Over the next three days, everyone worked diligently to prepare for the magic restoration. Fordham labored over the Ancient Alfheim book with Danae as his scribe. Cleora went to procure the materials for a Fae blessing. Vera walked the grounds in search of a sufficient pool to bless. And Keres disappeared to find an Alfheim crystal. That left Kerrigan alone to work on the stretching and breathing exercises.
She’d never struggled with meditation before. In fact, it had been a constant part of her training in the House of Dragons. Something that she’d been able to excel at without revealing how deep her powers went. A little half-Fae with too much powers was frowned upon, especially since she already wasn’t supposed to be a Dragon Blessed. That was always reserved for full-Fae children, but her lineage had afforded her a special position within the mountain. Not that it had made it any easier on her.
But today, she couldn’t get her mind to stop from drifting off. She did full-body scans and deep breathing techniques and tried to activate all her senses, but so much was at stake. The impending ritual made her anxious.
If that wasn’t enough, she still hadn’t spoken with Fordham.
She blamed the ritual on that. He, after all, was busy translating an ancient text, and she was supposed to be meditating and releasing the tension in her body. But she could admit she was scared.
Scared of the ritual.
Scared of herself.
Scared they wouldn’t make it.
Fordham had never been a sure thing. They had started off more enemies than anything. Falling from enemies to partners to friends to lovers to mates in such effortless fashion that she’d begun to believe that nothing could break that. And now, she didn’t know.
So, she was surprised when a voice behind her said in an almost-teasing tone, “That doesn’t look like meditating.”
Fordham stood with his arms crossed over his broad chest.
“You’re not exactly translating,” she said.
“Danae wanted a break. Her hand was cramping.”
“I can’t concentrate.”
“Why don’t we try something else?” He offered her a hand, and she let him pull her to her feet. “Forget the breathing techniques outlined in the book. You’re too tense. We need to move your body and release that tension.”
“Have something in mind?” she asked, unable to keep the grin from her lips.
“Let’s go through the forms.”
She huffed. “Not exactly what I was hoping for.”
“You need another way to relax?”
“I have one or two suggestions.”
Fordham turned her to face him. She laughed. She hadn’t expected to even see him today, so the light teasing, even without any of the fun alternatives, was worth all of it.
He moved through defensive forms like liquid. So effortless and smooth. Kerrigan mirrored his steps and hand gestures. He wasn’t going through any distinctive pattern, and she let her mind drift as they got into an easy rhythm. He was right, of course. She’d needed this. His guidance, moving her body, all of it. She felt calmer than she had when trying any kind of meditation alone.
“She wasn’t cruel,” Fordham finally said.
Kerrigan was surprised enough that she almost broke out of her next step, but he was using this as an opportunity to talk to her. He’d come to her when he was ready.
“Who?”
“Iris,” he said with a deep emptiness in his voice. “She wasn’t cruel. Not to me at least. She punished others so effectively that it kept me in line, just as she wanted.”
“That’s still terrible.”
“Maybe worse than if she had taken it out on me. I learned early to isolate myself from any and everyone. The friendlier I was with people, the more she used them against me.”
“That is cruel, Ford,” Kerrigan said. “Just because she wasn’t beating you doesn’t mean it wasn’t a manipulative tactic.”
“Well, I never fully broke, and she hated it. When I stopped reacting entirely to her base tactics, she went in another direction.” He grimaced. “She would send female servants to my chambers … as presents.”
“Oh,” Kerrigan whispered.
“I sent them back at first, but she would punish them for not … seducing me properly.”
“I see.”
“No, you don’t,” Fordham said. “I let them stay the night. I told them to tell her we had a good time. I had them explain in detail what we had done so it was convincing. And all the while, I told them stories of you.”
“Of … of me?” Kerrigan whispered.
“They might have all hated me if I hadn’t been so in love with you.”
She swallowed back the emotion building in her throat.
