“SO HOW is your week going?” Marti asked after he’d answered the phone Wednesday evening.
“Better than I expected, I guess.” The microwave dinged behind him, but he left his dinner where it was. He really wasn’t hungry anyway. “Work is going pretty well.” Once he and Lee were able to start building a relationship, Lee really responded and had taken the first real steps to learning about and accepting his blindness.
“How was dinner on Sunday? You haven’t called to tell me about it. Does that mean it ended exceptionally well?”
“No. It means it was a total disaster.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Everything was fine to begin with. His dad and Margaret are very nice, and Margaret’s son and her daughter-in-law are expecting a baby. It should have been a lot of fun. But Margaret invited her neighbor Peter and his boyfriend because she was hoping it would give us someone to talk with. But the boyfriend was Collin.”
Marti gasped. “No way.”
“Yeah. He met Peter at Mom and Dad’s country club, and I bet he’s using Peter the same way he tried to use me.”
“Did you say something to Trevor?”
“It gets worse. I heard them come in, and when I stood, the chair shifted and I ended up on the floor on my ass. For the rest of the night, Trevor held on to me like I was some kind of kid and going to fall again at any second. Then at dinner, Margaret made a roast, and he cut it up for me so I wouldn’t make a mess. I was so careful while eating, and then I sat at the table afterward with everyone, talking. Trevor left and I don’t know why. But I was alone with Collin talking about his boyfriend’s curated exhibit at the museum. Then after dessert, Trevor couldn’t get out of there fast enough and he took me home.” James sighed. He’d had plenty of time to think all this over. “I liked him, Marti, and I thought he liked me. But I heard whispers, probably from Collin, about me being useless and clumsy, and Trevor didn’t say anything. He just let it go on, and once he could leave, he got out of there as fast as he could.”
Maybe Collin had been right and he was completely useless and a burden to anyone he was with.
“I’m so sorry things turned out that way for you. I know you liked him and thought he could be someone special.”
“Yeah, well, my judgment regarding men has never been very good. I think I’ll concentrate on the people I can help—at least they need me—and say to hell with the rest.” James should have known things would come to this. It was the way things had happened before, so it was destined to repeat. “I mean, who in their right mind—”
“Hold on there, buster,” Marti cut in. “Don’t give me that ‘I’m blind so I’m not good enough for someone’ crap. You’ve used that as an excuse ever since Collin, the asswipe from hell, dumped you and ripped your heart out. I know that jerkoff hurt you, but you can’t let him or Trevor or anyone let you think that you aren’t good enough to find someone.”
“Marti…. You know Collin didn’t just dump me. It was so much worse than that.”
“Yeah, I know. But still. All the more reason not to believe anything that lying sack of crap ever told you. He wasn’t worth listening to then, and you shouldn’t put any weight to what he thought.” Marti paused for a second. “Besides, you’re sounding a little whiny.”
“Oh geez.” James actually felt a chuckle beginning to bubble up. “Horror of horrors.”
“Exactly. So I can send you some cheese to go with it or you can simply move on.”
“Yeah, like there are so many places us blind guys can go to meet people.” Snide sometimes worked for him.
“Smartass. Just relax and let it happen. You’re a great guy with a special personality and a huge heart, so don’t sell yourself short.”
“Okay.” It was easier for James to agree than to argue with her. Marti could give mules lessons in stubbornness when she was up for it. “I need to get my dinner out of the microwave, and then I have a whole evening planned.”
“Let me guess—you’re going to listen to a book and then go to bed.” Marti made it sound like he was the most boring person on the planet.
“Yes. Stories are important,” James told her. “There are lots of places I can’t go, but a book doesn’t care if I’m blind. I still get to go there. I’ll talk to you soon.” James ended the call and got his pasta out of the microwave, nearly dropping it when he burned his fingers. He got a plate and put the dish on it, then took it to the dining room at his place at the end of the table.
He had brought in a glass of water before Marti called, so he sat down carefully and ate slowly, checking for spills. Mrs. Ledbetter had been in, and thankfully she’d be in tomorrow as well to check on things and do the shopping for him.
James was finishing his dinner when he heard footsteps on his front porch. He stilled and listened. He’d had problems with people deciding that because he was blind, his home would be an easy mark. James got up and found the light switch, flipped it, and then found the others. The house was probably lit up like crazy, but he hoped whoever was there went away. James knew the doors were locked and all, but he deserved to feel safe in his own house.
He picked up his phone and told it to call Mrs. Ledbetter.
“Hello, sweetheart,” she said cheerfully.
“I heard movement outside the house. Can you look out your window and see if anyone is there?” He was starting to be concerned and knew his eagle-eyed neighbor would know.
“I don’t see anyone. Turn on the front lights for me.”
James went to the front of the house and flipped the switch.
“No one is there, but it looks like there’s something on your lawn. Like a sign or some trash. Give me a minute.”
He held the phone as she went outside.
