Chapter 19

Bern, March 1914

The ballroom of the Bellevue Palace was bathed in blinding bright light from the crystal chandeliers. The space immediately overwhelmed Rebecca with its noise, body heat, and the obvious anxiety of the young women, standing near their mothers and waiting to be noticed. Curse Mother! She scanned the room for a place to hide.

“How magnificent!” Hannah exclaimed, tugging at Rebecca’s arm.

“I feel as if I’m going to go blind. All this electrification!” Grandmother covered her eyes with a fan.

“Our pupils can adapt to the brightest light, Grossmami,” Rebecca said, frantically searching for Sarah, who was supposed to attend with her younger sister. She needed to tell her that Father had promised to speak to a friend of his, a lawyer, about the possibility of divorce for Sarah. Sarah’s own father refused to hear anything about the matter.

“You’ll stay with your family tonight,” Mother demanded, noticing Rebecca’s searching.

“Mother, you can’t possibly expect me not to greet my friends,” she said.

“I can expect you to behave as your parents wish.”

Father wasn’t even there yet. He was still finishing up with patients and would join them later. He resented these social events. And so did she!

“There had better be wine or champagne,” Rebecca whispered to Hannah.

Walking on the slippery, polished floor, she cursed the hideous pale-green dress she had been forced to wear. The color wasn’t the worst of it—the heavy brocade was draped all around her, making it impossible for her to sit down. The dress’s heavily beaded bottom tangled constantly around her ankles, forcing her to walk in tiny, measured steps. Hannah suffered a similar fate, but her gown at least had a lovely cream color that highlighted her skin tone.

Rebecca found refuge by a window, leaning awkwardly against it and hiding behind a curtain. Spring snow was falling gently outside, and she watched the floppy snowflakes landing on the bushes. The heat in the ballroom was intolerable, and she imagined the snowflakes landing on her flaming face instead. She wondered how long it would take for her mother to notice if she took off her itchy long gloves.

“I hate these things, don’t you?” A male voice with an American accent pulled her away from the window.

“More than anything in the world,” Rebecca said, then quickly covered her mouth.

He laughed. “You shouldn’t feel embarrassed. I wasn’t trying to catch you. I truly meant it. I resent this type of social event.”

Rebecca recovered and examined the stranger with interest. He was impeccably dressed, dark-haired and handsome. Clearly, an eligible bachelor.

“Then why are you here?” she asked.

“I have a mother and a sister who live for entertainment. My sister’s been ill, and we brought her to Switzerland for treatment. We should’ve gone home, but the doctors insist that a few months in the mountain air will do her good.”

“There are worse places to be than Switzerland.”

“Certainly. But I have work to do, you see, at home. My apologies. I neglected to introduce myself. Edward Fischer, of New York.”

Rebecca stretched her hand to meet his. “Rebecca Miller, of Bern.”

“And are you here with your family?”

“Yes, all of them.” She sighed.

“And why are you hiding?”

“I have no wish to be married.” She clapped her hand to her mouth again. “I apologize. I don’t mean to be rude. But I do tend to speak my mind.”

Edward laughed and sat down on the windowsill near her. “It’s quite all right. I have no wish to marry either. You see, I wish to choose my own wife and not have someone forced on me at a ball. But what about you? Why don’t you wish to be married?”

“I’m studying to be a doctor. I have no time for marriage and children right now. I have patients to care for, and I’m preparing for my clinical exams.”

He whistled. “Admirable. We don’t have too many female doctors in America. At least, I’ve never met any. I’m guessing your family’s not in agreement with that, though, given that you’re here, at this matchmaking event?”

He was intelligent, she had to give him that. “No. My mother’s trying to marry me off, so that I’ll give up being a doctor and just become a wife and a mother.”

“Mothers don’t always know what’s best for their daughters. My sister is very smart—probably much smarter than I am—but our mother won’t allow her to study at a university. She wants her to marry and bear children, and that’s it. We argue about this all the time.”

“Thank you. And I’m sad that your sister can’t be educated.”

“Yes, things are different in America.” The music changed, and Edward offered his hand to her. “Would you mind? Just one dance? Waltz is the only one I know.”

“I’m a terrible dancer.” Rebecca shook her head.

“So am I, but we can both fake it. You can step on my feet all you like. I won’t complain.”

He took her hand gently and led her away from the window and onto the crowded ballroom floor. Her heart was beating wildly. It had been years since she attempted to dance at a ball. She had always been terrible at dancing and swore she’d never do it again. She hadn’t had to, either, since going to the university. Why did she agree to dance now? What was she thinking?

