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Chapter 18

Alex

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STARING IN THE MIRROR, Alex hardly recognized the person reflected back at her.  Sure, the features were the same.  The exterior matched.  But what lurked beyond her haunted expression no longer resembled the person she’d always been. 

Leaning forward, she studied her face.  Absent were the dark circles she’d have expected to see, considering she’d been up all night and had slept all day.  Also absent was the wan complexion she should’ve had since she couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten.  Eaten food, that is.  And absent was a nauseated swirl in the pit of her gut at what she had fed upon. 

Stepping back away from the vanity, Alex’s hands flew to her mouth to stifle the scream that threatened to vault from her lungs.  She doubled over, recalling all that had transpired. 

She’d killed a man.  Feasted on his blood and drained him. 

Trembling fingers fell from her lips.  She looked down at them, turning them over and imagining they were coated in blood as they had been last night.  “Oh my gosh,” she gasped, the words reed-thin as they spilled from her. 

Her heart drilled a frantic rhythm in her chest and a sheen of cold sweat coated her body.  Smoothing the front of her hair off her face, Alex’s entire body shook.  She rested her hands on her head as the room spun in lopsided circles, certain she was losing her mind.  “This can’t be happening.  This can’t be real,” she whispered to herself.  “I couldn’t have done it.  I couldn’t have.”

Try as she may to convince herself that it hadn’t been real, the details of the night before had been indelibly etched into her memory.  Alex had fairly glided at the speed of thought.  Hers had been hunger-filled, bloodthirsty thoughts as she’d closed the distance between herself and a nameless man in a nameless neighborhood.  She’d descended on him with the vicious voracity of a panther, drawn to him by the scent of his blood.  Though the aroma had been different than Brandon’s and not as potent, the allure had been the same.  Tantalizing.  Mouthwatering.  She’d sank her teeth into the slender column of his throat, her razor-sharp canines piercing the tough layers of skin and burrowing until they’d nicked his carotid artery.  And then she’d tasted the first drop of blood.  One drop was all it had taken to bring out an instinct within her so base and so primal she struggled to imagine herself in the throes of it now.  But last night, she’d been mad with the taste of it.  But had it truly happened?  Or had it been an illusion her mind had produced?  Surely she couldn’t have done it. 

Looking in the mirror again, her eyes wandered to the worn sweatshirt she always slept in and an idea hit her.  If she’d done what her memory was insisting she had then it wouldn’t have been a neat ordeal.  There would be evidence of the attack she’d perpetrated splattered on the clothes she’d worn the night before. 

Racing out of her bathroom with unnatural speed and dexterity, she made it to her room in less than three seconds.  She moved to her dresser immediately and picked up her clothes.  She inspected them.  Please don’t let there be blood.  Please don’t let there be blood, she thought over and over again.  But before she saw the first droplet, she smelled it.  The coppery metallic stench that she should have smelled was replaced by a different one.  One that smelled vaguely of cinnamon and plum but with a slight hint of vanilla.  It reminded her of feasting.  On blood.  To her shock and dismay, the thought of it didn’t sicken her. It had quite the opposite effect, in fact.  It made her yearn for more. 

Dropping the clothes to the floor, she stepped away from them.  She wrapped her arms around her midsection as if physically holding herself together.  The fabric of her sanity was being clawed at.  Torn.  Who was she?  Or what was she?  She hungered for blood.  She’d fed on blood.  That, as far as she knew, could only make her one thing: a vampire.  But vampires were fictitious entities, beings that were once prevalent in folklore.  The legends of vampiric entities, while recounted for centuries and recorded in nearly every culture, had become nothing more than fodder for the entertainment industry.  Yet somehow, the word resonated within her, ringing with truth. 

Vampire. 

Her skin tingled, prickling with goosebumps and making her scalp shrink. 

No, no.  This can’t be.  I must be losing my mind, she thought.  Yet the proof, which supported the crystal-clear memories she retained, resided in a heap at her feet. 

Fleeing her room, she took refuge it the bathroom once again.  She closed the door and locked it, barricaded inside the confined, windowless space.  She paced for a moment, every cell inside her vibrating frenetically, before she moved to the bathtub and began filling it with water.  Though she doubted the warmth of a hot bath would do anything to ease the anguish pounding inside of her with every beat of her heart, she didn’t know what else to do.  She’d killed a man!  Drank his blood and still, no matter how much she tried to force herself to be sickened by the notion, all she could do was crave it more intensely.  No, a bath could never reconcile that.  She was a monster.  Vampire or human, she was a monster. 

Violent sobs racked her body.  Drowned by the sound of water rushing from the faucet, her cries came from a place of sudden but deep-seated loathing for whatever she was.  Murderer was the only appropriate designation.  Murderer.  She was a murderer of the sickest variety.  She hadn’t simply killed.  She’d fed on lifeblood. 

With her face wet from tears that ceaselessly fell from her eyes, she stripped out of her clothes and stepped inside.  On her way in the tub, however, her elbow grazed a handheld mirror hanging on a nail in the wall between the toilet and the bathtub.  Knocked from the nail, the round reflective glass crashed to the floor, fracturing in half and coming out of its plastic frame. 

“Dammit!” she said as small shards fell around the two larger pieces.  She didn’t bother getting out of the tub to pick it up, though.  She simply stared, entranced by the sharp, jagged edges.  In her head, of course she could hear her mother’s voice telling her she’d just earned seven years of bad luck.  But even her mother’s ridiculous superstitions couldn’t garner so much as a smirk from her.  Guilt and a profound sense of hopelessness had gripped her, tugging and pulling her toward a fathomless depth from which return seemed an impossibility. 

