Dirk was in the middle of a dream about the moon being a huge orange, which had ripened and was heading on a collision course with earth, when the phone rang.
‘Someone get a juicer!’ cried Dirk, waking up with a start. His mouth was parched and two empty bottles of orange squash lay on his desk. He groaned, knocked them on to the floor, and answered the ringing phone.
‘The Dragon Detective Agency,’ he said gruffly. ‘Dirk Dilly speaking. How can I help you?’
‘Have you just woken up?’ It was Holly. ‘What time is it there?’
‘What do you mean there? Where are you?’ said Dirk.
‘I’m calling long distance,’ said Holly. ‘I’m in Los Angeles.’
‘Los Angeles in America?’ spluttered Dirk.
‘No, Los Angeles in Kuala Lumpur,’ said Holly, laughing.
‘I thought you were grounded,’ said Dirk.
‘We got flown here on Brant Buchanan’s private jet.’
‘I don’t trust your dad’s boss as far as I can throw him. In fact, I don’t trust him as far as he can throw me.’
‘Nor do I, but that’s not why I’m calling. Have you ever heard of Chase Lampton?’
‘The film director? Yes,’ said Dirk. ‘He directed one of my favourite films, The Big Zero. He never made anything as good since, but that one was a classic.’
‘Well, he’s making a new film now, only one of the cameras caught something in the desert first thing this morning.’
‘What kind of something?’
‘Dragons,’ said Holly.
‘Rats in pyjamas!’ exclaimed Dirk, sitting up. ‘This is serious. Where’s the film?’
‘No one knows. It’s been stolen.’
‘You were right to call. We can’t let that film stay in human hands,’ said Dirk. ‘The way things work these days that evidence could be all over the Internet by lunchtime. Then it’s game over.’
Dirk took down the phone number and address of where Holly was staying and committed them both to memory. Holly said what she knew about where the film had been made and then she told him about their amazing journey to America and how Chase had asked her and Archie to be in the film too.
After saying goodbye Dirk put down the receiver, opened a desk drawer and pulled out Mrs Klingerflim’s copy of Dragonlore, flicking to the chapter on Desert Dragons.
The Desert Dragon is different from other subspecies of dragon in that it spits a deadly poison rather than breathing fire. The poison is a potent acid that will cut through the strongest material, fell a mighty tree or kill any creature in seconds. However, Desert Dragons can only hold one dose of poison at a time, which takes them around twenty-four hours to produce. So once the poison is used up all you have to worry about are the teeth, claws and hundreds of spikes which cover their bodies.
Dirk placed the book back in the drawer and considered the best way to get to America. Flying, swimming or taking the lithosphere tunnel would take too long. If there was a possibility that the film was being watched by a human, he had to move fast. Dirk switched off the TV and headed downstairs.
He stopped outside the kitchen, where Mrs Klingerflim was clattering about preparing her dinner, humming along to some old crackly jazz that was coming from her tinny radio. She held down a button on top of her oven, creating the hiss of gas and a clicking noise, but failing to light the hob.
‘Bother to this old thing!’ she exclaimed. ‘Oh, Mr Dilly, excuse my language. I didn’t see you there.’
‘Let me help you with that,’ said Dirk.
She stood back. Dirk leant over the hob and sent a tiny flicker of flame from between his two front teeth, lighting it. Mrs Klingerflim smiled and placed a pan of water on it.
‘Thank you, Mr Dilly,’ she said. ‘Off out, are you?’
‘I’ve got a case out of town so I wanted to let you know that the rent may be a little late and that I won’t be around to help.’
‘Oh, don’t worry about that,’ said the sweet old lady. ‘I’ve always got Mr Blandford. He pops round sometimes to help out. He put up these shelves.’
‘Sounds like you’ve got an admirer,’ said Dirk, winking.
‘Oh, Mr Dilly, don’t be daft,’ said Mrs Klingerflim, blushing and changing the subject. ‘Are you going anywhere nice?’
‘California,’ replied Dirk.
Mrs Klingerflim smiled wistfully. ‘California. How lovely. I went there with Ivor once, you know. Stunning scenery.’
