SEVEN

I’m in gym when Cate calls. Even though I’ve been excused for the day, Coach Marks, the PE teacher, insists on making me change clothes. It’s a dick move on his part, but whatever. A lot of people don’t like me on account of what my sister did and I can’t do anything to fix that. So this is the reason I’m sitting in the corner, alone, squeezed into a pair of green athletic shorts and a white Sayrebrook Academy shirt that’s at least two sizes too small, while everyone else does Pilates on the yoga room floor. Pilates. It probably comes as no surprise that sports aren’t really my thing, so gym clothes or not, I just thank God I’m not having to flop around on a faded foam exercise mat, showing off my lack of core strength or something.

I sneak a glance at my phone once the class is done with warm-ups. I’m hoping to see a message from Jenny, although I know it’s unlikely. She’s got this thing about texting at school that I’m trying not to take personally. Some promise she’s made to her mom. I tell her I understand, but the truth is, I don’t. Not really.

That’s when I see it. Not a text: a voice mail. From an unlisted number. My ringer’s off, which is how I missed the call, but deep down, I sort of expected this. That’s part of fate or karma or kismet, isn’t it? Getting what you deserve.

Well, I definitely deserve this.

Hey, Jamie babe. I know you know who this is. I know you know other things, too. So maybe it won’t come as a surprise when I tell you I’ll be coming back to Danville soon and that the person I want to see most is you. Then again, I’ve been wrong before, haven’t I? So why don’t you go ahead and consider this fair warning …

“Hey! Hey!”

Someone’s yelling at me and I can’t answer them. I can’t answer because I’m standing in the locker room with my head stuck beneath the sink faucet and my heart’s pounding so fast it feels like a runaway truck. It feels like my brakes have gone out. It feels like—

Like I can’t breathe.

“Jamie, hey! You all right, man?”

Water is pouring down the back of my neck, my shirt.

Someone shakes me.

“Hey!”

Whoever it is shakes harder, then grabs onto my collar. I’m yanked upright. My hair’s matted flat. Water streams into my eyes.

“I’m fine!” I gasp. “Seriously.”

I blink until I can see. Nick Hsu, a senior, is holding me at arm’s length. His face reflects irritation. Confusion, too, along with a good helping of contempt. I’ve seen it all before, though. Nick’s not the first person to look at me that way.

I take a deep breath. Feel my heartbeat start to slow. I’ve had plenty of panic attacks before, but this was different. This one was bad. My hands are tingling like crazy, but they haven’t gone numb, which is a relief. I couldn’t deal with the paralysis again so soon.

“You sure you’re okay?” Nick releases me and takes a step backward. “You ran out of that gym like your ass was on fire. Coach made me come see what’s up.”

“Yeah. Sorry. I’m okay now.”

“Well, here you go.” He holds something out.

It’s my phone. I take it from him and that’s when it comes back to me. Sort of. I still don’t remember getting from the gym to the locker room, but I do remember what it was that set off my anxiety. It wasn’t Cate’s voice. It was her words.

Her threat.

“Thanks,” I say, but I feel sick all over again.

Cate’s coming back to Danville.

For me.