8

The Path with Heart

Emotional Wisdom

HAILEY’S STORY

I begin following my own path today. In just a matter of hours I will leave for a two-week hiking trip through the Grand Canyon and Colorado. I say two weeks, but I really have no idea how long it will be. And after that, I honestly do not know.

I have found that I like living my life that way. I leave myself open to the possibilities that lie before me. That’s how I was able to make the decision to go to a college six hours away from the community in which I have lived my whole life.

When it was time to decide what my life would be like after high school, I had never had the experience of making a big life decision. A decision in which I was the sole decider, all that mattered was what I thought. First I thought I should take a year off from school, going to college later in my life. I was feeling terribly lost in the world and felt that I needed some time to figure myself out. Then a teacher told me to look at the University of Wisconsin-Superior as a possible college choice. He thought it would be a good fit. My rational thinking at the time was that I didn’t want to live in northern Wisconsin. But I found myself checking out more about the college, and in my heart I felt that it was time to take a risk. I listened to my heart and applied for admission.

When I finally made a visit to the college, I knew this was where I wanted to be. As I walked around the campus I felt so happy and excited about coming there in the fall. I would meet new people and be able to reinvent myself.

I decided to follow this energy in my heart and see where it led me. My decision was a heavy one for my family. My parents were not ready to let their oldest daughter go out into the world. It brought a lot of stress into the relationship and they were not happy with my decision. But I had such a strong feeling that this was the next step for me, and I needed to follow that feeling wherever it led me, even if it was back home in a few months. I had no idea how things would turn out and that was part of the beauty inside myself. My heart would lead me, and my spirit and hard work would see me through. I knew this, and felt that everything would work out.

I can’t say it has been easy for anyone, myself included, to leave everything I know behind. Yet, as I leave, I will begin to follow the path that will make me who I am. Every mistake I make along the way will be a mistake that I have to make, a thing to be learned from. Everything I have experienced has made me who I am, and I am forever changing. My parents eventually came to understand my decision. It doesn’t make them happy, nor do they really agree with it. But our relationship will grow and change as I find who I am in the world and discover what I need to do.

“It makes no difference as to the name of the God, since love is the real God of all the world.”

—APACHE SAYING

“Love one another and do not strive for another’s undoing.”

—SENECA INDIAN PROVERB

So when I am asked that question “Why are you going all the way to Superior?” I give answers like “I want to play soccer for them” or “They have a good liberal arts program that will help me determine what I want to do.” Which is all part of it. It is a beautiful place even when it is thirty below zero. But the truth is that I followed my self up there. There is no “rational decision” behind it. My path in life, which I was desperately trying to find, was inside me the entire time. I just needed to allow myself some spontaneity in making decisions, and to let my internal energy and desire for experience determine what I should be doing.

I am learning that it is not really necessary to explain oneself to anyone. Only you can make your decisions for you, and how you make them determines how happy you will be. My decisions will lead to growth, and nurture my experience. It not so much about “finding myself”—I am with myself all the time. It is about listening to myself, to my heart, and speaking from my heart. Everything else will somehow fall into place.

—HAILEY, AGE 18

“The prayer of the heart is the source of all good, refreshing the soul as if it were a garden.”

—SAINT GREGORY OF SINAI, EGYPT

ANCIENT STORY

by Dennis L. Olson

After Creator was done with most of creation he made two very special things. He called them Love and Honor, because they were made of most of the good feelings Creator had for the World. But he had one worry. It was the two-leggeds. He knew that they could take Love and Honor and twist them for selfish reasons. He knew they could make things seem like Love and Honor when they really weren’t. He asked the animals for help.

At dawn, Eagle came soaring from the East. He offered to fly the special creation far up into the sky–eve to the Moon. “That will be a good hiding place,” he told Creator.

The Creator thought about Eagle’s offer for a while, but then shook his head.

“They will find them there,” he said. “One day, another eagle will land on the Moon. It will have two-leggeds inside, and they will find the Special Gifts.”