Yielding to it, she sat, leaning back until her body was submerged in water so hot it bordered on uncomfortable.  Her life was suddenly a swirling vortex of chaos and desperation, where the tide of who she was collided with who she used to be just days ago.  Her mind tried to in vain to fight it, to battle the maelstrom in which she was whirling, but it was no use.  She was a monster.  One that didn’t deserve to live.  Despondency seeped in, permeating her defenses and filling her lungs. 

Drowned by the flash flood of strong emotion, Alex reached her hand over the side of the nearly-full bathtub.  Without thinking, and feeling as though she didn’t have any other options, her left hand found a piece of the broken mirror.  She gripped it tightly and slashed her right wrist.  The cut burned with the rage of a thousand wildfires.  Still, she switched hands, the searing burn of pain blurring her vision momentarily, and cut her left wrist, as well. 

The wounds were short but deep channels that ran from right to left.  Bright-red blood pumped from the severed arteries in each wrist.  She closed her eyes, expecting the pain to mount and to drift off into oblivion.  But neither happened.  After what must’ve been several moments that had passed, she opened her eyes and examined her wrists.  All that was left of the lethal incisions she’d made were faint scratches. 

“What the—” she said aloud as she bolted upright and sent a splash of water cascading to the bathroom floor.

Alex rolled her wrist, turning them and inspecting both sides as realization snapped down the length of her spine and jolted her.  The bloody half of the mirror she’d used rested on the side of the tub and the water was tinted pink.  She knew she’d tried to take her life.  The evidence was there in her face.  She’d felt the pain.  Had the intention.  But her self-inflicted wounds were nowhere to be found.  They were gone.  Mysteriously healed. 

She sat for a moment, watching as ribbons of steam curled from the surface of the full tub of water in which she sat and wondering what the hell was going on.  How had the cuts healed?  How was it that only faint swirls of blood in the bathwater and the bloody glass remained as proof that she’d done it?  Questions were only answered by more questions.  The questions whirled ceaselessly.  They were a merry-go-round that was spinning out of control.  She had to stop it.  The only grounding factor was Carly.  What would have become of Carly had she succeeded at killing herself?  Her sister would’ve been scarred for life if she’d been the one to find Alex.  And chances are, she would’ve found Alex.  That thought was a force that caused the spinning to grind to a halt.  She was grateful she hadn’t been able to take her life.  She was grateful that she’d healed.  The one point that had eluded her during her abject misery had been Carly.  How selfish Alex had been!  She silently chastised herself and kept focusing on her sister long enough to drain the bath water and dry herself.  Once she’d cleaned the broken glass and gotten rid of anything that indicated blood had been spilled, she stepped into her worn sleep clothes, still using thoughts of her sister and anything normal she could cling to as a driving force.  She’d change as soon as she got to her room and maybe go out for a bit.  She’d slept all day and had missed work.  She needed to, at the very least, go in and offer an explanation.  And see if she still had a job. 

Carly and work.  That’s what she continued to think about as she left the bathroom and made her way down the hallway.  Carly had always been a stabilizing element in her life.  Looking out for her.  Worrying for her.  Trying to be the mother Laurie Lockhart never had been or ever would be to her.  And at the moment, Carly was what was keeping her anchored to sanity. 

As she slipped into a pair of leggings and a comfy top then inspected the boots she’d worn last night, the sound of voices echoed from the living room.  She heard her mother and Carly.  But she also heard another.  A male voice that was unfamiliar.  Halting and listening closely, Alex was able to hear the conversation down the hall as clearly as if it were taking place right beside her. 

“Oh you are a bad girl, Laurie!  I’m gonna have to spank you!” the male voice said in a slurred voice.

“I sure am!” her mother said and tried to sound seductive.  “And I think I’d like a spanking from you.”

“Gross,” she heard Carly mutter in a low voice before the volume of the television rose considerably.  Still, it didn’t drown out the sound of the voices. 

The man laughed.  It wasn’t a joyful sound.  Rather it was a slimy, grating sound that caused Alex to bolt from her room and storm down the hallway. 

As soon as she entered the room and stood glaring at her mother with her hands on her hips, Carly sprang to her feet and said, “Oh, Alex!  You’re not at work tonight!”  Alex could hear the relief in her sister’s voice. 

The man, clad in a button-down shirt that was opened all the way to reveal a grease-stained undershirt and a generous belly, looked her up and down.  His gaze hovered somewhere in the vicinity of her breasts and a grin carved his face.  “Well hello,” he said. 

Beer bottles littered the coffee table along with a bucket of fried chicken.  Alex’s gazed moved from it to her mother with a disapproving lift of her brow.  “Hi,” she replied to the man without making eye contact. 

Her mother smiled broadly.  Her eyelids were heavy and her gaze was unfocused.  She was drunk.  Alex had seen it enough times to recognize the signals.  The loser beside her who looked as if he should stay at least five-hundred feet away from any and all schools buildings was another telltale sign. 

“Alex, thisss iss Dale.”  Her mother struggled to keep from slurring.  A wasted effort as her words were so thickened by alcohol they blended into one, long, barely-intelligible word.  “Dale, thisss iss my other daughter Alesss.”  The “x” was missing entirely from her mother’s attempt to say her name.

