Chapter 31

Bern, October 1915

Rebecca hurried to the hospital, as always. The sun had only just come up, but she had already spent two hours visiting the newly delivered mothers from her clinic. The babies were doing well despite the heat wave. She spent some time showing the mothers how to boil the water for the babies’ baths and clean them properly, but other than that, there was little to do. She prayed there wouldn’t be another attack of dysentery in the city and that more babies would survive this fall.

Now she was needed at the hospital. The British prisoners of war had arrived yesterday, and Father had been with them all night. Surprisingly, the hospital was quiet and she found Papi having tea with Dr. Hermann Matti.

“Rebecca! I’m glad you are here. Join us for some tea before you rush out to all the excitement.”

“Do I have time?”

“Of course you do,” Father said, pouring her a cup. “Hermann and his surgical staff have it quite under control now.”

“How many prisoners of war are here?” Rebecca sat down, taking a cup from him.

“Men, my dear. They are men. In unfortunate circumstances,” Dr. Matti corrected her. “There are thirty-two of them. Most are officers. All British.”

“Are their injuries severe?”

“Not very. We’ve had to carry out operations on a few to correct some butchery that was done at the front. There are some with infected wounds, as well, which may need operations fairly soon. Dr. Minchin, who I believe you know well”—Dr. Matti winked—“worked all night with his team to repair whatever was most urgent. Now we can all relax a little.”

“If we can concentrate on providing the healing effects of air and oxygen on their wounds, I’m convinced we can achieve fast healing and proceed to convalescence for many of them,” Father said.

“But keeping the wounds open would expose them to bacteria, in crowded wards,” Rebecca protested.

“Your father is correct. If we could supply adequate drainage to the wounds and a constant supply of oxygen, we would most likely prevent the development of bacteria.” Dr. Matti set his teacup down. “Why don’t we go visit the recovery ward and see about some drainage tubes? I’m sure our talented Doctor Minchin has already managed to think of those himself.”

“Of course.” Rebecca couldn’t wait to see Mark. And what could be better than having Father’s friend sing the praises of her beloved?

Mark wasn’t difficult to find. Sweat-covered, with dark circles under his eyes, he was moving from patient to patient in an overcrowded ward. She stood at the entrance a moment, admiring him. How assertive he was, giving orders and requesting instruments! How precise his movements were as a physician, how focused on his work! She wondered if she deserved him. She wasn’t sure she ever worked this tirelessly to help her patients. She often resented having no chance to have a proper meal and no rest for her aching feet. He only worked harder and was grateful for the work. When she went home, a housekeeper and her parents took care of her and made her hot food. He ate cold meals, which hardly could be counted as meals at all at times, consisting mainly of potatoes and cabbage. How did he find the strength to be so dedicated to medicine? And politics? And her? She nearly ran to him, forgetting that she couldn’t acknowledge her feelings in public.

“Rebecca! You’re here!” He restrained himself from giving her a kiss, noticing her father not far behind her. He bowed to Father and Dr. Matti. “We’re almost finished with the insertion of drainage tubes for the four soldiers who have infected wounds.”

“Allow me to examine. I’m most curious about your technique,” Father requested.

“Certainly. You see, Dr. Miller, the important aspect of the tubes is that they are made of glass, which has the advantage of not allowing the wound to close prematurely,” Mark explained.

“Marvelous.” Father examined the patient.

“And the gauze is sterilized in a saline solution before it’s applied to the wound, promoting drainage by capillary action.”

“Very impressive indeed.”

Dr. Matti nodded in approval and turned to Father. “Joseph, have you heard of the oxygen chamber that Steinmann has set up in his hospital to provide air to the wounds and decrease healing time?”

“No, is this an effective technique?”

“Absolutely. And we must talk to the Directors about it if we’re to have innovations at our hospital. Why should Lucerne have all the modern devices? All it requires is an air pump with a vessel and a motor. Air pressure is pumped through small tubes to each hospital bed to provide oxygen to the open wounds. It’s been most effective in preventing bacterial infections.”