“The prayer of the heart is the source of all good, refreshing the soul as if it were a garden.”

—SAINT GREGORY OF SINAI, EGYPT

About noon, Mouse scurried to Creator from his home in the South. He offered to take the Gifts and bury them under the vast expanse of grasses on the prairie. “That will confuse them. The prairie is too big.”

Creator thought this idea might work, but then he shook his head.

“No,” he said. “Those two-leggeds will some day turn over the whole prairie with their iron plows. They will leave no room for the First People or the Buffalo. They will find the Gifts.”

At sunset, Bear lurched to where Creator sat, huffing his way from his home in the West. He offered to take the Gifts to the high mountains and dig a deep cave. “If I put them there, the rocks will be too hard for the two-leggeds to dig, and they will give up.”

Creator thought, and then shook his head again.

“Those two-leggeds are resourceful,” he said. “One day they will take giant machines and dig the rock away. They will be looking for shiny things—things that will make them crazy. They will find the Gifts because they will dig holes in the Earth as big as the mountains.”

When it was dark, the night cooled the air, and Wolf loped to where Creator sat. He came from his home in the far North. Wolf offered to take the Gifts to the farthest North spot. He could bury the Gifts in the huge sheet of ice and it would never melt. “They will never want to go there,” he said.

Creator pondered Wolf’s offer for a while, and then, sadly, shook his head again.

“I think those two-leggeds will have a curiosity which will make them do things just because they can,” he said to Wolf. “They will not ask themselves if they should, because they will be so enamored with their skills, I think they will make special boats that will go under the Great Ice, and they will find the Gifts.”

Creator sat until dawn, thinking. Just before the sun rose again, Mole pushed his strange fingered nose from the ground, between Creator’s feet. Mole was startled at first, but then greeted Creator, and asked him what was troubling him. Creator explained the problem.

“Every person,
All events of your life
Are there because you have drawn them there.
What you choose
To do with them is
Up to you.”

—RICHARD BACH, AUTHOR OF ILLUSIONS

Mole was quiet for a while, but then spoke to Creator. “I know I am just a small Mole, and you are the Creator. I know you have asked the wisest animals in the Great Medicine Wheel to help you and they could not. I only know about the insides of the earth, the insides of things, but I have an idea. Why don’t you take the Gifts of Love and Honor and bury them deep inside the hearts of these two-leggeds. They will never find them there . . .”

Creator did. And you know, to this day, the only two-leggeds who have found them are the ones who know where to look.

You know where to look. Knowing the gifts that are inside you will help you learn to live from the heart.

“To know how to choose a path with heart is to learn how to follow the inner beat of intuitive feeling. Logic can tell you superficially where a path may lead . . . but it cannot judge whether your heart will be in it. It is worthwhile to scan every life choice with rational thinking, but wrong to base a life choice on it. Choosing whom to marry or what to do as a life work, or what principles to base one’s life on require that one’s heart be in the choice.”

—JEAN SHINODA BOLEN, M.D.

“The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.”

—MINQUASSI SAYING

“Listening to a liar is like drinking warm water.”

—NATIVE AMERICAN INDIAN SAYING (TRIBE UNKNOWN)

YOUR PATH IS YOUR LIFE

In The Teachings of Don Juan, Carlos Castaneda responds to the burning question we all have, especially during our teen years: “What path do I take?” Don Juan’s advice to Castaneda was as follows:

 

“Does this path have heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn’t. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.”

Don Juan’s statement that “both paths lead nowhere” speaks to the truth that all paths really lead to the same end—our death. It isn’t so much the destination that really matters but the path that you take. You are always on the path. You never really arrive anywhere and stay put! As soon as you are done with one thing, such as high school, you are right back on your path, always moving onward. So it is actually the path that you choose that matters most, and not so much where you believe you will end up. Whether Hailey went to a distant college after high school or took a year off was not as important as whether she followed her heart, her truth. You have so many choices at your age! I guarantee that choosing the “path with heart” will make those choices more effortless.

