‘How was Henri?’ I ask Stephanie, when she returns from delivering the desserts the next day.
‘A little tired. I told him he should rest but he said he’s fine. He has too much to do to put his feet up. Too many people relying on him.’
‘Surely he could close the bistro for a week or two. Go on holiday.’
‘Henri would never close.’ She puts the money on the table, with the shopping, then hands me the receipt.
The swallows circle high in the clear blue sky, and the crickets chirp among the grassy clumps in the big empty field under the hot July sun.
‘I should plough this if I’m going to put in these plants, or weed it at least,’ I say, looking out through the French windows at the field, then across the valley to the purple patchwork quilt of Serge’s land. I look at all the lavender plants I watered early that morning in the sunlight as it reached through the tall oak trees, hanging with balls of mistletoe, like great Christmas baubles. The air was full of the smell of pine, rosemary and lavender, and I want to start digging over the soil for the new plants. But we have other things to do today, ghosts to lay to rest. I take a deep, reviving breath, feeling the calm and strength the air here gives me. I must get them planted soon and send a gift to Serge to thank him. I’ll take him some biscuits on market day, I think.
‘So, are we going? Did you mean it?’ Stephanie asks nervously, having helped me put away the shopping. The kitchen has become much more like home than the empty shell it was the day Ollie left.
‘If you want to,’ I say cautiously. It must be her decision. I don’t know JB so I can’t know if this is a good or bad thing. I can only be there for her.
‘I’ve decided. I want to find JB. I want him to meet his son,’ she says. ‘He may not want me, but I hope he’ll want Tomas. I think that’s why I like Fabien so much, because he likes Tomas. I want the best for my boy.’
My heart and stomach lurch at the sound of his name. ‘I know you do. Come on, then. Let’s find JB and see if we can introduce him to Tomas. Do you know where we’re going and how to get there?’
She nods, with an excited smile on her face.
Soon the five of us, including Tomas, are on the bus. Once Rhi and Lou emerged from their long, peaceful night’s sleep, we went into town and we’re on our way. It’s hot outside but the bus is cool. Rhi is checking the salon on her iPad, using the free Wi-Fi, checking bookings and giving clear instructions to her staff about clients she would usually handle and how they like their hair. I know what a sacrifice she has made to come out here. Lou is checking her reflection in the tinted window, thinking I can’t see her doing it but I can.
We travel to a smart, plane-tree-lined neighbouring town. We get off the bus.
‘This is lovely,’ says Rhi. ‘We could have lunch?’ she suggests, and we all frown at her. ‘After we’ve found JB, of course,’ she adds hastily.
‘Why didn’t we just find him on Facebook, like everyone else?’ asks Lou.
‘Stephanie felt, and I agree, that Facebook isn’t the place for this kind of conversation. She’d rather meet him face to face.’ And I’m nervous for her.
It’s a much newer town than Ville de Violet. Small and neat. Everything in its place. There aren’t the older properties of our town, or its quaint cobbled streets, characterful archways and alleys. There is a cream-coloured town hall, and a sparkling fountain in the middle of the main square, a big new chemist, next to a huge supermarket, and floral decorations on the roundabout.
‘This way,’ says Stephanie, holding Tomas close to her.
We follow her off the main street into an estate of small, neat houses. I can tell we’re getting close when her footsteps slow. She seems to be making a different journey of her own.
‘Is this where you grew up, Stephanie?’
She shrugs in the way she does when she wants to keep life at arm’s length. ‘Not here, but near. That way,’ she jerks a thumb, ‘keep going out of town, past the skatepark, following the graffiti trail. Before that, we were in Marseille. Mostly Marseille,’ she says. ‘We tried living here when she wanted to get clean, but it didn’t last. She ended up spending more and more time back in Marseille.’
‘Is this …?’ I start.
‘She died in Marseille. The gendarmes came to tell me,’ she says. There’s a hollowness in her eyes I haven’t seen before. A deep well where the love is missing.
‘Maman,’ says Tomas, too tired to walk now. Maybe we should get a pushchair for him.
Stephanie scoops him into her arms. Then she looks at me. ‘Here, take him,’ she says, and hands him to me. ‘I’ll go there alone and see if JB’s in. If he is, I’ll speak to him first. Then I’ll come back to you if he wants to meet Tomas.’ The hand-over happens without me thinking about it.
‘You sure you don’t want me to come with you? Rhi or Lou could look after Tomas.’
She shakes her head. ‘You look after him, please.’
She’s entrusting me with everything that means anything to her in the world.
‘We’ll take a little walk over to that bit of greenery,’ I point, ‘and look at the flowers, les fleurs, eh, Tomas?’
She drops her head and walks away just as she did when she arrived, like a whirlwind, in my life just a few weeks ago. Both our lives have changed since our worlds literally collided. Ralph pulls at his lead, wanting to sniff and explore. What an unusual bunch we must seem: Lou, with her Dolly Parton looks, Rhi on her phone, ringing the salon back home, me, Tomas and Stephanie, all of us here for each other. All of us with a past that’s left its footprints in the landscape of our lives.
I put Tomas down and he runs around chasing bees and butterflies in the unrelenting July sunshine, while Rhi and Lou head for the shade of a big tree. I can just see Stephanie from where I am. She’s standing on a doorstep talking to someone. She isn’t invited in, and I’m indignant on her behalf. I can just see the person pulling the door closed behind them and joining her on the front doorstep. It must be JB. My heart lifts for her and Tomas. They’re talking. That’s good, I think. I watch intently, hoping that, any minute now, they’ll walk this way together for Tomas to meet his father. I check his face and give it a quick polish with a wet wipe, then turn back. They’re not standing on the doorstep any longer. The front door is shut and I have butterflies. Then I see Stephanie appearing from behind a large yellow flowering bush. I can’t see JB. Is he following her? Or is she walking back to us on her own?