CHAPTER 46         

THERE WERE PLENTY OF HELPING HANDS TO MAKE LIGHT WORK OF the cleanup. By the time the rain started coming down in earnest, everyone was gone. The storm was furious but brief. An hour after it started, it was over.

“I’m going to go out and say good night to the horses,” Jenny said. “I miss them.”

“Okay if I come along?” Joanna asked.

“Sure,” Jenny said, looking surprised. “Come right ahead.”

They walked through puddles of water across the driveway toward the barn and corral. “It’s a good thing it didn’t rain like this last night,” Jenny offered.

“I’ll say,” Joanna agreed. “That would have made for an even worse mess, especially since reinforcements would have had a devil of a time getting there in time.”

“I was scared when I found out what was going on,” Jenny said. “And I was mad that Dad just took off without telling us.”

“He was trying to protect you.”

“I’m a grown-up now,” Jenny reminded her mother. “I don’t need protection. And at least, once it was over, he took me with him to the crime scene.”

“That counts for something, doesn’t it?” Joanna asked.

“I guess.”

Out in the barn, Jenny produced some carrots, pulling them out of her pocket and feeding them to the horses as she scratched their necks and ruffled their muzzles.

“You’re good with horses,” Joanna observed.

“And you’re good with people,” Jenny countered. “I really liked what you said about Grandpa and Grandma today—especially what you said about Grandma.”

It was as though a flashbulb exploded inside Joanna’s head. She was just as guilty of protecting Jenny as Butch had tried to be. Maybe now was the right time to stop doing that.

“What I said was true,” she said after a moment.

“Even the part about you being willful and defiant?”

“Especially that part. I was a regular pain in your grandmother’s you-know-where.” She paused again, wondering how she would say what was coming or even if she should.

“Did you know your father and I were pregnant with you when we got married?”

“Sure,” Jenny said with a shrug. “I figured that out a long time ago. We even talked about it once, but it was right after Dad died. Maybe you’ve forgotten.”

Is that possible? Joanna wondered. Could I have somehow misplaced such a momentous conversation?

She took a deep breath before continuing. “She and my dad were just kids when they fell in love. When your grandmother turned up pregnant, abortions weren’t an option, and her parents insisted that she give the baby away.”

“That must have been awful for her.”

“I’m sure it was awful for both of them,” Joanna said. “But they were still in love, and as soon as they could, they got married anyway.”

“Is that why I never met anyone from Grandma’s side of the family?” Jenny asked.

“That’s why. And it’s also why, when I turned up pregnant with you, Grandma was devastated. She saw history repeating itself and blamed herself for not doing a better job of raising me. But history didn’t repeat itself, Jenny. My mother didn’t force me to give you up. She helped your father and me make it through. And the moment you turned up on the scene, she loved you like crazy.”

“I loved her, too,” Jenny said. “She was prickly at times, but I still loved her.”

“Prickly,” Joanna said, nodding. “She certainly was that. But she set a good example for me, Jen—a powerful example. And I want you to know whatever choices you make—good or bad—Butch and I will be there for you.”

“No matter what?”

“No matter what.”

“Thank you, Mom,” Jenny said. “You’re the best.”