Chapter 35

Bern, September, 1916

Rebecca wiped the sweat off her forehead and stood up straighter. Her back ached from the strain of bending over so many patients in one day. It had been an exhausting summer in Spiez, working with the Red Cross mission. More than two thousand soldiers had arrived in the last three months and needed the help of the locals for meals, clothes, and exercises. She, Mark, and other physicians from nearby towns had worked tirelessly to assess the soldiers for medical needs. Then, as the soldiers’ families arrived, there were days and nights spent with women in labor, infants needing care, and children needing to be vaccinated. She had only been able to check on her patients in Bern once, and all hopes of a summer rest had long been forgotten.

At least there was little time left to worry about what Mark was doing. She saw him often enough, and he was entirely too exhausted to do any work for the revolution. He was dedicated to medicine these days, and there was tremendous need for his skills. She knew she had the gift to heal bumps, bruises, and minor illnesses, but he could mend bones better than any surgeon in Switzerland and take out a tumor with no risk of infection.

The best news had been that she had finally convinced Mother to accept Mark as her future son-in-law. Of course, Grandmother and Father helped her with this impossible task as well. Either way, Mark was now welcomed in their home occasionally for dinner. She could see that he was slowly winning Mother’s opinion, and even Hannah and Ebner were pleasant to him at times.

“Liebe, do you have a moment?” Mark’s head popped through the door behind her.

“Of course, darling. What is it?”

He led her to a chair and gave her a kiss before sitting down next to her. “I’m afraid I have some rather sad news for you.”

“What is it?”

“I just received word from Vlad. He is leaving Bern to travel back to Russia. And he is taking Lara with him, of course.”

“But why? What’s happening that they have to leave so suddenly? She hasn’t said anything to me!” Rebecca was sure this was a mistake.

“He’s made the poor decision to join the Menshevik Party in Russia. They believe they’re ready to start the revolution now.”

“So Vlad and Lara are going to be part of the revolution? Are they in terrible danger? Will they be imprisoned?” Rebecca gripped Mark’s hands, hoping this wasn’t true.

“They will be captured and sent to Siberia if they fail. I don’t know what will happen.”

“Who are these Men-she-viks?”

“They disagree with Lenin and the Bolsheviks who want to organize the working class. They think the revolution should be done by the educated class, by the middle class. They are frightened of the power of the working class. They have officially split from the Bolshevik Party now and are planning to take down the Tsar any minute.” Mark’s eyes were dark and sad.

Rebecca was at a loss for words, her heart beating painfully with fear for her friend. Mark kissed her hand, and she leaned against his shoulder, the two of them sharing their sadness.

“Wait,” she said. “You are not going anywhere, right? You are not any part of this plan, right?”

“No, liebe, I’m not. I have to wait for my orders from Lenin. The Bolsheviks will need to see what happens with this Menshevik Revolution before making their attempt. We want a proletariat revolution. We don’t believe the educated elites would ever work to accomplish the democratic goals of the revolution.”

“But you can’t ignore the wisdom of the educated people. You must have everyone working together: the educated and the working class.”

“Lenin says the Menshevik Revolution would result in the dictatorship of the bourgeoisie and not the true power of the people.”

“But the educated class are you and me. My father. Lara. Vlad. Sarah. How can a new world be built without people like us? What do you think? Don’t answer as Lenin, but tell me what’s in your mind.”

“I don’t know enough to answer. I just want to do the best for my family, and I know that the Tsar is not the best. If the Tsar is gone, I’ll be able to keep my family safe, maybe even bring them to live in Odessa, in some luxury. And maybe you and I can even live there.”

“I don’t know if I can abandon all my work here. My patients need me.”

“There are many more families needing your help in Ukraine. You don’t know what it’s like there. There’s terrible poverty and famine in most villages. There is so much need for physicians. We can live in the large city of Odessa and prosper, but give free services to the poor in the villages.”

“I’m worried about how unstable things will be politically for a while in your country if you do have the revolution.”

“There is a war going on all around us in Europe right now.” He laughed. “I am afraid the entire world is unstable. The Bolsheviks are just hoping all this chaos will result in better lives for the people who are suffering the most.”

Rebecca sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe you are right.”

He kissed her and got up. “I’ll try to catch a train to see if I can say goodbye to Vlad and Lara. They’ve been my best friends for years. They’ve been my family.”