“The rest … it wasn’t good. She killed one of the women I had grown close with. Alita.” He said her name softly and remorsefully. “Alita had confided in me about her love for one of the guards. And then I had to watch her die, slowly and painfully.” Fordham’s eyes were blank as he recited it. “Iris thought it was funny. The guard she was in love with blamed me. Even though they weren’t allowed to leave marks on Iris’s prized gladiator, they would come in at night and assault me.”
“You could have stopped them!”
“I let them. It felt like a suitable punishment for Alita’s death.”
“Oh, Ford …”
“And then you appeared. I thought you were a phantom the first time I saw you. I couldn’t believe that you were still alive after I landed in Domara alone and was swindled into Iris’s care.” His hand went to his throat, breaking the constant movements. “Until the collar.”
Kerrigan took a step forward. “Now, you feel collared all over again because of the Daijan bond?”
He still held his throat. “It’s worse in some ways. Before, I had nothing, and now, it’s all the magic I could have ever wanted, but none of it is mine.”
“I should have just taken your hand,” Kerrigan said. “Taken your hand and run away with you.”
“No,” he said, releasing his throat but taking a step back. “No, you needed to meet your mother. I needed the collar removed. We need to restore your magic. It all happened as it should. I just … wasn’t prepared for another leash. I don’t know how to live with this one.”
“We can figure it out,” she said earnestly. “Together.”
He took a farther step away from her. Whatever had brought back her teasing love had disappeared in the face of a new nightmare. “I should get back to translations. Danae has had a long enough break.”
Kerrigan nodded, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes as he walked away from her. She had hoped that this was the start of something again, but he still had to process the Daijan bond, and she didn’t know how to help him forward with that. She could only hope that standing by his side through it all would be enough.
Keres returned at nightfall on the third day. “I found one.”
She held a purple crystal in her hand about the size of her fist. It was smaller than she had anticipated. The inside glowed softly when she looked into it too long. It didn’t quite emit light but seemed to capture it instead.
Fordham rose slowly to his feet at the sight of it. “Where did you find it?”
“Basille Selby helped me track it down. I didn’t want to risk missing the full moon and solicited his assistance. He managed to find a trader who specialized in Fae relics.” She frowned. “He was a deeply unpleasant man to bargain with.”
“Oh good. You made it back,” Vera said, stepping into the room. “I’ve just finished the blessing ritual site with Cleora.”
The professor stood on the threshold, wet from the waist down and looking positively disgruntled. “I did the actual water parts.”
“Can’t expect me to,” Vera said. “I’m old.”
Cleora grumbled something under her breath. Keres flicked her hand at her, and the water came out of her clothes and pooled into an orb in front of her.
Cleora stared, wide-eyed. “Impressive.”
“Anything to help,” Keres said, tossing the water back outside. “Shall we proceed to the holy waters?”
“I believe so,” Vera agreed.
Danae sidled up to Kerrigan as they followed the line of powerful women out of Vera’s home. Fordham took up the rear of the vanguard. They hadn’t spoken privately since he’d told her about Iris, and her heart ached to be closer to him.
“This is …” Danae shook her head as they traipsed into the tree line. “Do you think this is going to work? I’ve never heard of anything like this in Andine.”
“I have no idea,” she admitted. “I have to hope.”
There was a lot of the ritual that they were just guessing at. The star alignment was one aspect that no one even wanted to touch. Was that necessary or something that the Fae adhered to because it was safer? And they were doing this without the requisite thirteen. She didn’t know if it mattered that Keres and Vera were superpowered Doma with more magic than ten regular Fae. They didn’t know if thirteen was symbolic or necessary. They didn’t have time to bring in eight more people, let alone eight more people they trusted, to do it properly. If they failed, then what? Another month in Alandria could mean more death and destruction for her friends and family. Already, she’d been gone too long.
She closed her eyes and sighed. One day at a time.
Danae squeezed her hand. “I believe in you, you know?”
