CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE READY OR NOT, QUEENDOM COMES

It would feel almost comforting if it wasn’t so terrifying. Filomena almost thought she’d be able to close the chapter on this adventure without an ogre fight, but that, of course, would be too good to be true.

In Mary’s office, Jack smells the stench of ogre, and just after, they can all hear the ogres. A shudder runs down Filomena’s spine as she realizes why the ogres are here. They must have gotten word that Filomena is in Westphalia, and now, they’re here to kill her in the privacy of her own castle. And then, of course, they’ll tell everyone in the kingdom that she ran away from being crowned, deserting her people, and the ogres will step in to salvage the kingdom.

It’s chilling, the feeling that you’re being cornered.

“How many are there, do you think?” Filomena asks Jack hurriedly. But Jack isn’t listening to her; he’s looking straight at Mary Contrary.

“Is this a trap?” he says sternly, his voice steely. “Are you on their side?” His eyes are like daggers, his voice like iron. Filomena is glad, for the umpteenth time, that she’s on Jack’s side.

“Jack, I swear on Westphalia’s crown that I am not on the ogres’ side. I don’t know how they got past the guards! They must have slipped in a secret way.”

“They must still have an entryway into the castle,” he says to Filomena. “A leftover from their time ruling Westphalia, when it was under their spell.”

“The good news, then,” Mary says, “is there can’t be that many of them.”

Jack is still looking at Mary suspiciously, but Filomena needs him to focus. The ogres are getting closer.

“Where should we go?” she says.

“We need to get out of this room. We need a getaway. But, Fil, I think we’re going to have to fight them.”

“Let me run down first,” Mary says. “I’ll do my best to distract them, or at least delay them. You two head up to the next floor. Three doors from the top of the staircase, there’s a secret passageway. You can use that to escape if you really need to.” With that, Mary and her long cape swoosh out the door, and she runs toward the ogres.

“Do you not trust her?” Filomena asks.

“I’m not sure yet. I want to say yes, I really do. Especially because of all that stuff with your parents. But you know how it is, Fil. We can’t be too careful. Right now, the only person I trust in this castle is you. So let’s fight these ogres, then we’ll deal with the rest, okay?”

She nods. They leave the office. Once they reach the floor above, all they can do is wait for the ogres. Running away won’t help, not this time, not now.

Filomena tries not to shudder as the footsteps of the ogres, those loud, sloppy footsteps, come closer.

Jack holds her shoulders. “We can do this,” he says. His words fill her with a golden courage, a fire. “You can do this. We’re so close.”

Then, with no curse to break, no dare, no pretense, Jack leans close once more.

Filomena’s heart leaps. He brushes a lock of hair out of his eyes and smiles shyly at her. How brave and shy he can be at the same time! Only Jack’s face can hold those two qualities at once.

When he leans in to kiss her, she raises herself up to meet him, and when they kiss, it’s like she’s going through all the swoop holes in Never After at once. Like she’s moving through time and space. Like she’s floating.

They pull apart and smile at each other.

“That was cool,” he says.

She blushes. “Yeah, that was cool.”

So much has been said between them, and so much waits on the horizon, but for just a moment, they stand and look at each other and smile.

I just kissed Jack the Giant Stalker. I just kissed Jack! Part of Filomena wants to tell Gretel immediately, but a stronger part is present for the moment to fully enjoy the feeling.

But, of course, nothing can ruin the moment after a perfect first kiss like a bumbling ogre.

“There she is!” one screams, drool pooling out of its maw.

“Olga is gonna be so pleased with us,” another snarls, coming up the stairs.

The first ogre has a huge club and swings it right at Jack. Jack ducks and the club goes into a wall. The ogre is mad now and swipes the club backward, and this time it does hit Jack—square in the stomach.

Filomena wants to run to him, but she can’t; the second ogre, this one carrying a machete, is taking a swing at her. If the machete hits, it will be deadly. Filomena swipes her Dragon’s Tooth sword, slicing the ogre’s arm. Wounded and now even angrier, the ogre charges.

Her instinct is to run, but there’s only one open door. She runs through, trying to buy herself some time to regroup. She realizes there’s a balcony attached to this room and charges out onto it. The ogre follows her, machete swinging.

On the balcony, their weapons clash. The machete is huge, but Filomena’s Dragon’s Tooth sword is stronger. The machete nearly hits her, but she blocks it with the shield. Back and forth, they swing and land, swing and miss, swords clanging again and again. Then the ogre looks away for one second and she lunges.

