Charlotte was gone when we returned to Harvard, though Sass and Gram remained. Varity sat in casual languor, long legs crossed, foot bouncing on the end of her bobbing knee, a grin on her face.
“Hear you need some help raising the dead,” she said.
“Something like that.” Dread washed over me at the thought of returning to the cavern below, though I didn’t know why. Maybe I’d had enough of death, thanks. Regardless, if we were going to talk to the vampires, this seemed like the only way to accomplish it.
Mom and Dad joined us as we descended the elevator deep below Massachusetts Hall, and emerged into the dank, dark corridor. So quiet here, where once many voices whispered in the black, wanting me to pay attention to the lives they’d lived.
“It feels as though all the spirit magic has been drained from this place,” Max said, rumbling voice making me jump.
Varity cocked her head to one side, old eyes tight with concentration. “I never noticed before,” she said. “But, you’re right, dragon man.”
I hid my grin behind my hand while Max smiled kindly down on the old Enforcer leader.
Sass walked beside me in cat form, his body brushing against my ankles and calves as though trying to keep constant contact. I’d offered to carry him, but he’d rejected the gesture, choosing to pad along on his own.
I missed the feel of his furry body and wished he’d change his mind.
We entered the Hayle vault, Mom shivering as we did, rubbing at her arms with both hands. Dad slipped his arm around her shoulders, the two tucking themselves into a corner while Gram and Varity strode ahead, toward the end of the vault where the most recent bones lay.
“I don’t know about this, Syd,” Gram said, frowning in tandem with Varity as the pair looked around, clearly confused. “Usually this place is a hotbed of chatter.” So she’d noticed it, too? “But I can’t feel much of anything.”
“Just do your best,” Max said.
Gram snorted at him. “Naturally,” she snapped. “I’m just saying.”
Varity offered her one hand which Gram took firmly in her own. “Give us a minute,” the Enforcer leader gruffed before lowering her head close to my grandmother’s. I opened my power to them, to offer what support I could, but had to retreat when the family magic tried to slip free of Gram and return to me. Sneaky. Gram glared, lips twisting in irritation.
“If you want it back that badly,” she said, “just take it.”
I shook my head. “Sorry, I was trying to help.”
“Then stay out of it,” Gram said. And closed her eyes.
I shielded my power carefully from them, though was able to monitor their progress through the touch of my vampire. It didn’t take long for disappointment to settle in. Even Max sighed as the two struggled to find what just wasn’t there anymore.
When the pair finally opened their eyes, they both seemed sad.
“I’m sorry, girl,” Gram said, shaking her head, dropping Varity’s hand. “Whatever is going on, the echoes have left.”
“Or, have been drawn away,” Varity said. “There’s just nothing to reach for anymore.”
Well, that sucked. Not only that my family’s echoes were gone—the legacy of the Hayle coven—but that, it seemed, our ability to reach Alison and Sebastian was gone with them.
“Thanks for trying,” I said, doing my best to hide my disappointment.
“The spirit magic is suffering,” Max said. “More than I realized.”
“Could it be interfering with Gabriel’s ability to find the other pieces?” If the loss of spirit magic was screwing around with the vampires, sending them to the void, it had to be having an impact on all of us.
Which made me do a quick internal check as Max sighed and shrugged, a rather noncommittal response I wasn’t expecting.
“Who knows?” Not like the drach leader to seem so lost. “Even after all these centuries, there are still mysteries of Creator’s Universe that surprise and confound me.”
Lovely. And not what I wanted to hear.
We parted ways, Mom hugging me extra tight a moment before letting me go. Max and Jiao returned to the Stronghold without a word to me, as though knowing I needed to be alone. And while I wished I could just stay in Wilding Springs with Gram, Demetrius and Sass, forget everything for a little while and pretend I was just Syd again, the puzzles of my life were piling up and up and up, just like they used to before I left. One thing I’d learned along the way, though. Trying to tackle multiple things at a time could make my brain melt down. Pick one, sort it out as far is it would go, then move on.
So, Creator would wait a few more hours while I hashed out this particular puzzle, the mystery of the disappearing undead and their spirit magic. And I only knew one person who might be able to help me find a way around the problem.
The same person who only a short while ago swore her head off at me. Maybe Meira had better control of her temper now.
Sass let me go, to my surprise. “You two need to work things out,” he said. “I’ve had my moment. Go let her yell at you some more. Then, come home, Syd.”
I kissed his furry brow before returning to the basement. It felt like forever since I’d done something so formal as to knock on the veil between our planes, opening a small window from Wilding Springs to Demonicon. But it seemed like the right thing to do.
Meira sat at her desk, looking up at the interruption. A frown pinched her brow, but she didn’t seem as angry this time. “What’s up?”
Not exactly a warm greeting, but neither was it unwelcoming. “I need to talk to you.” And not just about the failure to reach echoes on my plane. I discovered as I stood there, biting my lower lip in worry she’d reject me, I really, really needed to talk to my sister. To have her understand. To beg her to forgive me.