“Is that the truth or just your opinion?” Kerrigan asked with a small smile.
“What’s the difference?” Danae asked with a wink.
Kerrigan laughed. At least Danae still had her sense of humor. That was something.
One minute, they were nestled in the boughs of low-hanging trees, and the next, the world opened onto a clear pond. It was only large enough for a few strokes from one side to the other. A trickling waterfall filled it to the brim and kept it from getting stagnant. The effect was the sound of a soft trickle of water and an unparalleled ambiance.
“It’s lovely,” Kerrigan whispered.
Vera smiled wistfully. “Yes. The woods and nearby streams were partially why I chose this place. Reminds me of my old home. Though it’s not quite Byern.”
Keres touched her shoulder, and they shared a silent moment. Vera nodded, and they broke apart.
“The best course of action is to set up in a star position. I’ll take the point. Vera and Fordham will be opposite me and opposite each other. Cleora and Danae will take the side positions across from one another. Kerrigan, you, of course, will be at the center of the star.”
“In the water,” Kerrigan said.
“It’s chilly,” Cleora said with a huff as she headed to her designated position.
“Yes. The water, please.”
Kerrigan swallowed, looking into the beautiful depths as everyone else settled into position. “This will work, right?”
Keres put her arms around her daughter. “It’s not a ritual that I’m familiar with, but I believe in you. I believe you can do this. The magic is there, waiting for you. Just put your hand out and take it. Any daughter of mine can do anything.”
“Thank you,” Kerrigan said.
She sniffled as she stepped away and headed into the water. It wasn’t chilly; it was cold. It didn’t make much sense, considering it was the middle of the summer. The temperatures had been alarmingly high with humidity that felt more like drinking than breathing. Even in Vera’s isolated hillside retreat, it was still hot. And yet the water brought goose bumps to her skin, and she shivered as she got in up to her hips.
“Here?”
“A little farther. Try to be even with Cleora and Danae,” Keres told her.
Kerrigan glanced left and right before pushing farther into the cold water. It pooled around her stomach. She bit her lip and moved deep, up to her breasts. Being on the shorter side had rarely done her favors.
“Okay,” she said, still shivering. “This is even.”
“Then, we’ll begin.”
Kerrigan turned around to face her mother at the point of the star.
“Together, we are here for a daughter of Alfheim,” Keres said, reading from the translation that Fordham had carefully rendered. “Her power was stolen from her, against the gift of nature, and we come together to ask for a release of her star energy.”
The water grew colder. Almost frigid. Kerrigan began to shiver as the moon rose higher on the horizon and midnight crept over them. It struck their makeshift star like a knife on target. As if the stars and the moon were connected with them so far below, preparing them for what was to come.
“We are but five of those blessed by your divine right,” Keres continued. Her words came out in puffs of cold. The temperature in the clearing had dipped dramatically. “But we five are full of strength to commune with you.”
Keres reached her trembling hands for the Alfheim crystal. The gentle glow had dulled until the purple hue was almost extinguished.
“Release what was taken,” Keres commanded.
Then, she set the crystal on the edge of the water, and the world split in two. The glow turned into a brilliant, shining light, directing its energy heavenward. Kerrigan had to shield her eyes to look at the purple light emitting from the tiny object. The light had to be seen for miles upon miles. No one could ignore what was happening on this hillside as the crystal seemed to touch the moon itself.
A second later, the light evaporated. Leaving only spots on the backs of Kerrigan’s eyelids in the wake of its disappearance. She blinked several times, trying to get her vision back. The water was warming again. Her friends and family were blinking and looking around, bewildered as well.
“What happened?” Danae whispered.
“Is that it?” Kerrigan asked.
Keres’s eyes were still on the crystal. The purple core had burned out, and it was now black and smoking faintly. “I … I don’t know.”
Fordham crossed his arms and said what they were all thinking. “It didn’t work.”
And he was right.
Nothing had happened.
It hadn’t been enough.