Dale stood and wiped his hands down the front of his shirt, adding to the yellowed stains already present.  He leaned in toward her as if he was going to hug or kiss her as family would.  “Hi there.  Nice to meet you.”  When Alex recoiled, he settled on shoving a hand at her, which if she hadn’t moved fast enough, would’ve landed squarely against her left breast.  “Alesss.”  Dale blinked a few times and wavered on his feet as if he were about to lose his balance.  “You don get alotta that no more.”

“My name’s Alex.”  She enunciated the “x” this time.  “Not Alice.”

“Oh.”  His eyes widened exaggeratedly before returning to their original, droopy stupor.  “Whass that short for?”

Alex heaved a sigh.  She had no interest whatsoever in entertaining the drunken fool before her.  But Carly was there and she didn’t want to cause a scene.  Her sister had seen enough of those in her ten short years to last a lifetime.  “Alexandra.  No one calls me that and please don’t try to say it with what, nine beers in you?”

The man slid her a goofy smile.  “How’d ya know?  Laurie, is she psychic?  She’d good!” 

Alex rolled her eyes. 

“Nah, my baby’s not psychic.  Juss smart.  Like her mama.”  Her mother pointed her index finger, gesturing to her own temple. 

“Shees a smart one arrright.  And pretty, too.” Dale licked his lips and winked at her. 

“Ugh I think I’m going to be sick,” Alex curled her upper lip and said.

The meaning of what she’d said and the fact that it had been directed at him had been lost on Dale.  He frowned and looked as sympathetic as a drunken idiot can and said, “It happens to me, too.  Juss go throw up an have more beer and you’ll be arrright.” 

Carly giggled. 

Alex looked at her and they traded glances.  She looked back to Dale and said, “Nope, not drunk, just revolted.”

Dale was too busy looking at her chest to hear what she’d said.  All he did was nod absently. 

Drunk but still aware of the attention her friend was paying to Alex, her mother said, “Dale, why don’t you sit back down.  She’sss all padded up an’ ready to go out or sumthin.”  She cupped her breasts with both hands to punctuate her nonexistent point.

For a moment, Alex considered calling her mother out on her snarky comment, but reconsidered.  When it came to a battles of wits, her mother was unarmed.

In spite of her mother’s words, Dale remained, unmoving and transfixed.  Alex moved, stepping left toward where Carly sat.  Dale’s eyes followed her. 

“Dale,” her mother said in a much louder voice. 

Jerking, Dale turned toward her voice.  “Huh?”

“Why don you come sit with me?” her mother patted the couch cushion beside her. 

Dale looked from Alex to her mother.  “O-okay,” he replied hesitantly.  “But you’re gonna stay, right?”

Alex narrowed her eyes at him, but before she had a chance to say anything, her mother said, “Of course she’sss not stayin’ she’sss all whored up to go out an’ trick some poor boy into thinkin’ she’sss got more going’ on than she doesss.”  Her mother screwed up her features at her meanly as she gestured at Alex in a head-to-toe sweep.  Laurie Lockhart then tossed her head back and laughed.

Alex felt a tumultuous rise of anger spike within her. 

Dale looked bewildered.  “Well, I for one, hope she stays.  I dunno what all the tricking stuff isss about but I like Alesss.”  He raked his eyes up and down her body. 

The lustfulness of his gaze made Alex feel as if countless maggots were rolling over her bare skin.  “Actually, mom,” Alex said between her teeth as she barely harnessed her anger.  “I’m not whored up and I’m not going out to fool boys.  I’m actually taking Carly roller skating tonight.”

“You are?” Carly asked brightly.

“You are?” Dale asked.  His tone was disappointed and his shoulders slumped.

To Carly, Alex replied, “I sure am.  If you want to, of course.”  She knew her sister loved to roller skate.  She loved the twenty-minute drive to the rink, she loved the music and she loved the food there.  If she’d have said no, Alex would’ve been convinced she’d been thrust into some kind of alternate universe. 

“Thass too bad.  Ida liked to get to know you better,” Dale commented.  He stood and practically lunged at Alex, draping his arms around her and burying his head in the curve of her neck. 

“Okay, that’s enough,” she said and shoved him off of her.  He flew across over the coffee table and landed against the back of the couch.  But not before a strange, familiar scent tickled her senses.  Faint but present, cinnamon lingered in the air.  Drowned by the stink of sour mash and depravity, Dale’s neck had left a trail in its wake.  A mark that was uniquely his.  The scent of his blood.

Upset by the smell and the effect it was having on her, Alex barely heard her mother as she drunkenly lectured Alex for flinging her friend across the living room, admonishing her for her manners. Instead, she grabbed Carly by the hand and pulled her to the kitchen, where they put on their coats and fled the house. 

“That was...uh...wow,” Carly said as they walked toward Alex’s car. 

The air was cold but not nearly as cold as it had been recently and the navy sky was an endless sea of stars.  But a chill that had nothing to do with the weather had settled deep in Alex’s bones.  “Which part?” she asked with a nervous laugh. 

“Um, all of it.”  Carly turned to look at her.  “That guy was a jerk.  I can’t believe Mom brought him home.”

Alex stopped and raised both eyebrows.  “Really?  You really can’t believe Mom brought him home?”