“It’s trash day and a little windy. Someone’s garbage blew around.” She continued moving. “It’s okay. I got it.”
“Thank you for checking,” he said, feeling better.
“It looks like some of the trash may have blown across your porch.”
The wind behind the call vanished and James figured she was back in her house. “Thank you for looking out there for me.”
“Any time, sweetheart. You know that. I’m going to the store tomorrow. Is there anything special you want me to get for you?” She always asked, but anything unusual meant he had to cook it, and that meant extra deliberations and the chance he’d make a huge mess while trying to do it, so he rarely ventured out of his food comfort zones.
“Not that I can think of. Thanks for everything.” He hung up and cleared his dishes, carrying them to the kitchen, where he washed them and left them in the drainer to dry. Once that was done, he put on his book, listening through his phone, but he was growing restless, and even with the air-conditioning, the house grew stale. He needed fresh air and figured he could sit on his small front porch.
James was always careful, but he knew where his chair was, so he opened the front door, stepped outside, and felt his way over. He made it and sat down, listening as the evening breeze rustled the leaves of the trees that lined the street. He loved it out here.
A family walked down the street, the kids laughing, parents talking. “He didn’t wave, Mommy,” one of the kids said, and James waved at that moment, hopefully receiving one in return. Cars passed down the street, followed by a motorcycle. James’s heart beat a little faster at the sound, but he knew instantly it wasn’t Trevor’s. The engine didn’t sound the same, the rumble not quite deep and throaty enough. He rested his head on the back of the chair, letting the warm breeze pass over him. It was so nice to be out, though it would be even nicer if he had someone to share it with.
James nodded off and woke with a start, remembering where he was. The neighborhood had grown quiet, with only the breeze and the hum of cars on Kinnickinnic Avenue. James stood and stepped toward the front door, which was only four steps away. The first two were fine, but with the third step, his foot flew out from under him and he went down. James had learned not to try to catch himself because that would only lead to worse injury. Plus he wasn’t sure how close he was to the edge of the porch.
He came to a stop and pain bloomed in his ankle. James was pretty sure he’d sprained it. He sat up, afraid to stand because he wasn’t sure exactly where he was. He felt his leg to see if he was bleeding and was grateful he didn’t feel any wetness. James cast his arms around, locating a piece of cardboard. He tossed it aside and slowly tried to stand. Pain seared through his ankle and he sat back down, trying not to move his leg. He reached into his pocket, grateful he had his phone and it didn’t seem broken.
“Call Marti,” he instructed and waited for the call to go through. It went to voice mail. He tried Lester and got the same response. “Call Mrs. Ledbetter….” This time her house phone rang and rang without an answer. He was pretty screwed.
James managed to roll onto his stomach and slowly crawled his way to the door. He found it and managed to get it open. Once he was inside, he tried to make it to a chair, but lay on the living room floor and did his best not to move. He needed help and was about to dial emergency when he heard his phone connect. The dang thing butt-dialed every now and then. It drove James crazy, and now he wasn’t sure who it had dialed and was afraid to hang up in case someone answered.
“James?”
“Trevor?” James gritted.
“What happened? Where are you?” Trevor rapidly fired off questions. “I can hear that something is wrong.”
“I fell on my porch and hurt my ankle. I tried other people and no one is home.”
“How bad is it?”
“Bad. I don’t know if I broke it, but I can’t walk on it at all. Had to crawl back into the house.” The pain, intense and getting worse, made him tear up.
“Stay where you are. I’m on my way. Don’t move. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Trevor was already walking and James heard doors close. “Stay on the phone if you like. It will transfer over to my car as soon as I start the engine.”
A door closed loudly, and James breathed through the pain as he waited.
“I’m in the car.” The engine started and there was a blip a few seconds later.
“Can you hear me?” James asked.
“Yes. I’m pulling out of my garage. It’s going to take me about fifteen minutes to get there if traffic isn’t too bad, but I’m on my way. Just relax as best you can.”
“Okay.” James did his best to get comfortable, lying on his wood floor. Moving hurt, but not moving was uncomfortable. His ankle throbbed with each beat of his racing heart. James did his best to calm himself. Help was on the way. “Trevor?” The line must have dropped, which was okay. He could sit and wait a little longer.
Time seemed to slow to a crawl, but then footsteps sounded outside and the door opened. “James.”
“Trevor, I’m over here.”
The footsteps drew close until Trevor stopped beside him. “What happened?”
“The wind blew stuff up onto my porch and I didn’t know it was there and slipped on it.” He felt like such an idiot. “I twisted my ankle really bad. I don’t know if it’s broken, but it hurts like hell.” He winced as Trevor lifted his pant leg a little.
“At least there’s no blood, but your ankle is swelling badly.” Trevor touched his cheek gently. “You’re going to be okay. I’m going to lift you and get you into my car so I can take you to the emergency room, okay? You need to have this looked at.” He put one arm under James’s back and the other under his knees and lifted him off the floor.