What really matters is how we live. Are you now, in your teen years, beginning to take a path with heart? To find the path with heart you need to follow your intuitive self. And to live from your heart you have to have courage! It takes courage and heart to become who you are intended to be. Humans are unique in this way. It takes an inner effort and commitment to become someone. Other living creatures don’t have such choices—a sunflower seed becomes a full-grown sunflower, an eagle egg hatches an eagle, all without choice. Growth and being are automatic for all other creatures but humans. Your life is dependent upon the choices you make.

Don’t allow fear to guide your choice of a path. When you let fear make choices for you, you take the path that appears safer but limits you in the end. Fear stops you from taking necessary risks—those actions that stretch you and open you up to your real potential. As you saw in chapter 6, you need to risk asking for what you want in order to manifest it.

Making Decisions with Heart

When there are important choices you are trying to make—bring your heart into it. Imagine bringing the decision down into your heart center. Let this choice live in your heart for a while instead of thinking you have to rush and make a decision. Steer clear of getting caught up in “yes, no, yes, no” thinking. This wrenches the heart and body. Instead, let your self not be sure. Even say to yourself or to others, “I’m not sure right now.” Giving yourself permission not to be sure relaxes the heart and gives you room to make the best choice for yourself at the best time. As Hailey put it, “My path in life, which I was desperately trying to find, was inside me the entire time.”

Heart Meditation

Mudra for heart meditation

This meditation is borrowed from the yoga tradition, and uses a classic hand posture, mudra, to encourage energy to flow from your heart. This hand posture, along with yogic breathing, awakens the heart and slows down the racing mind. You will find that this meditation has a calming effect as you open up to your heart.

Give yourself about five to ten minutes to do this meditation. Sit in a relaxed posture with your eyes closed. Bring your thumbs and forefingers together to form a triangle over your heart center (fourth chakra). Now inhale deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Do eight of these breaths.

Repeat this series of breaths three times, resting after each series with a couple of regular breaths.

Lower your hands, while remaining focused on your heart center. Now ask yourself:
Am I on the path with heart? or Does this path I choose have heart?

Let the breath just breathe through you naturally as you allow an image or thought to come as a response to your question. Continue to breathe, and focus on listening to your heart and paying attention to the answer. Take a few moments to journal your experience.

Just asking the question from the heart is a great practice all by itself. Sometimes you will get a clear response to your question, while other times you will just need to live with the question for a while. When you don’t get an answer while doing the meditation, carry the question out into your daily life with you. Live the question from the heart, and a clear answer will come.

Loving-kindness Meditation
The following meditation on loving-kindness is a 2,500-year-old practice that uses repeated expressions, feelings, and images to develop a loving heart toward ourselves and others.

Sit comfortably and slowly close your eyes. Let your body relax more than you would in the breath meditations. Let yourself be comfortable and rested. As best you can, let your mind rest, letting go of the worries or planning that often goes on. Take a few minutes to bring your awareness to your breath . . . bringing your awareness more and more into this time of meditation. Notice the various sensations in the body. Continue to relax and bring your awareness to your breathing and body.

Then imagine breathing into your heart. On each breath imagine your heart softening and opening. And say quietly to yourself:

 

May I be filled with loving-kindness.

May I be strong and happy.

May I feel good about myself.

May all my dreams come true.

Imagine each cell, molecule, and atom in your body filling up with the meaning of these words. Repeat these phrases again and again, letting the meaning fill you up. Continue to breathe in and out these words of love for yourself. Feel your heart open up to you.

Then begin to include others in the room, or others in your life you care about. Imagine your heart opening up and sending some of this loving-kindness and well wishing to everyone near to your heart. Bring to mind all the people you love and care about. Say these phrases softly to them:

 

May you be filled with loving-kindness.

May you be strong and happy.

May you feel good about yourself.

May all your dreams come true.

