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ALEX ROLLED OVER AND felt a distinct poke in her side. Her eyes popped open and she yelped, returning to her former position on her back. “What the heck?” she mumbled as she reached for the offending object. Just beneath her right hip, she retrieved a black, high-heeled sandal she hadn’t seen or worn in at least two years. “Attacked by outdated shoes. Great,” she muttered just before she tossed the sandal to her left. “Holy crap, I slept in my closet and now I’m talking to myself.” She shoved a hand through the front of her hair and blew out a loud breath. I really am losing my mind, she thought as she rubbed her eyes. When she removed her hands, she stared up at the frayed hemlines of three maxi dresses and two hooded sweatshirts and realized that, in addition to being in desperate need of a shopping outing, she could see clearly in the pitch-dark of her closet.
Bolting upright, her head grazed several articles of clothing. A few shirts fell but she didn’t care. She was more interested in her sudden ability to see the clear outlines of everything around her. Coats, shoes, dresses, sneakers, jeans, a ratty stuffed animal. She could see it all. Though her vision possessed a predominantly green hue to it, she could still see the contents of her closet as plainly as she could in the light of day. “Wow, maybe eating all my veggies paid off,” Alex said aloud as she reached up and gripped the doorknob. She turned it then crawled out, leaving behind her sad wardrobe and collection of junk. She stood slowly, expecting the dizziness and headache to return, as well as expecting to feel aches and pains in her back and joints. To her surprise, however, she felt fine. Better than fine, actually. Noticeably absent was the headache and vertigo that had plagued her earlier. The physically drained, flu-like weakness she’d felt was gone, too. She felt oddly energized. More energized than she had in longer than she could remember. She felt inexplicably stronger, sharper. Healthier. Alex began to wonder whether she’d had an episode of some kind or another. Perhaps she’d been very ill and had suffered a fever-induced hallucination. It had happened. She was sure that if she were to Google it right now, she’d find page after page of reported incidents when fevers had induced delirium and vivid visions. All figments of the sick person’s imagination.
Relief flooded Alex’s mind as her freshly-hatched rationalization explained all that she’d experienced hours earlier. Had it been hours earlier? She wasn’t sure. And if so, how many hours earlier? What time was it, she wondered. Her room was dark. She could see well but the lights weren’t on and the same sunlight that had blinded her earlier didn’t trickle in through her blinds or curtains.
Gaze sweeping the room, her eyes immediately landed on the clock on her nightstand. The digital display read six-thirty.
Six-thirty!! She’d slept all day!
Apparently it had been much-needed sleep as she appeared to have fended off a nasty bug while doing so.
Shaking her head, she crossed the room and picked up her phone, which sat on the nightstand next to her clock. She flipped on the lamp and looked at the locked screen. She guessed there were a half dozen texts. Half of which were from Brandon.
“Hey Alex! Looking forward to tonight!” was one of the messages, followed by a smiley-face emoji. A few hours later, he’d texted, “Are we still good for 7:30?” Then a half hour ago, he’d sent another message. “Haven’t heard from you. Are you okay?”
Alex smiled as she read the messages. Her heart beat a bit harder and a fluttering sensation pulsed in her stomach. It had been a long time since she’d had anything to look forward to, and even longer since she’d had a date. She replied to his messages first with, “Nudge-nudge” and a winking emoji.
Brandon read and responded to her text as soon as it had been delivered.
“Hi! Was worried about you,” it read. The next was, “Are we still on for tonight?”
Earlier in the day, she’d felt so awful she’d been certain she’d have to cancel. But now, feeling as she did and in the curiously ebullient mood she was in, she couldn’t think of a reason not to go. Not even after, while turning her head and thinking of a clever response to Brandon’s text, she caught a glimpse of her blood-soaked uniform on the dresser. The one that also bore a bullet hole.
The phone nearly slipped from her hand.
Seeing the uniform, seeing the blood, dispelled any belief that she’d imagined the events of the night before as part of fever or illness-induced delirium. Hands trembling, she looked away from the dress and stared at the phone. Brandon was awaiting a response. But she couldn’t decide what to do. Or what to say. Should she cancel? Now, at six-thirty when he was due to pick her up in an hour? It would be rude. And he’d likely not ask her out again. She didn’t feel as she’d felt earlier. Whatever sickness had prompted her odd behavior and led to her sleeping in her closet had been real. But it had dissipated. The blood-stained dress and the memories surrounding it felt real, and they had not dissipated.