“I’m not completely helpless.”
“Sweetheart, your ankle is pretty badly injured and I don’t want anything else to happen to you.” Trevor held him close to his chest, and James wrapped his arms around Trevor, comforted by Trevor’s familiar scent.
“I just don’t want you to think I’m useless or something.” James closed his eyes, and Trevor maneuvered him out of the house and down the walk.
“Why would I think that? You’re hurt, and I want to make it stop.”
James grumbled under his breath, figuring now was not the time to get into things like that. Trevor must have left the passenger door open because he got James right into the seat, and James got as comfortable as was possible, gently resting his injured foot on the floor. Trevor closed his door, went around, and got in the other seat.
“Is the house locked?”
“Yes, and I left one light on inside.” Trevor closed the car door and started the engine, then pulled away from the curb.
“Thank you.” James leaned back in the seat, letting Trevor’s scent, which filled the car, encircle him. He shook his head because thoughts like that weren’t good. “I’m sorry for… well… what happened at your parents.” James figured he may as well get that said so things wouldn’t be awkward.
“Why are you apologizing? I’m sorry Margaret invited that jerk Collin and made you nervous. We were having such a good time before they arrived. Margaret sends her apologies as well.” Trevor slid one hand down his arm and then squeezed James’s fingers. “I missed you these last few days.”
James groaned when they hit a bump and it jarred his ankle. “Why? You acted like I was an embarrassment the entire time. I mean, I know I can be a little clumsy, but I can’t see.” He turned toward Trevor. “I don’t want to be a burden to you or anyone.”
“No, I didn’t, and you weren’t an embarrassment at all. I knew Collin was a source of tension, so I tried to be attentive.” Trevor sounded agitated as he pulled to a stop.
“But you never let go of me the entire night.”
“Because I wanted you to know I was there to support you.”
“You cut up my food.”
“Because I wanted to make things easier for you since you’re self-conscious about making a mess, which you didn’t do.”
“I heard people calling me clumsy.” James hated that most of all.
“And I wanted to throw Collin out of the house when I heard that too.” They began moving again. “You have never been an embarrassment to me. You can’t see. So I tried to help make some things easier. I really like you, James.”
“But why?”
“I don’t know.”
At least James got an honest answer.
“After we left on Sunday, I was confused about what happened, and Dean called, so….”
“I see.” James could picture exactly what happened, which only intensified what he’d already thought. The car hit another bump and he groaned as it stung his ankle.
“We’re almost there.” Trevor sped up slightly. “And I don’t think you do understand. I went out with Dean and had a miserable time because I kept thinking of a certain guy and what he was doing at that moment. I left after an hour and wanted to come see you, but didn’t think you wanted to see me, so I went home.” They turned and slowly pulled to a stop. “I’m going to go inside and get a wheelchair. Then I’ll come out and help you into it. Just relax as much as possible.”
“I will.” James took a deep breath and sighed, berating himself under his breath. Could he have read everything wrong? Was Trevor trying to be nice? God, he felt like a fool. What in the hell could a guy like Trevor ever see in him, though? Something as simple as someone being supportive and kind, and he’d completely misread it.
The door opened next to him. “Okay. I have a wheelchair. So unhook your seat belt, and I’ll get you out and into the chair.” Trevor waited while James did as he asked, then lifted him. James settled against Trevor’s chest and didn’t want to leave. “Sweetheart, I need to put you down.”
“I’m sorry,” James whispered.
“Let’s get you inside so they can fix you up. I get the idea that there’s probably plenty of waiting in our immediate future.” They could talk more once James was inside.
“I just don’t want to be a millstone around your neck.”
Trevor held him a little longer. “Have you ever thought that it’s just the opposite? That maybe you are just what I need?” Trevor turned him around, placed James in the chair, then wheeled him inside.
“May I help you?” a woman asked.
“Yes, I fell and hurt my ankle pretty badly. You need to know that I’m blind, so unless you have forms in Braille, you’ll need to fill them out for me.” He carefully got out his wallet and handed her his identification and insurance card. “The address on the ID is correct.”
“All right. Just give me a minute.” Keys clicked rapidly. “Can I have your phone number, please?”
James provided it. “And Trevor is with me, so he is allowed to know my medical condition today.”
“I take it you’ve been through this routine before.”
“Yeah, though I haven’t been here in a while.” He tried to smile and hoped he didn’t look creepy or anything as the soft whir of a printer hummed behind her.
“Okay. I’m going to need your signature on a few things.” She explained each form and read off the pertinent information. James signed where she placed his hand, and once they were done, Trevor wheeled him to the waiting area.
“How is work going?” James asked.
“It’s been a tough week. I thought I had found everything my manager had taken, but I wasn’t even close. He was stealing from me for a long time.”
“I’m sorry.” James wasn’t sure what else to say. “Have you pressed charges?”
