Chapter 23

Bern, August, Tuesday—Present Time

Jacob’s wife, Ruth, seemed unfazed by my disjointed explanations of the coincidences of me finding a ring belonging to her relative. Emelie clapped her hands, but chose not to discuss the entire story right away with her mother, and I followed her lead. Jacob shook my hands and winked, while Ruth led me to the kitchen and gave me the job of chopping apples, next to Emelie who was peeling potatoes. David was sent to help Jacob set the table in the family’s small dining room.

A few minutes later, I looked through a small pass-through window and found David on the floor of the living room, with the family’s dog, a small spaniel. The dog was presently on top of David’s chest, licking his face vigorously, as David wiggled and laughed.

“David, Ula hasn’t been eating very well lately and seems to refuse most foods we give her. Can you check on her?” Ruth called out to him.

I looked at her in surprise.

“He loves animals,” Emelie explained.

“I can see that.” I giggled as David and Ula seemed to be playing tackle now.

“He also has this gift for knowing just what’s wrong with them. They trust him. Did he tell you he wished to become a veterinary doctor?” Emelie asked.

“A vet? I only know he’s an environmental lawyer.”

“He was accepted at a veterinary school, but it was far away from home. He didn’t want to leave his mother after his father had a stroke and died. He thought he should stay close and help her. Nathaniel was still quite young, so David chose to study law close to home,” Ruth explained.

“Who is Nathaniel?” I asked. “Oh.” I remembered. “His brother! The writer.” I realized I hadn’t asked David much about his life. I only bothered him with mine.

“Yes, his younger brother,” Emelie said, passing me a large bowl for the apples. “They’re nine years apart. David feels very much like a father to him. I think he’s done a nice job with him, too. Nate just finished college and has already written a travel book.”

“David and I only just met a few days ago. I don’t know much about him,” I said quietly.

“You will. He doesn’t hold secrets. He’s a good man. Kind, loving, and smart. You can’t do better than our David.” Ruth gave me a questioning look.

“We’re not really dating, you see,” I said. “We met by accident, and he’s just been kindly helping me. My life is a bit uncertain, at the moment.”

“You do realize he’s falling in love with you?” Emelie asked.

My fingers shook so hard I dropped the knife I was chopping apples with. What did she mean he was falling in love with me? How did she know? Is that what I’d been feeling? I picked up the knife and rinsed it in cold water, letting the coolness spread through my body, calming me. I looked back at Emelie, quietly arranging potatoes in a pot, pretending she hadn’t noticed my discomfort.

“I don’t know what to do about that yet,” I finally said. I didn’t. I really didn’t.

“It’s all right. You’ll figure it out. Life always finds a way to let us know.” Ruth smiled encouragingly.

“Ruth, the dog needs more protein and less fillers in her diet. More walking wouldn’t hurt, either,” David called out.

So he’d wanted to be a veterinarian. Not a lawyer. Sacrificed for his family. Who knew?

“Are you almost done with those apples?” Ruth asked. “We need to start layering them into the dough if we are to have the strudel for dessert tonight.”

I gasped as I saw how she had laid out large sheets of thin dough on the kitchen table and was brushing them with melted butter.

Apple strudel! That’s what I am making.

“Are you all right? Did you cut your finger?” Emelie asked, wiping her hands with a towel.

“I haven’t had apple strudel in a long time. I used to bake it with my grandmother. And my twin sister. But not since…my sister passed away.” I looked down.

“Oh, you poor dear.” Ruth gave me a hug. I struggled not to shrug away from the unexpected comfort. “David, why didn’t you tell me Maya didn’t want to have the strudel?”

“What are you talking about?” David materialized by the kitchen entrance.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” I said, stretching my lips into a smile.

Ruth pointed at me. “Maya doesn’t like to have strudel. It reminds her of her sister.”

“What sister?”

“He doesn’t know, Mami. They’ve only just met. Go back to playing with the dog, David. Dinner is almost done.”

“You both should’ve let me know what Maya likes to have for dinner.” Ruth shook her head. “Now look how sad she looks!”

I protested. “I’m fine. Really, I am.”

Ruth gave me an appraising look. “If your grandmother made the strudel, that means you are a Jew.”