“Okay, okay, I can believe it.” Carly shook her head and they resumed walking.  “But she should be more careful,” Carly said as she climbed into the front seat of Alex’s car.  “And she should’ve thrown him out for how he was acting with you.  The way he looked at you.”  Carly shuddered. 

“I agree with you.  You’re right.  I wish Mom would be more careful and make better decisions.”  Alex stuck her key in the ignition and turned it.  The engine whined and protested for a moment but then turned over. 

“And the nasty things she says to you...she should never say them.  You don’t say nasty things to her and you don’t dress the way she accused you of dressing.”

“Thanks,” Alex replied.  “I’m not a fan of the things she says to me either to be honest with you.”  She shifted the car into reverse and backed out of the driveway. 

“She had been drinking.  A lot.  I could smell it on her.”  Carly chewed her lower lip and stared at her hands folded in her lap. 

Alex shifted to drive and headed toward the roller skating rink.  But her ears pricked at something Carly had said.  “You could smell it on her?” Alex asked.  “What did you smell?”  If she’d smelled cinnamon, Alex would have trouble not sharing that she’d smelled the same scent.

“I don’t know.  It smelled nasty.  Like sour and nasty stuff oozing from her pores.”  Carly scrunched up her features.  “And Dale, too.  He smelled like sour, nasty stuff and BO.”

Alex laughed despite feeling alone in the ability to sniff out a hint of cinnamon.  If all that had happened last night had been real, which she sensed deep in the cavernous hollows of her being it had been, then the cinnamon scent was blood. And she was a vampire.

Panic began to overwhelm her.  Sweat gathered between her shoulder blades and slid to the small of her back yet the unrelenting cold that had set up camp within her froze her lungs.  Her body began to tremble.  What if she was a vampire?  What if the scent of Carly’s blood filled her and surrounded her as Brandon’s had?  What would she do then?  Leave?  She could never put her sister at risk.  But she’d promised long ago to never leave her. 

Alex’s breaths came in short, shallow pants and her vision began to waver in and out of focus.  If she didn’t calm herself soon, at worst, she’d crash the car.  At best, Carly would notice.  She didn’t want to crash the car.  That was for sure.  And Carly didn’t need something else to worry about.  Her life was difficult and complicated enough as it was.  So Alex breathed, focusing on the fact that if Carly’s blood was going to draw her it would have already.  In the tight confines of her small car and with the heater blasting full force, the scent would have been overwhelming.  Perhaps the fierce love she felt for her sister masked it.  Or maybe Alex was immune to it because they were related.  She didn’t have the answers.  She knew nothing of vampires and vampires’ families.  Only what she’d seen in the movies.  And in those instances, all had been vampires and all had been unrelated by blood.  They’d simply been a group who’d chosen to live as family.  Not helpful to her in the least. 

Distracting herself with thoughts of glittery vampires with glorious hair and simmering, brooding expression distracted her long enough to compose herself.  She didn’t know how she’d come about the information she so desperately needed but torturing herself now, in the car with her little sister, wasn’t going to help anything.  It wouldn’t answer the multitude of questions she had and it certainly wasn’t going to help Carly.  So she breathed.  And kept breathing until the tremor that had beset her body abated.  Heart rate steadied and vision returned to normal, she focused on Carly.  The evening that was ahead of them. 

“So was Dale the only reason you decided we were going roller skating tonight?” Carly surprised her by asking. 

“What? No!” Alex started but Carly turned and arched an eyebrow at her.  “Okay, maybe a little, but I’d been wanting to take you anyway since we haven’t gone in what, a month now?”

“I think so,” Carly replied.  “Last time we went, it was just before Christmas.  I remember they played holiday music and the place was decorated with lights.”

“That’s right.  It’s been too long,” Alex said.  “And I didn’t want to leave you there.”

“I don’t like when Mom is drunk and I really don’t like when she brings men home.” 

In her periphery, Alex could see that Carly’s head was down.  She reached across the console and gave her sister’s hand a squeeze.  “I never did either.  I still don’t.”  Silence stretched between them. 

Carly placed a hand atop their clasped hands.  She looked over at Alex.  “Thanks for getting me out of there.  That guy felt bad to me.”  She shook her head. “I hope he’s gone by the time we get home.”

Alex almost said exactly what she’d been thinking, which was “don’t count on it.”  But she stopped herself and said, “If he’s there, we can have a sleepover in my room,” instead with a casual bob of her shoulder. 

Carly spun, her eyes lit with excitement.  “Really?  You mean that?”

“Of course, I do!” Alex replied. 

“Yay,” Carly said and clapped her hands in front of her, just as she did when she was younger. 

Alex smiled, remembering her sister’s intense love of animated princess movies and all things that involved crowns, puffy dresses and dramatic play as she passed the drive-in movie theater.  Closed for the winter, the giant screen and the snow-covered lot surrounding it looked forlorn.  In time, however, the snow would melt, the ground would thaw, and spring would give way to summer.  The lot would be grassy and cars would fill it once the sun set.  “Hey this summer we need to hit the drive-in theater, too.”

“Yes!  Oh my gosh, remember the first movie I saw there, Charlotte’s Web?” Carly said excitedly.

“How could I forget?” Alex replied.  Images of her sister’s tear-filled eyes filled her mind.  “You were in first grade.”

“Yep, and Mom had thought it’d be a great family movie to see.”  Carly shook her head.  “I cried my eyes out.” 

And Mom had disappeared during the opening credits and didn’t come home that night, Alex thought.  “You were inconsolable.”