“I have to go with you. I can’t imagine not saying goodbye to Lara. I’ll never forgive myself. I just have to ask my parents for permission. Come pick me up at the house in two hours.”

****

Two weeks after Lara and Vlad left, Rebecca returned to the city. There were just as many soldiers to treat at the hospital, and she was the only doctor left at her women’s clinic now. She couldn’t neglect her patients forever. Losing her friend was difficult to bear, and she needed to spend time with Sarah. Although Edward’s sister proved to be a lovely companion in Spiez, she was somewhat too young and frivolous at times.

“We ought to consider hurrying up with Rebecca’s wedding, my dear,” Father said at dinner one night.

“It’s not something we can simply hurry up, Joseph.” Mother stopped her fork in midair. “The preparations required are extensive. She’ll have a winter wedding, as planned.”

“I hear the Russian students are leaving the community urgently.”

“Papi, that’s not true,” Rebecca said. “Only a few have left. They think they are ready to overturn the Tsar.”

“Well, in a few days almost all will leave, if they haven’t started leaving today.”

“Oh, what a relief,” Mother said. “They’ve been a major disturbance here for years. They should never have been allowed to stay.”

“How could you say this, Mother? You know I’m marrying one of them!”

“Well, your fiancé is an exceptional man. But most of them have been mainly a nuisance to the city. Now there will finally be more opportunity for the Bernese to attend the university.”

Rebecca ignored her, turning to her father. “How do you know they’re leaving?”

“Rabbi Hirsch was told that all the revolutionaries have been ordered to leave by their various political parties. The revolution they are planning is very near. Whoever hasn’t left will likely be asked to leave by the Swiss authorities. Their temporary visas are expiring and will not be renewed.”

“Do you think they’ll really rise against the Tsar and his family, Joseph?”

“They appear to be quite organized, my dear. I don’t know if they have the numbers or a strong enough leader. Who knows? I just think we should make an effort to keep Rebecca’s surgeon here with us, so that he doesn’t get swept up by the romantic notions of the uprising.”

“I’m glad they are leaving. Between the threat of war, the prisoners arriving here every day, and the constant disturbance of these revolutionaries, we’ve had little peace in Switzerland,” Mother said.

“There is something else you must know, Rebecca,” Father said, setting his fork down and sighing. “Rabbi Hirsh told me there have been some rather tragic stories from the Jewish villages in Ukraine and Poland, in the Pale of Settlement.”

“What has he heard?”

Father took her by the arm. “Come to my office for a moment. It’s best your mother doesn’t hear such stories.”

He closed the door behind him quietly, as she sat in a chair, trembling with worry.

“It seems as if hardly any Jews are going to be able to survive this awful wartime in the Pale. The Rabbi has received many letters and has heard stories from the soldiers about entire towns being burned to the ground. There’s cholera raging in many of the villages, and no medicine or help has been provided. The Germans burn any village where cholera is suspected, and so do the Russians. The Cossacks pillage the homes, hang the adults, and spear the children on their swords. It’s not clear which army is the worst, as all seem to hate the Jews equally. Whoever survives the pogroms and the murders is likely to die of starvation or cholera.”

“These must be rumors! Surely soldiers are not capable of such horrors.” Rebecca pressed her palm against her mouth, refusing to believe.

“Unfortunately, this appears to be true. You’d be surprised what angry men are capable of during war.” He kissed her head. “And Jews are always targets. Especially in wartime. The reason I’m telling you is because you must tell Mark. His family might have perished already. If not, maybe there’s something he can do to save them still.”

“I’ll go see him right away, Papi.”

Rebecca grabbed her hat and ran out the door, forgetting to ask Mother’s permission. The rain beat sharply on her face, but she hardly noticed as she raced through the dark wet streets, worry filling her mind and giving her legs strength.

She reached the door of Mark’s boarding house, bending over and gasping for breath. She listened for the usual sounds of the house, in vain. No one was playing piano today, there was no laughter coming down the stairs, and no Yiddish prayers. Father was right—students had been leaving!

Her breath came back, and she yelled “Mark!”, suddenly terribly afraid that he was gone as well. Her legs shook, refusing to carry her upstairs to find him gone.

God, please let him be there, don’t let him leave!

“Mark!” No answer.