A single question mark came from Brandon in text. He was still waiting.
“Yes,” she replied impulsively to his text, then “see you then.” He asked where she lived and she replied with her address.
When the text exchange was finished, she folded her arms across her chest and closed her eyes, listening to the beat of her heart as she steadied her thoughts. Though her heart thudded, the rhythm wasn’t frantic. Soothed by the sound, she decided a shower was in order. Whatever had happened last night—and judging from her bloody uniform dress, the evening had transpired exactly as she’d remembered—she was grateful to be alive. She’d shower and go out and hopefully laugh a little. She’d get to take a break from school, work, home and fixating on every detail of last night. There would be plenty of time to obsess over last night. In the meantime, she’d take this time and make the best of it.
Determined, Alex opened her eyes and marched out of her room and into the bathroom. There, she turned on the shower and stripped out of her clothes, brushing her teeth as she waited for the water to heat. Once she finished brushing her teeth, she stepped beneath the showerhead and the powerful spray from the jets worked their magic, cleaning and invigorating her. When she’d finished, she stepped out, dried herself then wiped the condensation from the mirror. She bent to grab her blow dryer from the cabinet below the vanity but startled at the sight of herself. Studying her refection in the mirror as she plugged the dryer in to the electrical outlet, she couldn’t believe what she saw.
Her skin glowed, a healthy glow that wasn’t a result of the scalding water and hard scrubbing she’d just subjected herself to in the shower, and her eyes, always hazel with a tendency to look brown from a distance, shimmered a shade of deep gold even from as far back as she stood. Her lips were plumper and her cheekbones more defined. Her fingertips grazed them, tracing the sharp angle from her temple to the corner of her mouth.
“Breathe, just breathe,” she mumbled to herself as she stepped back even further.
Lowering her towel just a bit, she gasped. Her chest was noticeably different. Breasts fuller and slightly rounder, they sat higher somehow. Alex stood on her tiptoes and noticed that her fuller upper body narrowed to a waist that was tighter and a stomach that was flatter.
Eyes rounding, she did a double take. She looked like herself, for sure. No one would mistake her for someone else. The differences were subtle. But they made a difference. It was as if each of her features had been refined. This is crazy, she thought to herself. It must be the lighting in here. Maybe a new bulb with a really forgiving filter built in. Vowing to replace every lightbulb in the house with the same one in the bathroom if that were the case, she began blow drying her hair. Time was ticking and she wanted to be completely ready by the time Brandon arrived.
As she rolled the round brush through her typically stubborn waves, glistening highlights appeared, contrasting the dark blonde shade of her mane. The texture, as smooth as silk, straightened effortlessly and fell past her shoulders.
Hair dried in half the time it normally took, she applied a little mascara and a cherry lip balm and was done with her makeup. She dashed from the bathroom to her room in her towel, realizing she hadn’t brought clothes with her, and hoped her mother hadn’t brought home some random man she’d met at work or at the local watering hole after work. Luckily, the house was quiet at the moment and she made it to her room without encountering anyone. She searched the contents of her closet and settled on a long-sleeve top she’d splurged on two years ago, skinny jeans and her go-to black leather boots. The color of the top had faded some from washing and the black was not as crisp as she’d have liked. But the way in which it hugged her new curves more than compensated. And her jeans! She hadn’t inspected the lower half of her body in the bathroom. The space was tiny and she’d run out of room. But now, as she stared at her legs in the full-length mirror in the corner of her room, she saw that they appeared shapelier. Toned. Her backside popped out more than normal and her previously too-thin legs had filled out, as well.
Alex stood, gaping at her reflection. She was wondering whether she’d been imagining the changes until a commotion sounded at the front door and her sister knocked seconds later.
“Alex? How are you feeling? Are you up?” Carly said from the other side of her bedroom door.
“Come in,” Alex replied.
“Hey, I was worried about—” Carly started but when she took one look at Alex, her jaw dropped. Mouth hanging agape, she didn’t blink for several beats. When finally she did, she said, “Whoa, you look amazing!” Eyes wide and excitement glittering in the depths of her dark irises, Carly bounded into the room. “You hair and your eyes...all of you!” her eyes traveled the length of Alex’s body. “You look incredible!”