Father sighed. “We must find the right time to speak to the Directors about it. I hope Theodor will join us. The more of us asking for funds, the better.”

“Dr. Miller, can you help me prepare more saline gauze, please?” Mark asked suddenly, turning to Rebecca instead of her father.

Father flinched, but Rebecca kept her face still. “Of course, Dr. Minchin. I’ll be happy to assist.”

Rebecca could’ve sworn Father kept his eyes on her back the entire time she walked to the supply room. Mark seemed unfazed or maybe just exhausted. The door shut with a loud creak, and she was about to scold him for asking her to be so daring. He came closer, his face changing suddenly, and she felt herself flush. His eyes were full of desire. He couldn’t be serious!

“I have to get back to work, Mark!”

“It won’t take long.” His hands were on her hips, stroking, pulling her toward him.

“My father is a few doors down,” she whispered and stepped back.

“Hermann is talking to him about me right at this moment, convincing him you couldn’t make a better match than me.”

He took off his apron and threw it down. He smelled of carbolic, fresh linen, blood…and Mark. How she loved his smell! His lips closed on hers, and she drank him in, arms around his neck, lost in the comfort of his body.

She pulled away, a horrifying thought suddenly occurring to her. “Does Matti know you are here with me, doing this?”

Mark walked to the door and locked it, then pushed her against the wall, and she felt his fingers sliding underneath her skirt. “Stop thinking,” he whispered in her ear.

Mark’s lips moved and then reached a sensitive spot on her neck. Rebecca’s skin was hot under his breath, and the heat moved quickly through her body. She tugged on her blouse, impatient for his lips to keep reaching other sensitive places.

“No, let me take it off,” he said, pushing her hand away and unbuttoning her blouse.

Rebecca’s legs shook as Mark picked her up and set her on the desk. She closed her eyes and gave in to the sensations, her breasts rising in anticipation of his lips coming close. There. She heard the sound of objects being thrown off. Her hips moved toward him. Mark was hard, ready, and she grabbed his waist and pulled. As he laid her on the table, she arched her back and bit her lip to prevent herself from yelling out.

He was right, it didn’t take long. He shuddered in minutes, and then, suddenly, she was so lost in her own wave of release that she almost didn’t hear.

“What did you say?” she whispered, her insides still trembling.

“Marry me, liebe.” He pulled away and buttoned his pants.

Rebecca sat up, still half-naked, eyes wide open, watching Mark’s whole appearance change suddenly, become softer somehow. Then, to her utmost surprise, he kneeled on one knee and took hold of her right hand. She struggled frantically to adjust her skirts.

“What are you doing?” She jumped off the table and tried to pick him up by his shoulders. His body wouldn’t move; it was rooted to the spot.

“I am asking you to marry me. Love me forever.” He opened his hand and she saw a ring.

“Get up at once. I already love you forever. Where did you get this?” It was a small silver ring with a moonstone in a setting of marcasite.

He got up and paced, his steps echoing in the small room. “What does it matter where I got the ring? Do you wish to marry me or not?”

“Why are you doing it now? We’ve been together for years!” She buttoned her blouse and straightened her hair.

“I’ve always wished to ask you to marry me. But now we’ve been making love, and I think it’s right.” He hesitated. “Your grandmother gave me the ring, so that I can ask you properly.”

“What? Did she force you to marry me?” Her blood began to boil.

“Don’t offend me, Rebecca! You know I love you with all of my heart. It was difficult for me to accept this charity. Your grandmother wished to know what my intentions were, and I told her I was planning to ask you. She then gave me the ring, so that we could be properly engaged.”

Rebecca hugged him. “I don’t mean to insult you. I’m just very surprised. The ring is beautiful. When did you possibly speak to Grossmami?”

“She came to see me a few weeks ago. She offered the ring to me as a gift. I told her I’d pay her back, as soon as I could. I had a jeweler write words in it,” he said.

“Can I see the inscription?”

He gave her the ring. She read the inscription and felt whatever was left solid of her heart melt into hot tears. “I am yours, you are mine,” she whispered. “Just like the poem you wrote in my textbook. It is true—we are bound together.”