She collapsed at the bottom of the stairs, her skirt in a wet puddle, shivering from the cold and sadness, too much in shock to cry. How could he abandon her? How could he abandon their love?

She didn’t hear him come out, but she felt the warmth of him.

“You are here,” he said, sitting down next to her, gathering her in his arms.

“Father said that all your friends were…leaving or…being sent home.” She choked on the words as she spoke.

“He is right. The war is almost over, and the Tsar will fall any minute. Everyone’s preparing. People want to be home with their families, to participate in what’s to come, in whatever way they can.”

“You are not leaving! Please tell me you’re not!”

He looked away, then turned back, took her hands, and kissed them. “My love, I need to go on a short trip home to deliver a manuscript for Lenin and see my family. I’ll be back in a month, long before our wedding.”

She pulled her hands away in agitation and jumped up, the rain beating hard on her face again. “So you are leaving! How does a surgeon become involved in such a task? Why can’t this man deliver his own manuscript?”

“He would be arrested or likely killed. You know that. But I’m…a nobody. This manuscript has to get to Russia to get published, so that people hear the truth.”

“You are not a nobody!” She hugged him and held him. If only she could stop him. “But the war is going on. It’s too dangerous for you to travel—you’ll be killed on the way.”

“It’s not dangerous anymore. There’re safe routes now. The trains are running, and people travel all the time. And I won’t be alone. I’ll travel to Zurich first to pick up the manuscript, and two other people will join me.”

“I don’t understand. I’m trying very hard, I really am. You have everything here. You have worked so hard. You have the admiration of all your colleagues. You have my love.” She struggled to put words together, they swirled in her mind at a dizzying speed.

She had to convince him. She had to make him stay.

She pulled back and watched Mark’s face for any sign that he understood and agreed with what she was saying.

He held her face in his hands. “My love, my darling, I do have everything here. I have you. I have the respect of your family now. And I love medicine. I don’t know how to explain, but can you try to understand? I’m not a whole man if I don’t help with what’s happening in my country.”

He got up and paced, oblivious to the rain soaking his hair and glasses. Rebecca felt her blood was draining from her body. She knew she was losing him.

Please, God, she prayed silently, don’t let him go! Oh, please, God, don’t take him away from me.

Then she remembered. “Mark! Rabbi Hirsh said there was great danger in the Pale of Settlement. The German and Russian armies have been killing the Jews at will, burning and pillaging and starving people. There’s also cholera. I was coming here tonight to tell you about that and to ask you to get your family somewhere safer. Maybe here. Instead you are going there!”

“I know, liebe. My mother has written to me. They are worried for their lives every day. I have to bring them to Odessa, to safety. It’s one of the reasons I’m going now. I’m glad you understand.”

“Isn’t there anything you can do to help that won’t take you away from me?” she cried.

“I could maybe say ‘no’ to Lenin. But dearest, I haven’t seen my family in years, and now they can be killed or die of cholera any day. My father is ill. How can I live here every day in my success and prosperity if Father lies on his deathbed grieving over my cold heart while my mother and sisters are starving?” Mark was crying into his hands now, sitting next to her.

Rebecca kneeled down by him and held his head in her hands, kissing his salty tears, feeling his pain, and knowing she had no choice. “What am I going to do? How will I live without you, my heart?” She heard herself sob.

She must let him go. She must bear it. She had no choice.

Mark picked her up and set her on his lap. He stroked her back lightly. “I will only be gone for a month. This is how long I can be gone without jeopardizing my medical practice, yet still make an impact for the revolution and see my family. You’ll not even notice me gone.”

“I won’t be able to breathe without you. But if this were happening to my family, I would go, too, or live with the guilt forever,” she whispered.

He kissed her tears. “Thank you. I knew you’d forgive me for leaving you.”

“There’s nothing to forgive. You must go. It’s your duty. They’ve done so much for you. I understand what it’s like when your family needs you or your community. I haven’t stopped caring for my father or the people of this city for more than a day. I wouldn’t stop if you asked me.”

“I love you for understanding.” Mark looked at her, eyes smiling now.

Grief gripped her chest tightly. What if she were making a mistake? Yet, what else could be the right choice?

“Hold me,” she whispered and cried some more into his chest.

She was making a mistake. She was sure of it.

He won’t be back, her mind whispered as her heart shattered.