The music started. She felt his hand slide gently around her waist. Suddenly, she was flying on the dance floor, despite her clumsy feet and her terrible, heavy dress.

“You deceived me. You’re a great dancer,” Edward whispered in her ear, his mustache tickling her and his breath warming her neck.

“I did no such thing.” She smiled.

“Maybe you’ve never had a good dance partner.”

She looked at him and felt herself blushing, noticing the open admiration in his eyes. No one except for Mark had ever looked at her this way. But Mark loved her mind, her fortitude in medical studies, her courage, and her knowledge. This man didn’t know her at all! But he really was very handsome, with his dark eyes sparkling at her and a smile that seemed to know just what she was thinking.

“Do you find it difficult to live in Switzerland? Is it much different from America?” she asked.

“Not very. The bank I work for has offices here in Bern, and I’m able to continue working as always.”

“You are a banker?”

“I’m a bank broker, for J.P. Morgan.”

“Sounds like a fascinating job.”

“Not as fascinating as being a physician, I’m afraid.” He turned her with ease, and she noticed some jealous stares from the other young women.

“I think any honest job is admirable and fascinating,” she replied.

He laughed. “That’s very true.”

The music ended, and Rebecca found she regretted it as he led her back to her spot by the window.

“It was a pleasure to meet you and dance with you.” Edward bowed and kissed her hand, holding it gently.

“Yes, it was a pleasure for me as well,” she said.

“Perhaps we may meet at another time and you’ll allow me another dance, or just the pleasure of your company.”

“Yes,” she said. “If we meet at another time.”

She watched him walk away and wondered if she’d ever see him again. She was imagining the feel of his warm breath on her neck when Sarah came up behind her and hugged her.

“I didn’t know you still remembered how to dance,” Sarah teased.

“I didn’t.”

“Must’ve been your handsome prince then.”

“Not a prince—an American banker. I only danced with him so that Mother would know I’m making an effort and leave me in peace for a few weeks,” Rebecca explained. “The truth is, it’s been quite awful at home. They send a car to pick me up after the lectures, and they don’t allow me to go anywhere. Maybe if I dance with a few of these men, I’ll have some peace.”

“How are you surviving with not being able to see Mark, then?” Sarah asked.

“I haven’t seen him in months.” Rebecca wiped at the tear rolling down her cheek.

“Is he that afraid of your father?”

“He’s been gone. Lara said he received a letter that his mother’s been ill and left right afterward. But there’s been no word on when he’s coming back. If ever.” She hid farther behind the curtain, tears pouring freely now. “I feel him. All the time. Like a thin thread is connecting us. I wish it would break, and I could forget all about him.”

Sarah sat next to her on the windowsill. “He never said goodbye?”

“He wrote a poem in one of my textbooks,” Rebecca said. “I found it the other day, when I was studying. It said,

You are mine, I am yours,

Thereof you may be certain.

You’re locked away

Within my heart.

Lost is the key

And you must ever be therein.

Sarah hugged her. “I haven’t been a good friend to you. I should visit you more often.”

“You’ve been a great friend. You’ve had your own problems to contend with,” Rebecca said. “I need to tell you something. I finally spoke to Father about your situation.”

“You did what? How could you?”

“No, don’t worry. He understands and is very sympathetic. You’ve known him since you were a little girl. Why do you think he wouldn’t help you?”

“Because all men want the same thing of women—to trap them into marriage and childbearing,” Sarah said, sighing.

“Shhh. You know my father’s not like that. He sent me to medical school, not to get married.”

“And what are you doing here, then?”

“It’s all my mother. She’s the one poisoning his mind. And I’m still allowed to go to my lectures. Listen to me for a second. Father said there was someone he could consult regarding the possibility of divorce for you.”

Sarah grabbed Rebecca’s hands and squeezed them. “Do you really think this might be possible? That I’ll be free of Friedrick? That I can start my own life?”

“I don’t know. But I have to hope. For you.”

“Then I’ll allow myself to hope as well. Let’s walk to have a drink and pretend to be merry. We can’t keep hiding here all night. Our mothers will notice.”

Sarah pulled Rebecca away from the safety of the window alcove and to the crowd of people talking, dancing, and matchmaking. Rebecca stretched her neck to look for Edward but couldn’t see him. She spent the rest of the evening with Sarah, hiding from Mother and trying not to think of how much she missed Mark. Tomorrow, she resolved, she’d sneak out from one of her lectures, go to the student colony, and find out if anyone had heard from Mark. He couldn’t have just disappeared. Someone was not telling her the truth.

She’d get to the bottom of it.