The ogre’s bent back now, Filomena’s sword locked against the machete and held up to the ogre’s throat. Now that she has a second to breathe, she realizes a crowd is forming beneath the balcony, which looks directly over the Westphalian town square. Through the haze of battle, Filomena thinks how lovely it is that her castle is so close to her people and not hidden away.

But this is no time for such thoughts! Focus, Filomena!

She notices people seem confused. Do they not understand what’s going on here?

“People of Westphalia!” she shouts, still holding her sword against the ogre’s throat. “I am Eliana, princess of Westphalia, daughter of Rosanna and Vladimir. I have come to disprove the claims of the ogre queen and take my rightful place as your ruler, if you will have me!”

She feels overcome suddenly—not by the weight of responsibility nor fear over whether she will be a good ruler but by a strong, deep desire to protect her people. “All I want is to serve Westphalia well, to bring this kingdom back to its prosperous origins. I know I haven’t lived here my whole life, but that was not my choice. That was Queen Olga’s doing! And I’m ready. I’m ready to be connected to my kingdom if you will accept me as your queen.”

The crowd, at first awed, begins to cheer.

Filomena removes her sword from the ogre’s throat and plunges it into his heart. Her face is splattered with blood. But then the cheers turn to screams. Another ogre is coming up behind her.

“You think, just because of this public stunt in front of these plebs, you’ll get to be queen? You don’t think we can rework this story?” A huge ogre—one Filomena recognizes as a general in the ogre queen’s army—has come out onto the balcony. “We’ll kill you and make it look like your fault,” he snarls at her. The ogre general paces forward, relishing the moment before the kill. He slowly raises his blade.

But looking past the ogre, Filomena sees a beautiful sight. It’s Jack. And he winks at her. There is nothing to fear. Because Jack always has her back.

The ogre cackles and brings down his blade, but before the ogre knows what is happening, vines are wrapped around his weapon, and around his legs.

Jack pulls and the monster falls.

Filomena swings her sword forward and finishes him. Cheers erupt from the crowd again.

Jack waves. He has a black eye and a bleeding arm. But he’s standing and he’s alive.

Mary appears then, holding the crown in her hand. It’s a thin circlet of pure gold, with flared spikes around the perimeter that are meant to symbolize the sun’s rays. Filomena gets a jolt when she realizes what’s happening.

“Are we allowed to have the coronation without a proper ceremony?” Filomena asks Mary.

“There’s no better time for a coronation than in the wake of a battle won. Look, your audience is already here.”

And it is. Filomena looks out over the kingdom of Westphalia, at the crowd that has multiplied times ten since she first stepped onto the balcony. Word sure travels fast around here.

Mary motions for Filomena to kneel. “Eliana, princess of Westphalia, and rightful heir to the throne: By the power vested in me as regent of this kingdom, I hereby proclaim you queen of Westphalia.”

Filomena, panting and with ogre blood covering her face, is crowned at last. She’s a queen now. I’m a queen now?

“Hey, what did I miss?”

The voice, somehow, comes from her hip. Ira Glassman! Shocked, she grabs the handle and holds the talking mirror up to her face.

“You’re still there?” she gasps.

“Here I am, kid. Was just having my nap.”

“I thought you were gone when Robin smashed you!”

Ira’s misty eyes roll. “That’s the thing a kid like Robin, or the ogres, they don’t understand. Loyalty. Love. When a talking mirror is smashed, it gives the soul of the mirror—aka moi—an opportunity to flee. But I love you, Filomena. I’m with you for life. I’m not going nowhere.” Ira grins and winks.

“I wish I could hug you!” she yells, feeling so relieved.

“How about you just turn me around so I can see the crowd! I need my moment in the sun.” Ira chuckles.

She turns the talking mirror around, and together they wave to her citizens. Then she gets an idea. She whispers to Mary. Mary nods. Filomena motions for Jack to come forward and kneel. He does, slightly confused. Standing before Jack, Filomena picks up her Dragon’s Tooth sword and touches the flat of the blade to one of his shoulders, then the other.

“By the power vested in me as queen of Westphalia, I hereby knight Jack the Giant Stalker—my first loyal, royal knight of Westphalia!”

The crowd cheers. Filomena realizes then: They all know Jack from the tabloids.

Jack bows his head to her, then stands up. “Congratulations, Queen Filomena,” he says.

“Thank you, Loyal Knight of Westphalia. As if you need another title,” she teases, pushing his shoulder.

“This might be my favorite one yet.” He grins.

Then he kisses her again.