Send them this love, while always keeping some for yourself. This keeps you replenished. Include friends, neighbors, teachers, animals, people you know who are suffering and need your loving thoughts.

Imagine sending it anywhere and everywhere.

Try including someone you’re angry with. How does it feel to send him or her these kind thoughts and loving feelings?

Now sit softly in your breath for a while as you fill yourself and the world with your love and kindness.

As you practice this meditation you will experience a deeper and deeper connection to yourself and to others. At first, it may feel awkward or difficult—this is quite common. Keep practicing it, and soon you will find yourself feeling more love for yourself and for others. As Shinzen Young reminds us:

 

“There are two main goals in the spiritual life. One is to have a sense of complete freedom and fulfillment for oneself. The other is to be a source of love and goodwill to others. If you can experience negativity (anger, hate, jealousy) as energy, and ‘recolor’ that energy as love and goodwill, and let it spread out from you, then you will be simultaneously achieving those two goals. With practice, any person can experience a freedom through such a practice.”

Living more and more from your heart chakra will practically guarantee that you will call to you authentic friendships and intimate, safe relationships. Bringing forth your true nature through the exercises and practices in this book will also result in a life filled with positive friendships, worthwhile work, and a passionate love life. All these promises rely on your willingness to continue to open yourself up, to commit to the intuitive life, a life that encourages you to bring forth your true nature and live from the heart.

“The more you ask how far you have to go, the longer your journey seems.”

—SENECA INDIAN PROVERB

“Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems to be dead in winter and later
proves to be alive.”

—PABLO NERUDA, CHILEAN POET

A Model for Changing

You really can change anything that is not working for you in your life. You can change your luck. You can change your chances for a loving, caring relationship. You can change just about anything with this powerful and proven method.

I use the word change with some hesitation. That is because the goal here is not really to change yourself as much as it is to bring forth your true nature. Pema Chodron points out that our need to change ourselves all the time is a form of self-hatred. Always wanting to modify ourselves is not a kind or healthy attitude. Ms. Chodron recommends instead that we befriend ourselves—beginning with accepting ourselves, warts and all. Self-acceptance is a form of true love. It is not your true nature that you want to change, but the obstacles to this true nature.

You can apply this four-step process to anything you want to change in your life.

1. Acceptance. Name what it is that is not working. Accept that this is what is causing the problem in your life.
2. Responsibility. Blaming others needs to cease completely. If you see your problem as somebody else’s fault, then only that person holds the power to change the situation. Be responsible for your own part in the problem. This alone will give you the power to change it.
3. Discipline. You have to be willing to do things differently—to break from comfortable habits and familiar behavior.
4. Change. Going through the first three steps creates change in the Rainbow Body—it will feel different.

Now pick one thing to change and apply this model. Start with just one, so you can easily track its success.

Never Give Up Hope

It is difficult to see the path with heart, or to do much of anything positive for ourselves, if we are feeling hopeless. To have short periods of feeling hopeless is part of the human condition. But when you begin to have long periods of hopelessness you can end up in serious trouble. Getting stuck in the muck of hopelessness often results in depression and drug addictions (you use drugs to feel better, but this works only temporarily).

Our culture can foster feelings of hopelessness by not encouraging you to take care of yourself or to follow your heart’s truth. This high-tech, fast-paced world, where the focus is more on the destination than the path, often overlooks matters of the heart. We are rushed at an early age—off to school in the morning, only to rush from one class to another. (I am often told by students that they are only given a few minutes to get from one class to another, even when it is on the other side of the campus.) All this rushing makes it very difficult to become quiet and still enough to check in with ourselves, our hearts. We can’t do the processes in this book, or even connect with our hearts, while driving down the highway talking on the cell phone.

As I pointed out earlier in the book, it is important to honor our own timing—being rushed through our lives interferes with our true nature. Therefore, to get in touch with ourselves, to feel once again connected to hope and to our path, we need to slow down. And breathe. There is a way through the hopelessness if you just stop and take time for yourself. You can always find an answer. The truth is: You can help yourself. The truth is, there is always hope.

