Tugboat Tooley spotted it first.
Tugboat plays catcher for the Rambletown Rounders baseball team, reigning champs of the ten-to-twelve division.
I play third base.
My name is the Great Walloper, Walloper for short. At least that’s what everybody calls me, because I like to wallop the tar out of the ball. My real name, the one my parents gave me, is Banjo. Banjo H. Bishbash, to be precise. The H stands for Hit. People ask me about my name all the time. “So unusual,” they say.
It gets tiring.
For the record, Hit was my mom’s last name before she married my dad. Banjo is my grandfather’s name and my dad’s, too. Like the musical instrument. For real.
You can see why I prefer Walloper.
At the moment I wasn’t worried about any of that. I was more concerned with keeping the St. Joe Jungle Cats from tying the score.
It was the top of the third inning, no outs, a fair breeze blowing straight in from center. Our pitcher, Slingshot Slocum, stood on the mound protecting a slim 2–1 lead. A St. Joe runner bounced on his toes at second base. From the way he kept glancing in my direction, I knew he was thinking about stealing third.
Crouched behind home plate, Tugboat surveyed the diamond. Nothing gets past Tugboat. Not balls, not base runners, not even the hotdog man out in the bleachers making change for a five spot. Tugboat’s our field general and we rely on him.
A real general would have been nice. He would’ve had an army at his command. As we were about to learn, we could’ve used an army. Maybe the air force, too. Send in the marines just to be safe.
Tugboat flashed a sign. One finger. That meant fastball. A fastball is not a good pitch to steal on. It gets to the plate too quickly. If Slingshot blazed the ball home and Tugboat made a good peg to me, we’d have a good shot at cutting down the runner. All I had to do was make a clean catch and apply the tag.
I shot a look toward second. I wondered if the runner could see Tugboat’s signals as clearly as I could. I hoped not.
At the plate, the St. Joe hitter, batting lefty, dug into the box. He zeroed in on Slingshot like a laser beam. The umpire hunkered down behind Tugboat, one hand resting lightly on the catcher’s right shoulder for balance. The ump, too, was completely focused on Slingshot.
Slingshot kicked and fired a fastball. The St. Joe batter started his swing.
That’s when Tugboat sprang from behind the plate.
“Time out!” he called, flinging away his mask.
He bounced up so quickly, I thought a bee had stung him.
Tugboat’s sudden leap knocked the ump backward, toppling him onto his backside behind home plate. I don’t know what the ump thought. Probably how much he was going to enjoy tossing Tugboat out of the game. While all this was happening, the batter lunged at the pitch and sent the ball dribbling toward short.
“You can’t call time in the middle of a pitch!” the ump barked from the dirt.
Tugboat didn’t say a word. As the hitter took off for first, he just pointed to center field. We whipped our heads around to see what was bothering him. All except Stump Plumwhiff, our shortstop, that is. As I turned, I saw Stump charge the slow roller coming his way and rush a throw to our first baseman, Gilly Wishes.
Then I looked to the outfield to see what had caused Tugboat to act so strangely.
What I witnessed made my knees quake.
A huge, shimmering cloud filled the sky. Shaped sort of like an ice-cream cone lying on its side, it stretched all the way to the horizon. Whatever it was, it was moving.
Fast.
Straight toward us.
The leading edge, where the cone came to a point, dived straight over the high wooden outfield fence. A second later a terrible noise filled my ears. The sound grew louder and louder as the spiraling black thing swirled closer and closer. It buzzed like a million vacuum cleaners sucking up everything in their path.
“What in the world is that?” I shouted.
“It’s an error,” Stump said dejectedly as his throw sailed over Gilly’s head and into the grandstand.
Stump and I always talk out on the diamond. Usually we stick to baseball chatter. “Two, four, six, eight, our pitcher’s looking great!” Stuff like that. “Batter, batter, what’s the matter? Swing, batter!”
“Forget the throw,” I said, pointing toward the outfield. “What is that thing?”
Stump looked up and finally caught his first glimpse of the buzzing cone. His eyes were only a little bigger than stop signs as he said, “Walloper, I do believe it’s a tornado!”
“I never saw a tornado that moved sideways,” I shouted back over the rising din.
In fact I had never seen a tornado at all except in movies. This didn’t look like any Hollywood twister.
We call Stump “Stump” because he has an answer for everything. You can never stump him. If he doesn’t know the answer, he makes one up. If Stump said this thing was a tornado, I was prepared to believe him.
“Run for your lives!” I shouted.
My teammates were way ahead of me.
Literally.
Most of them were already halfway to our low concrete dugout on the third-base side of the diamond. The St. Joe base runners chugged past us going the other way. They didn’t bother to stay inside the base paths. It looked more like a footrace than a baseball game.
Just then a remote-control helicopter fell out of the sky. It landed with a whine, smack in the middle of the diamond.
Another one plunged to the ground behind it. Then another and another.
An armor-plated green one swooped down and knocked Stump’s cap off his head as he scrambled for cover. One thing you should know about Stump: he practically never takes off his cap. He wears it summer and winter, day and night. He probably wears it in the shower. The sight of his stand-up red hair was shocking.
But not nearly as shocking as what was dropping onto the field.
It wasn’t helicopters at all. It was grasshoppers. Millions and millions of huge grasshoppers.
My first reaction was relief. That massive black cloud wasn’t a tornado after all. My second was a severe case of the heebie-jeebies: bugs covered every inch of the field. More poured over the fence every second. In the stands, screaming fans climbed all over each other to reach the exits.
The umpire waved his hands in the air.
“I’m calling the game,” he said. “It’s canceled due to grasshoppers.”
Then he kicked up his heels and joined the mass exodus from Rambletown Field. Within a few minutes, the ballpark was completely deserted. Deserted by fans, that is. The insect population had never been higher.
From the safety of the dugout, my teammates and I watched the cloud of bugs settle on the field. It was like having a front-row ticket to one of those nature programs on the Animal Channel on TV: “When Grasshoppers Attack!”
Except that it was real.
And it was live.
And instead of in some far-off savanna in Africa or wherever, it was happening right here in Rambletown.