“Yes. And he’s in custody for now. But the money is gone and I doubt there’s any chance of getting it back. So I’m looking into every account to make sure I have the resources to meet all of my obligations.” The rumble in Trevor’s throat told James just how worried Trevor was. “If this had gone on much longer, he’d have bankrupted me.”
“Oh God. I didn’t know it was that bad.” James found Trevor’s hand and took it in his.
“None of us did until my accountant was able to dig deeply into the books, and he found fraudulent payments and thousands of dollars in missing inventory because of it. Now I’m paying again to replace what I thought I had so there are more bills because of that. I’m using the savings I had to try to make up the difference, but this whole thing is going to leave me so tight.”
“Is it really that bad?” James asked.
“Yes. I may have to sell my house to make up the difference. The business itself is profitable, but the theft has eaten all of my cash reserves and more. It’s like I just started out all over again.” Trevor paused. “We’re here because of you and to take care of you. We don’t have to talk about all this.”
James grew quiet for a few minutes. “Is it because you don’t think I can handle it?” he finally said, just above a whisper, afraid of the answer.
“Goodness, no. It’s just that you’re hurt and you don’t need to hear my problems. I’ll deal with them.”
James’s name was called, and Trevor pushed him across the quiet room and into a smaller one, where the door was closed behind him. A woman spoke softly, taking his blood pressure and getting specifics about what happened. Once they were done, he was taken back, and Trevor lifted him out of the chair and laid him on a bed of sorts. “A nurse will be in soon and they’ll take a look at what’s happened.”
“Is she gone?” James asked. “So many people come and go here. It’s hard to keep track of them.”
“Yes.”
Someone came in. “I’ve got an ice pack for you.” It was a different woman, and she sounded so gentle. “I’m going to put this beside your ankle so I don’t put pressure on it. Then we’re going to take you down for an X-ray. Your friend can wait here for you.”
“Okay.” James didn’t move. “You don’t have to stay here with me, Trevor. I can call a taxi once they’re done with me.”
Trevor squeezed his hand. “I’m not going anywhere. Just relax and let them help you. I’ll be here when you get back. Do you want me to call anyone for you?”
“I can when I get back. We’re probably going to have plenty of time.”
People came in, and the bed clicked under him as the stops released and he slowly began to move. Trevor didn’t let go of his hand.
“I’m going to go with you.” Trevor walked right next to him, staying with him, and James let the pain go, concentrating on Trevor’s touch. “I’ll be with you the entire time.”
“It’s not like I’m going into surgery.”
They stopped and Trevor leaned close. James could feel his breath on his face. “No. But you can’t see and this place is foreign to you. I wanted to be something familiar to you. They’re about to take you in for the X-ray, and I’ll be right out here when you’re done.”
“Thanks.” James began moving again and then heard a door close behind him.
“I need to take some film of your foot. Can you get onto the X-ray table or do you need help?” a male voice asked.
“I don’t know where the X-ray table is. I’m not able to see, so you’re going to have to help me.” James sat up, and the technician guided him over, gently positioned his foot, and took the images. Then he helped James back so he could lie down again. When he was wheeled out of the room, Trevor was right there, holding his hand once again, walking with him the entire time until James came to a stop. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” The man left the room, and James sighed, willing some of the pain away.
“I have something to ask you,” Trevor said once they were alone. “This is something I never really thought I’d ever ask anyone again.”
James stilled, tension building inside him. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. But I was wondering if you’d be my boyfriend?” Trevor’s voice quivered.
“Wait a minute. You want me to be your boyfriend? You left me on Sunday and went to a club so you could pick up guys.”
“No. Well, yes. But I didn’t pick up anyone. See, I didn’t want to. I was miserable because when guys came up to me, I looked at all of them and compared them to you. I didn’t realize how you’d taken things at my dad’s and thought you were upset about Collin and needed some time alone, and then I didn’t hear anything from you for three days.” Trevor groaned. “I’m so crappy at relationships. I’ve only had one and that was with Chase, and….” Trevor pulled back. “I can’t talk about him right now. I just can’t. But trust me. I sat at that bar and realized what I wanted—you.”
“But how could you? We’ve known each other for two weeks.” James sat up and removed the ice pack to let his ankle warm up. “I’m not like some puppy that you bring out and take for a walk.”
“Is that another of Collin’s words of wisdom? Because I’d really like to beat the crap out of that guy.”
“You didn’t say anything to him at dinner when he was being snide.”
“Only because I didn’t want to highlight the issue. I was hoping you didn’t hear him, though I should have known you would with your exceptional hearing. I just wanted you to have a good time, and I stayed close to you because I wanted you to know that I was there and being supportive. I know how hard that was for you.” Trevor gently stroked the back of his hand, and James really liked the gentleness in the touch. “As for you being blind, big deal. We’ll figure things out.”
“And what if it becomes too much for you?”
“Is that what happened with Collin?”