“When at some point in our lives, we meet a real tragedy—which could happen to any one of us—we can react in two ways. Obviously we can lose hope, let ourselves slip into discouragement, into alcohol, drugs, unending sadness. Or else we can wake ourselves up, discover in ourselves an energy that was hidden there, and act with more clarity, more force.”

—HIS HOLINESS THE 14TH DALAI LAMA, VIOLENCE AND COMPASSION

Even though the last thing you may want to do is to reach out—reach out. Doing so is a way to say no to the hopelessness. It says, “I may not be able to see a way out right now, but I know there has to be one.” The best way out of feelings of hopelessness is creating solutions—coming up with ideas and options, and a good friend or trusted adult can help with this.

“Something we were withholding made us weak
Until we found out it was ourselves.”

—ROBERT FROST, AMERICAN POET

“If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.”

—AUTHOR UNKNOWN

IN THE NAME OF LOVE

When we speak of a path with heart, the word love is bound to come to mind. But what does it really mean? So many things are said and done in the name of love. A child is ridiculed in the name of love: I say this for your own good. People try to control and possess each other in the name of love: I don’t want you to move away because I love you. People even kill in the name of love! Love is such a misused word that its true meaning has been lost.

When someone says “I love you,” what love means to him or her could vary greatly from what it means to you! My spiritual teacher suggests that we change the word love to affinity. To have an affinity for someone is to regard and respect this other person as a unique and precious individual. Affinity is an expression of true caring from the heart without a need for the other to behave a certain way.

Love is such a loaded word that it generates a tremendous amount of psychic energy. That is what often makes it so hard to see the truth about love. What has love looked like in your life? Spend some time thinking about the following questions, and journal your responses if you like.

What has been done to you, or by you, in the name of love?

Do those who say they love you respect your individuality?

Do you hold an affinity (a respect and caring) for yourself?

Do you have a true affinity for those whom you claim love?

The Truth about True Love

Is it possible to experience “true love”? Yes, but it may not look exactly like you might expect it to. Many psychologists and healers refer to it as “conscious love.” Now that you are making your own choices about relationships, a healthy and realistic model of true love can help you make decisions that are right for you.

The most important ingredient in true love is individual growth. Yes! If you love someone, and someone loves you, you will encourage each other’s individual growth. This holds true throughout your life. You will support each other’s dreams and goals and allow room to change and grow. Whether the person you love is a friend, parent, or lover, inevitably you have to let that person go to do things that are important to him or her. True love, conscious love, supports your loved one’s individual growth and personal empowerment.

“The longing for love and the movement of love is underneath all of our activities. The happiness we discover in life is not about possessing or owning or even understanding. Instead, it is the discovery of this capacity to love, to have a loving, free, and wise relationship with all of life. Such love is not possessive but arises out of a sense of our own wellbeing and connection with everything.”

—JACK KORNFIELD, BUDDHIST TEACHER, TAKEN FROM A PATH WITH HEART

For couples, true love encompasses more than just an infatuation or attraction to someone. It includes all of these qualities:

personal freedom for both people

good communication on all levels—verbal, energetic, emotional

individual space

responsible behavior toward yourself and the other

personal empowerment

affinity and friendship

compatible goals (but not necessarily the same goals)

caring

bliss (at times)

delight in one another

an ability to say no, and to say yes

allowing the other to be negative as well as positive

there is no coercion by either person

the relationship is nonpossesive

each person understands the basis of their attraction

the relationship is based in truth, not fantasy

both people’s needs are respected

knowing when it is time to move on and say good-bye

True love is more than just wanting that person to be “the one.” When you do fall in love, how can you tell you have found the right person?

“Sometimes a firm ‘no’ or ‘I can’t’ or ‘I won’t allow that; it is beyond my limit’ is the most spiritual thing we can say.”

—JACK KORNFIELD, BUDDHIST PSYCHOLOGIST, AUTHOR OF A PATH WITH HEART

Is This Person Right for Me?

