THIRTY-ONE
Life without Nell was pure shit. I knew I’d made the right decision for us both, but no part of it felt good. I’d spent the whole morning snapping at everyone, and I was pretty sure I’d screwed my chances at becoming a partner.
Melissa, my joint assistant, poked her head around my door. “Can I speak to you for a minute, please?”
I wanted to tell her no, and that if she spoke to me again, I’d fire her on the spot. But I didn’t. Grinding my teeth, I gestured to the chair. “Sure.”
She walked into the room and sat opposite my desk, her heels clicking against the polished concrete floor. “I know it’s not my place, but I just wanted to ask if you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” I replied.
“Well, I’m glad about that…”
“What’s going on, Melissa?”
“The email you sent me yesterday had a few mistakes in it, only minor things. I was able to check your contacts to find the correct addresses of the clients, but it’s unlike you. I’m sorry. I just wanted to see if there was anything extra I could help with?”
Sighing, I ran my hands over my face. “No, I’m sorry. My head’s been all over the place lately. I should’ve double-checked the details. I apologise for making more work for you.”
“It’s no problem. I was hired to assist you and Rich. I just want you to know that if you need extra support at work, I’m willing and capable of taking more on.”
“I know you are, Melissa. Thank you. I appreciate that. Can you move my four o’clock to next week? I’m going to leave early today.”
“Of course. Is there anything else?” she asked, standing up and flattening her tartan pencil skirt.
“No, but maybe in a week or two, we can look at your responsibilities.”
She beamed, her bright red lipstick cracking with her smile. “That sounds wonderful.”
Hell, if she wanted more shit to worry about, then she could have it. Rich gave her much more than I did because I hadn’t been full-time for long, and I’d wanted to experience everything. But I was confident I knew enough now, and I was—usually—shit-hot at my job, so Miranda could take some of the load off.
As soon as she closed my heavy wooden door, I closed my computer down and got my phone, which had a booty-call text from a girl I’d met last week. I was done for the day. I was going to go home, get laid, and forget everything that had been driving me insane for a while.
Emma threw her head back as she came, digging her nails into my thighs. It was enough to make me follow suit. I held her hips still, pressing deeper into her. As soon as it was all over, I felt empty. Emma was a good girl—sweet, funny, killer in bed—and she knew the score.
But she wasn’t Nell.
She groaned and lifted off, kissing my chest and lying beside me while she caught her breath. “I have to meet the girls in half an hour,” she said. “I’d better be able to feel my legs soon.”
Laughing, I looked over and raised my eyebrow. “If you come back, I’ll finish the job properly.”
“Damon!” she chastised, lightly slapping my arm. “I don’t think I could go again for a while.”
Neither could I—but for a completely different reason.
I wanted to be able to slot back into my pre-Nell life, but she’d been around for so long, and it was hard to readjust. There had been a few girls while Nell and I were fucking around, too. It had never been as good, never felt as right as it did with her, which was why I’d barely gone there, but I had still been able to do it then without all this guilt.
Today was my third time with Emma, and I knew that would be it. Things with Nell had started as a couple of nights when her friends merged with mine, and there was absolutely no way I would get myself into another situation like that.
Emma rolled off the bed and started getting dressed. I went to find my clothes.
My suit jacket was lying by the door, and the pinstripe shirt was near it. My charcoal trousers were beside the sofa, so I dumped the condom in the bin, slipped the trousers on, and waited for Emma.
“Okay,” she said, swiping her heels from the floor, “I’m ready.”
She didn’t look ready. She looked like she’d just been fucked. Her hair was no longer sleek and styled from where she’d been throwing it around, her mascara had smudged, and her cheeks were flushed.
I nodded and walked to the front door. “Take care of yourself,” I said.
She smiled and then kissed my cheek, knowing that we were done now and sex for us was off the menu. “You, too, Damon.”
My phone started to ring behind me. I gave Emma one last nod of the head, closed the door, and went to answer.
I took a breath before I picked up. “Hey, Logan.”
“Hey,” he replied, sounding stressed. “Look, I know you and Nell aren’t seeing each other anymore, but I think she needs you.”
My heart started to race. Why? “What’s going on? Is she okay?”
“She’s fine—physically anyway. Her mum died today…at the hands of her dad. She’s at the hospital still. Chloe’s going up there now.”
I swallowed hard. “Her mum? Shit! Okay, I’m leaving now. Do you know where in the hospital?”
“Her mum was taken to A and E, so I assume there.”
“Okay, thanks for letting me know, man.”
“No worries. I’m glad you’re going to her.”
I loved her, so I would always go to her, no matter how much she’d hurt me.
“Of course. Speak later.”
“Bye,” he said before hanging up.
For a second, I was frozen. How will Nell be? I didn’t even know if she’d want me there, but there was no way I wouldn’t go. Even if she told me to turn around when she saw me, I was still going to try.
My muscles finally unlocked, and I grabbed my clothes up, dashing to the bedroom. I chucked the old ones to the side and threw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.
Guilt burned me from the inside out. While I had been fucking someone else, Nell was at the hospital, dealing with her mum’s death. I would never forgive myself. She needed me, and I had been having it away with a girl I’d met a week earlier. My chest felt tight as I dressed as quickly as I could and ran my hands through my hair. Thankfully, it didn’t show that I’d just been fucked the way Emma had. But I could smell her still.
There was no time for a shower, so I sprayed deodorant and aftershave and hoped for the best.
It took me twenty minutes to get to the hospital, and I called Chloe, who was also just arriving.
“Damon!” she called, running toward me from the opposite side of the car park. “I’m so glad you came, too.”
“Have you heard from her?”
Chloe nodded with tears in her eyes. “She texted me, and I spoke to her nan. I was on my way back from viewing a venue with a bride, so I just got here. I can’t believe it.”
Neither could I. Logan only knew the basics, nothing in depth that told us what had gone down there.
“What happened?” I asked as we walked through the sliding doors into the building, both heading toward the desk halfway down the large reception and waiting room.
“I’m not sure. Her nan just said that her parents had an argument that resulted in her mum falling down the stairs. Apparently, she died instantly but was brought here. I don’t know if we should be here or at the morgue, so we need to find someone.”
“Jesus.” That’s rough.
We were almost at the desk when I heard my name being called. I stopped dead in my tracks. It was Nell’s voice, but it was so low and broken.
“Nell,” Chloe said, spinning around and darting back the way we’d come.
I looked over, and Nell was sitting down to the left of the entrance, staring up at us. She looked so devastated that it took my breath away.
Chloe dropped to her knees in front of her and whispered Nell’s name.
All I could do was watch for a second. I was so completely in love with Nell that it physically hurt to see her in pain. Unable to stand back any longer and just needing to try to make things better, I walked toward her and prepared to be whatever she needed me to be.