James scoffed. “That’s what he said when he left me. That I was too big a burden. But I think he wanted something, and when he didn’t get it, he lashed out and left. My dad is a successful executive, and I think he went along with my mom’s plan to cozy up to me in order to gain favor with Dad. He kept asking if I’d talk to my dad about a job for him, and when I refused and said that I couldn’t do that because it wasn’t right, he said that was okay and made like everything was fine. But then the next time we went to the club, he made sure I spilled all kinds of things. He told me where my glass was and made sure it was over a little so I’d knock it over. He even turned my plate during the meal so I’d slop. My mom got impatient, and he sided with her and then decided I was too much work to be with.”
“Did you know what he was doing at the time?”
“No. Marti told me about the plate thing. She didn’t think too much of it when she saw it, but once we talked and compared notes, I realized what he’d been doing. And to make matters worse, Mom still likes the guy.”
“Does she know the truth?”
“Are you kidding? Truth is whatever she thinks it is and nothing more. I managed to stay away from him for years, and then like a bad penny, there he is. And to make matters worse, he ruined a perfectly lovely evening with your dad and Margaret, who are wonderful people. And Rachel is a total doll.”
“If it makes any difference, they really liked you. Dad said that Margaret was asking why we left so early and that she hoped you were comfortable. I explained about Collin and she said, quote, ‘That sweet young man is welcome in my house any time, and you tell him that Collin definitely isn’t.’ She had only invited them so we’d have other people to talk to.”
Footsteps and the sound of a throat clearing stopped the conversation. “I’m Dr. Hanson, and I’ve looked at the X-rays. There don’t seem to be any broken bones, but the sprain is one of the worst I’ve seen. We have a brace that we’ll give you for your ankle and it should compress it and allow you to walk, but it would be better if you stay off it for a few days. Continue to wear the compression bandage and ice the ankle for the next twenty-four hours. Do you have someone you can stay with?”
“Why?” James felt his hackles rise. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
“I wasn’t saying otherwise, Mr. Stewart. I know you’re perfectly capable. Richie Hanson is my son.”
James’s ire melted in an instant at the mention of one of his students from a few years ago.
“You helped him tremendously, and he’s as independent as you seem to be. But the next few days are going to be hard. Your ankle is going to be painful, and sleep is going to be very difficult. Even the pressure from the blankets will be uncomfortable. So, if you have someone who can help you….”
“I can probably call my sister.”
“It’s all right, doctor. I’ll see to it that James is taken care of.” Trevor squeezed his hand. “It’s what a good boyfriend does.”
Damned if James couldn’t almost feel Trevor grinning at him.
“Then we’ll get you fixed right up and you can be on your way.” Dr. Hanson paused briefly. “And I want to thank you personally for what you did for Richie. He’s doing well, going off to college in the fall on a full academic scholarship, and part of that is because of you.”
“That’s so wonderful to hear. Give him my best.” James extended his hand, and Dr. Hanson shook it.
“Be sure to contact your regular doctor tomorrow. We’ll send a report over, but it’s best if they know what’s going on.”
“I will.”
Dr. Hanson left, and James waited until the nurse came in and helped him put on the brace, explaining how everything worked and letting him feel it so James could put it on and take it off himself. Then Trevor helped him to his feet, and James put tentative weight on his ankle. It hurt, but less than it had before. Trevor helped support him as he made his way to the checkout desk, where he signed what he needed to, and then Trevor guided him out the door.
“Stay here and I’ll bring the car around.” Trevor put his hand on a pillar so James could support himself and then hurried away. James stood one-legged until he heard Trevor’s car, with its soft engine purr, pull up near him. He followed the sound and was able to open the door and get inside. It took him a while to get his foot comfortable, but once he pulled the door closed and lay back, some of the tension he’d been holding on to for hours drained away.
His phone rang as Trevor pulled away.
“James, are you okay? I just got your voice mail. I don’t know what was wrong, but your call didn’t come through and then I heard your message. What happened?”
“I slipped on some cardboard on my porch and sprained my ankle.”
“Did you call Mom?” Marti asked, still talking a mile a minute.
“God, no. I called Trevor and he took me to the hospital, where they checked me over and gave me a brace for my ankle. It really hurts, but they gave me something for it and at least it has some support now.”
“Trevor, huh. So how did that come about?”
“The world’s most opportune butt dial,” James answered honestly. “He came right away, and we’ve talked through some things.”
“I thought he was a jerk,” Marti reminded him.
“I guess things aren’t as I thought they were.” He didn’t want to have this conversation in the car with Trevor. “But I’m okay now, and Trevor is driving me back home.”
“Do you want me to come over?”
“No. It’s late, and I’m going to go home, put my foot up, and try to relax as much as possible. I’m afraid it’s going to be a long night. I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Okay. Do you want me to call Mom?”
God, he loved her for asking. “No. I have to do it.” James hated making that call, but it had to be done. At least he was on his way home and everything was fine.
