12

‘Bless you darling, bless you,’ I keep saying, because Sunshine is here and has brought me books. ‘Bless you!’ Then seeing that she hasn’t sat down, I offer her the choice between commode and grubby looking armchair. Knowing how fussy my friend can be, I smile as she chooses instead to perch on the edge of the bed next to me. She’ll be worried about touching anything too dirty but she may also be afraid of hurting my hip so I demonstrate how strong I am by shifting from left to right, proving that she needn’t be so tentative around my body. Then I tell her that had she come earlier she would have met the man responsible for my speedy recovery. I describe my last session with the physical therapist, getting her to picture the lengths to which he goes in order to be discreet while holding my hips in alignment. I recount how politely he instructs me to ‘clench my glutes’, while I’m busy worrying over how I might prevent myself from inadvertently passing gas when undertaking such physical exertions. I may be old, but farting and burping in public is not something I intend to succumb to. If I can help it. Sunshine laughs and I joke that the poor man need not worry about an old woman like me. It’s not as if I’m going to mistake his touch for one of flirtation, or even want to flirt with him in the first place. But the latter isn’t true. I am flirting when I joke about my creaky knees and stiff joints, all the while hoping he’ll compliment me on what good shape I’m in. And whether or not he’s aware that I’d like him to congratulate me on my fitness (but who am I kidding, of course he knows), I thrive on his praise, diligently doing all my assigned exercises and more.

‘Had I met the man twenty years ago,’ I tell Sunshine, ‘he would’ve been smitten. One glance at my tight glutes and my curvy hips, and he wouldn’t have been able to resist. He would’ve had my name tattooed right across his chest.’

‘And you? Where would you have tattooed his?’ Sunshine smiles.

‘Oh, well, if anywhere, under my thumbs. Symbolically,’ I chuckle. ‘But speaking of tattoos, he’s actually offered to introduce me to his tattoo artist.’

‘You want a tattoo?’

‘I do.’

Sunshine looks shocked. ‘You mean that while I’ve been trying to convince Zach that tattoos aren’t cool, you, his honorary grandmother, are about to get one?’

‘But you’re assuming I don’t have one already?’

‘Do you?’

‘No,’ I laugh. ‘But you know, when I was young, everyone had tattoos. And by that I mean the facial markings that told you where someone came from. So not exactly tattoos in the modern sense, although we did have some of those too. Sometimes women had these green tattoos written on the inside of their arms. They were all just forms of bodily adornment. But by the time I was born, people started thinking that both the facial markings and the love tattoos, as I like to call them, were primitive. I wanted a tattoo, but wasn’t allowed one. And now tattoos are everywhere, everyone’s writing on the body.’

‘And you still want one? On your face?’

‘Oh no, not on my face, darling. Too many wrinkles there and besides, you need some elasticity for a good tattoo. But there are many other sweet spots on this body of mine.’

‘Like?’

‘Like you’ll have to wait and see,’ I smile. ‘Now, tell me, how are you, and my tattoo-free boys?’

I worry about Sunshine sometimes, in her family of men and boys. I like Ashok but I fear that Sunshine is too easily swayed by what he thinks and too eager to please him. I see some of my younger self in Sunshine and try to encourage her to have more of her own mind. But I also try not to be too overbearing.

When Morayo asks me how I am, I tell her that I’m fine. ‘Although Ashok is still trying to persuade me to go back to school.’ I pause, hoping that Morayo will reassure me by saying that Ashok is wrong and that I shouldn’t feel pressured into going to grad school. But she doesn’t comment so I reluctantly return to talking about the boys. I tell her how Avi is coming along with his New Year’s ‘revolutions’, which makes her laugh. Then I talk about Zach, how he’s started rowing which means that three early mornings a week I drive him to Marin and back. I pull out my phone to share some recent photographs. Morayo, who must have also noticed me checking the time, tells me that I mustn’t feel obliged to stay. Feeling guilty, I insist that I’m not in a rush.

‘I know, darling,’ she says. ‘I’m just looking for an excuse to start reading all these lovely books you’ve brought for me.’ She winks then peers into the bag. ‘Auster and Angelou, that’s lovely, and these?’ she asks, looking quizzically at the others. ‘What are these? They look like Mills & Boon.’ She points to the boxed set.

‘You tell me,’ I smile, ‘I found them by your bed.’ I think that Morayo is only feigning surprise, but no, it seems that she really doesn’t recognize them.