Have you ever gotten into a relationship and awakened one day wondering why you were with this person and how you got in so deep? I have! Usually this happened when I thought the person was special for superficial reasons and I was caught up in trying to get the other person to like me. I didn’t take the time to really see this other person and to notice how I felt in my Rainbow Body when I was with him. I didn’t really take the time to find out if I liked him—I was too concerned with whether or not he liked me. I did this with friendships, too.

What you really want is to be in a relationship with someone you truly care about, who truly cares about you. So how do you know this is really the case in your relationship? You may have learned already that the accepted signs of affection are not so reliable—gift giving, compliments, attentiveness, spending time together. You may have known someone who was good at giving gifts or complimenting you but didn’t really care about you. So can you find out if your relationship is genuine? Yes! By learning to listen to your heart.

“If you have the honesty to pray for real, from the heart, you will be heard.”

—WOUNYE’ WASTE’ WIN, LAKOTA MEDICINE WOMAN

Listening with Your Heart
Begin by developing more awareness of your heart chakra. Practice “listening” and noticing from this place. Rather than focusing all the energy from your head, have your attention come from your heart. This engages the energy of the heart chakra—love, care, compassion, and attentiveness to the Rainbow Body. (Remember to have your second chakra connected with your heart chakra.) This is a very important practice that helps connect the energies of these two chakras—sexuality and compassion—together. Simply visualize a cord connecting your second chakra with your heart chakra (see page 81).

The next time you are with someone you are attracted to, bring your awareness to your heart chakra. You can even place your hand on your heart center. Ask yourself, Does this person care about me? Notice how it feels in your body when you ask this. Stay aware and present. Breathe.

Don’t be willing to drift off, unaware. If you really want to find out what is true between the two of you, don’t use alcohol or drugs on a date. This really messes with your perceptions! Your intuition is dormant when you are high, and all those desires of wanting this to be the right person take over.

Be alert to signs that you are resistant to even knowing whether or not this is the real thing! Sometimes we don’t want to ask a question if we are afraid of the answer. Whatever you hear when you listen with your heart, the power is yours to decide what to do about it. It is always your choice who you will have a relationship with and who you will not. When you are willing to look at the truth within you—in your intuitive, energy body—you will find that you don’t get in harmful or possessive relationships.

An important energy tip: When you are exploring relationships, tuning in to the energy of a situation or person will help you choose true love and true friendships. The energy of another person always tells the truth. When the words don’t match the energy—trust the energy. Pay attention to this, so you won’t end up believing something that isn’t true. Practice noticing when the energy does match the person’s words and when it doesn’t. And always trust the energy.

“Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power is within, and it is available to you now.”

—ECKHART TOLLE, AUTHOR OF THE POWER OF NOW

Possessive Love: Not the Real Thing!

It is all too easy to confuse possessive love with true love. You may believe that someone who wants to know everything you think and do is expressing love; that someone who wants to spend all of his or her time with you loves you; that someone who wants to take care of you by making decisions for you loves you. But this is not true love. This is possessive love.

Possessive love will always harm and undermine you. Being possessed is the opposite of being personally empowered. (Reflect back to the third chakra exercises in personal empowerment in chapter 3.) In a possessive relationship you have to give up parts of yourself. You give up your ability and your right to determine things for yourself (including ending the relationship).

People who need to possess are often afraid of being alone. They tend to “grab” someone they think they love and not let go. They will use power to control someone, rather than empowering themselves and their partner. Possessive love is not necessarily about physical power—but rather about emotional and energetic power over another person. In a possessive relationship there is always an unbalanced energy interchange. Possessive people deplete you of your energy.

An Oglala elder once told me that “a frog does not drink up the pond in which he lives.” She was speaking of all the young women she knew who were letting themselves be “drunk up” by the young men they were in a relationship with. (This can go both ways—there are many stories of young women possessing young men.) Possessive love is abusive (in the name of love) and it robs you of your life energy. It drinks up the very pond in which you live and then greedily leaves you behind and moves on to another pond. True love does not drain you of your energy or life essence. It is never abusive.

