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Harley closed her laptop. The coffee shop was quiet, not many folks getting their caffeine fix this late in the day. She had been working on her paper since noon and it was finally finished. She drank the rest of her coffee and considered another.
She grabbed her phone and pulled up the UBER app to see how long it would be to get a driver. An hour. That would definitely require another coffee. Before she could sign up, a familiar voice startled her.
“Need a ride?”
She looked up to see Spencer standing beside the table, grinning. “Hey, Spence. Coffee craving?” she asked.
“Something like that.” The barista called his name. “Hold that thought.”
Spencer grabbed his drink then quickly returned to her table.
“You want to sit?” she nodded to the empty chair.
“Nah, but if you’re thinking about calling a driver, I’d be happy to take you home,” he smiled. “I’d hate to have you sitting here for an hour when my SUV is right outside.”
She smirked at Spencer, who had obviously been looking at her phone. “Yeah, sounds good.”
“Nice. Well, I’m ready whenever you are.” His usual cocky smile graced his lips as he stared at her.
The air between them was still awkward after the incident in her kitchen, at least she thought so. Add to that the fact that she couldn’t stop thinking about that moment.
“Let’s go then,” she said with a nod.
The drive home started out incredibly quiet. It was like neither of them knew exactly what to say. Until his favorite song came on the radio. Spencer turned up the volume and sang along to that song and then continued until they parked outside of her apartment.
She opened her door and hopped out of the vehicle. Before she could hit the ground, Spencer was there at her side, ready to help her. He grabbed her bag and held out his hand to her.
“Thanks.” She happily took his hand, because falling on the slick walkway was not high on her to-do list.
“So, my parents really liked you,” he nervously admitted.
“Really? That’s sweet. I really liked them too,” she said as they walked toward the front steps.
“My mom raised two boys, obviously, and I always felt like she wished she had a girl to pass on all her wisdom to,” he said, keeping his attention on the walkway.
“She could pass it on to you guys?”
“It’s not the same,” he quickly answered.
“Well, does she invite every girl you guys bring to dinner over to bake with her?” Harley asked, figuring that his mom did just to be polite.
His quick words surprised her. “Actually, no. You and Lily are the first. Her kitchen is her escape. Sure she has taught us a thing or two about baking, but I think it’s different passing on your knowledge to someone who can really appreciate it. And she must see that in you and Lily, or she wouldn’t have offered.”
Before she could respond, Harley hit a slick spot and lost her balance.
She grabbed on to Spencer’s jacket to steady herself. The last thing she wanted to do was faceplant in the snow. She faltered before he looped one arm around her keeping her from falling to the ground.
“Easy there!” he chuckled as he held her close, his hot breath showing in the cold winter air.
But the laughter was not reflecting in his eyes. Instead his gorgeous dark eyes were intense, and he watched her with a hunger, and she liked it. His stare sent chills through her, and it wasn’t from the cold weather.
He held her close, their faces only inches apart. She stared into his deep brown eyes, and she found herself under their spell and unable to move. The same brown eyes that she avoided getting too caught up in any time she was around him.
A car drove by, diverting his attention and shaking her out of the trance. “We should get inside, it’s cold out here,” she said.
As they entered her apartment, she welcomed the warmth. It gave her a moment to breathe and try to regain her composure. She shook off her jacket and hung it up on the coat rack.
Turning to him, she asked, “Do you want to sit? I can get you something to drink–” But she ended up turning right into his arms.
Not sure if it was by accident or he was there on purpose, she didn’t really care.
Face to face, in his arms, her body hummed for him to kiss her. He bent his head down toward hers, and as he moved to kiss her, she considered pulling away. Her brain gave the order, but her body didn’t listen. Everything was wrong, and yet so right.
She was wrapped up in his embrace and wanted to be no place else.
Her eyes dropped to his lips. She could feel his breath on her face, and her body ached for him.
Closing the space between them, their lips met. Spencer’s lips moved against hers soft and sweetly. He deepened the kiss as she returned his passion. His cologne teased her nose as she wrapped her arms around him.
Snapping back to reality, Harley gulped for air as she backed up two steps. She felt like she had just come up from underwater and couldn’t take in enough oxygen to appease her lungs.
Staring at him, nothing made sense. Her brain spun and she couldn’t catch her breath.
What did she just do?
She shook her head, not knowing what just came over her, but she just messed up big time. “Woah...that was–”
Spencer took a half step back and scrubbed his hand along the back of his neck as frustration filled his now red face. “Harley, I–”
“No explanation needed.” She laughed it off to cover up her confusion. She was with Isaac, and that was a mistake. A mistake that felt more right than anything she’d done in a long time.
Spencer wasn’t laughing. “Harley, I don’t know a suave way to do this, so I’m just going to say it. I’ve fallen for you. And before you can say you have a boyfriend, I know that. And I apologize for making that messy. But Isaac doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
Instinctively she went on the defensive. Perhaps it was how right the kiss felt, or how much she enjoyed it. Regardless, it was still wrong. “We’re friends, and I cherish that relationship.”