“It was horrible.  I mean, it was a great movie and I read the book in school a couple of years ago.  But I was upset!”

“Don’t feel bad.  I cried a little during that movie, too.  And I was sixteen!”  Alex said as she pulled into the packed parking lot of Roller Magic.  “Wow.”  Alex looked around.  Not a single empty spot could be found.  “I guess I’m parking at the diner next door.”  She circled the lot and cut through a small path to a neighboring restaurant parking lot.  She found a spot and parked.  They exited the car and walked to the roller rink.  Once inside, Alex bought their tickets and they headed over to the skate rental window.  “No wonder the parking lot is full.  This place is packed!”

“I know!  I’ve never seen it like this,” Carly marveled as her gaze swept the arcade area past the entrance.  “The tables were full and a line snaked around velvet ropes set up near the concession stand.  “Think we’ll be able to get skates?”

“Definitely.  We may be wearing children’s roller skates six sizes too small for our feet, but we’ll get skates.”  Alex winked and smiled at her sister then asked, “Did you eat with Mom and Dale?  Are you hungry?” 

“No.  I was too nervous to really eat with them the way they were acting.”

“That’s understandable,” Alex wrapped an arm around Carly’s shoulders, noticing that heads continually turned in their direction.  The stares were so numerous and pronounced, Alex began to feel uncomfortable.

“I’m a little hungry,” Carly said and snapped Alex’s attention back to her. 

“Do you want to eat now?” Alex asked but Carly’s eyes were on the rink, not the concession stand.

“Nah, I’d rather take a few laps then eat.”

“You just want to see me try to carry a tray with food and soda on it to a table in roller skates,” Alex joked. 

“There’s that, too!” Carly smiled impishly. 

“Oh really?” Alex gave her sister a light hip check, which made her giggle. 

Carly bumped her back and said, “Really!” with playful defiance.  “What’re you going to do about it?”

“I’m going to...skate far worse than you on the rink and likely make a fool of myself,” Alex stunned her by replying with brutal honesty.

“I doubt you could look anything but gorgeous,” a voice said in front of them. 

Alex looked up and found a pair of bright blue eyes staring straight into hers.  He was behind the counter at the skate rental window.  “Uh, thanks,” she replied with disinterest.  “She needs a size five and I need a seven please.”

“I’m Jeff, by the way,” the man behind the counter said.  She could hear the pound of his blood against his skin.  And smell it.  The scent of cinnamon wafted from him along with an odd odor that reminded her of patchouli.  It wasn’t a particularly inviting combination but it enticed her nevertheless.  She needed to get away from him as quickly as possible for his own good. 

“Great.”  She forced a tight smile that didn’t reach her eyes. 

Despite her behavior, which bordered on rude in its level of disinterest, Jeff continued to moon over her.  “I haven’t seen you here before.  Are you new to the area?” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the counter and not moving to get their roller skates. 

His closeness made his scent more prominent.  Well-defined and filling her nostrils, notes of bergamot orange, patchouli and cinnamon overtook her.  She turned and walked away from the counter for a moment.

“Alex, are you okay?” her sister followed after her and asked.

“I’m fine,” she lied.  “Just a little, I don’t know, nauseous or something.”

Carly looked at her worriedly.

“I’m fine, Carly, I promise.  I just got a little hot and nauseous all of a sudden.  Not sure why.”  She didn’t dare tell her that she could smell every alluring note in Jeff’s lifeblood.  Hear the rhythmic flow of it as it pumped through his body. 

“You’re not...I mean, you don’t think you’re...” Carly started as a faint blush crept across her cheeks. 

“Pregnant?” Alex asked a bit louder than she’d have liked.  Carly offered an almost imperceptible shrug.  “No!  I most certainly am not!”

“Okay, okay.  I didn’t think so and I’m sorry for asking.  I should’ve known better—” 

“No.  No, it’s okay.  I’m not mad.”  What else would Carly think?  Growing up as Laurie Lockhart’s daughter would lead her to wonder such a thing about her twenty-year-old sister.  In fact, to an outsider, it would be expected of Alex to be having sex and get herself pregnant at twenty.

Carly was wringing her hands. 

Alex reached out and drew her into a hug.  “I’m seriously not mad.  You did nothing wrong.” She kissed the top of her sister’s head.  “But for the record and for future reference, I don’t even have a boyfriend.  I work and go to school.  That’s it.” 

“I know.  I should’ve known better.”  She squeezed her eyes shut and couldn’t mask her embarrassment. 

“Let’s just forget about it and skate, deal?” Alex waggled her eyebrows.

“Deal.” Carly nodded.

“Now go to the counter and get our skates because whatever cologne Jeff is wearing is making me sick I think.”

“Cologne?” Carly screwed up her features.  “I didn’t smell anything.”

Pausing, Alex fanned a hand in front of her face as if dismissing what she’d said seconds earlier.  “Oh, did I say cologne?  I meant to say spray.  The spray used on the uh, the inside of the skates.”

Carly looked at her curiously then said, “Oh, yeah, I get it.  It does smell pretty gross.  I’ll go to the counter and get them, no problem. Just give me your boots.”  Alex unzipped her boots and handed them over to Carly.  Carly then turned on her heels and marched over to the counter.  Moments later, she returned with two pairs of skates, size seven and size five.

“Thank you,” Alex told Carly.

“My pleasure,” Carly replied.