She finally nodded, standing from her desk. “I have a few minutes,” she said.
So cold. I could hardly be angry with her for that.
I stepped through and into her plane, feeling the warmth of Demonicon replace the chill of the basement. I purposely kept my human size and shape, wanting her to feel my vulnerability. The last thing I needed right now was a confrontation.
Meira sat on the front of her desk, arms crossed over her chest. It never failed to amaze me just how stunningly beautiful she was in her demon form. Tall, lean body curved in all the right places sheathed in a shining black cat suit, long, curly black hair hanging around her like a cloak. Polished horns winding away from her smooth, red-tinted brow. And those piercing, amber eyes that cut through me. She’d grown so much, though there were times it was still hard not to picture her as the tiny, happy girl she’d been.
So much had changed. For both of us.
“What did you want to talk about?” She raised one eyebrow. “Or did you just want to stand there and stare at me for a while?”
I flushed, cleared my throat. “The echoes are gone,” I said. “Gram and Varity couldn’t find any to use to reach Alison.”
Meira sighed, nodded. “I’ve been doing some investigating here on Demonicon,” she said. “The spirit power here seems greatly diminished as well. What little there was in the first place. At least it’s not affecting the Node.” That was good to hear. We’d already gone through a giant mess twice with the core of power holding the planes of Demonicon together. A third time would suck.
“I wasn’t sure what else to do,” I said. “Thought maybe the two of us could come up with something.”
She didn’t comment for a long time, glowing eyes slitted. “Come,” she said at last, gesturing for me to join her as she stood and circled her desk. “Sit down a minute, would you?”
Um, okay. I took the low, deep chair next to hers, sinking into the soft cushioning. Was this Ram’s seat?
“You’re not here to talk about the vampires,” Meira said.
When did she grow so wise?
“I guess not,” I said.
“You want me to tell you I understand why you did what you did,” my sister said, expressionless, voice flat. “That I forgive you and love you and am happy to see you.”
I had a feeling none of that was forthcoming. It hurt, but I had to be prepared for it.
“Of course to all the above,” Meira said. “Of course, Syd.”
I burst into tears. Covered my face with both hands. Leaned forward over my knees and let myself cry a moment. When I looked up, breathing deeply to pull myself under control, her expression hadn’t changed. No softness, no caring. Just intensity.
“But, we need to get one thing straight,” she said. “Utter honesty, sister mine.”
I gulped back more sorrow and nodded.
“You didn’t leave for the greater good,” Meira said. “You ran away.”
She might as well have slapped me. Even the girls rebelled, all of us speaking at the same time. That wasn’t true! I—
“Syd,” my sister said, amber eyes flaring with fire. “You ran away, Syd.”
I—
I.
It sank in. Her words, the truth. The girls went silent, contemplating, their quiet only making things worse. But no, I left to protect everyone, to keep them safe—
“Syd.” One of her hands twitched toward me, settled. “Stop it.” She leaned closer, the power of Demonicon swirling around us both. “Stop lying to yourself. Or this has been for nothing.”
Did I run away?
Oh, my darling Syd, my vampire sent. Of course you did.
We all did, my demon sent, equally quiet, hurt.
We had to, Shaylee sent, tears in her voice.
Or we wouldn’t have survived, my vampire sent.
Something hot dripped continually on my hand. I looked down to see I was still crying, a river of tears falling into my lap, wetting my gray skin.
Oh. My. Swearword.
“I had to go,” I said. “To focus on my purpose.”
Meira glared. “Right,” she said. “So, tell me. In the last six months, how much exactly have you accomplished?”
My mind tried to respond. But my heart knew what my brain refused to admit.
“Let me get this straight,” my sister said, sarcasm so thick it pressed down on me like a physical weight. “You spent six months playing drach, soaring around the Universe. Found squat and did squat. And you call that a purpose?”
No, it wasn’t like that. “I had to protect you. All of you.”
“Wow,” she said. “You did a great job. Considering everything at home is falling apart and all.”
She… that wasn’t… wait…
Choke.
“I ran away,” I whispered. “Meems, how could I be so selfish?”
How could I? The black ribbon flexed in sympathy before falling silent.
Meira sighed deeply, smiled at last, the intensity gone from her face. My sister shone through, the old, sweet girl I knew, not Ruler any longer. “What the hell is wrong with being selfish?”
I gaped at her, tried to answer. Finally managed it. “I cut everyone off,” I cried, a wail in my voice. Hateful wail. “I left everything behind.” Panic tore through me like an avenging angel, jerking me off balance, forcing the air from my lungs. I could feel myself beginning to hyperventilate, unable to get my breath, half rising from the chair in an effort to escape the truth—
Meira’s power slammed into me, shoved me down into the chair. Grasped me firmly in her grip and made me look.
Right. At. The. Truth.
I sobbed again, this time in utter anguish that felt worse than anything I’d ever endured. Worse than losing Liam, than thinking I’d lost Gabriel. I relived, in those few moments of time, all the pain I’d run from six months ago. And fresh agony, Payten’s swollen belly added to the insult and injury.