He ended the call and dialed his mother, who went full drama queen on him for at least five minutes.
“I’m fine and I’m nearly home.”
“Who’s driving?” she demanded sharply.
“Trevor came to my rescue.”
She huffed. “Why can’t you find someone nice who doesn’t look like a hoodlum?”
“You mean like Collin?”
“He was nice,” she countered.
“No. Collin is a jerk, and your taste in guys leaves a lot to be desired.” Maybe he’d been doing her a disservice by not telling her everything that had happened with Collin. Hell, he wasn’t doing himself any good either. “I like Trevor, Mom. He’s good to me and he really cares.”
Trevor placed his hand on James’s leg.
“I think we need to talk about some of your decisions.” Now she was just getting on his nerves. James was in pain, and she was pushing, which was something he didn’t need.
“No, we don’t. I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions.”
Trevor pulled to a stop and turned off the engine.
“We just got home, and I need to get inside and put my foot up. I’m doing just fine. It was only a sprain and I need to rest it. Nothing life-threatening.” He intentionally made light of it because doing so was the only way his mother would leave it. He knew she cared, but the drama and overreaction could be too much. “I love you, Mom, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
She took a deep breath. “I love you too, and I’m glad you’re all right.” He knew she sometimes let her motherly instincts run amok. “I just want you to be happy.”
“I know you do. But that’s something I have to do for myself.” James said good-bye and ended the call, sitting still in the seat as a small realization came over him. He’d been letting everyone else determine how he made himself happy, but what he’d just told his mother was right—it had to come from him. It was internal, not something that came from someone else.
“Are you ready?” Trevor asked.
“I’m sorry I was on the phone the entire time.” He didn’t want Trevor to think he’d been ignoring him. James opened the door, and Trevor came around and helped him limp up the walk to the door. James handed Trevor his keys, and Trevor guided him inside and to the sofa that sat across from the chairs he usually used. James sat down, and Trevor helped him lie back and put his foot up.
“Do you have extra pillows?”
“Yeah. There’s a closet outside my bedroom in the hallway,” James said as the pressure on his foot abated and some of the pain ebbed away.
Trevor left and returned with pillows for his foot and head, then left once again. Ice cubes clinked in the kitchen, and then a cold pack settled gently on his ankle. “Do you need anything to drink?”
“A belt of vodka,” James quipped. “No, I’m fine for now.” He got comfortable and tried to let more of the tension ease away. “You don’t need to stay.”
Trevor didn’t argue with him. Instead, his scent intensified and Trevor kissed him. “I’ll be fine. You relax and rest.” Trevor kissed him again, and James wound his arms around his neck, drawing him closer. The pain in his foot receded in favor of the heat that spread from his lips and down his spine, settling in his groin. “You are a beautiful man—I hope you know that.”
James hummed. “You know that looks have very little meaning to me. I can remember what some things look like, but it’s been more than half my life since I saw anything.”
“I know.”
“Telling me I’m beautiful is one thing, but I don’t have a frame of reference for that. I can’t look in a mirror, and I can’t see you. I know you’re stunning and hunky. My sister told me that, and my mother is having fits over you, so that tells me a lot. Lester also tells me that you’re hot as hell. But what does that mean?” James released Trevor and sat up. “What counts for me is what’s right here.” He found Trevor’s chest and placed his hand in the center of it. “This, your heart, and how you treat me and care for me is all I have to go by. Nothing else matters.”
“But I want you to feel good about yourself.”
That one sentence told James a great deal about Trevor, though he wasn’t sure what to do about it, if anything. “The way I’ll feel good about myself is knowing that the fact that I can’t see you doesn’t make a difference. I don’t know how to put it in a frame of reference you’ll understand.” James thought a minute and tried to imagine how he’d explain things to the parents of one of his students. “My worldview is different because I can’t view anything. I struggle a lot of the time to understand how people are feeling because so many cues are visual. So I try to make up for it by listening closely and using other senses. Did you know that when you’re upset, you smell different? You have a slight garlicky scent that comes forward. When you’re happy or excited, I can smell that too, and it’s delicious. Think of it as the candy version of you. If you want me to feel good about myself, then make yourself happy, and you make me happy because you make my world better.”
Trevor didn’t move. “I smell different?”
“Yes, you do. Sometimes when you wear heavy cologne, like at the club the night we met, it was like you were a brick wall of scent that meant nothing. But that’s beside the point. If you want me to feel good about myself, then treat me the way you’d want to be treated. You do that most of the time anyway. No one else takes me for motorcycle rides because everyone else thinks I’m incapable of doing that. Who else would have thought of taking me, a blind guy, go-karting? You did. And maybe sometime we can play miniature golf.” James felt Trevor’s confusion ripple through him.
“How would we do that?”
“Put something that beeps on a stick and place it in the hole. Did you know that blind people can play baseball? I want to do that too. I want to live my life as happily and fully as I can. I haven’t been doing that lately, but I want to. So if you want me to feel good about myself, then give me something to feel good about.” James blinked because his eyes were watering. “Did I just make a speech?”
