I could spend a few hours with her, feeling her, and leave before she woke. Dae was a heavy sleeper, so she wouldn’t know.
I didn’t, but I did walk over, softly kissed her forehead, and touched her hair. She said she had missed me, but I had missed her way more.
In the morning, I woke up early, but she didn’t. I walked by her room, and Dae was still peacefully sleeping in the same position I had left her last night. I heard movement and walked down the stairs. Her father was outside with a shovel, trying to clean their entrance.
“Here, I got that.” I took it from him and began to clean up.
“I’m not useless,” he joked, and I smiled.
“I want to repay the kindness,” I said, and he didn’t know how much I owed him. This man’s daughter had been the most precious thing to me at one point. Shoveling wouldn’t begin to compensate for it.
He stepped aside and watched me do it.
“You know, she was a very chubby baby.” He laughed. “And heavy!” He chuckled, remembering her, and I looked at him.
“I’m sure the day she makes me a grandfather, her babies will be as chubby as she was,” he said, longing in his eyes. He smiled for a couple of seconds before I went back to shoveling.
I would lie if I said I hadn’t imagined that life with her. But that wasn’t what she wanted. I didn’t reply. I continued cleaning, putting my back into lifting almost three feet of snow and tossing it aside.
“She is not bad, you know,” he said, shaking his gloves.
“I know.” I agreed. Dae was crazy and had lots to learn, but she wasn’t a bad person.
“And she has made many changes. Good ones,” he assured me. I didn’t know about that. As I saw it, Dae was still the same jerk I fell for so long ago. I kept quiet.
“Dae wants to be a better person, and I must thank you for it.” Her father walked closer to me, and I stopped shoveling to pay attention to what he had to say. “My daughter forgot what makes life worth living, but you showed her,” he said, and I had to disagree. Achieving her dreams should be part of it. I went back to shoveling.
“So. . . you faked a girlfriend?”
I halted.
“How?”
“I wasn’t born yesterday, son. In what other way could you shake that crazy girl off your back?” He laughed. “You shouldn’t have, though. Dae is very competitive. She doesn’t know the meaning of the words stop, enough, or give up,” he noted, and I cursed between my teeth.
“Ah, fuck!” He was right. I remembered her smirk and her sassy comebacks. I screwed up.
He spoke again. “I can tell when my daughter is obsessed with a goal, and you aren’t it.”
Ouch!
“I know.” I let my head lower and set my eyes on the ground.
“You are her life’s mission.” Dae’s father said, and I lost my words. I stared at him with my heart beating in my throat. “Getting you back makes achieving any other goal seem like a child’s game.” He laughed. I didn’t know what to say.
“Sir. . .”
“Brace yourself.” Her father smirked, turned around, and opened the front door. On cue, Dae walked out, and her father left us alone, closing the door behind him. I pretended to be busy and shoveled again. She moved closer.
“You know what? I was thinking. Let’s spend the holidays together,” she suggested, and I stared into her sparkling eyes before looking away.
“I can’t.” With a softer tone, I declined her offer and kept shoveling.
“Some of it?” she insisted.
“I’m leaving soon, Dae.” My voice lacked energy. I couldn’t stay around and get more confused than I already was. Why did her father have to tell me that?
“Okay, then! Let me open my gift, and I will go with you.” Dae smiled. That was not what I wanted.
“You should stay with your family,” I urged her, avoiding her eyes. She gave me an unexpected comeback.
“You are like family as well.” Dae looked at her feet. I felt that one.
“Don’t fucking say that, Dae,” I muttered. She didn’t know how much it hurt me to think about what could have been and never would.
“Besides.” She pointed at the truck. “How am I going to get home? You have my car. And I have to fix it and shit.” Dae pointed. She didn’t have to worry about it.
“I told you I would send it to my father. Stay,” I said in a commanding tone, and her eyes wandered around before she pursed her lips and confronted me.
“You can’t tell me what to do.” She closed her fist, and I looked at them. She was furious.
“Do whatever you want. It’s not like you’ll listen, anyway.” I kept shoveling.
