‘So, let me get this right. He was having an affair all the time you were having IVF and when your mum died.’ Lou is straight to the point as ever.
‘Looks that way.’ I sigh.
‘And he suggested moving out here to get away from the situation, having clearly got her pregnant.’
‘It seems so.’
‘Looks like when she decided to go through with it, he felt guilty and made up a load of excuses to move back.’
‘He was going to keep his girlfriend and baby a secret from you,’ Rhi joins in.
‘That’s why he sent us out here, to check you really meant it and weren’t going to come back to him.’ Lou puts the pieces in place.
‘So he could go public with his—’ Rhi is interrupted.
‘Pregnant lover!’ Lou bangs the table.
‘Looks that way.’ My lips are numb. But my instinct had been spot on. I was right not to go back. I was right to stay. I was right that we were over. But right isn’t making me feel very good. I stand up, my knees shaking. I wasn’t enough for Ollie. I do the only thing I can think of doing: I start to dig over more of the earth in the lavender field, ready for new plants.
And I keep digging, under my wide-brimmed hat in the Provençal sunshine, breathing the scent of the rosemary, pine and lavender. Rhi and Lou join me and silently we work, stopping only for water. Stephanie joins us, and we dig until the sun is dipping in the sky. Eventually, I stand to stretch out my back. Ralph is suddenly barking madly and I have no idea why.
‘Ralph, ssshh!’ I say, feeling much calmer than I did earlier. But Ralph doesn’t stop barking. I catch a glimpse of something … or maybe someone. Everyone stops and looks up.
‘Allô!’ I call. ‘Anyone there?’
We move towards each other, tools from the old barn in hand.
‘Allô!’ I call again. Ralph is still barking.
‘It’s okay! He won’t hurt you, he’s friendly!’ I say.
And then slowly, from around the side of the house, a figure appears, a young man in a baseball cap. Stephanie and I gasp.