“Sort of, but it was a good one. Now I’m going to put your lips to better use for a while.” Trevor kissed him again, pulling James against his solid chest and then guiding him back down. The cushions crumpled under him as Trevor added some of his weight. Solid, strong warmth surrounded James as Trevor held him tighter, squeezing a little, but in the best way possible. It was easy to imagine Trevor being there for him, protecting him, and James let go of his last reluctance held over from days earlier and gave himself completely to the kiss. His foot might have disappeared, because nothing was getting through the cloud of pleasure that engulfed his mind as Trevor took possession of James.
Trevor gently pressed his tongue between James lips, and he parted them, giving up the last control and letting Trevor take what he wanted. But what was shocking was that what Trevor wanted was exactly what James needed. He groaned deep in his throat as Trevor nibbled at James’s upper lip, sucking on it gently.
“God, you taste good.”
“You too.” James refused to let go of Trevor, pulling him back down into another kiss because he didn’t want this to end. Hell, he even pressed his hips upward, damn near humping Trevor because he was so turned on. He tried to remember the last time he’d felt this alive—and couldn’t. Even with Collin he’d never fired on this many cylinders.
James unfastened two of Trevor’s shirt buttons and slid his hands underneath, needing to feel him. Trevor pulled back, and James wondered if he’d gone too far, letting his hands slip away. But seconds later Trevor held him once again, this time bare to the waist.
“I like it when you touch me.”
“Good, because I like touching you.” James took that as permission and let his hands roam over thick, corded muscle. When Trevor held him a little closer, James pressed his cheek to Trevor’s chest, inhaling his musky scent, which grew more intense by the second. Trevor was excited, no doubt about that. His entire body, from the rigid way he held himself to the intensity of his scent, screamed that to James.
“How is your foot?”
“What foot?” James asked and buried his nose in Trevor’s chest, inhaling deeply and quivering with excitement. He located a nipple with his fingers, plucked at the hard bud, and the sound he got from Trevor—pure, deep, musical magic. He plucked again, and Trevor, the huge, strong man holding him, quivered like a leaf. It was an exhilarating experience to have that kind of effect on someone else. James replaced his fingers with his tongue, flicking it over Trevor’s nipple and then sucking, tasting his musky, almost earthy skin.
“James,” Trevor cried with a needy undertone that was impossible to miss.
James wound his arms around Trevor’s waist, having no intention of letting him go this time. James understood being nice and even gentlemanly—he’d encountered both of them many times in his life, and they usually hid something underneath. Tonight, he wanted raw and intense, and he wasn’t above driving Trevor crazy to do it.
“What about your foot?”
James pulled away, wishing he could stare into Trevor’s eyes. He knew how people appeared in general, but just once, even for only a minute, he wanted to know what Trevor looked like in the moment. “What about it?”
“You need to take it easy.”
James sighed. “So you don’t want this.” He should have known that all the talking had been just words.
“No.” Trevor took James’s hand and placed it on his jeans. It took James a second to realize what he was feeling, and then he rubbed his hand up and down Trevor’s prodigious length. “I want you to know what you’re doing to me, but you just got home and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. I want you to take away the pain and replace it. I want to know that what you said wasn’t just words.” James practically shook with frustration and hurt. “Remember, I can’t see. I need to know….”
Trevor leaned forward, gently lowering James to the cushions again. “I think you’re trying to use the blind thing to your advantage,” he said with humor in his tone. “If you want me to, I’ll show you exactly what you mean to me.” Trevor tugged at the hem of James’s shirt, pulling it up and then off.
James tingled as Trevor’s hot breath kissed over his skin. He jumped slightly when Trevor kissed his chest and then down his belly. James wound his hands through Trevor’s silky hair and caressed his scalp as Trevor went lower. James’s breath hitched when Trevor’s fingers glided over the strip of skin just above his belt. He stilled, praying Trevor would continue.
Trevor did, unfastening his belt and pulling it off, dropping it to the floor with a chink of the belt buckle. “You’re sure about this?”
“Yes.” James voice shook and he didn’t give a crap. He wanted Trevor to touch him so badly that getting oxygen in his lungs was totally secondary at that moment. Trevor tugged at the fastener of his jeans and then snapped it open, the pressure of the band around his waist easing instantly. James thrust his hips upward as Trevor parted the fabric, mashing his face into James’s cotton-clad groin. “Don’t tease me.”
“I never tease, and I do what I promise.” Trevor moaned and reached for the waistband of his briefs. James whimpered as Trevor fished him out. “Damn.” Trevor gasped, and then James was engulfed in warm, wet heat that threatened to blow the top of his head off. He pulled his fingers out of Trevor’s hair and grasped the sides of his own head, groaning as Trevor took him deep.
“I didn’t think you’d….”