“I’ll get my things ready and make you breakfast. You should eat before we go.” Dae didn’t wait for feedback. She went back inside, and I stayed out, cleaning everything. Once their entrance, sidewalk, and driveway were cleaned, I went in.
At the table, Dae already had a bowl of noodles ready for me. Beside it, she had placed a mug filled with hot coffee and a glass of water.
Who eats noodles for breakfast?
I sat at the table, and she, along with her parents, sat with me. We ate together and talked before we finished, and Dae took the dishes away. The noodles were good but spicy, so I had to drink a lot of water.
I coughed.
“Do you need more water?” Dae didn’t wait for a reply. She stood and went to get it for me. She was trying her best to care for me, just as I had cared for her so many times before.
She put the glass next to me and smiled.
Don’t let her play with you, I thought, feeling less convinced about my decisions with each minute I spent close to her.
Her parents hugged us before we left. Pulling her aside, her dad gave her money, and I heard Dae fighting with him because she didn’t want to take it. He said he wanted to help with the car expenses. They could fight all they wanted; that would be on me. Dad wasn’t going to charge her. If he did, I’d pay for it.
I walked back to the truck and waited for her to say her goodbyes. Dae climbed up, and as soon as she closed the door, I knew I would be tempted by the devil for hours before I could drop her off.
It would be four hours of that jerk’s tactics. I had to build an even bigger wall around me, hoping she couldn’t crawl up them.
“Aanya is away for the holidays, so I’ll be alone,” she began. I couldn’t with her. The very first thing that came out of her mouth was a trap. I gave her no reply.
“Spending the holidays, all by myself.” She kept trying to guilt trip me so I would stay with her. No way!
“That’s on you. Told you to stay,” I groaned. Dae couldn’t pin this one on me.
“Don’t be like that. We can be friends, Mark.” Dae assured me, and I almost laughed.
“Friends?” I thought about it. Maybe that could be a chance to have her in my life, at least in one way. Her father’s words filled my mind. This was not an innocent proposal. She was after my cock, and if I wasn’t strong, she would use me again.
“We can be the best of friends.” Dae touched my arm, confirming it. I was glad they were covered—she couldn’t see the goosebumps.
“No!” I replied, hoping she would cut it out, but her dad was right. She didn’t know how to quit. Being friends wouldn’t work for me. I desired her too much to have her around. The way she laughed did things to me. Keeping some distance was the safest bet.
“Besides, I don’t think my girlfriend would like that.” I went back to my backup lie.
“Oh, I see.” Dae saddened. I hated hurting her like that, but I also had to give myself some value. I had to make it more believable. Gulping, I gathered some courage to say the next thing, knowing it would hurt her more.
“I’m spending the holidays with her,” I lied and couldn’t look into her eyes while I said it. Dae was taken aback.
“Oh, at her home?” She asked, and I wanted to make it seem as if my imaginary girlfriend was important to me, so I lied some more.
“At my parents’,” I said, involuntarily narrowing an eye. Lying wasn’t my forte. Dae seemed surprised.
“With your parents?” she asked to clarify, turning her body to face me.
“Yeah,” I said, hoping to sound convincing.
“They all know her?” Dae shot that question fast, and I knew it had affected her.
“Yeah, of course.” I gulped again, avoiding looking her way, afraid she would smell how nervous I was. Dae was way too silent, so I took a peek. She was leaning back with her eyes lost in the distance, looking puzzled as fuck.
“How close are they?” Dae asked with her eyes still lost and sounding dead serious.
“Very. Mom loves her,” I lied through my teeth, and I could see her getting angry.
“Really?”
“Really,” I affirmed, trying not to cringe.
“When?” She closed her fist over her lap. Yeah, that was her breaking point.
“What?”
“When did you tell them about her?” Dae peered my way, and I felt my eyebrow twitch. I paused to think up another lie. On what occasion did I have the entire family together?
“Thanksgiving,” I expressed, feeling a lightbulb glow above my head. Dae turned toward me, leaning her head to one side as if saying, What the fuck? Her gorgeous eyes demanded that I look back at her. But I didn’t. Dae was acting off.
