ARMAND
“This is one of my favorite places. I love it here,” Ella said through a sigh.
“Yeah, it’s beautiful here. Peaceful. Was a time when peace and quiet bothered me,” I said as we sat facing each other in the big, circular tub that rested on the patio.
“Why? I’m the opposite. I love serenity.”
Shrugging, I lifted her foot from the water, kissing one perfectly painted red toenail. “It’s…I guess I grew up with so much chaos, peace just felt strange to me. Alien, really.”
“Your mom is so sweet. Was she not a good mother?”
Kissing another toe, I said, “No, she was a wonderful mother. It was her men. All of them, including my father, were assholes who hit her. I would wake up in the middle of the night to her screaming. She had so many black eyes, a broken nose, concussions, and I felt helpless because I was just a kid. You know why I fight so much? I think it’s because once I was big enough to fight them, I was able to protect her. I kind of stay in that mode now. You know, stay ready so you don’t have to get ready, but…but I have a hard time turning that readiness off when I don’t need it.”
She leaned forward a little, her breasts appearing to float on the water. “What do you mean?”
“Shit, I ain’t said sir in—”
“It’s okay. I’ll punish you for that later. Just…just talk to me.”
I had to smile. “You’re a trip, but anyway, I…damn, I think I’m scared to tell you this.”
“I told you I slept through Jackson’s death. You can tell me anything, or have you stopped trusting me?”
“No…uh, I used to hurt my mom. I never tried to, but…now I know I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Sometimes, I get so angry that I lose control of myself. Half the time, I barely remember doing the shit. With my mom, it was like, she’d just be in the way. I ain’t try to put my hands on her. I’m just fucked up, sir. I’m real fucked up. I love my mom so much. The last time I remember being as happy as I am now is when I was in Miami and she was there with me. She’s everything to me. It kills me that I hurt her. I just…I’m defective or something.”
“You’ve never hurt me. Not once, and I’ve done all kinds of stuff to you.”
“I know, but I ain’t dumb enough to think I’m cured. I’ll probably be fighting this shit for the rest of my life.”
“Then I’ll fight it with you.”
My eyebrows wrinkled up as tears jumped into my eyes. My words came out as a sob. “You care that much about me…sir?”
“Yes, I do,” she said, moving to straddle me. Taking my face in her wet hands, she kissed every inch of it, softly saying, “I love you,” between each peck. When her mouth finally found mine, I stopped fighting my tears, letting them flow freely as she reached between us and guided me inside her. My mouth fell open and head fell back as she showed me her love until I damn near left my own body.
ELLA
“That ain’t the chicken head!” I yelled from my seat on the bed.
“Yeah it is! You just don’t know the chicken head when you see it! Look!” Standing at the foot of the bed with the glass patio doors behind him, Armand started doing what I knew to be the cabbage patch.
Laughing, I informed him, “I’m the one with the old parents, so I know what I’m talking about. That ain’t the chicken head, Armand DeShawn!”
Grinning, he challenged, “I bet you don’t know what this is, though.”
Now I was laughing so hard, my stomach started cramping. “Nigga, that’s the chicken head!”
“Nah, this the running man!”
“OMG, how can you be both black and this confused about dancing?”
His phone began to ring, making him roll his eyes. “That’s probably my mom. You lucky she called and saved your ass. I was about to bust out the milly rock.”
“I can only imagine which dance you’ve got that one mixed up with.”
I watched as he grabbed his phone from the night table and sat with his back to me. He was naked and so was I. It was hard to think of a time when we weren’t nude when we were together, and I wasn’t sure if that was because we were just that comfortable with each other or we were just that horny. Maybe both? I wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying, although I’d heard him say his agent’s name. I was too busy thinking about how it felt to be with him, how much I loved him, how much he loved me. We were both so shattered, but at the same time, perfect for each other. With his wounds superimposing mine, we were unblemished—healed.
He finally ended the call, turned to me, and said, “That was Nate. He wants to meet with me next week after we get back.”
“Oh…where are y’all gonna meet?”
“I’m not sure. Knowing Nate, we’ll probably go have lunch somewhere or we’ll meet at my place.”
“Invite him over to my place for dinner.”
He frowned. “For real?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
He sat there and stared at me before saying, “Sir, can I eat your pussy?”
Lifting an eyebrow, I said, “Yes, you may.”
And then…well, he ate my pussy.
ARMAND
It was dark, late the night before we were leaving our little piece of paradise to return to the states. The upside was we were taking a private flight. The downside was we were returning to reality. Meetings and stuff for me, modeling gigs for her. But for now, I was content to lie in that bed and stare up through the open roof at the stars in the clear sky.
“I don’t want to leave,” she said, the warmth of her breath grazing my bare chest.
“Me either, sir. Means we gon’ have to put on clothes.”
She laughed. “I really love you; you know that?”
“I love you so much, the shit hurts, sir.”