I sobbed until I didn’t have tears left. Hiccupped my way into silence while my sister held me in her power and watched without a word.
“You done?” She handed me a handkerchief from her desk. I snuffled, wiping my face and blowing my nose.
Nodded.
My sister sat back, hands folding over her flat stomach, face finally sad. “I’m sorry, Syd,” she said. “But you had to get it.”
Here I’d thought she had to understand. “When did you become the older sister?”
She grinned at me, winked. “I had a good teacher.”
“I wish.” My body sagged, exhausted from the emotional turmoil. And I cringed as I sank into regret and, in all honesty, embarrassment so acute it hurt.
“You realize,” Meira said, wry and full of humor, “we’ve all been there, done that. I bought the t-shirt. Wore it until it had holes in it.” She wrinkled her nose. “Pit stains.” I snorted a small laugh, couldn’t help myself. “Used it as a rag for a while.” She shook her head. “Six months to my four years, sis. I’m rather jealous.”
“What do I tell everyone?” They’d hate me for sure, now. I’d never survive the shame.
“Nothing,” Meira said. “Why tell them anything? Syd.” She finally leaned forward and took my hands in hers. The warmth of her skin, the connection to her power, formed an instant bond, reattaching the link between us much as the one with Sass and I. “You needed to go. You had to. I’m surprised it took you that long.” Meira’s face, softened by kindness, hardened again. “But you only get one shot at running away. Your vacation is over. We need you. The Universe needs you.”
I nodded, a soft feeling of relief rising inside me. Okay then.
“Done?” Meira stood, pulled me up with her.
“I guess,” I said. Tried to hand her the soiled hanky. “Unless you have more of these.”
“You can keep it,” she said. “Now, go save everyone, for the element’s sake. I’ve got things to do.”
I hugged her, laughed shakily, knees like rubber. “I love you, Meems.”
“I love you, too.” She let me go, smiling. Before I could leave, though, the veil open before me, she snorted, a wicked gleam in her eyes. “Did I ever tell you, I had a nickname for you when we were young? That I called you in my head when I was mad at you?”
I shook my head, shocked. We’d had our moments, but I thought she adored me. Imagine the arrogance of that.
“Syd the Squid,” she said, wrinkling her nose, voice going nasal and lispy. “Thid the Thquid.” She giggled. Held up her hands and wriggled her fingers at the floor right under her chin.
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Pictured her drawing me like that, with tentacles coming out of the bottom of my head. “Nice.”
She shrugged, dropped her hands to her sides. “Helped when I was pissed at my perfect sister.” Meira paused. “I know better, now. And love you more for being flawed like me.”
She had no idea.
I left her, but didn’t go home—when did I start thinking of Wilding Springs as home again? Instead, I stepped out of the veil on the flat mountain top and sat on the edge, firmly wrapped in magic to keep me safe, and stared out over the expanse of Demonicon.
Breathed. Accepted. Bowed my head at the shame I still felt.
Six months and a whole lifetime of pain.
You all knew, I sent.
Not at the time, my demon sent. But when we woke… I guessed.
And I, my vampire sent.
Shaylee just shrugged.
Why didn’t you say something? They could have warned me I’d been an asshole.
You didn’t need the pressure, my vampire sent.
The whole point of those six months was to heal, Shaylee agreed.
I thought about it a moment more, the weight of my flight finally leaving me as I embraced my weakness. And sighed out my hurt.
That, my vampire sent, soft and kind, is the reason you succeed, Sydlynn Hayle. You are flawed, yes, as your sister says. But you are willing, always, to accept what you can’t change, to allow yourself to live with the consequences and move forward no matter what.
I almost didn’t this time, I sent. What if I hadn’t woken up?
I don’t think the Universe would have given you a choice, my demon sent.
Right. The dream. Liam. And Alison.
You think it was time? That’s why Alison appeared to me? Made sense, I guess.
Perhaps Creator herself understood enough time had passed for you to move ahead again. And, who knows the perfect timing of the Universe? My vampire fell quiet while I turned that over in my head.
Perfect timing. Good enough explanation as any.
So, I sent, if I woke at this moment for a reason, what reason was it?
To talk to the vampires, my demon sent, almost automatic in her reply.
But, without the echoes of the dead to do so, I sent, what’s the point?
It was Shaylee who gasped, who put the puzzle together first. Syd, she sent. What if it’s not the echoes of your family? But a specific echo.
I frowned. And felt the gut-punch of my own understanding. Liam, I sent.
They all sighed sadly.
But that can’t be right, I sent. Liam is gone. I gulped through the fresh pain of that. He was Sidhe. He didn’t have an echo, remember?
No, Shaylee sent, but he was also human.
And humans did have echoes.
I leaped to my feet. You think he might still be waiting for me? But where?
Oh, Syd. Of course.
The veil parted for me with a sense of its own excitement as I leaped on pure impulse, into its dark embrace.
And the only place Liam’s heart could be waiting for me.
***