“Yes, my grandmother was a Jew. I don’t really think of myself as a Jew. I wasn’t raised Jewish.”

“If your grandmother was, then your mother was—and that makes you a Jew.” Ruth stated definitively.

“Being a Jew comes from the mother,” Emelie explained.

“I probably should’ve known that,” I said.

“How did your sister die?” she asked.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Ella had a heart condition. Her heart muscle was too large. Her heart stopped when she rode her bike for too long in the heat.”

“How terrible… She was little then?”

“She was eleven.”

“Well, if you haven’t had the strudel since you were eleven, it’s time you had some. We can remember your sister today when we eat it,” Ruth said brightly.

“No, Mother, please. Let’s not do that,” Emilie begged, likely noticing my horrified look. “Maya, I don’t think we need any more help. How about I show you to Mami’s office? There are some old photo albums of the family there. Maybe you can find some pictures of David’s great-grandmother.”

“You have her pictures? I thought she moved to America.”

“We should have some from when she was a child, at least.” Emelie led me to a small room set up as the office and pointed to a bookshelf full of worn leather albums. “You’ll find plenty of pictures here. After dinner, Mother can tell you what she knows about Rebecca. While you look, I’ll go tell Mami the whole story about the ring.”

I chose an album from the shelf and was looking around for a good place to sit down when the feeling grabbed me. I touched the wall by the window in a gesture that seemed so familiar to me that my arm shook suddenly. I sat down on one of the armchairs and looked toward the chair opposite. I knew I’d sat in this exact spot before. My hand stretched toward a small table in front of me, and then I tasted tea in my mouth and challah bread. I swallowed and licked my lips. It had been years since I’d tasted challah. But this room wasn’t an office in the past. I closed my eyes and saw a women’s parlor with sofas and armchairs and small tables with teacups on them.

Who did you drink tea here with, Rebecca? Your sister? Mother? Grandmother?

“Did you find the photo albums?” David interrupted Rebecca’s memories.

“Yes, I did. Your cousin is very kind,” I said, back in the present.

“She’s the best. She’s telling Aunt right now about how you can…imagine things when you are in places Rebecca has been.” He sat down on the arm of my armchair. “So, any pictures of my great-grandmother in there?”

“Imagine” was one way of describing my odd sensations, I supposed. I looked through the album, finding no pictures of Rebecca. David pulled out more albums but still found none, although there were many pictures titled “Hannah Miller” but none of her sister.

“Hmmm,” I said. “No photographs of her besides the one in the other house. You probably have most of them in your home in New York.”

“Maybe the family here in Bern didn’t like her much?” David proposed.

“Maybe she didn’t like being photographed,” I said.

“Why don’t we have dinner first and then ask Ruth?”

I was actually starving. After a very satisfying dinner, which also involved David sneaking food to the dog, despite repeated reprimands, David, Ruth, and I returned to the office again.

“This is mainly my reading room,” Ruth explained. “But I was told it was a women’s parlor in the past. I feel a calming presence in here sometimes.” She crouched by the bookshelf and began to search through it. “I wonder why you couldn’t find the pictures. They should be here.”

A few minutes later, she turned, frustrated. “The album should be right here. I don’t understand. Emelie!”

“What is it, Mami?” Emelie came in, wiping her hands on a towel.

“I don’t see it—the album with a silver frame in the middle with that picture you always liked to look at? You remember, with the wedding?”

“Oh, that one. But Mami, there are so many albums in there now, how are we ever going to find anything?”

“Oh, no!” Ruth exclaimed. “You just reminded me that the last time we tried to find pictures of your aunt and uncle you said the same thing. That there were too many albums on the shelves. So I moved some of them to the lake house.”

“Oh, no!” Emelie looked at me. “I’m really so sorry. But maybe Mami can tell you about Rebecca.”

“Yes, I can tell you anything you want to learn about any of our family.” Ruth sat down in a chair next to me. “Rebecca is a little more difficult. She married Edward Fischer in 1918 and they moved to New York in 1919. But I do wish I could show you the pictures. I had a beautiful one of her wedding.”

“Why did she marry an American?” Emelie asked.