‘Ahh,’ she says, after some moments. ‘These must have come from the house cleaner. Did you ever meet Tina? Bless her. She knew I liked books so she was always bringing me more, only not the sort that I liked to read. And then, of course, I could never get rid of them because she would’ve noticed. But now that you’ve brought them, perhaps I should read them. What do you reckon?’

‘You have a house cleaner?’

‘Oh, I used to, darling, long time ago. And I know. I know my place is a bit of a mess right now, but being here has given me time to think. It’s funny, you know, as you get older, you begin to see yourself becoming more like your parents. After my father retired I remember him staying at home, not wanting to do much but listen to his radio. He didn’t want to get rid of anything and so the house just got more and more cluttered. So you’re right, my house could probably use a good sort out and even a cleaner again, but I’ll get to it, I promise.’

‘Well, as a matter of fact, I’ve done some of that for you already.’

‘Oh Sunshine! You shouldn’t have!’

‘No, that’s okay. It’s just that there were a lot of things in the apartment that needed attention. Like there was a letter from the DMV, do you remember? A bunch of bills and also some bank transactions. Ashok and I got a little bit worried by one of them.’

‘Yes,’ Morayo interrupts. ‘I know what you must have seen. The payments to a certain charity which turned out to be an scam?’

I nod, feeling relieved that at least she’s aware of it.

‘It was a silly mistake Sunshine, and although I’m embarrassed, I’m glad you now know. I’m actually relieved that you know. I should’ve been more careful, but I’m dealing with it now, darling. I’ve talked to the bank and it won’t happen again.’

‘Well there’s certainly no need to be embarrassed; God knows how many embarrassing things I’ve shared with you over the years. But you should have told us, we could have helped. Ashok deals with that sort of thing all the time.’

‘I know, Sunshine. It’s just that I’m usually so careful, but that particular email just got me. It didn’t have any of the usual hallmarks of scam mail – no funny spelling errors or formal salutations, so it never crossed my mind that this might be another prank. And you know how upset I’ve been by everything happening in Nigeria recently. So when that email came, I just believed it was genuine. I thought the money would go to the victims. But then, of course, when I realized my mistake, well I didn’t want to bother you. You have enough on your plate as it is. I’ll be much more vigilant from now on, I promise.’

‘But I’m always here for you, Morayo, and so is Ashok.’

‘I know, darling, and I’m grateful, I am.’

‘So look,’ I say, seizing my chance. ‘You know how you just mentioned that your apartment needs cleaning? Which means it’s not just me being OCD, right? So while you were in hospital I got a friend to help me sort through some of your stuff, the stuff you don’t need.’

‘Stuff?’

‘Well mostly, like old papers. Except unfortunately, there was a small misunderstanding and some of your books, but just a few, got thrown out.’

‘My books!’ Morayo exclaims.

‘Just some. And only those that were falling apart. You had mice in your apartment, Morayo, and they were eating your papers and even some of your books.’ I hesitate, but seeing her alarm I keep talking. ‘I asked Francisco to get rid of the old papers because they were in a really bad state. Remember how we’d sorted through them last year? But then, unfortunately –’

‘You got rid of things without me being there!’ she cries, her face darkening with disbelief. ‘I didn’t want to, Morayo, but it was unhygienic and I just thought it would be helpful.’

‘Helpful?’ she shouts. ‘But why couldn’t you wait? How could you possibly know what’s important to me and what’s not? That’s my life, Sunshine! My books!’

‘I’m sorry, Morayo, I’m sorry. I was trying to help. You’ve just got so many books. You’ve even got more than one copy of some of them.’

‘Well of course I do! Just like you have dozens of pairs of yoga pants and lipsticks and shoes, don’t you? How would you feel if someone went through all your “stuff” and got rid of what they thought were just duplicates or extras? Just because you would never buy more than one fucking book doesn’t mean others wouldn’t. Doesn’t mean there isn’t a very good reason why I do!’

‘That’s not what I meant,’ I stammer, thrown by her swearing. ‘I said I’m sorry. And when it happened I did my best to get it all back. I don’t know what else to say.’

‘But what’s ”sorry” going to do? How’s that supposed to help? It was just reckless of you. Stupid and thoughtless.’

‘Thoughtless?’ I cry, snatching my bag and car keys. ‘Yes, okay, I’m stupid and thoughtless and you’d probably be much better off with a conservator.’