“It’s bashert,” Mark said. “Does this mean you will think of marrying me?”

“I will marry you. Yes.” She lifted her head, rose on her toes, and kissed him.

He picked her up and spun her around the room until she squealed with joy. When her dizziness cleared, she asked for him to put the ring on her finger, and then watched it sparkle in the afternoon sun. How beautiful it was as it spread rainbows all throughout the room, making her think of all the magic in the world.

It was two evenings later that she finally found time to see her grandmother. She paced in the small parlor of the home, touching her ring frequently. She’d had to hide it in her pocket most of the time. She hoped another lecture on shaming the family with sexual relations before marriage wasn’t coming. She colored, thinking of the last one, at the lake. The only good news that had come from it was that Grandmother agreed to keep Rebecca’s secret from her parents. As long as Mark was never seen again anywhere near the lake house. Of course Rebecca continued to meet with Mark. They just had to meet farther away from the house—several miles away, to be precise, to ensure Grandmother couldn’t have walked that far. This didn’t make Mark any happier. She was more than pleased to return to the city and be able to see him more often and with less effort.

“Oh, good, you are here.” Grandmother came in, more slowly than usual, leaning on her cane.

“Grossmami, are you feeling well?” Rebecca helped her to a chair.

“Yes, quite well.” Grandmother touched her ring. “I see you have accepted.”

“Your plan worked.” Rebecca smiled.

Grandmother pursed her lips. “I couldn’t allow you to ruin your life. Or his, for that matter. That man loves you dearly. Shall I ring for some tea?”

“No, thank you. I wasn’t ruining our lives. It’s only that Mother and Father won’t accept him. I’ve tried. Mother refuses to hear, and Father has nearly thrown him out of the house. They work together at the hospital, and Father is starting to admire his work, but still he seems not good enough for them.”

“No suitor will ever be good enough. You are a precious jewel to them, you must understand.”

“Mark was good enough for you,” Rebecca said, touching Grandmother’s hand. “Please help me find a way.”

“Of course I’ll help you. I’m already helping you, you silly child. This has to be done right.” Grandmother sighed and leaned back in her chair.

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know just yet, but I always find a way. I told you, I do believe in love. But not foolish love. Only love that deserves a chance.”

“And does our love deserve a chance, then?” Rebecca asked.

“I spent some time with your doctor a few weeks ago. He is not like us. There is a fire in him I don’t understand. He’ll never have a quiet, respectable life like your father. You must understand this as well.”

“I know. I fear it sometimes. But I love him desperately.”

“And he does love you. I believe he deserves you and you deserve him. But life with him will not be easy.” Grandmother stretched out her arms, and Rebecca accepted the hug gladly.

“I’ve loved him for too long; there’s no going back. It’s already been difficult. But I can’t live without him. He owns my soul,” Rebecca whispered.

“And you clearly own his. This is why I gave him the ring. He can’t possibly afford one himself. He’ll pay me back by protecting you from harm.”

“Thank you, dear Grossmami.” Rebecca wiped tears from her cheeks. “I don’t know if I can ever fully express my gratitude to you. Your blessing means so much to me.”

“Pfft,” Grandmother said. “Save your gratitude for when you can marry him in front of your whole family, with my son’s full blessing. It will not be an easy task to change Joseph’s mind.”

“Am I forgiven, then? For what happened in Spiez?” Rebecca asked.

“You’re always forgiven.” Grandmother kissed her. “Now run along. This conversation has exhausted me. I’ll have some tea and think of a way to talk to Joseph.”

Rebecca nearly ran home, her soul singing and her heart lighter. It was all going to be settled. She and Mark would finally be together. It would take some time, but she could wait a while longer. She had waited forever already. And there had been no further talk from Mark about Lenin and the revolution. Mark seemed so focused on his surgical work lately. He wouldn’t have proposed if he wasn’t planning to give up his activities on behalf of the revolution. He would never put her in danger. Maybe all the political work had been forgotten, and Mark would finally settle on being here in Bern, with her. Yes, that was it!