“She didn’t get married until she was older. It was probably difficult for her to marry. She was one of the first women in Switzerland to become a doctor. The Jewish community would’ve frowned on a woman working. I have pictures of her in front of a free women’s clinic she ran with a friend.”

“She continued to work as a gynecologist in New York: one of the first women physicians in New York City. She ran a free clinic there, too,” David added.

“Sounds like she was quite a pioneer for women in medicine,” I said.

“David, why don’t we invite Maya to Spiez with us for the weekend? That way she can see the pictures and learn more about our Rebecca.” Ruth asked.

“Oh, that would be lovely! Everyone could meet you, and Lake Thun is so beautiful at this time of year. It will be a great addition to your trip,” Emelie said.

“Thank you, but I’m afraid I must leave on Thursday. I have to return to Paris and catch a flight to New York. I need to…be back at my job on Friday morning,” I said, looking away. The truth was I didn’t feel I deserved to learn any more about Rebecca. She was strong and brave. She was a physician during a war and ran a free clinic for women and children. I couldn’t even finish my residency.

“Well, the lake house is in Spiez. It’s only about an hour away. We could be there and back by tomorrow evening,” David said.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you have other things to do. All I wanted was to find out who the owner of the ring was, and now I know.” I took off the ring. “Here, you should have it.” I handed the ring to David. “Give it to your mother.” My eyes felt watery.

“You’re not going to take it, are you?” Emelie raised her brows.

“Of course not.” David narrowed his eyes at me, examining my face. “I have nothing to do tomorrow. Completely free to take a ride to the lake. And I know my mother would love for you to have the ring—it was clearly meant for you.”

I wasn’t sure how to resist him. “Are you sure you have nothing else to do tomorrow?”

“You’re saving me from complete boredom.”

“You’re all being very kind to a total stranger.”

“Nonsense,” Ruth said. “You’re not a stranger. You’re David’s friend, so you’re part of the family. And you want to learn more about our Rebecca’s story. That’s an honor to us.” She walked back to the living room. Discussion over. Emelie followed.

“David,” I said, as something occurred to me, “if your great-grandmother married your great-grandfather Edward and moved to the States in 1919, we still don’t know who was this Mark she was in love with, here in Bern.”

“See? You have to come and look at those pictures in Spiez. I remember what Edward looked like, of course. I’ve seen many pictures of my great-grandparents back at home. I’ll for sure recognize a photograph of Rebecca with a strange man. That’s how we might find Mark.”

I laughed. “I already said ‘yes.’ I’d better go pack. Let me say goodnight to everyone.”

After he walked me to the front door a few minutes later, he held me by my shoulders. I lifted up on my tiptoes a bit, bringing my face closer to his. He looked gently at me and tucked a stray curl of hair behind my ear, then gave me a friendly hug, leaving me with a lingering sense of disappointment. I felt his body moving farther away as he opened the front door, and I missed the sensation of him being close and the warmth of his hand on mine from earlier that day.

Later that night, I paced around my room, twisting the ring on my finger, torn in thought and indecision. My scientific mind fought with my emotions. The opportunity was here now. But what was the point of all this, and what if I were to discover something really upsetting about Rebecca and Mark that I’d have to tell Ruth and everyone else? After all, Ruth thought Rebecca married Edward, but I knew she loved someone else.

Wouldn’t it be safer to just take the ring off, leave it for David, and return home? I could be on the first train to Paris tomorrow morning and would have some time to spend with Pauline, forgetting all that had happened here. Running away always seemed like such an easy option. I’d done it before, many times. My life had become so complicated already. What if more were at stake than my impulsive mind realized? And yet I wanted to learn Rebecca’s story more than anything in the world. A nagging, aching feeling in my chest reminded me of another reason I was clinging to someone else’s story right now.

Goddamn residency.

And then, of course, I couldn’t stop thinking of David. Memories of our near kisses and his touches on my body found their way firmly into my thoughts and made my blood heat. Was Emelie right? Was he really falling in love with me? Was it possible for someone to fall in love with me? Even after all the mistakes I’d made… I went to the bathroom and splashed water on my face.

I simply had no choice but to keep the ring on my finger for at least one more day, and go visit the lake house in Spiez with David.

Well, how much more complicated could my life possibly get?