‘Dragon-spotting?’ asked Dirk. All of Mrs Klingerflim’s holidays with her late husband, Ivor, had been research for the book.
‘Oh yes, those Californian Desert Dragons are very territorial but beautiful movers. I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of one, mind.’
‘I’ll bear that in mind,’ he said. ‘No skydiving while I’m away, Mrs K.’
‘Oh, I’ll be too busy wrestling crocodiles,’ said the frail old lady. ‘How are you getting there?’
‘Smelding,’ replied Dirk.
‘Oh, really? How interesting. Good luck.’
Dirk left her and went down to the cellar, climbing into the hole Karnataka had made and clawing his way through the broken bits of concrete into the ground. Soon he reached the rock that lay beneath the foundations of the house.
In the dark Dirk lay flat on the rock and concentrated on relaxing every muscle in his body. It wasn’t easy but after a few seconds he felt a tingling pain on the soft skin of his belly and the underside of his neck and limbs.
In his book, Ivor Klingerflim described smelding like this:
The act of smelding is unique to Mountain Dragons and is an extension of blending. Only, rather than repositioning particles that form the colour of a surface over the dragon, it involves the dragon squeezing each particle of his body between the particles that form the rock beneath him. The process of reducing itself to formless particles takes the dragon around an hour but it means there is no resistance and that he can choose to re-emerge anywhere in the world.
Dirk wasn’t sure about the science of it but he did know that it hurt. The knack with smelding was to stay relaxed during the extremely painful process, which felt like being eaten by a million tiny sharp-toothed fish. It was a technique developed during the Ice Age, when dragons had to travel thousands of miles to find edible vegetation. Dirk was grateful that he lived in more convenient times. It was bad enough when his supermarket got his order wrong and sent him the cheap tins of beans that were all sauce and no beans.
Eventually he felt himself smelding into the rock, his skin, bones and green blood slipping into the spaces in between the particles. Once fully immersed, it was an odd feeling. Without eyes he couldn’t see anything, and without paws he couldn’t feel anything. He knew he still existed but, without a physical body, there was an extreme lightness to his existence that was ultimately very relaxing. He had heard of dragons who had never reappeared after having smelded and Dirk could understand why. He fought the lethargy that had swept over him and sensed a rock in the Californian Desert where he could begin the equally painful re-emergence.
By the time he felt sunlight on his face Dirk was exhausted. He looked weakly at the scenery in front of his newly formed eyes. A dusty, stony landscape stretched out in front of him as far as he could see. Strange leafless trees with twisted branches were dotted around, each growing a metre or so apart. The thick branches were covered in light brown spikes with clumps of green spikes at the end. Dirk recognised them as Joshua trees from a nature programme he had seen once. Between them dry shrubs struggled to find enough water to survive. All around were huge piles of boulders and rocks, like the one where Dirk was emerging. The sky was pastel blue with only a couple of fluffy clouds to accompany the blazing sun. There wasn’t a living creature in sight.
The final piece of Dirk’s claws appeared and he collapsed and passed out from exhaustion.
When he awoke, the sun was high in the sky and every part of his body ached. Vowing to take a slower but easier route home he stretched, jumped down from the rock and began searching for any signs of dragons. He checked the more healthy shrubs, looking for nibble marks. He examined the ground for footprints. The problem with tracking dragons was that, unlike humans, they left very little indication of where they had been.
Dirk heard a noise. He stopped dead. Something had moved but all he could see were the strangely shaped Joshua trees. It was probably a desert rat or a wolf but as a precaution he raised himself on to his hind legs and drew his claws, prepared to fight if necessary.
He remained perfectly still, listening for another sound. He turned round as something flew over him. A weight landed on his back. He stumbled forward, tripped on a root and fell to the ground. Spikes dug into his skin, so sharp he could even feel them through the hard skin on his back. Dirk craned his neck around just enough to catch a glimpse of the spiky face of a particularly vicious-looking Desert Dragon before it pushed his head to the ground. Strong limbs pinned him to the floor and a thin voice said, ‘You looking to rumble, dragon? You come trespassin’ on my turf lookin’ for a fight?’