9.

In Search of a Voice

It was so hard going back to Rockley Park not knowing what Pop and Lolly thought of her. Danny was as friendly as ever during the journey, but when they arrived Chloe chickened out of dropping her bag off at Paddock House. She didn’t feel brave enough to face the girls yet. She stuck with Danny and they went in for a snack together.

“So what’s going on?” he asked, chomping on a baguette. It had been obvious that Chloe hadn’t wanted to talk in front of her parents in the car and so he was still in the dark about what was wrong.

She took a deep breath. “I can’t sing at the concert because I can’t make my voice loud enough,” she said.

“Oh. Don’t worry.” He took another mouthful. Splinters of crust and shreds of salad fell onto his plate. Chloe stared at him.

“Don’t worry! Is that all?” she demanded.

Danny shrugged. “You’re in the right place to get all the help you need. What’s the problem?”

Chloe couldn’t believe it. Danny could be so dense sometimes.

“Rising Stars points, for a start!” she said.

“True,” he acknowledged, nodding. “But there will be other concerts. And my drum teacher told me that teachers’ decisions throughout the term are more important than the points awarded by the students at concerts. Anything else?” he asked, in his new capacity as problem solver. Chloe took a deep breath. Why was he being so irritating? He seemed determined to see her huge problem as a fuss about nothing.

“Only that I’m a failure and so Pop and Lolly probably won’t want to be friends with me anymore.” Chloe hated the way she was sounding so pathetic, but she was near to tears, and couldn’t help her voice wobbling. Danny put the remains of his baguette down and looked at Chloe.

“Who’d want friends like that?” he asked. “I wouldn’t.”

Chloe tried to explain. “That’s all very well, but—”

“Here, let’s ask them,” he butted in. “Hey, Pop! You wouldn’t stop being friends with Chloe if she couldn’t sing, would you?”

To Chloe’s horror, Pop and Lolly were in the dining room, coming their way. Practically everyone in the room must have heard what Danny had said! Chloe rubbed her eyes furiously and tried to look as if she didn’t care.

Pop banged her tray down on the table and plonked herself angrily into the chair opposite Chloe.

“Honestly! What a horrible thing to say, Danny!”

“What have I done?” Danny asked. “I was only—”

“Well, don’t,” said Lolly, putting her tray down quietly and sitting next to Chloe. “Can’t you see she’s upset?” She put her arm around Chloe and gave her a hug. “I’m so glad to see you,” she said. “Pop and I have been worried sick.”

Danny finished his baguette, pushed back his chair, and got up.

“Girls!” he muttered, and wandered off.

“We were at our house in Gloucestershire for the weekend,” Pop told Chloe. “It’s down in a valley. We can never get a signal for our cell phones there. It’s so boring. So Lolly only got your text on the way back to school.”

“That’s why I only texted you back an hour ago,” Lolly explained. “... And you didn’t read the message, did you?” she added, seeing Chloe’s face.

Chloe shook her head. “I switched my phone off and packed it in my bag this morning,” she explained. “After not hearing from you over the weekend, I thought you definitely wouldn’t text me today,” she added awkwardly.

“And after what Tara said on Friday, we were afraid you’d disappear and we’d never see you again!” added Lolly. “You did mention not being able to use the right muscles for singing at the beginning of the term, but we thought that had been fixed.”

“Is it still the same problem?” Pop asked.

Chloe told them all about it. It felt good unburdening herself to the twins. When she’d finished, Lolly gave her another hug.

“We didn’t realize it was so serious,” she told Chloe. “You poor thing, suffering all this time in silence. You should have said something.”

“I know,” Chloe admitted sheepishly. “Jess talked to me about that. And don’t be mad at Danny for what he said. It’s my fault. I really was scared that if I couldn’t sing, you might not want to be friends anymore.”

“Huh!” snorted Pop.

“Sorry,” Chloe said in a small voice.

“Don’t worry,” Lolly said. “Some people really are like that.”

“We liked you right away because you were so ordinary,” Pop told her.

Chloe couldn’t help smiling. “Thanks!” she said.

“No, really!” said Pop. “You know what I mean. We meet so many people who only want to be friends because we’re well known. We’ve gotten careful about hanging out with phonies. They only let you down.”

“Sometimes they’re quite hard to spot,” Lolly said. “So I’m not surprised you were wary of trusting us. But we’re not phonies, and we want to help. Tell us what to do and we’ll do it!”

Chloe smiled a lopsided smile. If only it were that easy.

They finished their snack and went over to Paddock House. There was no sign of Tara.

“I saw her going over to the practice rooms as we arrived,” Lolly said. “I don’t think she went home over the weekend. Her parents are often abroad.”

“We’ve got to get you singing somehow,” Pop insisted. “I’m sure we can do it.”

“But how?” asked Chloe. “Everything I’ve tried so far just makes it worse. I’m afraid I won’t be able to stay here if I don’t work this out soon.” The twins had made Chloe feel so much better, she was beginning to think this fear was groundless, too. But Lolly took it seriously.

“Has Mr. Player said anything like that?” Lolly asked. Chloe shook her head.

“No.”

“I expect he doesn’t want you to panic,” Pop said.

“Don’t worry,” said Lolly. “You won’t get thrown out in your first term. If it was near the end of the first year, it might be a bit different.” Chloe felt the fear come creeping back. Surely it wouldn’t take that long to find the volume she needed!

“It’s not as if you have to learn how to sing,” mused Pop. “It’s just that your voice is too quiet.”

Chloe nodded sadly. “Yes, someone told me that even a baby can cry out loud without being taught and that it’s my mind that’s stopping me.” Pop clutched Chloe’s arm.

“That’s it! You need something to get you to yell out loud without thinking. Maybe that would unlock your voice.”

“Mmm,” agreed Lolly. “That’s not such a bad idea. Perhaps if someone scared you, you’d yell, and then you could turn the yell into a song.”

“Do you think that might work?” Chloe looked at their anxious faces. “I’ll give it a try,” she added bravely. “As long as you don’t give me a heart attack!”

“Lolly and I will plan something for you,” Pop assured her in a spooky voice. “Prepare to be v-e-r-y scared!”