SEVENTEEN

I run back inside, grab the key from the kitchen drawer and run back out, beaming. Stephanie has stopped and put Tomas down. I don’t know if it’s because he’s heavy or she’s prepared to hear what I’ve got to say or show her. But I’m taking my chance.

‘Follow me.’ I wave my arm in a big circle and hold up a key with the other.

For a moment she stares at me, but then, making my heart skip, she follows me.

‘Okay, it’ll need some work,’ I’m talking nineteen to the dozen, ‘and I’m not even sure we remembered to clear it when we were moving out. Ollie used it as storage space.’

‘Ollie?’

‘My husband.’

‘Your husband?’

‘He’s gone. Back to the UK. It’s just me now.’

‘Ah,’ she says. ‘With your furniture?’

‘Yes, with … everything.’

‘Ah.’ Things seem to be making sense to her.

‘Here.’ I bend down through the pine trees and go into a small clearing. I wait for Stephanie to reach me. She straightens and stands next to me.

‘Look, it might not be what you were expecting, but I’m pretty sure it’s got everything. As soon as I can get more furniture, you can move into the house, if you want to.’

She says nothing. Is she going to swear, turn and walk away? ‘Do you want to see inside?’

Slowly she nods and, if I’m not mistaken, her stare doesn’t convey disbelief and horror: it’s the look of someone falling in love.

‘It’s a gypsy caravan,’ she says slowly.

‘It was here when we bought the house, hidden away. I thought it might be nice for guests. But we were here for such a short time that I didn’t get around to doing anything with it. Well, actually, after my first look inside it, I forgot about it. Life’s been a bit … hectic,’ I say. ‘But I wish I’d remembered it on my first night here alone. At least there’s a bed in it, from what I remember.’

‘You stayed here alone, with no furniture, nothing?’ she asks.

‘Yes.’ I stop on the wooden steps I’m climbing. ‘I just knew I couldn’t go back.’

‘Same,’ says Stephanie, and I don’t know if she’s talking about going back to where she’s just come from, or to where she was before she ended up in that awful room.

I don’t ask. If she wants to tell me she will. Right now, I have to fulfil my promise and find her somewhere of her own to stay. I push the key into the old padlock and turn it. Then I open the half-door, jump down from the steps and let Stephanie up them.

‘There’s a lot of stuff inside that Ollie left behind.’ His golf clubs, the exercise bike and the small electric lawnmower we had before he upsized to the big sit-on one. ‘But there’s a bed and a stove, and we can tidy it up.’ I look at the peeling lavender woodwork. Stephanie is inside it now. Ralph and Tomas have joined us. Tomas is climbing the wooden steps and sits at the top. A red squirrel darts across the grass to a neighbouring tree, to his excitement.

Stephanie comes out and stands on the platform outside the caravan. I hold my breath. She looks at me.

‘It’s … it’s not right, is it?’ I stammer. ‘It’s not suitable for Tomas. I’m sorry. Like I say, I don’t have children. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to do something. That place was so horrid. I’m sorry,’ I gabble. ‘I’ll help you back with your stuff,’ I say, and look up at her.

Her face breaks into a huge smile. ‘It’s perfect! Thank you! Tomas seems to love it! It will be an adventure! He’s safe here. We will sleep well.’ She gazes at the pine trees and breathes in deeply.

‘Right!’ I say. ‘Let’s clear this rubbish out, get it aired and the bed made. Tomorrow we’ll start fixing it up.’

‘And I can really stay here?’

‘For as long as you want,’ I confirm. ‘Or move into the house when I get some more furniture.’ And we laugh.

‘I have always dreamed of my own little place for me and Tomas. My own front door. This is perfect. Thank you,’ she says, with what I think might be a sparkle of tears in her eyes.

‘You’re welcome,’ I say.

And that evening as the big sky turns from baby pink to red, we clear it out, clean it and make up the bunk bed with the remainder of the bedding I had. Then we eat omelettes cooked outside, over a fire in an old bin lid, and sit by it until the sky is dark and the stars are shining.

Tomas is curled up asleep in one corner of the bed as I wish Stephanie a good night. ‘Up early tomorrow. We have desserts to make!’ I say, and call Ralph to my side, reluctant to leave his new playmate. I walk back to the house, feeling content. I glance up at the big sky over the empty valley and wonder if Mum is looking down on me. Whether she is or she isn’t, I can feel her with me, telling me I did just fine today.

‘Thank you, Mum, for everything. For giving me the strength to do this.’ I think of Stephanie and Tomas tucked up in bed, safe and sound. I did some good today. I open the front door and wind my way to bed with Ralph by my side. And as I walk up the stairs I remember Fabien’s words: ‘Enough to be content.’

Fabien! Why do my thoughts always come back to him? Carine has been so kind to me and I hope we will be good friends. So I must stop thinking about Fabien. I can’t let thoughts about him get in the way of my friendship with Carine.