They stepped into their roller skates and laced them up then made their way to the rink. A disco ball twirled at the center of the large, oval space and a live DJ played “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough” by Michael Jackson.  Alex stayed close to the wall while Carly roller skated to her left, spinning and skating backward every now and again.  Groups of girls whizzed by them, laughing and calling out to each other.  Nearly every guy that passed slowed to look at Alex.  The looks ranged from brazen to goofy to awestruck to a parent there with his son who gawked at her downright creepily. 

After about seven passes around the rink and enough looks to last her a lifetime, Alex was about to scream.  She decided it was time to take a break.

“Hey, Carly!  Let’s get you something to eat,” she suggested.  Carly’s smile was so wide and so broad as she bopped and mouthed the words to a Taylor Swift song, Alex felt guilty for making her get off the rink.

“It’s like you read my mind!  I’m starving!” 

Alex gave a silent sigh of relief.  “Okay, great.  We can get off the rink right there.”  She pointed to the nearest break along the wall. As she did, Carly lost her footing and began to fall backward.  Alex immediately reached out and hooked her arm around her sister’s waist, preventing her from falling with strength and speed that, foreign at first, she was growing fond of. 

“Nice save,” a deep voice rumbled from behind her. 

Alex turned to see a man around her age.  Tall and strapping, his dark eyes danced with laughter as they met hers for just a moment.  But inexplicably, she couldn’t shake the idea that they laughed at her.  His gaze didn’t linger on her as others had, however.  To the contrary, he’d said what he’d said offhandedly, scratched the jet-black scruff of his chin and continued along. 

“Yeah really, Alex.  Nice save!  I would’ve fallen and made a fool of myself if you hadn’t caught me,” Carly said as she made her way closer to the wall in front of Alex. 

“Thanks,” Alex replied.  They rolled off the rink and onto a carpeted stretch of flooring that slowed their movement.  Alex crept up beside Carly and added, “By the way, if you’d have fallen, you wouldn’t have made a fool of yourself.  Everybody falls.”

“Yeah, I know but people would’ve seen me and thought I was an idiot.”

“Did you hear what I just said?  Everyone falls and if someone laughs at you it’s because they’re a jerk.  Right?”

“I suppose so.” Carly gnawed her lower lip.

“I know so.  We all fall.  Whether it’s roller skating, running, or falling in other ways, like bombing a test or messing up at work, we all fall.  But we get up.” Alex shrugged.

Carly’s eyes linked with hers.  She nodded contemplatively. 

“We get up, dust off our butts and keep on skating,” Alex said and elbowed her sister playfully.

Carly smiled. 

“So enough with that.  Let’s talk about important stuff, like what you’re eating tonight.”  Alex clipped her chin toward the list above the concession stand.  “You’ve got pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, cheese fries, chicken fingers,” she began rattling off her sister’s favorites.  “But don’t make a decision quickly.  This is serious business.  You need to choose wisely.”

Carly laughed.  “You’re so funny.”  She studied the board.  The line snaked slowly.  “Well you always share what you order so that helps.  Whatever you get, I know I’ll get at least half.”

“Whoa, whoa, now who said I’m not ravenously hungry tonight and plan to eat all of my food?”  Alex teased.  “Or what if I want a kale salad?”

Whipping her head around and narrowing her eyes at Alex, Carly deadpanned, “Nobody wants kale salad.”

Alex laughed out loud.  “Fair enough.”  She scanned the list again.  “They don’t make kale salads here anyway.”

“Shocking,” Carly said flatly.  Alex laughed again.  “I’m going to get the chicken fingers because they come with fries.”

“Good choice.” Alex bobbed her head.

“And I’m hoping you’ll get the pizza.  Let’s face it, you never finish it so I won’t feel one bit bad finishing it for you.”

“Of course not.  Really you’ll be helping me, right?”

“I do love to help you, sis.”  Carly placed her head on Alex’s shoulder and looked up at her, batting her eyes exaggeratedly. 

“You’re too much.”  Alex rolled her eyes.  “Fine.  Pizza it is.  What am I drinking?  Have you worked that detail out yet?”

“Hmm,” Carly tapped her index finger to her lips.  “Dr. Pepper.”

Carly started to explain why, but Alex interrupted her.  “Wait, let me guess.  Let me see if I get this one.  You’ll get Sprite because the caffeine in Dr. Pepper keeps you up.  But you love Dr. Pepper.  If I get Dr. Pepper, you can still take a few sips of mine and not overload on the caffeine.  Is that right?”

Carly clapped her hands.  “Very good!” she squealed.  “We’re some team!”

“Yes we are,” Alex said just before they reached the order window.  She told the woman there what they wanted and when their food was ready, they found a seat.  Beside them was a trio of guys, one of whom had made the “nice save” comment.  While all the others seemed to be tripping over themselves as they gawked at her, the three seated beside her didn’t seem the least bit interested.  She was grateful.  She didn’t know how she’d have reacted if they’d tried to strike up a conversation while she attempted to choke down the pizza before her.  Pizza of any kind had always been a favorite of hers.  For some reason, tonight, the scent and sight of it made her stomach churn.  Maybe it was the woodsy, pine and musk fragrance wafting from the three next to her.  Thankfully it didn’t meld with cinnamon and make her mouth water.  The woodsy, pine and musk scent combined with the overwhelming stink of food tamped down any and all cinnamon notes, another point for which she was grateful. 