“Thanks,” Alex mumbled. She wasn’t used to a fuss being made over her, and she certainly wasn’t used to being showered with compliments.
“When did you wake up? Mom and I were only gone for an hour. Did you do the highlights yourself? They look so natural.” Carly touched Alex’s hair, examining a lock and marveling at the new but subtle streaks of color that brightened her usual shade.
Before Alex could answer and tell her sister she hadn’t done anything to her hair, her mother swept down the hallway. Stopping off at Alex’s door, she glanced inside. “Hey Alex, I heard you were sick and don’t want to catch what you have so I’m not coming in,” she said. But as soon as she caught sight of Alex, she opened the door farther. “Well, well, well, look who took her mother’s advice and decided to do something with herself for once.” Her mother’s hands flew to her hips and a smug smile spread across her face. “I see why you were sick.” She raised her hands and made air quotes around the word “sick.” “You were giving your looks an overhaul. Good for you! Time is ticking and you’re not getting any younger. Sprucing up your looks is the best way to land a man.” She stepped over the threshold and into the room. Folding her arms across her chest, she circled Alex.
“I really didn’t do anything—” Alex started but her mother was too busy inspecting the changes and cataloguing them.
“The boobs are bigger and higher, so either you got a boob job or invested in a good push-up bra. I recommend the boob job. A push-up bra that adds size is just false advertising.” She waved a hand in the air dismissively. “Permanent is better if you want to land and keep a man.”
Alex rolled her eyes. “Mom, I’m serious, it’s not a new bra—”
“And lightening your hair is a good move, too.” Her mother fluffed the side of her over-processed hair. “Bright blonde is eye catching. Brown and whatever color you had before is just so blah. Like a paper bag.”
Annoyance boiled within Alex. “Mom!” she said through clenched teeth.
Her mother turned and looked at Carly, “No offense, doll.” She winked. “We’ll work on that dark hairdo you’ve got going on just as soon as you want. I have the stripping kit in my closet ready to go when you are.”
Carly’s cheeks flushed scarlet. “I-I like my hair,” she stammered with a wounded expression.
“Okay, Mom! That’s enough!” Alex snapped. To Carly, she said, “Your hair is perfect. It is a rich, beautiful color that suits you perfectly. You’re right to like it and want to keep it.” Then to both of them, she said, “And I didn’t highlight my hair. I always liked my hair just the way it was. It must’ve been the shampoo or something,” she said, wondering the last sentence aloud.
“Whatever you say,” Alex’s mom threw her hands in the air. “If you want to tell people it’s some kind of shampoo accident, go right ahead, but know there’s no shame in hair dye.”
Alex swallowed hard and bit back angry words. She couldn’t explain the changes. She couldn’t volunteer information to dispute any inferences her mother had been making either. “I didn’t dye my hair,” she said tightly.
“Right,” her mother said. The smug smile returned. “Well, whatever you didn’t do, looks much better than what you had before.” She’d flashed air quotes again when she’d said “didn’t do” and Alex felt the urge to remove her index fingers from the standard air quotes and flash her own unique air quotes that meant something entirely different.
“Thank you.” Alex fairly growled the words. Her mother’s compliments were always backhanded. Like the time she’d said, “Oh Alex, I wish I had tiny little cute boobs like yours instead of these. It’s all men ever look at!” Oh yes, Alex’s mother was the queen of backhanded compliments. Alex had been on the receiving end of them for as long as she could remember. One of her earlier memories was of her mother patting her stomach when she was ten and saying, “Don’t worry, you’ll get your period soon and lose this pot belly. If not, I’ve got some diet pills. Either way, it’ll go.” She’d always managed to make Alex feel inadequate, at best. She hoped to shield Carly from it, but it was hard. She wasn’t home a lot to intercept insults or diffuse backhanded compliments. Work and school took up much of her time.
