January
“I CAN’T believe you decided to move in on the coldest day of the year,” Trevor told James, but with no heat in his voice. Brent, Dean, Tim, and Marshall had all helped. It seemed that the holidays had warmed away most of Dean’s petulance that Trevor’s clubbing days were over. Not that he missed them, though Trevor still worried that Dean might still be carrying a torch for him. There had been no outward sign, and hopefully seeing him and James together would end that notion. Trevor firmly believed that what Dean needed was to find someone like James who would love him and be the center of his world.
“We spent the entire holiday season running between your family, my family, and between the houses. Your house is bigger than mine, and we didn’t have to put mine on the market.”
“It was lucky that Mrs. Ledbetter’s daughter was looking for a house near her mother and fell in love with yours.” That made the entire process of selling very easy, and all they’d needed was someone to handle the transfer and closing.
“Yup. Now that’s all done, and Penny seems happy too.” She was curled at James’s feet. Trevor and James had discussed quite vigorously where Penny was going to sleep. Trevor felt it should be on the floor of the laundry room, and James wanted her in the corner of the bedroom. James won that argument and Penny’s bed was in their room, but Trevor drew the line at her sleeping with them.
Not that he needed to have worried. Penny was well trained and stayed in her bed, and the two of them stayed in theirs. The first night the three of them had been in the room, Trevor and James had gotten a little loud, and Penny ended up sleeping in the laundry room anyway.
“She is,” Trevor said as James sat next to him on the sofa. “I ordered food a little while ago, and it should be here in fifteen minutes. Help yourselves to anything you want to drink in the refrigerator.” It was easier for them to get what they wanted, and the boxes in the house created a minefield that James wasn’t able to readily navigate.
“How did you decide what to keep between the two of you?” Marshall asked.
“It was easy. Most of my furniture was secondhand and James’s was nicer, so I donated mine. James doesn’t tend to collect things, so it wasn’t that hard. Now we just have to put things away and label the heck out of everything.”
“Just tell us where to put things,” Brent said, and Trevor supervised while box after box was unpacked. Dean worked with James in the bedroom to help him put things away in his closet. It was a calculated risk on Trevor’s part, and judging by the easy conversation, it was working and Dean would soon forget his resentment of James.
Once the food arrived, they took a break to eat. Margaret and Trevor’s dad joined them, and afterward they all went back to work. By the time the sun was going down outside, the boxes had been stowed in the garage or the basement and the house was free of tripping hazards, which was a huge deal. Trevor had once brought some paperwork in his bag to James’s place a few months ago and left it by the door. He’d forgotten about it, but James had tripped. Thankfully he’d caught himself on the chair and hadn’t been hurt, but it had taught Trevor a lesson. James’s environment had to be clean, neat, and free of any obstacles at all times.
“This is your home now,” Trevor said that evening once he’d built a small fire and they sat on the sofa in front of it.
“Our home,” James corrected. “Yours, mine, and Penny’s.”
She was an amazing dog, even if having her in the bedroom at night sometimes made Trevor a little antsy only because his time alone with James was still so precious to him. However, he knew he’d get over it, and if having Penny there was a comfort to James, then that’s what really mattered.
James leaned closer, just resting against him. “Do we have anything planned for tomorrow?”
“No.”
“I listened to the weather, and it’s supposed to be cold but clear, so I thought we might take a ride.” James stood, and Trevor watched as he carefully made his way out of the room and into the office. He came back with an envelope that he handed Trevor, then sat back down. “I think we should go here.”
Trevor opened it and read the page, wondering what James was up to until he saw the name at the top.
THE FOLLOWING day, Trevor parked the car. “Do you want to come with me?”
“Yes.” James got out, and Penny came right to him. He held her harness with his right hand, and Trevor took his left. It took a little while, but what they were looking for was close to the road. When Trevor saw the name Chase Longacre on the white granite stone, he fell to his knees in the snow to get a closer look.
“I haven’t been here…. They didn’t tell me where he was buried. How did you find it?”
“I looked at family obituaries and called the cemeteries until I got the right one.” James placed his hand on Trevor’s shoulder, with Penny nudging his side. “You spend a few minutes alone with him. Penny and I will be just over here.” He moved away, and Trevor returned his attention to the headstone.
“I’m sorry, Chase.” He realized there were a lot of things he wanted to say as guilt washed over him. “I should have been there for you when you needed me. I know your parents blame me for what happened, and then I blamed myself. But I have to tell you that you made me happy and were special to me. You still are.” He turned to where James stood with Penny, the sun shining around him. “I stopped loving and caring about anyone for a long time after I lost you. I honestly thought I didn’t deserve anyone.” He turned back to the stone.
“I met James, and he changed all that, and I think I see now that you’d have been angry with me for taking so much time. You always led with your heart, which was why I think I fell in love with you in the first place. James does the same thing, and it was his idea that we come here. I think he knew I needed to say good-bye. I mourned your loss for a very long time.”
A cold breeze skimmed over the ground, picking up snow and lifting it into the air. Then it became peaceful again as the flakes fell all around him.
“I hope you’re at peace. You deserve that.”
Trevor stood, and with a final look at Chase’s grave, turned toward James and Penny. Chase was his past and he’d always remember him, but James was his future and hopefully the rest of his life. He took James’s arm, smiled even though James couldn’t see it, and leaned in to kiss him.
It was time to go home.