“What’s the matter?  You aren’t in the mood for pizza?” Carly asked as she chewed a French fry. 

“Not really,” Alex answered honestly. 

One of the guys beside her turned toward her briefly, as if her lack of appetite was of interest to him. 

“Are you feeling okay?  I hope I didn’t force you to order something you didn’t want.”  Carly’s brows gathered.

“I’m okay.  I promise.  Just the mix of food in here is bothering me.  The heat and the smell I guess.  I don’t know.  It’s making me nauseous.”  Alex wasn’t lying.  She just chose to leave out the part where she may or may not need food to sustain her any longer. 

“Oh.”  Carly looked down.  “Do you want to leave?”

“No way!” Alex replied.

Carly brightened. 

“Now eat up.  Feel free to devour my pizza and then we can get back out on the rink before the session ends.”  Alex winked and smiled at her sister.

Carly obliged, shocking Alex with how much she was able to eat and drink and still manage to be a wisp of a girl.  They threw out their trash and returned to the rink.  Music and the whoosh of air was a refreshing change.  They made innumerable laps and saw a blur of faces.  The ones that stuck out, however, belonged to the guys who’d sat beside them when Carly had eaten.  One was clearly the oldest, around twenty.  The other two were younger.  Likely sixteen and fourteen.  But all of them were tall and broad through their chests.  And all of them exuded masculinity.  Even the younger boys.  They radiated a cockiness unlike any Alex had ever seen before.  It flowed from them in waves and seemed to hover around them.  They bore striking resemblances to one another, not only in their towering, hulking builds but in their thick, sable hair, dark eyes and bronze skin.  Every move they made was similar.  Quick and confident, each stride and turn they took in their inline skates was agile.  Though there were only three of them, they pursued and challenged each other, loving the attention they received and exerting themselves as if they were a pack without an alpha, each of them vying for dominance.  Alex couldn’t pinpoint why, but while a part of her admired their nimbleness and that they essentially ignored her, an unnamed part of her also sought to repel them.  She shook her head and chose to ignore them just as an announcement sounded over the speakers that their session was ending. 

Turning to face her, Carly exclaimed, “This was so fun!  Best night in a long time!”

“No argument here,” Alex relied.  “We’ll do it again soon, I promise.”

Carly didn’t respond verbally.  She didn’t need to.  The sparkle in her eyes and the grin on her face were enough to communicate that she couldn’t wait.  She wore that thrilled expression as they turned in their roller skates and were given back their shoes and as they crossed the rink parking lot to the diner lot.  Alex unlocked the doors and they climbed inside.  But when she tried to start the car, the engine wouldn’t turn over.  It didn’t whine or protest.  She turned the key and there was silence.

“Well this is just great,” Alex fumed. 

“What is it?” Carly asked.

“Something new!” She threw her head back so that it tapped the headrest.  “Usually the engine groans and whines.  It makes a noise of some sort.  But this,” she tried turning the key again.  “This whole no-sound thing is brand new!”

“What do we do now?” Carly asked worriedly.

“I guess I’ll call a cab.”  She pulled out her phone but decided to check her funds before calling a cab company.  She hadn’t warmed to the idea of calling an Uber just yet so a local cab company would be the route she’d take.  That is, if she had money.  Which she didn’t.  Between the open-skate session fee, skate rental fee and the food, all she had left in her wallet was three dollars and a single credit card that was maxed out.  “Or not.”

“What?  Why?  Why not call a cab?” Carly asked.

“I’m out of cash.  Can’t even use my ATM card to take out money because I paid my spring tuition and have like seven dollars in there.”  She blew out a loud breath and unleased a string of curse words in her head.  “I’ll try to start the car again and if it doesn’t work, I guess I’ll try Lou.”  Her mother was likely inebriated or sleeping off her inebriation.  Either way, she wasn’t an option.  Alex doubted she’d come pick them up if she were sober.  Lou was the closest thing she had to family and if he was working, his shift would be ending soon.  But was he mad at her?  She hadn’t seen him since the night of the attack.  And she hadn’t been back to work since.  Maybe Lou wasn’t even an option.  She prayed her car would start as she turned the key in the ignition. 

The engine didn’t turn over. 

“Crap,” Alex muttered as she leaned her forehead against the steering wheel.  But a peck at the window caused her to snap her head up and turn toward the sound. 

Dark eyes stared at her.  “Need a ride?” the guy from the roller rink asked.  Somehow, the shadow of his beard looked thicker and darker than it had just a little while ago.  He ran a hand through his thick raven hair.  The boys she guessed were his younger brothers flanked him. 

Alex rolled down the window.  “Uh, I’m not sure.  My car has an attitude and only starts when it’s in the mood,” she smiled and tried to joke. 

The man didn’t smile at first, but after a slight pause, hearty laughter echoed from him.  “That’s unfortunate.  I had a car like that once myself.”  He looked at each of his brothers.  “Try it again and let me take a listen.”

Alex turned the key.  It didn’t make a sound.

“That’s not good.”  He shook his head.  “It’s happened to me before.”

Alex had thought he knew how to fix it and would offer.  He clearly didn’t and hadn’t. 

“So, you can wait here for a tow truck or an Uber or whatever, or I can give you a lift.”