“You’re welcome. I may want to borrow whatever shapewear you’ve got on under those jeans, by the way.” Her mother pointed to her backside and torso. “The bra would fit me like a training bra, but that whole butt lifter you’re wearing might help.” Laurie Lockhart tossed a dried lock of hair off her shoulder. “I never needed that stuff when I was your age, of course. I naturally had curves in all the right places.” She frowned at Alex. “I feel bad for you. If you have to do all this stuff now, what will you do in twenty years?” She fanned a hand in front of her. “Guess that’s why it’s best you nail someone down now, before things get any worse.”
Alex took a deep breath, trying to calm herself and maintain her good mood. But it was no use. Heat crept up from her collar, scalding like lava in time with her temper, until it reached her head and vented. “Get out.” The words surged from her mouth before she could stop them. “Get out of my room, please.” She was neither disrespectful nor hostile. Just offhand. Firm and controlled. She’d had enough for one night. Enough to last her a lifetime, in fact.
“What?” Her mother looked genuinely perplexed. “I did something wrong?”
The woman really didn’t have a clue. Alex didn’t have the time it would take to spell it all out for her. And even then, she doubted her mother had the capacity to understand, to put herself in Alex or Carly’s shoes and understand how her words hurt or insulted or belittled them.
“Please, mom.” Alex pointed to the door. “Go.”
Tossing her hands up exaggeratedly so that the metal of her bangle bracelets jangled loudly, she huffed a single word. “Whatever,” she said, then proceeded to mumble words that were unintelligible as she left the room.
Once she was gone, Alex turned to Carly. “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” Carly asked.
“For that.” Alex clipped her chin toward the doorway where their mother had just exited.
“Why? Why be sorry? It’s not your fault she says rude things to you or me.” Carly shrugged. In that moment, she seemed so much older and wiser than her ten years.
“I know,” Alex replied and looked down at her feet. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not sorry. Sorry she says such rude, ridiculous things. I mean, the hair comment? Really?” She gestured to her sister’s straight, dark hair. “I’d cry tears of joy if I woke up with your hair.” Apparently, waking up with different hair wasn’t impossible, a point she decided to leave out at the moment. “Seriously, I had to torture my hair with a round brush and a blow dryer to get it half as smooth as yours.”
“You don’t have to say that.” Carly shook her head. “And your hair looks terrific, by the way. It always does. Wavy or straight. Lighter or how you usually wear it.” She bobbed one shoulder. “You always look great.”
“Thank you. And you’re right, I don’t have to say anything. When have you ever known me to say something I don’t mean?” Alex raised her brow, waiting for an answer.
“You don’t. You’re honest. But you’re nice, too. So...”
“So nothing. And nice? Are you kidding me? Did you just watch me not-so-politely invite our mother to leave this room? Would a nice person do that?” Alex asked.
Carly shook her head. “You don’t get it, Alex. Anybody else would’ve shouted or said mean things to her. And she would’ve deserved it. She says such awful things to you all the time.” Carly shuddered. “But you didn’t. You didn’t act the way she was acting. You just asked her to leave.”
“I kicked her out, let’s not sugarcoat it.” Alex offered her sister a goofy smile.
“Fine, you kicked her out, but it was still nicer than what she deserved and nicer than anything anyone else would’ve done.” Carly clasped her hands in front of her, allowing them to hang loosely, as if she’d presented her closing argument and rested her case.
“If you say so,” Alex replied. “Think I’m nice all you want. I’ll take the credit.” She winked at her sister. “But know that when I tell you you’ve got great hair or that you’re beautiful, I’m not being nice.” She looked her sister in the eyes. “I’m telling the truth.”
Carly blushed and dropped her gaze. She looked up at Alex through her lashes and said, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, but it’s just the truth, Ruth,” Alex said in a silly voice. Her sister laughed. It was true. As Alex looked at her sister, looked at the truly lovely features she possessed, she was saddened to think her self-esteem was being chipped away at with every snide remark her mother made.
“What?” Carly asked. “Why are you looking at me funny?
“I don’t know, I guess I’m just realizing that I’ll need to dig out that old baseball bat I have buried somewhere in my closet.”
Carly looked at her quizzically.
“I’m going to need it to fend off the boys that’ll be chasing you soon.” Alex sighed and shook her head, annoyed at the thought of boys wanting to date her sister but knowing fully that it was inevitable.
“No!” Carly recoiled. “No way!”
“Yes way! Are you kidding me?” Alex leaned forward to emphasize what she was saying. “They’re going to go crazy for you. I’m sure they’re going crazy for you now.”