“You brought her to your family’s dinner?” she shouted with her arms crossed in front of her, and I doubled down on my lie.
“I brought her home before dinner so she could cook with Mom,” I said, knowing this would bite me in the ass one day. Dae’s mouth dropped open in surprise before her expression oddly changed. She had the biggest smirk spread on her face and then laughed like a madwoman.
Okay, she was out of her mind. What the fuck had gotten into her?
“Is she good at cooking?” Dae asked between her laughter.
“Yeah,” I answered, and Dae snorted.
“She’s a keeper, right? Your family loves her, and she cooks for you. How did you get that lucky?” I could hear the sarcasm in her words. She was mocking me.
“I don’t know.” I tried to play along, but her reaction had me puzzled. She laughed some more. Dae was unhinged.
“What?” I asked, not understanding her madness.
“Nothing!” Dae shook her head, covering her mouth. She crossed her arms once more.
“Will she let you go to parties? Aanya is taking me to a party for the New Year, it’s in the city. We can go as friends,” Dae asked with a malicious grin, and I knew she must be up to something.
“I don’t know,” I muttered.
“It’s okay, you can bring Rebecca with you,” Dae mentioned, trying to sound sweet, and I pretended to think about it. I scratched my neck.
“I have to ask if she is free first,” I said, and she blurted out laughing. It was an explosive laugh that had her bending over.
“What?”
“You are the worst! I can’t even.” Dae held her belly and stomped her foot.
What did I miss?
“What?” I insisted, but she couldn’t stop howling. Dae kept holding her ribs and laughing so hard she lost her breath.
“What, woman?” I screamed, but she ignored me. That fucking jerk laughed so much that she hyperventilated and cried. I was more than lost.
Once she stopped, she sat straight, taking deep breaths. Dae’s face was blushing red, her mascara had run, and she had smeared it on her cheeks. She looked at me.
“Mark. . .” She was smiling.
“What?”
“Pull over,” Dae ordered with that psychotic grin and wiped her eyes.
“Why?”
“Do it!” she insisted. I didn’t know what she was up to.
“Dae, wh—”
“Just do it, Mark!” She raised her voice, pointing at the side of the road.
I drove to a gas station and parked. As soon as I changed the gears to park, she unfastened her seatbelt and faced me. My eyes wandered, not knowing what she was about to do.
“I love you,” she said, and I froze, lost in her eyes. I knew it, but having her say it hit differently. My hands rapidly sweated over the wheel, and I couldn’t stop looking into those mischievous brown eyes. She scooted closer.
“I love you so fucking much,” Dae repeated. Her voice broke, and my heart felt it. Breaking eye contact with her, I cleared my throat and pulled my beard.
“Dae, you think you love me now, but. . .”
“I know I love you, and I assure you that will never change,” Dae said, full of confidence, holding her smile. She sounded determined.
Fuck! She just made everything more complicated.
“The day we broke up, I came back home to tell you that and many other things. You are the first person I loved, and I was scared out of my mind, but I never, and I mean never, thought about a scenario where you weren’t there with me,” she confessed.
“We are over,” I whispered, trying to convince myself. She couldn’t go against her own interests for me, and I couldn’t pretend not to want what I wanted.
“And. . . I already have a girlfriend.” I held on to my excuse.
“Look at me,” she ordered, and I did. Her grinning made her lips’ curve widen. “Does it look like I give a fuck?” Dae asked, unfazed. It didn’t. That fucker smiled. It was a soft smile and a little sad, but beautiful.
She demolished it, my wall. It only took a few words and a smile to make me doubt everything. I set my eyes on the wheel and saw how my hands trembled. She getting me to stop was a good thing. I yielded.
“Okay. Let’s be friends. But I can only offer you a clean friendship, nothing more. No benefits, no exceptions.” I put my foot down, and she extended her hand toward me, and I glanced at it and then at her eyes.
“I’ll take anything,” she breathed, still smiling in the same way. Reaching for her waiting hand, I shook it.
A friendship it was.