chapter 43

Nic

People say that in the last few minutes of your life, everything slows down. I thought it was just the BS that some people say to make their story sound cool. They make it sound like a Lifetime movie where memories of a dying character’s life flash across the screen while sad music plays in the background. I didn’t think it was real. Well, I know now—it’s real. It is like flashes of images across the screen, except with every memory you see, you re-experience every single feeling of the memory, and all of it’s done within seconds.

“You never finished explaining what the Rick Astley song was about. Why don’t I take you to dinner and you can tell me about it?”

“No, thank you.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not interested.”

Sounds swirled around me in the darkness. My father’s barking voice, sirens in the distance, feet crunching on gravel. Then I heard Mandi’s voice crying out for me. I reached out, struggling to reach her. A weight slammed into my chest, making me fall deeper into the abyss.

“I know pressure, Mandi. The pressure to be the perfect son. The pressure to win at all costs because that’s the Marcelli way. Because I have to be number one.”

“I didn’t know.”

“That’s why I wanted you to go out with me, Mandi. I wanted you to see the real me.”

“You don’t have to pretend with me. I see you now, Nic. The real Nic.”

A light flickered.

I pushed forward, desperate to reach the light, knowing Mandi was on the other side, waiting for me. I opened my mouth, trying to suck in much needed air. Nothing. I was drowning, falling back into the pit of black.

“I love you! Oh God. I said it. I really said it. I love you, Nic. I’ve always loved you.”

A touch.

Soft fingers lingered on my chest, tugging at my heart. I dug in deep, using everything I had within me to reach Mandi.

“I love you, Nic. Please wake up. Please. Stay with me, Nic,” Mandi sobbed.

With one final push, pain surged through my chest as I finally opened my eyes.

“Mandi.” I croaked, choking on salty liquid. “Juan?”

“Shh, Julian is with him. He wasn’t hurt.” Tears rolled down her cheek as she touched my face, gently stroking it.

The sirens grew closer. Muffled voices became clear, and I heard Julian arguing with my father. Then I heard other voices trying to calm them. Painfully, I turned my head to see what was happening. Mandi’s soft hair tickled my cheek as she hovered over me. Her hair was a silk curtain, shielding me from the rest of the world, protecting me. The sky darkened again with the exertion, and her sobs began to fade.

And I began to dream. It felt like a dream. Soft lips pressed against mine. And I knew it wasn’t a dream. Mandi was calling me back to her. I dug in deep, calling on every ounce of strength I had to keep myself from falling into the abyss yet again.

Don’t give up. Keep going.

I could hear her whimpers. Each cry tore at my heart, and I tried harder. I was slipping. I wanted to stay with her. She needed me.

Then I heard familiar words, words that seemed to come from a different lifetime.

“Don’t you die on me, Marcelli.”

I stepped out from the darkness and onto the banks of the Koppe River. I looked down at my water soaked clothes. Mandi stood in front of me, looking like a goddess in the red gown, the same one she’d worn to Cassie and Cody’s wedding. Her dark eyes gazed at me with longing as she repeated the words.

This was a dream. It had to be.

“Does that mean you’ll go out with me? I’m guessing you will . . . seeing as how you brought me back to life and all,” I murmured.

“Bite me, Marcelli.” She turned on her heel, her hoop earrings swinging. She paused then turned back around, her face in torment.

“Don’t leave me,” she said, her voice shaking. Then she grabbed my shirt as if afraid I’d disappear. In a blink, my clothes shifted. I was now in a tux, and we were back in the Koppe High gym. Quickly, I clutched her close to me, not knowing how long I would have with her before the darkness took me back.

“I love you, Mandi.” I kissed the top of her head.

Dark eyes gazed up at me. Red lips moved slowly as she spoke the familiar words again. “Don’t you die on me, Marcelli.”

Her voice echoed in my mind, growing louder.

“Do you hear me, Nic? Don’t you dare die on me!”

With a push, I opened my eyes and stared up into the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen, eyes that followed me, even when they were angry, eyes that always held love for me. I opened my mouth to speak and winced at the pain the movement caused. I took a breath, braving the pain, gasping as I spoke.

“You’ll . . . go . . . out . . . with me?”

“Yes, you silly man,” her voice squeaked. Her voice began to fade as I felt the darkness come after me again. And for a brief moment, it came to a standstill when she mentioned something about the laundry.

“Pink boxers.” I smiled as she talked. I wanted to hold onto her voice. But I was losing. I could feel it. I couldn’t leave her. Not yet. She had to know.

“Mandi.” I struggled to open my eyes again. Finally, there they were, those beautiful, dark eyes. “I love you.”

Then the shadow’s arms gently wrapped around me, pulling me back into the abyss. And as I drifted, all I could hear was the thumping of my heart and Mandi’s sweet voice lulling me to sleep.

“I love you. Please, Nic, I can’t live without you. You’re my life. Come back to me. Please.”

She still loves . . . me.

Thump, thump.

I . . . didn’t . . . lose her.

Thump, thump.

She . . . loves . . .

Thump, th—