“No,” Carly replied meekly.
“I didn’t believe that ‘no’. Who is it? Who likes you? Spill it!” Alex demanded playfully. “I’ll get my bat now.”
Carly tossed her head back and giggled. “No, no! No need for the bat.”
“Who is it?” Alex took a dramatic step toward the closet.
“It’s Zach. Just Zach,” she squealed. Her smile was so broad her cheeks rounded completely.
“Zach!!! As in Zach Everly you’ve known since kindergarten? That Zach?” Alex’s eyes were wide and her voice had pitched up an octave.
Carly laughed so hard at Alex’s reaction all she could do was nod in agreement.
“Oh, my gosh!” Alex touched a hand to her forehead and began to pace theatrically. “Little Zachary Everly likes my sister. On the one hand I have to say he has good taste, but on the other I kind of want to kick the crap out of him. Is that wrong?”
Carly flopped onto Alex’s bed and keeled over. On her side and clutching her belly as a fit of laughter overtook her, she definitely resumed the behavior of a ten-year-old, a point Alex was thankful for.
“I’ll go ahead and take that as a ‘no’,” Alex said over the giggles. “And I am getting my bat out of the closet as soon as I get home tonight.”
Carly couldn’t speak. The laughter left her gasping. Alex thought she made out the word “no” and “don’t” and said, “Oh my gosh,” again. Pointing a finger at Carly, she playfully accused her. “You like him, don’t you! No, no, no!” Alex overstated each movement and each word for Carly’s benefit. “You like that he likes you. I’m getting the whole picture now!”
Carly continued to laugh. Alex couldn’t help herself and joined in. But when she felt her eyes begin to water from laughing so hard she had to force herself to stop. She didn’t want her mascara to run and have to redo it. Applying makeup wasn’t her forte to begin with as she seldom wore it. But tonight was different. She had a date with Brandon.
Brandon! She thought. A quick check of her phone informed her she had five minutes before he was slated to arrive to pick her up. She was sure her cheeks were likely red and splotchy from laughing so hard but she didn’t care. Laughter felt good. Laughter was one of the necessities of life. Hopefully Brandon wouldn’t notice.
“Carly, guess what?” Alex shook her sister’s shoulder.
“What?” Carly asked as she swiped away tears of laughter from the corners of her eye. She’d calmed to occasional giggles but wore an adorable grin.
“Brandon’s going to be here in five minutes.”
Her sister made a squeaking sound in excitement.
“How do I look? Is my face blotchy? Do I have raccoon eyes or smudged mascara?” Alex was more nervous than excited at this point.
“You look perfect,” Carly replied.
Alex cocked her head to one side. “Perfect? Come on, I’m serious!” She smiled so that her front teeth were on full display. “Anything in my teeth?” she said through them.
“Nope.” Carly shook her head.
“How do I smell?” Alex leaned forward.
Carly leaned in and sniffed. “Like coconut, vanilla and something else. Lime maybe?”
“Okay.” Alex stood a wrung her hands. “Guess I should grab my coat and wait by the door. I don’t want him ringing the bell and meeting mom.”
“Nooooo! That would be bad.” Carly shivered as if a spider had scuttled up her back. Then her eyes locked with Alex’s. “Be safe and have fun. You deserve it.” She smiled. It was a sweet smile that warmed Alex’s heart.
“I will.” Alex smiled in return and touched her index finger to the tip of her sister’s nose.
Her sister stood and hugged her. “I’m sure Brandon’s gonna go bananas for you. Then I’ll need the bat,” Carly said. Alex laughed and shook her head.
When Carly released her embrace, Alex grabbed her coat and threw it over her arm. “See you later, gator.”
“Toodaloo, kangaroo,” her sister replied before she slipped out of the room.
Alex smiled to herself and thought of the expression “toodaloo, kangaroo” as she snuck down the hallway as quickly and quietly as possible. Perhaps she’d call that out to her mother as she left. Nah, she thought. Mom wouldn’t get that either. With her mother in mind, she hurried. She didn’t want to run into her mother and she certainly didn’t want her near the door when Brandon got there. Luckily, she made it to the door just as headlights lit the driveway. She shouted, “Bye,” and bolted outside.