MARGINAL QUOTES

→ “As long as you’ve got good elimination, you’ve got it made.”—Uncle Leonard

→ “If a man can’t drive in a bar ditch, he’s got no business on the highway.”—Tink

→ “When asked how she got to be president, Anita replied, ‘I missed the meeting.’ ”

→ “You can’t use too much tape.”—Dr. Allen

→ Tom H. says, “I enjoy all company. Some when they arrive, some when they leave.”

→ “A true friend will tell you if yer hat’s on backwards.”—Calvin

→ “I’d rather be at the head of the ditch with a shovel than at the bottom with a decree.”—Tom on irrigation rights

→ “If they won’t come, you can’t stop ’em.”—Yogi B.

→ “He’s stooping to new heights.”—Sandy

→ “His eyes are so squinty, they could blindfold him with dental floss.”—Buck

→ “They teach chickens to lay eggs by walkin’ back and forth in front of them with a hatchet, humming, ‘Mmm, mmm, good, mmm, mmm, good. . . .’ ”—Doug

→ “The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.”—Hubert H.

→ “If you wanna put out a fire, start yer own!”—Hoot

→ “Cowboys walk in parts.”—Peter

→ “You have to know Mr. Dewey well in order to dislike him.”—Margaret T.

→ “Looks like his bad luck has peaked.”—baxter

→ “Horseshoein’s not so hard. It’s just the dread of doing it.”—Carl

→ “His sleeping bag smelled like they drove geese into it and beat them to death.”—Oly K.

→ “It’s been a month of Mondays!”—Sheryl

→ “I don’t deserve this award, but I’ve got sinuses and I don’t deserve them, either.”—Ace R.

→ “Sometimes you have no choice, so take it!”—baxter

→ “If yer smart, you’ll always believe in Santa Claus.” —Judy

→ “Sure you can sell out when things are good. But then what will you do?”—John

→ “Of course your waffle is tough; you ate the potholder.”—baxter