Sure signs that you are in a possessive relationship:

• The other person needs to have a say in everything, or most everything, that you do.
• He or she does not give you time to think for yourself and demands immediate decisions.
• You find you are frequently unsure and you let the other person make up your mind for you.
• You spend most, if not all, of your time with this person.
• He or she does not like your friends.
• He or she threatens to leave you if you exert any independence.
• He or she is jealous of your family and/or friends.
• Whenever this person is around, you give your power over to him or her.
• You are losing energy and enthusiasm you had for past interests.
• You find you do things with this person that you said you didn’t want to do.

The more of these statements that are true, the more possessive and dangerous the relationship is. But even if you only recognize one of these as true for you, you may be in a possessive relationship. As long as you are willing to be in this kind of relationship, you will stifle your true nature and true love will elude you. Even true love found in friendships and family relationships is nonpossessive and empowering.

“In the beginning, there is struggle and a lot of work for those who come near to God. But after that, there is indescribable joy. It is just like building a fire: at first it’s smoky and your eyes water, but later you get the desired result. Thus we ought to light the Divine fire in ourselves with tears and effort.”

—AMMA SYNCLETICA, EGYPTIAN HERMITESS, WRITER

“Just as we can’t stop birds from flying over our heads, but can stop them from nesting in our hair, so we can’t avoid evil thoughts, but we can stop them from taking root in our heart and giving birth to evil deeds.”

—MARTIN LUTHER, GERMAN REFORMATION LEADER

”Our first teacher is our own heart.”

—CHEYENNE SAYING

Changing a Negative Belief about Yourself

Of course, if you are full of self-loathing or just don’t care much about yourself, experiencing true love will be nearly impossible. Do you hold some negative, even harmful beliefs about yourself? Negative beliefs hold great power over us because they are accompanied by strong feelings, images, and energy. If they were just thoughts, then maybe they would just float on by, unnoticed. But these negative beliefs carry such potent energy that they are impossible to ignore.

To change a negative belief you hold about yourself takes more than just repeating a simple affirmation. You need to deal with the energy of a given belief, too. When you want to free yourself from a negative picture of yourself, practice the following exercise. This will help release the negative energy from your Rainbow Body as well as release the feelings and images that go with this negative picture you have of yourself.

Take a moment to ground. Then lie down on the floor in a comfortable position, with your neck supported by a pillow. Remember to breathe and do it with little effort. Bring to mind the negative belief you hold about yourself. Is it about your body size? Is it about how you think the opposite sex sees you? Do you perceive yourself as lazy, or dull, or, “too brainy?” For a moment hold the negative thought in your mind. For example: “Things never work out for me” or “I am too brainy.” Then, as you attempt to hold this belief in your mind, imagine filling your entire Rainbow Body with LOVE. Fill up every molecule, every atom, every cell with the energy and intention of love. Infuse the negative belief with the energy of love. Begin to breathe rapidly, with no gap between the in breath and the out breath. Do this breathing for only two minutes. When finished with the two minutes of rapid breathing, relax and enjoy the energy that is in your body.

This exercise is borrowed from rebirthing techniques and the Toltec tradition (Mexican shamanic practices) of freeing ourselves energetically from negative belief patterns. Do this routinely (once a day) with any negative concept you hold of yourself, until you notice that you no longer hold this belief. This also opens up the heart energy, and moves it throughout your entire Rainbow Body.

“Ask questions from your heart and you will be answered from the heart.”

—OMAHA PROVERB

“With all things and in all things, we are relatives.”

—SIOUX PROVERB

DOING FOR OTHERS

Although this book is all about you—you bringing forth your true nature, you listening and acting on your intuition, you living the path with heart—your efforts will have an impact on many others. Living the path with heart will not only benefit you but will also benefit everyone you encounter. Your truth will be like a rock dropped into the middle of a lake—creating ripples that move outward across the entire lake until they reach the shore. You will even have an impact on people you never meet. It matters a great deal to me, and to everyone else, that you bring forth all the love and power that is inside of you.