She wanted to say, “I don’t even know you!  You could be Charles Manson!” but even if he were Charles Manson—if all three were—she felt confident she could protect Carly and herself.  Heck, she’d tossed Dale, a hefty man far larger than she, across the room as if he were a rag doll.  Though tall, two of these guys were teenagers and likely star baseball players, hence the agility and cockiness.  And the oldest seemed like a tool.  The possibilities of what he did with his time were endless.  Tools took up a large percentage of the population.  Regardless, after what she’d done to Dale and the events of the last few nights, coupled with the glaring fact that she didn’t have any other real option, Alex considered his offer for a split second.

“What do you think?” Alex turned to Carly and whispered. 

“Absolutely not!” Carly gaped.  “Are you kidding me?”

“Okay, okay.  That’s what I thought.”

“So?” the man said.  “I’m Derek by the way.  And that’s Ryan and Tom.” He pointed to the other two. 

“I’m Alex.”

“And I’m stunned!  What the heck, Alex?  How could you even consider taking a ride from him?” Carly nearly shouted.

Derek leaned down and looked at Carly.  “I totally understand your concern.  Keep your phone set to 9-1-1 with your finger poised over the send button if you want.”

“Yeah, fat lot of good that’ll do me if I’m dead!” she snapped at Derek.  Then to Alex she said, “Have you lost your mind?”

Alex must have if she’d considered taking a ride from three strangers.  “You’re right, Carly.  I wasn’t thinking.”  To Derek, she said, “Thanks for offering, but we’ll figure something out.”

Derek held Alex’s gaze for several beats.  All the while the small muscles around his jaw bunched and flexed.  “Suit yourselves,” he said finally, then turned and walked away with his brothers. 

Alone again and with the window rolled up, Alex turned her body toward Carly.  “I’m sorry about all that.  You were one hundred percent right to have reacted the way you did.”

“You’re not mad at me?” Carly asked.

“Mad?  Are you kidding me?” Alex leaned in and said.  “You were the voice of reason!  And you’re only ten!  I don’t know what the heck I was thinking.”  Alex slapped a hand to her forehead.  “I panicked I guess,” she admitted.  “I have no cash, a maxed out credit card and an empty checking account.  I have no idea how we’re going to get home.”  The words came from her in rush that left Carly momentarily speechless. 

“Oh,” was all she said and began wringing her hands.  “I didn’t know all that.”

“Sorry.”  Alex closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. 

“I’d rather walk than get in the car with strangers, so it doesn’t matter.”

“I agree.  You’re right.  And smart.”  Alex opened her eyes and stared at Carly.  “Looks like walking is what we’ll be doing if I can’t get us a ride.”  She sighed.  “I’m going to call Lou.”  She tried Lou’s cell.  It rang and rang before her call went to voicemail.  She tried two more times.  Both went to voicemail.  “Lou’s not answering his phone.  I’ll call the diner and see if Nicole can get him.”  In her head, she worried her calls wouldn’t be well received.  She’d skipped out on work, a move she’d have disapproved of just a week ago.  Before everything had happened.  Before she’d...changed.  After four rings, Nicole’s voice answered.  Alex lied and told Nicole she’d been sick with the flu, flat on her back and out of commission.  Since she’d never done anything like that, and had never called in sick—let alone flaked out and not shown up—Nicole was extremely sympathetic and assured her she’d get someone to cover Lou.  Surprisingly, Nicole didn’t ask why Alex was out if she had the flu.  She simply promised she’d send Lou as soon as she had coverage for him in the kitchen.  After thanking Nicole and ending their call, Alex looked at Carly.  “Lou should be here in fifteen minutes.”

Carly smiled and nodded.  She said nothing of the lie Alex had told.  Alex was thankful for that.  It hadn’t been her proudest moment.  That was for sure.  “Good.  It’s cold and getting late and the idea of walking home sounds awful.”

“I know.  It really does.  And I’m sorry this happened.  The night was going so well.” She gnawed her lower lip and considered her words carefully.  “I never want to let you down.  I never want to disappoint you.  You know?”

“I know, Alex.  But you don’t have to worry.”

“Yes.  Yes I do.”  Visions of her mother and the likes of Dale and the parade of losers that were never in shortage for her to march through their home flashed in her mind’s eye.  Her mother’s hurtful words echoed in her ears, as well.  Yes, disappointment was a common occurrence.  She vowed long ago to safeguard Carly from as much of it as she could.  “So me screwing things up and not having money for a cab...that’s on me.  That’s my fault.  And I’m sorry.  I’m really sorry.  I hope you can forgive me.”

“Forgive you?  You’re the best sister anyone could ever have.  You don’t need to apologize.”  She reached forward and threw her arms around Alex. 

As close as Carly was to her, Alex had a moment of panic.  She worried the same urge she’d had when close to Brandon would plague her again.  But it didn’t.  The moment passed as quickly as it had come.  Of course she could resist the scent of cinnamon and vanilla and apples—the strong scent of her sister’s lifeblood.  Carly was her sister.  Her flesh and blood.  Carly was the person she lived for, no matter what she was or had become.  She knew she had and would always have an iron clad resolve and reserve of self-control.  “Love you,” she whispered into Carly’s hair. 

“Love you, too,” Carly replied. 

As far as Alex was concerned, the moment in which they exited was perfect.  The cold. The fact that her car was dead and probably for the last time. The fact that she was broke at the moment and had lied her butt off to people she respected and worked for.  None of it mattered in the seconds her sister’s head leaned on her shoulder.  All of it would be dealt with.  All of it would wait for her.  For now, she’d enjoy the pure happiness she was feeling.