Trevor hummed and bobbed his head, each downstroke driving James out of his mind. This was too much to hope for. He had honestly thought that he’d never be touched like this again in his life.
“You taste really good,” Trevor purred as he paused.
James heaved air into his lungs just in time to have it stolen once again.
Trevor’s mouth and tongue did amazing things to him. James flew so high so fast, he couldn’t tell what those things were; all he knew was that Trevor seemed to know his body better than he did. James gripped the sides of the couch, crushing the cushion in his grasp as he tried to steady himself and stop the shaking that threatened to race through him. This was heady in the extreme.
“I’m not going to last.”
“Sweetheart.” Trevor gripped him tightly, stroking just slowly enough to drive James wild. “I don’t want you to hold back. I want you to soar. So just lie back, relax as best you can, and let it happen.” Trevor took him in his mouth once again, and James’s ears rang with bells of joy as pressure built rapidly. He tingled all over, and his climax washed over him.
James stilled, breathing, afraid to move. All pain was gone and he just was. He felt Trevor slip away and then place a hand on his chest, keeping it still and them connected through the touch. James never wanted this to end.
“You are beautiful. I know you can’t see it, but you in the throes of passion is a sight to behold.”
“Why?”
Trevor chuckled. “That’s your favorite question. Maybe you need to get another one. If someone gives you a compliment and tells you that you were the most incredible sight as you tumbled into release, the appropriate response isn’t ‘why?’ It’s ‘thank you.’ Or something along the lines of ‘Trevor, you were the god who made me feel that way.’”
James snickered. “God, huh?”
“I’ll accept demigod if you insist.” Trevor stroked his belly. “Everything in life doesn’t have a reason. Some things just are, and when that happens and it’s good, just be grateful for it. The bad stuff will show up eventually.” Trevor leaned over him, the sofa cushions shifting under his weight. “And you are beautiful, and I want you to know that I have never seen anyone like you.”
“I guess that makes us even, because I’ve never seen anyone like you either.” James hoped he pulled off his smirk.
“Good one.” Trevor kissed him sweetly and then tucked James back into his underwear.
James managed to get his hands to work and finished doing up his pants. “What about you?” he asked weakly. His release and his foot had taken so much out of him, he was already growing sleepy.
“I’m fine.” Trevor groaned under his breath as he stood, and then his footsteps grew distant and returned. A light blanket draped over him, and instantly James was comfortable. Trevor placed the cold pack back on his ankle, and James shivered before letting go of consciousness and slipping into a nap.
It must have been late, really late, and he really should be in bed, but James was comfortable and moving was going to be an exercise in pain, so he lay still, and as the air in the room chilled, he burrowed under the blanket Trevor had brought for him and slept happily.
He woke sometime in the middle of the night, his foot throbbing. James pushed the blanket away, gritted his teeth, and slowly sat up. He had no idea if he was alone in the house or not. He listened for any sound at all, but there was nothing. He had half hoped that Trevor would stay with him.
James hobbled to the bathroom and took Tylenol for the pain, then hobbled into his bedroom to lie down on the bed to let the medication kick in.
A strong arm pulled him close and Trevor mumbled softly about James still having his pants on. Trevor sat up and stripped him completely, except for his ankle brace, then lay back down, and James moaned as acres of warmth pressed to him. Trevor fell back asleep in minutes, even though part of him was very definitely awake, but that too grew quiet and less insistent. Eventually, once the medication kicked in, James was able to sleep once again.
“DID YOU call in to work or are you going to try to go in?” Trevor asked, waking James hours later. He had no idea what time it was and reached for his clock, which told him it was a little after eight. “I brought you your phone.” Trevor pressed it into his hand, and James let the school know what had happened and that he’d be in tomorrow.
“What about you?”
“I have another meeting with my accountant in an hour, so I need to leave soon.” Trevor sat on the edge of the bed. “I want you to rest. I’ll call you a little later to make sure you don’t need anything.”
James knew that was best. “I don’t want to sit here alone all day.” God, that was the last thing he wanted, sitting around listening as the hours ticked by slowly. James hated being sick, but being laid up was even worse. It meant being alone and bored for the entire day.
“I know, and I’d take you with me if I could. But there isn’t a place for you to put your foot up, and you need to rest. I’ll be back after I’m done with work.”
“Then here. Take a key so you can get back in. But I’d like to understand where you work.”
“Then I’ll bring you in on Saturday.” Trevor sounded amused. “I bet there will be all kinds of new smells and sounds for you.”
“Why do I get the idea that you’re picking on me?”
“Well, I’m not. If you want a new experience, I bet the garage will definitely be one of them. Now go to sleep and get some rest. I’ll come back once I’m through.”
James had no choice but to agree. “I hope things go well.” He had a feeling it wasn’t going to be one of those meetings where good news was shared. Trevor had already told him things were difficult because of the theft, and he hoped Trevor could work through his problems without them costing everything he had.