She didn’t completely believe her own words, since her body was still tingling from their amazing and sensual kiss. But she also didn’t want to lose their friendship. As much of a crush she had on him, he wasn’t what she needed. She required stability and that was the one thing he was not.
“And plenty of couples start out as friends,” he persisted, a pained look on his face.
“Spencer,” she picked her words carefully. “I just don’t feel that way about you.”
That was a total lie, she knew it and he knew it.
“I don’t believe you,” Spencer demanded. “Can you really tell me you feel that way about Mr. Lame?”
“Spence, please don’t call him that. And yes, Isaac has a plan for our future.”
“You and this plan! You can’t even tell this man, that you supposedly have feelings for, that you want to stay in school instead of graduate and jump into the workforce. What kind of a relationship is that? Isn’t honesty the backbone of a relationship?”
His words took her aback, never realizing Spencer felt so strongly. “It is really none of your business, Spencer. We have a fine relationship.”
He chuckled. “Right. You mean security. You love him for the stability he can give you. The family life that you hold in such high regard.” He shook his head with a forced laugh. “I hope that stability keeps you warm while he’s working every weekend.”
She shrugged with no words. He was right, but she lived her entire life without a stable home life. She watched other people with a real family while she sat alone, the only attention she got from her dad was deposits in her bank account. She deserved a real family with love and security. And Isaac could give her at least two out of three. “Isaac has a plan.” She tried to explain, even though her head told her she had no reason to. But she couldn’t help herself.
“Yeah, I know. White picket fence, and two point five children—whatever that means. Every little girl’s childhood dream. But you can do so much better. Look at yourself, you already have. You are slated to graduate with honors, then you’re going to get your master’s degree, and you’ll have your pick at employers when the time is right. They’ll be knocking down your door. And you are doing that all on your own. Isaac doesn’t get credit for any of that.”
He wasn’t wrong. And he knew she was going back for her degree, and never once tried to talk her out of it. Quite the opposite actually, he was very supportive. She pushed her hair back behind her ear. Her relationship with Spencer was so different than with Isaac. Spencer saw her in real time, her accomplishments and what laid in front of her. Isaac only saw the big picture, what their lives looked like in a neat little box, possibly from 1984.
Her stomach hurt at the consideration that she wasn’t ready for all the commitment that Isaac was planning.
“Tell me, Harley, do you even love him?” His words were harsh and hurtful.
She let out a sharp breath. This is exactly where she didn’t want to end up with Spencer. She couldn’t imagine her life without him in it. But her relationship was none of his business. She also had no idea why the words fell out of her mouth in the order they did. “Isaac is a very accomplished businessman. He’s a good man and he is good for me. Spence, I do care about you, but I don’t have to qualify my relationship to you.”
Spencer glared at her. “I think you just did.”
“And what do you know about love?” Her words came out of her mouth before she could think about them. She sucked in a gulp of air, horrified at how nasty they sounded. They were harsh, and she couldn’t take them back. Apologetic, she pleaded, “Spencer, I–”
He held up his hand, “Please don’t. Yes, I like the ladies. And if that makes me a bad person in your eyes, then I should be the one apologizing.”
“No,” she back peddled. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just...Spence, you live in the moment, and that’s just not...”
“It is more than apparent that the kiss was a mistake. And I apologize.”
His words cut her like a knife. Spencer was everything she loved but nothing she needed, and this was tearing her heart in half. Why couldn’t he have left well enough alone? Now look at them. Their friendship that she cherished was hanging by a thread.
Spencer took a breath and looked her in the eye. A complacent grin slid across his lips. “I might be a little irresponsible, but I have fun, and you can’t deny that. We always had fun.”
He wasn’t wrong. She always had so much fun with him, even doing the lamest things. It was something she never experienced with Isaac. Still, she shook off his words. “I have to think of my future...That’s just not for me.”
He chuckled. “Yeah? Fun isn’t for you? Wow. You really are perfect for Mr. Lame.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” His words hit her right in the heart. They hurt in a way she never imagined she could.
“I’ll see you later, Har.” Spencer left without another word.
As she watched him walk away, a knot formed in her gut. He wasn’t right, she wasn’t boring like he implied.
Harley knew the dangers of getting too close with Spencer. She could ruin everything with Isaac with one simple action. Isaac was everything Spencer wasn’t, and she couldn’t mess up the ideal life she had waiting for her. Not even for sexy as hell Spencer Wilson.
But she may have just lost the only other person besides Lily that meant something to her.
As she watched him walk out of her apartment, it was obvious that he was walking out of her life too. Harley didn’t understand why she felt so awful. She had been in a relationship with Isaac the entire time she had been hanging out with Spencer. She never gave him any reason to think otherwise.
So why was she nauseous over it all?
Why did her chest ache?
She let out a heavy sigh and dropped her head into her hands and sobbed.