As you focus on your own journey, you can extend the benefit of your efforts beyond yourself by reciting a dedication prayer for the happiness of others. Every time you are done with a given meditation or practice, you can recite this Tibetan prayer-dedication. You may invent another prayer that works for you or borrow from the many prayers that are used throughout the various spiritual traditions. By offering this prayer at the completion of your personal spiritual practices, you are then dedicating these efforts to benefit all of humanity. Ideally, every act we make, every choice we make, and every exercise we practice can be dedicated in this way, becoming a blessing to everyone.

 

DEDICATION PRAYER

Through the power and truth of this practice
May all beings have happiness
and the causes of happiness.
May all be free from sorrow and the causes of sorrow.

May we all never be separated from our sacred happiness
which is sorrowless.
And may we all live in equanimity
without fear and addiction
And live believing in the equality of all living things.

And from me to you—

 

Through the Power and truth of this practice
May you have happiness.
May your life be free from sorrow and the causes of sorrow.
May you live in freedom
without fear and addiction
And live knowing you are loved and appreciated.

Meeting Your Future Self: A Meditation

You do have a big, mysterious, and beautiful future that awaits you. Okay, okay, there will probably be times of difficulty and, for some, great challenges. Yet the future is bright—trust me on this. Not one of my difficulties or challenges stopped me from having a big, beautiful life, and yours won’t stop you either. If you are having doubt about your future self, take some time and do this meditation. Have someone read it out loud, or record it and listen to the tape. Give yourself ten to fifteen minutes for this meditation. You may be seated or lying down in a comfortable position for this journey.

“I sought my soul
And the soul I could not see.
I sought my God
And God eluded me.
I sought my brother
And I found all three.”

—PRAYER, AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Close your eyes and notice your breathing. Just let the breath move by itself . . . Begin to follow your breath in and out of your nostrils, noticing how it brushes against the top of your nostrils as it moves in and moves out . . . With each exhalation let your body relax . . . relax and breathe . . . Now imagine yourself in your favorite place in nature. Notice the soft white of a few clouds passing by in the blue sky . . . Breathe and relax . . . Now notice that way, way off in the distance an adult is approaching you. This adult that you cannot really see yet is you. The adult “you” is walking toward you, has come back to visit with you and to let you know that your future awaits you . . . This adult “you” has reached his or her full potential . . . Your adult self is full of wisdom, and trusts and acts on your intuition. Let this adult “you” come closer, and stand together in this place in nature that you so enjoy . . . Notice how he or she looks . . . strong and beautiful, self-assured. Begin to talk with him or her, and ask whatever it is you would like to know about your future self. Notice and take in all that you are shown . . . You may see scenes from your future life. Just notice and ask any questions you may have. Reach out and touch this future self, feel the texture and warmth of your adult skin . . . Spend two to five minutes asking your questions, experiencing this future self.

Then say good-bye to your future self and let her or him return back to the future . . . Let your adult self go, knowing you can bring her or him back anytime to visit. Now begin again to notice yourself there alone in your favorite place in nature, feeling stronger and more confident about yourself and your future . . . Return your awareness to your breath, noticing how it moves in and out. Feel your body on the floor and silently count to ten. Gradually open your eyes and sit up slowly. Take some time to share your experience with someone or write in your journal about your visit with your future self.

“If you want the world to become loving and compassionate, become loving and compassionate yourself.”

—GARY ZUKAV, THE SEAT OF THE SOUL

 

 

 

 

“Oh, may this be the one whowill bring forththe good, true and beautiful in ourfamily lineage;Oh, may this be the one who willbreak the harmfulfamily patterns or harmful nation patterns.”

—ANGELES ARRIEN, THE FOUR-FOLD WAY